The Bench at the End of the Sidewalk
by Bellarella
Summary: Bella Cullen is bored with her existence until one night she meets Alice and Edward Masen, two gifted vampires running from their past with the Volturi. Will anyone ever get what they want or will the Volturi reclaim what they've lost?
1. Seattle

Seattle

**Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine but this story is.**

This was one of those days I wished I could die. I wasn't suicidal just bored and death, permanent death at least, is one of the few things I have never experienced and sounds interesting. Nothing around here ever seems to change. The monotony of the past two-hundred and fifty-six years was wearing on me. I let out a sigh wishing for something, anything to happen.

Maybe if I got lucky a meteor would fall from the sky vaporizing all life on earth leaving only myself and a few others to rebuild civilization. That would kill a few decades at the very least. Oh and maybe the meteor strike would open a hole in the Earth's crust exposing an underworld in which dinosaurs had been trapped for millennia, allowing them to return to the surface and learn to co-exist with the survivors. Humm… I wonder what dinosaur blood tastes like.

Why doesn't anything cool like that ever happen to me?

Over the past hundred years or so I've begun to feel that life has gotten rather stale. Sure I'd been around to see the invention of cars and watched the moon landing but still, every day holds the same unavoidable routine of getting dressed, maybe hunting, and finding something to occupy my time until my next class. Being unable to sleep regularly made life quite boring.

With another sigh I put down my dog eared copy of _Wuthering Heights_ and glanced over at Jasper. Studying as usual, I wonder if he'll pull his nose out of that textbook anytime in the foreseeable future.

Sensing my gaze, Jasper glanced up and winked, then went right back to staring intently at his massive textbook his shaggy blonde hair falling around his face.

"Jasper," I asked, "What exactly is it that you are studying this time?"

"Psychology," he mumbled distractedly.

"Don't you already have a doctorate in psychology?"

"Yes," Jasper sounded slightly annoyed, "but that was from 1952, the field has changed a little since then."

"Oh."

I could see that trying to talk to Jasper right now was going to be difficult and decided to give up. It was nearly impossible to distract him from his studies.

I love to read just as much as Jasper does and when I say we love to read, what I really mean is that we're obsessed with reading, it's like an addiction. A good book is like a drug. I personally find myself jonesing for a good book on a regular basis and I go through withdrawals if I can't find one. Reading is the number one way Jasper and I usually spend our time since neither of us have mates. The difference between Jasper and I is that while I read fine literature, he reads textbooks and war stories.

Just then the alarm on my phone went off pulling me from my musings. Ugh time for school. In less than five seconds I was dressed and by the front door. Super speed had its advantages, it was just too bad that I have to appear as normal as possible and drive to school like everyone else instead of just running. It's pathetic really how slow cars go; there isn't a car on earth I can't outrun.

Grabbing my keys I slipped out the door quietly so as not to disturb Jasper and went to my Jeep. I would have preferred to drive my Corvette to work but that would attract too much attention in a small town like Forks, Washington. I'd have to save it for the next time that I escaped from Forks to the city.

Outside Emmett was throwing a football back and forth to himself. To anyone passing by it would have appeared as though he was simply standing still he was moving so fast.

"Hey Bells," Emmett called pausing long enough for the football to become visible again, "Off to school again I see".

"Yeah well someone around here has to appear semi-normal at least part of the time," I answered shooting a look at his two new Hummers currently taking up far too much room in the garage. Emmett refused to drive anything that wasn't big, flashy, and loud, just like him. I'm not sure what Carlisle was thinking when he turned him, he tends to draw far too much attention to us.

"Hey I can't help it if I have a sense of style which must be maintained," he shot back with a shrug.

I just rolled my eyes and climbed into my reliable yellow 1979 CJ-5.

Don't get me wrong, I do love Emmett and I really couldn't ask for a better big brother when it came down to it but sometimes I really wonder if he was dropped on his head a lot in his past life or perhaps his soft spot had been poked one time to many as a baby. Maybe the damage was so extensive that even the most powerful healing force on Earth wasn't enough. My god what had he been like before? I think perhaps somewhere out there a village has been missing its idiot for quite some time now.

The engine roared to life and I made sure to gun it and drive straight for Emmett. He stepped out of the way at the last moment like he was moving out of the way for an old woman with a walker and stuck his tongue out at as I drove past. Hitting him wouldn't have hurt him in the least but my poor Jeep would have been destroyed.

On the way down our long gravel drive, I began to wonder why it was that I seem to be the only one around here who was tired of the same thing day after day, year after year. No one else seems to be bothered by it as much as I am. Emmett is too easily amused to notice much, Jaspers always so engrossed in his studies I'm not quite sure he is aware that it was no longer 1932, and Carlisle and Esme are just so happy with each other I'm not sure they even have the ability to be unhappy. The only one who seemed to understand even a portion of what I felt was Rosalie and that was just because she has never really been happy with her immortality.

Suddenly my phone rang disrupting my musings, Glamorous began playing.

"Hey Rose," I answered, already knowing who was calling.

"What is up my sista?" Rose asked brightly.

"Not much just heading to class like I have every day for the past semester."

"Oh, right I should know that," she paused and then continued slyly, "well I guess if you have class then you wouldn't want to go to Seattle with me for a girl's night out, am I right?"

"Don't be stupid Rose. Of course I want to go into the city," I chided her, "I'm dying of boredom but it'll have to wait until my class is over. Can you handle that?"

"I guess if I must I must," Rose replied playfully hanging up the phone.

I knew that at that very moment she was be beginning to tare through her closet and would continue to do so for the next four hours while I was at school stopping only to preen in front of her mirror once she found the perfect outfit. Rosalie loved to get dressed up to go out, mostly because she loves attention she gets from humans. We were all beautiful to humans but Rosalie puts supermodels to shame and needless to say, she's a little vain.

I would have thought the novelty of all the staring would have worn off by now but apparently I was wrong. I mean seventy plus years of making men's jaws drop and women's self esteem to drop even lower had to get old eventually, right? Apparently not for Rosalie.

Rose's love of the spotlight is probably one of the reasons she and Emmett are so perfect for each other. They always look like the Posh and Becks of Forks, always up on the latest fashions both in clothes and in cars. I'm not sure that I have ever seen them wear the same thing twice and as for cars, well I've never seen them drive anything that had been around for more than six months.

Rosalie and Emmett were truly meant for one another. Rosalie had been saved by Carlisle in the 1930's and had been so unhappy with what she had become until two years later. She had been out hunting in North Carolina when she came upon a bear mauling Emmett. She had seen something in him and had controlled her bloodlust enough to carry him over one-hundred miles to beg Carlisle to save him.

Immediately after waking up from the change Rose and Em were inseparable, they complemented one another perfectly. Where Rose could be stubborn and a bit stand offish at times, Emmett was always warm and open, in essence a giant teddy bear. The connection they share is obvious, even to an outsider, they're like two puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly.

I reached the Forks city limits and prepared myself for the hour drive to Port Angeles. I plugged in my I-pod and flipped through my songs until I settled on Seattle by The Classic Crime, I let myself get swept up in the irony of the lyrics.

My real estate  
My life is dull  
And dried up like the sound  
A voice makes when the heart grows cold  
And it's going that way

I think I'll move out of state  
Somewhere far from Seattle city lights  
They burn my eyes  
California sounds nice but California's a lie  
Maybe I'm out of luck  
Or maybe I'm just blind  
All this time

Rain on my hopes  
Rain on my soul  
Rain on everything that I know  
It feels so ludicrous  
The pursuit of this dream  
We thought we'd be there long ago

My life is like a rolling river  
So muddy and absurd  
And although I might be mistaken  
I know that I'll be heard  
And I find the sec I try to pull away  
I'm thrown back in line  
All this time

So  
Rain on my hopes  
Rain on my soul  
Rain on everything that I know  
It feels so ludicrous  
The pursuit of this dream  
We thought we'd be there long ago

Rain on my hopes  
Rain on my soul  
Rain on everything that I know  
It feels so ludicrous  
The pursuit of this dream  
We thought we'd be there long ago

And we are all looking for the same thing  
The same thing

Seattle is calling me back home  
Back home

So  
Rain on my hopes  
Rain on my soul  
Rain on everything that I know  
It feels so ludicrous  
The pursuit of this dream  
We thought we'd be there long ago

Rain on my hopes  
Rain on my soul  
Rain on everything that I know  
It feels so ludicrous  
The pursuit of this dream  
We thought we'd be there long ago

Too soon, I rounded the last bend and drove toward at the striking brick buildings that make up Peninsula College_. _I was so not in the mood for school today.

We have to move often, starting over about every seven years or so, otherwise people start to get suspicious that we never seem to age. Usually Rose, Emmett, Jasper and I pose as high students while Carlisle works at the nearest hospital and Esme works from home.

The younger we start out in a place the longer we can stay. This time though, I begged Carlisle to let me start out in college because I just couldn't take high school anymore. After much begging and many sad puppy dog faces, Carlisle finally gave in. Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie began their Junior year at Forks High and I am attending college in Port Angeles as a Freshman.

My cover story this time is that I am majoring in English Literature at Peninsula College in Port Angeles while living with my foster parents and adopted siblings. Emmett and I are Emmett and Bella Cullen, Carlisle and Esme's foster kids and Rosalie and Jasper are the Hale twins, Carlisle's niece and nephew whom he adopted when they were little.

Peninsula College is no Dartmouth but it serves its purpose. I'm just ecstatic that I don't have to pose as a high school student for the gazillionth time. There's really only so many times you can sit through a high school sex education class before you try to gouge your own eyes out with a spork.

I took my time getting out of the car. I felt the warmth of the day wash over me as I closed the car door and for once I am satisfied to move at the same speed as everyone else. I just enjoyed the feeling, glad that the rain had let up for a moment and reveling in the knowledge that summer was almost here.

It had been a long winter and a wet spring and sunshine would be a welcome change although when the sun did eventually show its' face it would be time for me to hide mine, from the humans at least.

It's a good thing the stories about vampires burning up in sunlight are completely untrue, something that didn't even come into folklore until fairly recently just like the myths about garlic and holy water. I guess our supposed weaknesses make people feel better thinking they are safe from us at least part of the time although most don't believe we exist anyway. Too bad for the humans we do exist and those stories about our weaknesses are entirely false, there's really nothing they can do to hurt us.

"Bella!" I heard someone call my name and internally groaned when I realized who was coming my way.

"Hello Mike," I replied as politely as I could manage while Mike Newton jogged across the parking lot toward me with a big dumb grin on his face.

Mike was in my English 101 course in the fall semester and began to follow me around and ask me out periodically from day one which was a little odd. Although we are physically incredibly attractive to humans, most tended to stay away from us. Something on a subconscious level seems to tell them not to get too close, a little unconscious self preservation. Men may lust after Rosalie but few ever dared approach. Most probably chalk their fears up to her being way out of their league never dwelling on the otherworldliness of her beauty.

"Hey Bella," Mike began shifting nervously, "I was just wondering if you were free tomorrow night? A bunch of us from Forks are going to the movies after class then back to my house for a party. You could be my date." He glanced at me hopefully.

"Oh Mike, I would love to," I gushed while watching him grin with excitement only to be brought back down to earth by my next words, "but unfortunately I'm going camping with my brothers for the weekend."

It was a complete lie but I knew Mike wouldn't dare question it. He had met Emmett and Jasper when we had gone into his parent's sporting goods store to buy camping equipment a few months ago. He had made the mistake of letting them catch him staring at my ass and well, he won't be trying to mess with them anytime soon.

Mike looked flustered, "Oh your brothers, I see. Um well okay I've… I've got to uh go," he stuttered obviously remembering the threats they had made, "Bye." And with that he ran off in the opposite direction.

I chuckled to myself, free at last. Sometimes it's good to have very large over protective brothers.

I made my way to the math building and settled in for another boring math lesson, my least favorite subject, other than sex education that is.

One math class and a mind numbing introductory Spanish class later I was free. I jogged to the parking lot making sure to move at a human pace, eager to get home.

When I arrived back at the mansion Rosalie was waiting by the door for me wearing a form fitting red dress with my Rosalie approved outfit in one hand and a pair of killer Jimmy Choo heels in the other.

"Rosalie," I groaned, "you know I hate wearing heels, why can't I just wear some flats?"

"Because I said so," was the only answer I got as I was pushed upstairs to change.

When I reemerged moments later wearing a dark blue thigh length halter dress with a plunging neckline, Rosalie and Esme were waiting downstairs for me.

Esme gave me a loving smile and a warm hug when I reached the bottom of the stairs.

"You look beautiful Bella, dark blue is really your color. You two have fun tonight and don't get yourselves into any trouble. I'll make sure the boys behave themselves."

"Thanks Esme," I said with a smile. "Esme can you please make sure Emmett stays out of my room? Last time he snuck up there and toilet papered the whole thing and left a shopping cart in the middle of my room. I think he's been in high school for too long. I didn't even know we had toilet paper."

Rosalie shook her head and muttered something about her Emmy Bear under her breath. Just then as if on cue Emmett walked out of the den and let out a low whistle.

"Whoa Rosie baby you look hot! You too Bella boo. Maybe I should go with you girls so I can keep all those guys from throwing themselves at you."

Rosalie let out a giggle and reached up to give Emmett a long passionate kiss goodbye. Then she turned to me and quickly dragged me out the door to her waiting M3 convertible before I could muster up enough courage to run back upstairs and change into something more comfortable.


	2. Don't Trust Me

**Disclaimer: I do not now, nor will I ever own Twilight but if it would hurry up and get here I will soon own a hamburger phone.**

Normally the drive from Forks to Seattle takes about three and a half hours but with Rosalie behind the wheel the trip only took about two. We spent the entire ride catching up on everything we found it hard to gossip about in a house full of vampires with super hearing and jamming to the required 'girl's night out' classics.

Once we arrived we quickly parked and made our past the long line waiting to get into The Showbox. As soon as we reached the bouncer, he took one look at Rosalie and pulled aside the velvet ropes to allow us inside. This was of course followed by a chorus of groans by some other patrons who, from the looks of it, were going to be waiting in line for quite awhile.

The Showbox has always been one of my favorite clubs in Seattle. They always have an awesome atmosphere and good bands playing and for me, good music is a must. Rosalie prefers dance music as well as pop and hip hop but I prefer rock especially indie rock and many times the Showbox provides a little of both.

As soon as we walked in we quickly scoped out our surroundings and headed straight for the dance floor. It wasn't long before we were lost in the music and movement of our bodies to the beat as 3Oh3's Don't Trust me began playing and I couldn't help but sing along.

Black dress, with the tights underneath.  
I've got the breath of a last cigarette on my teeth.  
And she's an actress, (actress), but she ain't got no need.  
She's got money from her parents in a trust fund back east.

T-t-t-tongues, always pressed to your cheeks.  
While my tongue is on the inside of some other girl's teeth.  
T-tell your boyfriend, if he says he's got beef,  
That I'm a vegetarian, and I ain't fucking scared of him.

She wants to touch me whoa-oh.  
She wants to love me whoa-oh.  
She'll never leave me whoa-oh, whoa-oh, oh, oh.  
Don't trust a hoe.  
Never trust a hoe.  
Won't trust a hoe  
Cause a hoe won't trust me.

She wants to touch me whoa-oh.  
She wants to love me whoa-oh.  
She'll never leave me whoa-oh, woah-oh, oh, oh.  
Don't trust a hoe.  
Never trust a hoe.  
Won't trust hoe  
Cause a hoe won't trust me.

X's on the back of your hands,  
Wash them in the bathroom to drink like the bands,  
And the set list (set list), you stole off the stage,  
Had red and purple lipstick all over the page.

Br-br-br-bruises, cover your arms.  
Shaking in the fingers with the bottle in your palm.  
And the best is,(best is) no one knows who you are,  
Just another girl: alone at the bar.

She wants to touch me whoa-oh.  
She wants to love me whoa-oh.  
She'll never leave me whoa-oh, whoa-oh, oh, oh.  
Don't trust a hoe.  
Never trust a hoe.  
Won't trust a hoe  
Cause a hoe won't trust me.

She wants to touch me whoa-oh.  
She wants to love me whoa-oh.  
She'll never leave me whoa-oh, whoa-oh, oh, oh.  
Don't trust a hoe.  
Never trust a hoe.  
Won't trust a hoe  
Cause a hoe won't trust me.

Shush girl, shut your lips.  
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.  
I said shush girl, shut your lips.  
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.  
I said shush girl, shut your lips.  
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.

She wants to touch me whoa-oh  
She wants to love me whoa-oh.  
She'll never leave me whoa-oh, whoa-oh, oh, oh.  
Don't trust a hoe.  
Never trust a hoe.  
Won't trust a hoe  
Cause a hoe won't trust me.

She wants to touch me whoa-oh.  
She wants to love me whoa-oh.  
She'll never leave me whoa-oh, whoa-oh, oh, oh.  
Don't trust a hoe.  
Never trust a hoe.  
Won't trust a hoe  
Cause a hoe won't trust me.

Suddenly I was pulled from my dance induced trance by a scent I knew very well, vampire. I felt Rosalie stiffen beside me and knew she smelled it as well. We made our way off of the dance floor and over to a table so that we could scope out our surroundings.

Other vampires aren't necessarily dangerous to us but if they felt we were intruding on their territory there could be problems. It's always good to be prepared for anything.

The scent was stronger here and getting more powerful by the second yet I still couldn't see any other vampires as I scanned the top of the crowd. I glanced over at Rosalie nervously and saw that she wasn't having much luck either.

Suddenly a musical little voice I didn't recognize piped up excitedly.

"Hi Bella!"

If it were possible for me to shit my pants I would have done so on the spot I was so startled.

Standing in front of me, bouncing excitedly from one foot to the other, was an extremely petite vampire, with inky black hair spiked all over her head. My eyes widened as I fully took her in. She was dressed to the hilt in all designer clothes and as my eyes made their way toward her face I was suddenly accosted by a huge smile and large friendly golden eyes.

"I'm Alice" she said sticking her hand out in front of her, "we're going to be great friends."

My mouth just dropped in shock. Not only did this strange vampire know my name, she was obviously a vegetarian like us and apparently she's crazy. I wondered briefly if it was possible for vampires to get high on drugs because if it is, this girls trippin'.

"Um, hi" was all I managed.

If it was possible her smile grew even wider and it looked like perhaps she was going to throw herself at me when she suddenly turned her attention to Rosalie.

"Hey Rosalie, I love your clothes" she gushed, "I can't wait to go shopping with you and Esme, it's going to be so much fun I can't wait! You're going to look beautiful in your gown at Jazzy and my wedding."

Holy crap she is bat shit crazy! Not only does she know our names but she thinks she's going to marry Jasper? We have got to get away from this basket case and warn the others before she shows up on our doorstep and starts moving herself in.

Rosalie was for the first time in her life at a loss for words. She just kept looking from Alice to me with her mouth hanging open and an expression on her face that portrayed exactly what I was thinking.

Alice didn't seemed put off by this at all, in fact she just took a seat at the table like she belonged there and kept smiling at us like this was the best day of her life.

Rosalie still hadn't moved and clearly she wasn't going to be any help so I was going to have to take matters into my own hands. We needed to know as much as we could about this girl and why she seems to know so much about us. But where to begin this incredibly strange conversation? I decided to just take a page out of Emmett's book and get straight to the point.

"Who are you? How do you know who we are? Any why the fuck would you want to marry Jasper?" I asked in a voice too low for the humans to hear.

Alice let out a trilling little giggle before she began. "I'm Mary Alice Masen and I can see the future. I've had visions of us becoming sisters for quite some time now. I know all about you and your family and I love you all already! As for Jasper" she gave a little sigh of contentment, "I've had visions of him ever since I awoke in this life and I've just been waiting until the time is right to begin our forever together. He's my soul mate."

Alice took in a quick breath before continuing, "we've just recently left the Volturi and traveled here to start our lives over when I began having my visions about you. We're even vegetarians too so I know we'll fit into your lifestyle just fine."

This was too much for me. I was on information overload which is really hard to do to a vampire. I have in front of me a hyper little vampire who not only has the power to see the future but she sees her future as joining our family and being Jasper's soul mate. Not to mention the fact that she just nonchalantly mentioned that they were former members of the Volturi and… wait did she say we?

"Um Alice did you say we? Who's we?" I asked

Before she could begin again, Rosalie seemed to snap out of her daze. "We need to take this outside we are starting to attract too much attention just sitting here. Besides we need to call Carlisle and let him know what's going on."

I nodded in agreement and turned to Alice to explain but before I could say anything she got a glazed look on her face for a fraction of a second and then started.

"You're right. We do need to get out of here now, otherwise there will be trouble in about two minutes time when one of the bartenders slices his hand open."

Rosalie and I exchanged glances before quickly standing and making our way to the front door of the club. We may have excellent self control but we like to stay away from the temptation of freshly spilt human blood at all costs. Besides we had no idea what Alice's restraint may be.

Several seconds later we emerged outside into the cool Seattle night. Rosalie pulled out her cell phone and quickly began dialing Carlisle when I remembered what I had asked back in the club.

"Alice, back in the club you said we, who is we?"

"Oh silly me" laughed Alice, "when I said we I meant my brother Edward and I."

Just then Rosalie snapped her phone shut and rejoined us. "Carlisle would like to invite you and your brother to accompany us back to Forks so that we can talk."

Alice jumped and clapped her hands excitedly, "Of course we'll come! I can't wait to see everyone in person and to actually meet Jasper!'

""Okay" I said slowly, "well, where is this brother of yours?"

"He's waiting just down the street for me" Alice said skipping down the street, "large crowds hurt his head."

We followed behind warily until we reached a bench on at the end of the sidewalk on which the most glorious man I have ever seen in my two hundred and seventy-three years on this planet was waiting.

**The next chapter will be from Edward's POV. Please review!**

**Thanks,**

**Bellarella**


	3. Sister Psychic

Disclaimer: Never have I ever owned Twilight, or a unicorn for that matter what a shame.

SISTER PSYCHIC

EPOV

As I stared at the most gorgeous creature I had ever seen I couldn't help but reflect on the events leading up to this moment.

I, Edward Anthony Masen had been a member of the Volturi guard since nineteen eighteen when I was changed into a vampire by another guard member, Eleazar, who had been hunting for humans that would possess talents desirable to the Volturi once turned. I was one of those poor unfortunate souls.

Once I awoke from three days of burning hell, I was made a high ranking member of the guard. I had been cursed with the talent of mind reading, a gift the Volturi highly prized.

I call it a curse because I can't turn it off I never get any peace from the thoughts of those around me, human and vampire alike. To make it worse I was a pariah in the guard and had no one until the day I met Mary Alice Brandon, Alice for short, a psychic with an unknown past with whom I had instantly bonded over our "freak" status as well as our revulsion toward what we are.

Over the course of eighty or so years, Alice and I had grown very close. Shortly after meeting Alice, I had begun to feel very protective of her leading us to rarely be apart. Many wondered if we were mates but I had never had those feelings for Alice and I realize now that she felt more like a sister to me than anything else, odd feelings for a vampire.

It was hard for us to hunt humans like the rest of the guard because of our abilities. Personally I couldn't bear to read the minds of my victims as I fed on them. Listening to the fearful thoughts as I approached and began to feed paired with my being forced to share in the whole "watching your life pass before your eyes" moment made the whole experience far less pleasurable.

For Alice the experience was similar. Many times she would experience visions of the consequences of her actions. She could see the lives her victims would have if she decided not to feed from them.

To say that the amount of guilt we experienced when feeding on humans was overwhelming would be an understatement. It only made sense for us to find a suitable substitute for human blood but we weren't sure that there was one.

That was until the day I "heard" the thoughts of a Jane, another member of the guard. She was angry about a mission that had apparently not gone as planned and was internally cursing "those damned animal drinkers".

Alice and I immediately decided that trying to substitute our diet with animal blood feeling that it couldn't hurt to try as long as we didn't share our plan with the other members of the guard as we would be ostracized and looked at as being freakier than we already are.

That night we snuck out of Volterra and into the neighboring countryside to try this "alternative lifestyle". By that time Alice had had a vision of us successfully taking down some large deer and not falling over dead which we took as a good sign. Unfortunately, our futures after that point were quite fuzzy as we hadn't made a conscious decision about whether or not to permanently change our diet.

Once we had decided that we were far enough from humans to hunt safely we gave ourselves over to our instincts and began to hunt.

It wasn't long before I heard the unmistakable thudding of a large heart pumping blood and caught the less than appetizing scent of a large animal nearby. I had wrinkled my nose in disgust but decided to go for it.

In no time at all I had taken down a large buck and drained it completely. The blood was not as satisfying as that of a human but I found once I got past the smell it was tolerable.

After taking down another deer, a doe this time, I found Alice nearby finishing up as well. We talked about it and decided that although the blood of animals was less appealing than that of humans, the experience of feeding was far more enjoyable as we felt no guilt about what we had done and that we would make a conscious effort to change our diet.

It was at that moment that Alice's visions of the golden eyed vampires began.

Alice's visions showed a coven of vampires who seemed to behave more like a family than a coven which I had never in all my years encountered. Her visions showed us joining this "family" sometime in the near future which excited Alice to no end as one of the members of this coven was the vampire about whom she had been having visions since she awoke to this life, Jasper.

Ever since Alice had been brought to the Volturi in the 1920's I have seen her visions of Jasper. She is certain that he is her soul mate as she can see flashes of her future with him. Oddly, she had never gotten a good look at his face until she made the conscious decision to feed from animals, it was then that she discovered that he had golden eyes.

We weren't sure why our decision to change our diet had led to these visions about us someday joining this golden eyed family but somehow they must be related.

Alice then openly began sharing her visions with me, showing me hazy glimpses of what our life with them would be like if we were to make the decision to leave the Volturi but there was something or someone she was blocking from me.

Alice was the only member of the guard or vampire for that matter, other than Aro, who had found effective means of blocking her thoughts from me and it could be quite frustrating. Currently she was translating the entire Koran into Swahili. When she learned Swahili I have no idea but then Alice was always full of surprises.

We spent the entire night reviewing Alice's visions and I was amazed that they seemed to show us as being truly happy for once. Alice had always been very energetic and naturally very happy and friendly but underneath it all had been an immense feeling of guilt for taking so many lives but in her visions I could detect no underlying sadness or guilt only pure happiness.

As for myself, I like to think of myself as being quite stoic to the outside world. I try to come off as indifferent to the world around me as possible while on the inside I am wracked with guilt for all of the atrocities I have committed and the monster I have become. Seeing Alice's visions of myself appearing relaxed and dare I say, happy, was a shock to my system and was the leading factor in my decision to seek out this family.

As soon as I made up my mind, Alice's visions suddenly came into sharper focus and the mystery of the golden eyes was revealed.

Alice saw us hunting with this family, the Cullens, and we were not hunting humans. Apparently these were the "damned animal drinkers", about whom Jane had been cursing and we came to the conclusion that animal blood must change our eyes from the bloody red we were used to, into a more friendly golden color.

With that, we began to plot our escape from Volterra.

All members of the guard joined and stayed with the Volturi as a "choice". In reality many of us weren't really given the option of either joining or in essence being shit listed.

Being on the shit list was a dangerous place to be. Most of the vampires who found themselves in this position were eventually eradicated due to minor infractions to our rules which would normally be overlooked. It is this fear that leads most vampires to "choose" to join the guard.

Leaving the guard was even more difficult than refusing to join. One of the guard members, Chelsea, has the talent to strengthen or weaken bonds. Within the guard she used her power to keep us all loyal to the brothers Aro, Caius, and Marcus.

As members of the Volturi guard we were also allowed no secrets. That was one of my jobs as the "resident mind reader", to monitor the thoughts of both the other members of the guard in order to keep the brothers in control and to lessen dissent in the ranks. I had to report my findings back to Aro on a regular basis. Another reason I was a pariah among the guard.

Because of my mind invasions, I had inadvertently learned that Chelsea's powers could be overcome if a vampire had a strong enough bond, such as to a mate, or a heartfelt reason to leave the guard. We knew that Chelsea's power would make it hard for us to leave but fortunately, Alice saw that our desires were strong enough to overcome her hold over us.

As soon as we had come up with a plan, we began running as fast and as far from Volterra as we could hoping against hope that the Volturi would willingly let us go and if not then we hoped that we had enough of a head start that they would be unable to follow us. Alice couldn't get answers to any of these questions because no one had made a conscious decision to investigate our absence.

By searching Alice's visions we found that the Cullens were living in Forks, Washington and so we boarded the first fight to America on our route to Forks. We had decided that we had best hide our trail as well as possible from the Volturi in case they did decide to come looking for us eventually so Alice and I spent the next three months slowly making our way across America creating as many false trails as possible and allowing our eyes to change colors so as not to upset the Cullens.

After we finally arrived in Washington we were about to begin our run to Forks when Alice had yet another vision. In this vision she saw herself meeting a member of the Cullens at The Showbox, a dance club in Seattle.

We quickly rented a car and drove toward Seattle.

Alice being Alice insisted that we go shopping as soon as we arrived so that we would be presentable to our "new family". I grudgingly accompanied her into store after store spending a small fortune until she felt we looked our best listening to Alice telling each clerk that asked what the occasion was that she and her brother were going to a family reunion her grin growing wider each time she said it.

As Alice dragged me from store to store I felt like her walking credit card holder. If nothing else, our time as vampires had allowed us to accumulate vast sums of money over the years. Alice's ability to predict the trends in stocks didn't hurt either so we had nearly unlimited funds at our disposal. We had also been smart enough to spread our assets out around the globe making it very hard for the Volturi to track our transactions should they care to do so.

Before long, Alice informed me that it was finally time to meet the Cullens. It took all I had to control her before she bounced out of her shoes she was so excited.

We decided to leave our car where it was parked and to walk to the club as it was nearby. As we were walking, she had begun to occasionally emit high pitched squeals of delight scaring one passerby enough that she almost fell into the path of an oncoming bus. Thankfully vampire speed allowed me to pull her out of the path of certain death before she even knew she was in danger.

As we neared the club I suddenly smelled two vampires. One of which possessed the most tantalizing scent I had ever encountered. It was a mixture of strawberries and freesia and gave me the chills, which was really odd since we don't get chilly.

All of this confused me as Alice had only mentioned meeting one member of the Cullens but when I tried to ask her about it she just ignored me choosing instead to skip ahead and begin to sing Smash Mouth's song Sister Psychic in her head blocking me out once again, frustrating.

Once were outside of the club I began to feel a bit overwhelmed by how many humans were present. Their thoughts were so uninhibited by alcohol that it felt like hundreds of people were screaming their vulgar thoughts at me all at once. Alice saw my pain and suggested that I wait outside while she found the Cullens.

I quickly agreed and made my way to an empty bench at the end of the sidewalk as Alice went inside. Alice was still blocking her thoughts from me so I began to sing along with her to take my mind off of how nervous I was.

Sister Psychic won't you tell me does it ever get better  
Can you really see the future or just predict the weather  
Are we in our finest hour or headed for disaster  
Use your super powers and rescue me  
We were there at the start we've got Polaroids to prove it  
Skateboards and scars and embarrassing home movies  
But if you really wanna see where it's all goin'  
Switch on your TV she's all tellin', all knowin'  
She knows everything

Sister Psychic, won't you tell me does it ever get better  
Can you really see the future or just predict the weather  
Are we in our finest hour or headed for disaster  
Use your super powers and rescue me

Can you help us find the ones on the missing posters  
Is my baby being true, am I doin' what I'm supposed to  
Could you help me find my keys or better yet life's meaning  
Are those tarot or dialogue cards that you're reading  
C'mon  
Tell me everything

Sister Psychic, won't you tell me does it ever get better  
Can you really see the future or just predict the weather  
Are we in our finest hour or headed for disaster  
Use your super powers and rescue me

Sister, why would I tell you my deepest, dark secrets  
So you can take my diary and rip it all to pieces  
Just $6.95 for the very first minute  
I think you've won the lottery that's my prediction  
You know everything

Sister Psychic, won't you tell me does it ever get better  
Can you really see the future or just predict the weather  
Are we in our finest hour or headed for disaster  
Use your super powers and rescue me  
Sister Psychic, won't you tell me does it ever get better  
Can you really see the future or just predict the weather  
Are we in our finest hour or headed for disaster  
Use your super powers and rescue me.

Just as I finished singing along with Alice for the second time, I heard her quickly approaching followed by two other vampires. I was suddenly more confused as ever. I could still hear Alice singing in her head, this time the theme song to the Love Boat, and I could make out the confused and wary thoughts of one other vampire but there was silence from the other set of footsteps and this was a first. As they got closer my curiosity got the better of me and I stood to greet them when I was suddenly met with the sight of the most exquisite woman I have seen in my entire one-hundred and eleven years, and apparently the owner of that tantalizing scent and silent mind.


	4. Daddy's Little Girl

In front of me sat the most fabulous piece of man meat I have ever come across. He had the most perfect features with a chiseled jaw, bronze sex hair, and his body, oh god his body!

He slowly stood and turned to face us but froze suddenly, his golden eyes growing wide as he focused at me. We stared at one another for what seemed both like an eternity and a nanosecond all rolled into one before Alice broke me out of my reverie.

"Bella, Rosalie, I would like you to meet my brother Edward" she said throwing her arm around his waist, "and Edward I would like you to meet Bella and Rosalie Cullen."

With that Edward seemed to snap out of his daze and flashed us the most heartbreakingly gorgeous grin I have ever seen.

It was at that moment that I was thankful to be a vampire because had I been human, I would have begun to hyperventilate and then proceeded to dropped dead from my heart suddenly exploding out of my chest.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Never in all my years have I encountered such a fine specimen of man and here I am, making myself look like an idiot with my mouth hanging wide open drooling no doubt. Luckily no one else seemed to notice.

Rosalie just nodded her head stiffly in Edward's direction. I knew she was being cautious and rightly so. We knew nothing about these vampires and they seemed to know a lot about us. We needed to find out as much as we could about them and what they know but it would have to wait until we reached Forks. Carlisle would surely have many questions for our visitors.

The only greeting I seemed to be able to muster was a shy hello at which Edward's entire face seemed to light up, odd.

"Well" interrupted Rosalie stepping in front of me slightly, "I suppose we had best be on our way. It is a bit of a ride to Forks and I am sure our family is anxious to meet you both. Do you have transportation or will you be needing a ride from us?"

"Actually" began Edward in the sexiest, most velvety voice I had ever heard, "we have a car. If you wouldn't mind waiting for us to retrieve it we would be happy to follow you to Forks."

"Of course" said Rosalie with a nod.

With that Alice and Edward dashed off to retrieve their car while Rosalie and I got her M3 out of the parking lot. It wasn't long before we saw them behind us and began our drive to Forks.

I was glad they had a car of their own because Rosalie and I needed this time to figure out what was going on as well to call Carlisle and update him on the situation. I also needed a private moment to process what had just happened.

"So" I said slowly, not knowing exactly how to begin this conversation, "what do you think of our new 'friends' Rose?"

Rosalie put her hand to her forehead for a moment, collecting her thoughts, before beginning.

"Well for starters the little one, Alice, scares the bejesus out of me. I mean seriously who comes up to a couple of strangers in a club and begins spouting off random crap about them, their families, and how they can't wait to marry your brother? A stalker that's who!" said Rose without pause while waving her arms wildly around her head.

I couldn't help but laugh, Rosalie almost never gets this worked up by anyone other than Emmett and then she usually just smacks him upside the head and calls him an idiot not dwelling on whatever stupid thing he had just done or said.

"Bella" Rosalie huffed, "don't laugh, this isn't funny! You heard that nut job, she thinks you're going to be her new best friend and that she's going to marry poor innocent Jasper!"

"Yeah well" I began but was quickly cut off by Rosalie's continued ramblings.

"I'm just thankful she doesn't have her sights set on my Emmy Bear or I would have to tear her limb from limb and burn the pieces and I'm really not dressed for it. And oh god did you see her outfit? It was amazing it would really be a shame to ruin it…"

I allowed Rosalie to continue her monologue until we hit the highway before I pulled out my cell phone and quickly dialed Carlisle's number. The phone was picked up after the first ring but not by Carlisle, instead it was Emmett who answered, lucky me.

"Texas state pen, you try 'em we fry 'em! This is Emmett speaking, what can I do you for?" he shouted happily into the phone.

"Oh. My. God Emmett! Could you be any more callous? Of all the ways to answer a phone!" I snapped.

"Sorry Belly" Emmett said remorsefully, "what's up?"

"Well Emmy" I retorted sarcastically, knowing he hates to be called Emmy by anyone other than Rose, "I need to speak to Carlisle about these new vamps if you can handle that."

"Now Bella boo" Emmett began condescendingly, "is that really anyway to talk to your favorite brother? I'm sure you could be a little nicer to me than that, otherwise we might just need to see an encore presentation of Christmas '45. You remember that Christmas don't you sissy? That 's the year you…"

Emmett was suddenly cut off and I heard some scuffling in the background followed by the sound of something shattering and Esme's angry shouts before Carlisle managed to wrestle the phone away from Emmett.

"Bella?"he asked.

""Yeah Dad it's me."

"Oh good. Honey are you and Rosalie okay?" he asked obviously worried.

"Yes Dad we're fine" I said rolling my eyes.

Carlisle and I have always had a very special relationship. He was the one who found and changed me in 1753 as I was dying from Smallpox at the London Smallpox hospital in Coldbath Fields where he was working as a doctor.

At that time, Carlisle had been a vampire for almost a century but was only just beginning to practice medicine. He had been studying at night for many years but hadn't trusted his self control enough until then.

I was an orphan at the time, having been raised by my great-uncle Phillip after my parents had died during the first wave of the 1732 Influenza epidemic when I was only six years old. Soon after turning seventeen I had contracted an aggressive strain of smallpox and was slowly and painfully succumbing to the disease.

While my uncle Phillip had always been kind, he was distant and rarely home, instead leaving me to be raised by a parade of nannies, never really giving me a sense of having a family. Over the course of my stay at the hospital, Carlisle became my protector and I had begun to see him as the father figure I never had.

Unfortunately, even under Carlisle's close supervision, I reached a point that I was beyond the help of medicine. When I was on my deathbed, Carlisle realized that he couldn't bear to stand by and watch me die when he had the power to save me, so in an act of compassion, and in his mind selfishness, he changed me.

After my transformation, I felt only natural to begin calling him my father and he admitted that he always thought of me like his own daughter. So to me he will always be my dad and I will always be his little girl. To everyone else in our family, he is Carlisle, a father figure, or in Esme's case a husband, but he will never be their dad.

"Alright Bella, if you're sure" he continued ignoring my tone, "please tell me what you know about our guests."

"Well there are two of them. Alice is the one I'm sure Rosalie told you about. She is the one who approached us in the club. She appears to be a vegetarian based on our eye color and comes off as very friendly but well, odd."

"Other vegetarians, outside of our family and the Denali coven, how exciting" he exclaimed, " but you said she is odd, how so?"

"Well…" I paused searching for the right words, "when she approached us in the club she was incredibly energetic, even more so than Emmett if you can believe it, she already knew our names and well… sheclaimsshesgoingtomarryJasper" I blurted out in a rush.

I heard Carlisle make a choking sound before responding. "I'm sorry Bells, I thought you said she thinks she's going to marry Jasper."

"Yeah about that, um that's exactly what I said."

I was met with a stunned silence followed by a loud guffaw from Carlisle. I could hear Emmett's uncontrollable laughter in the background and I knew immediately that everyone else had been listening in and that poor Jasper had heard what psychotic Alice had in mind for him.

After Carlisle managed to regain some composure I continued. "So like I said before, she's a little odd."

"Apparently so" said Carlisle with a chuckle. "What about this brother she mentioned, have you and Rose met him yet?"

With that I suddenly had the phone wrenched out of my hands by Rosalie.

"Carlisle, it's Rose. Yeah we met Alice's brother, Edward's his name. He seems to be vegetarian as well and doesn't come off as crazy like his sister but Carlisle, I think we may have a problem."

A problem? I thought to myself. What could possibly be wrong with this living god, this Adonis, who had done nothing but smile his gorgeous smile and nod his perfect head? I gave Rosalie a confused look while she continued. Apparently Carlisle had begun asking questions while I was distracted.

"No Carlisle, he appears to be in control of his blood lust. The problem my dear man is the way in which he looks at your dear, sweet, innocent Bella. " Rosalie paused allowing Carlisle to ask a question, "No he doesn't appear to be aggressive just very, very interested if you catch my drift" she finished.

"What do you mean by interested?" Carlisle growled.

"I mean he was looking at her in the same way that Emmett looks at me and you look at Esme, you know, interested."

"Rosalie you had better put the pedal to the metal and bring my little girl home NOW!" Carlisle shouted, "I don't want that degenerate bastard anywhere near my Bella without me! Do you hear me Rosalie? Nowhere near her!" he almost screamed.

With that the phone cut off. Rosalie gave me a funny look and a wink before following orders and 'putting the pedal to the metal'.

What the hell just happened?


	5. At Last

At Last

**Disclaimer: As a review, Twilight, yeah not mine. The pink Flamingos outside my house though, those babies belong to me.**

APOV

I was having a really, really hard time containing myself. In a few short moments I was going to meet Jasper, my soul mate.

"Eeeeeeekkkkkkk!"

Edward jumped, jerking the steering wheel to the left causing us to swerve into oncoming traffic.

Alright so I'll be the first to admit, I'm not doing such a great job at containing myself.

"Dammit Alice! If you don't calm down I swear to God."

"You'll stop this car and force feed me rabid field mice for the rest of eternity, I know."

"_Edward_" I thought, "_I have been waiting almost ninety years for this day. Would it kill you to let me enjoy this just a little_?"

He just glared at me and I went back to ignoring Mr. Grumpy, how could you let me look like such an idiot in front of Bella, Pants.

I settled back into my seat to enjoy my visions of our futures for the umpteenth time. The vision I was currently most interested in was the one that would soon come to pass. It showed me meeting Jasper for the first time.

Ever since I awoke from my change I have had no memory of my previous life. When I opened my eyes all I had were two visions and a bracelet with my name on in.

The first vision I had was of finding Jasper and glimpses of my life with him. He's my soul mate, he just doesn't know it yet.

The second vision I had was of joining the Volturi and meeting Edward. I really had no interest in being a member of the guard but I knew that I would have to do so in order to meet Edward and to one day meet Jasper. I didn't know how at the time but I could tell they were somehow connected.

I know now that had I not met Edward, I probably would never have switched my diet to animal blood which would have made meeting Jasper less and less likely.

I felt Edward give my hand an encouraging squeeze and knew he had been listening to my thoughts.

"Alice" he started quietly, "why are you still hiding some of your visions from me?"

"Because my dear brother, where would you get your excitement in life if you always knew what was headed your way?"

Edward let out an amused snort.

"This coming from the girl who knows years in advance what she'll be wearing in the spring. Really Alice you're one to talk, you're never surprised."

"Well Mr. Doof" Edward gave me an incredulous look, "What, Mr. Doof? It somehow just feels right. Anyway as I was saying, I am regularly surprised. I wasn't born knowing everything you know. I can't see anything until someone makes a decision and I get a vision about it."

Edward started to say something else but I cut him off. "Besides when I get my visions then I'm surprised. The only difference between myself and the normal vamp on the street is that I am surprised in advance rather that at that moment."

Edward just stared at me like I had grown two heads, let go of my hand and turned his attention back to the car in front of us. He was trying desperately to see into Bella's mind.

_Good Luck with that Edward. I'm not going to tell you anything else but I will tell you_ _that no matter how hard you try you're not getting into that girl's head so you might as well give up._

Edward just waved me off and went back to concentrating on breaking into Bella's mind, staring holes in the windshield and pulling at his hair. He was just frustrated that he can't see if she's as attracted to him as he is to her. He's never been unable to get into someone's mind before and it's driving him insane.

I regularly block my thoughts from him but it's not the same. To him Bella's mind is like a blank space, it's as though she doesn't exist.

After watching my visions a few more times I began to bounce in my seat faster and faster. We were just outside of Forks and in a matter of minutes I was going to come face to face with my future. I think I'm going to wet my pants I'm so excited!

At that Edward let out a chuckle. I mean it's understandable vampires don't pee but seriously I think I might. Just then I had another vision.

Edward slammed on the brakes causing the car to skid to a halt.

"Alice what the fuck?" he shouted, "why the hell are you having visions about one of the Cullens tearing off the roof of this car and pulling me out only to disembowel me while screaming about degenerate bastards and little girls when we get in the driveway?"

"Psh Edward this isn't just about you." I scolded, " You know. You could stop worrying so much about yourself and just be happy for me."

"Mary Alice Brandon!" he screamed.

"Alice Masen" I corrected calmly, "I changed my name remember."

"What the fuck ever! Change your name to McLovin for all I care! I'm not going any further until you tell me what is waiting for me around that corner. Does that guy think I like little girls or something?" he screamed tearing at his hair even more.

At the end of his rant I couldn't help but break out in uncontrollable giggles. I grabbed my sides and rolled from side to side. This is hysterical.

Edward just crossed his arms and glowered at me. Refusing to see the humor in the situation.

"I'm waiting."

Finally I regained enough control to be able to answer.

"Edward you know the Cullens are a family right?

"Yeah so? I don't see how that has any bearing on"

I cut him off "Well Bella, you remember Bella right? The one you looked at like a kid whose just come home from fat camp looks at a triple layer fudge cake. Well anyway she is not only a member of that family she is in fact the baby."

Edward looked at me still confused. Maybe I lost him with the food analogy. Oh well.

"That vampire you saw in my vision. Yeah that's Carlisle, Bella's dad."

With that a look of shock crossed Edwards face only to be again replaced with confusion.

"But Alice, I haven't done anything. Why would he attack me? I thought the Cullens were peaceful and from what you've shown me Carlisle is the most peaceful of the bunch."

"Oh dear, clueless Edward." I said sarcastically, "Do you really think no one noticed how you and Bella were staring at one another? I mean really, you've seen into the minds of enough fathers to see that none of them want horny teenage boys looking at their baby girls like that."

"I'm not horny." Edward said pitifully. "Besides" he continued, "how would he know anything about how I looked at her? He wasn't there."

"You've really been distracted haven't you? Did you not overhear the conversation Rosalie was having on the phone? She told him everything, she's very observant and incredibly protective of Bella, they all are."

As I finished talking I had another vision. In this one Carlisle did not attack Edward but he didn't look too happy to see him. He had his arms crossed trying to look menacing while Esme kept her hand on his arm effectively keeping him in place. Bella was nowhere in sight.

Once my vision ended Edward visibly relaxed.

"See Edward, nothing to worry about. Your little freak out gave Esme enough time to calm Carlisle down so that he doesn't kill you." I chirped happily. "Now, onward ho!"

Edward threw me a disbelieving glance but got the car back on the road. After a few more minutes we turned down a hidden driveway toward the Cullen house.

Within a matter of moments that felt like eternity, we pulled up in front of a grand white house. It was three stories and beautifully restored. Surrounding it were primordial elms and breathtaking landscaping. It was even better than in my visions and standing out front waiting for us was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. My new family and most importantly, Jasper.

It may be cliché but at that moment nothing else mattered. There was nothing else in this world more important than the man standing in front of me and I couldn't help but begin to sing the most fitting love song I could think of in my head as I slowly emerged from the car and made my way over to my future.

At last, my love has come along  
My lonely days are over  
And life is like a song  
Oh, yeah, at last  
The skies above are blue  
My heart was wrapped up in clovers  
The night I looked at you  
I found a dream that I could speak to  
A dream that I can call my own  
I found a thrill to rest my cheek to  
A thrill that I have never known  
Oh, yeah when you smile, you smile  
Oh, and then the spell was cast  
And here we are in heaven  
For you are mine  
At last


	6. Vampire

**Disclaimer: I'm not Stephanie Meyer so Twilight doesn't belong to me.**

EPOV

As I stepped out of the car I couldn't help but be a little apprehensive. I mean who wouldn't be right? I did just witness a vision of my future in which I was pulled from my car and slowly disemboweled by a lunatic, something that could make anyone feel a little uncomfortable.

As I slowly made my way round the front of the car I couldn't help but watch Alice's face. I've never seen her so happy. She's convinced that this Jasper is her soul mate and that he will accept her unconditionally for who she is but I'm not so sure.

In my opinion, Alice and I would be very hard for anyone, especially the Cullens, to love. We have done and seen so many horrible things in our time and the Cullens are so… wholesome. Is that the word I'm looking for?

From what I've witnessed in Alice's visions, they strive to control their inner monsters and succeed on a daily basis even managing to live and work amongst the humans. I'm not sure I will ever have the strength to be as good as they are. I am and always have been, a monster.

I just hope that Alice's visions of her future prove me wrong. If anyone deserves happiness it's her and she would be crushed if Jasper, or the Cullens for that matter, were to reject her.

I pulled myself out of my musings at that moment to take in the scene before me. Standing on the steps of what can only be described as a mansion, stood the Cullens looking like a mixture between a scene right out of Leave It to Beaver and some sort of sick horror flick.

Carlisle and Esme stood on the top step with their arms around each other looking every part the loving parents, a little young but still perfect. Below them stood the big one, Emmett, I think his name is, and Jasper. Both looked the part of the All-American boys I have seen portrayed in the movies so often over the decades. What gave this scene a horror movie feel were the thoughts, mostly Carlisle's.

_Look at him all sauntery and cool. Well he's not so hot! He's got… well he's got stupid hair. Yeah, right, stupid hair. My Bella would never be interested in someone with such stupid hair. Right? Right. Of course she wouldn't. My baby girl has standards and this doofus is certainly not good enough for her. No one is. If he even so much as looks at her I'll kill him. But how to do it? Humm, I'll have to make it look like an accident. Yes an accident. Maybe I can lure him into the woods and just set the whole place on fire. Hell I'll set the whole state of Washington on fire if I have to. Yeah that could work. I'm going to need gasoline, lots and lots of gasoline…_

Okay. I quickly pulled myself out of Carlisle's thoughts. Note to self, don't go into the woods alone with this guy. Alice was wrong he's not just really overprotective of Bella, he's crazy. Besides is sauntery even a word and what's with everyone referring to me as a doofus?

Next I switched to Esme's thoughts. She was smiling warmly at us and thankfully her thoughts weren't psychotic like her husband's. Plus she didn't seem to have any problem with my hair. In fact her thoughts were very encouraging and quite sweet.

_Well they look peaceful enough. I really hope they do want to join our family. I would love to have two more children and if they're half as interested in Bella and Jasper as Rosalie says, maybe someday they'll feel the same way. They've both been alone for so long, I would give anything for them to have even half the amount of love in their lives that Carlisle and have._

After giving Esme a quick smile for her kind thoughts, I switched to Emmett wanting to see whether I need to watch my back around him like I do around Carlisle. What I got was, well, it was strange.

_I am a vampire  
I am a vampire  
I am a vampire  
I am a vampire  
I am a vampire  
Vampire  
I am a vampire  
I have lost my fangs_

I am a vampire  
I am a vampire  
I am a vampire  
I have lost my fangs

So I'm sad and I feel lonely  
So I cry and I'm very angry  
And I hate some garlic  
So I'm so no more sad and  
Ache yeah yeah

I am a vampire and I am looking in the city  
Pretty girls don't look at me  
Don't look at me  
Cause I don't have my fangs  
But I have lost my fangs

I am a vampire  
I am a vampire  
I have lost my mouth again  
I am a vampire  
I am a vampire  
I have lost my mouth again

So I get bone and I shred  
So I eat popcorn and I lose the weight  
And I sing with my best good-looking  
And I want to play the guitar  
But my guitar is out of tune  
I am a vampire  
I am looking in the cd  
And the musical don't play with me  
Don't play with me

Because I don't play with my mouse again  
And I have lost my mouse again

I couldn't hide the amusement or my confusion from showing up on my face. Maybe something went wrong with his transformation? I have never encountered thoughts like this from anyone other than Alice when she's trying to block her thoughts from me and a few mental patients I have encountered over the years and even they've got nothing on this guy. Maybe crazy runs in the family?

I saved Jasper for last afraid of what I might hear since Alice was now standing happily in front of him singing Etta James' At Last in her head. I had my fingers crossed that he would feel even a tenth of the draw to her as she does to him.

_Oh. My. God. She's beautiful! I just want to run to her and tell her she's the one I've been waiting for but no, she'll think I'm crazy. Maybe I should say hello? Right . Hello I'm Jasper and I love you. No, that won't do either..._

At this I couldn't keep the grin off of my face, Alice has nothing to worry about. She was right, as usual, he is her soul mate. Now if only I could get a glimpse of my beautiful Bella.

Just the thought of her makes me weak in the knees. I hope she'll he happy to see me but she and Rosalie aren't waiting for us with the rest of their family. In fact come to think of it, I can smell that they were here recently but it seems they've gone. Maybe she doesn't like me. What if I disgust her and she's trying to get away from me? Ugh my life sucks!

Esme continued to smile warmly at us and apparently seeing that Carlisle seemed to be unable to pull himself away from plotting my murder she spoke up.

"Alice and Edward, welcome to our home. I'm Esme and this is my husband Carlisle and these are my sons, Emmett and Jasper. I'm sorry my daughters couldn't be here, they had some business to take care of."

_If you call being sent to the next town by your crazy father to keep you away from a boy business._

Oh thank god, maybe she doesn't hate me. Her dad sent her off to keep her away from me. Not really comforting but at least from the sound of it, it wasn't her idea to go. Maybe I do have a chance. That is if Carlisle doesn't strap me to a burning gasoline tanker like he's thinking about now.

"Rosalie and Bella informed us that you are both vegetarians and interested in meeting us. Would you like to come inside and tell us more about yourselves?"

"Thank you Esme that sounds lovely." Answered Alice dreamily still making goo-goo eyes at Jasper.

With that Esme flashed us another smile and visibly forcing Carlisle to turn, she opened the front door and ushered us all inside.

The Cullen house was beautifully decorated in neutral tones. It was evident that whoever had decorated spared no attention to detail. What caught my attention though was Bella's intoxicating scent. It was everywhere and I just wanted to drown in it.

Esme led us to the parlor and invited us to sit. She and Carlisle sat on the couch while Emmett and I sat in the armchairs leaving Alice and Jasper to sit together on the loveseat. Judging from both of their thoughts, this was not an unwelcome situation for either of them.

"So " started Esme, "tell us about yourselves. Rosalie mentioned that you are both part of the Volturi and that Alice can apparently see the future? "

"Ah yes." I answered, " Well actually we are no longer a part of the Volturi guard. You see Alice and I never really agreed with their way of doing things nor could we stomach their dietary choices any longer so we, for lack of a better term, quit."

At this Carlisle seemed to regain some amount of sanity and pulled himself out of a daydream involving myself and a vat of boiling oil, to question me further unable to reign in his curiosity.

"You 'quit' the Volturi? How is that possible? No one 'quits' the Volturi." He stated matter-of-factly. "And you say you didn't agree with their dietary choices. By that I assume you mean hunting humans. What made you decide to change your hunting habits? It is very rare for a vampire to attempt a lifestyle like our own, in fact we know of only one other coven who feed as we do."

Alice seemed to come alive at this round of questioning and piped up before I could answer.

"What Edward means is that we um, walked out on the Volturi. It's quite an interesting story actually. You see with my ability to see the future and Edward's ability to read minds it was really only a matter of time until"

Alice was suddenly cut off by a very excited Emmett who had begun to bounce in his seat in a very Alice like fashion. The only difference is that when Alice does it it's annoying but kind of cute, when Emmett does it it's just plain weird.

"Dude you can read minds? That is so awesome! Can you tell what I'm thinking right now?"

_Hello this is Emmett speaking, can you hear me? Over._

"Uh yes I can hear you Emmett, over." I answered dryly.

My lack of enthusiasm went unnoticed by Emmett as he began to inundate me with thoughts of pranks he could pull with my help, not needing to worry about anyone overhearing his master plans.

Alice ignored our exchange and went right on talking.

"Anyway like I was saying, it was only a matter of time before we figured out how to change our diets. We had discussed it for sometime but until a few months ago we weren't sure that it was possible to survive on anything other than human blood."

Alice continued to tell our story while I went back to admiring the Cullen's house and reveling in Bella's scent. A flash of light in the corner of my eye caught my attention. I turned my head and saw a beautiful baby grand sitting on a raised platform in the corner. My fingers began to tingle. I love to play piano and this beautiful instrument was just begging for my touch. I wonder if Bella likes the piano, I would love to play for her.

"Well", said Esme catching my attention, "it would seem you both have had quite the adventure getting to us and I for one am very glad that you are here. It would be an honor if you would accept our invitation to stay here as long as you wish."

Judging from Carlisle's thoughts he was less than thrilled by his wife's invitation but dared not say anything so he just nodded somberly.

Even thought I was still scared of what he might have in mind for me it would be a lie to say I wasn't ecstatic to have not only a new home away from the Volturi but also a chance to be near Bella so it wasn't hard for me to make a decision knowing that Alice would agree with me wholeheartedly.

"Thank you so much for your hospitality Esme, Carlisle. Alice and I would be honored to accept your invitation to stay."

Esme's smile grew even bigger as she began to plan the design for our new bedrooms while again thinking about Bella and Jasper's happiness. Meanwhile, Emmett was still in this own world plotting outlandish pranks and Alice and Jasper were now staring into one another's eyes, lost in thoughts of love. Suddenly Alice screamed.

"Alice what's wrong? What was that?" I couldn't help but shout. She had just had a vision and in it Bella's future had suddenly gone black.

"It's Bella, she's gone!" Alice moaned, "Her future, it's just gone blank."

**I'll give you one guess as to why Bella's future has just gone blank but you may be surprised at what happens next. Thank you guys so much for your support. This is my first fan fic and your reviews mean a lot to me so please, please review. Also the song Vampire is by Antsy Pants.**

**Thanks,**

**XOXO**

**Bellarella**


	7. Hungry Like The Wolf

Hungry Like The Wolf

**Disclaimer: Twilight no belong to me**

BPOV

I have never been so mortified in my entire life and that's saying a lot since I have been around for two-hundred and seventy-three years.

My father is a nut job and apparently so is the rest of my family. I don't know what's gotten into them they used to be so normal. Okay so they were never normal but at least they weren't completely out of their heads most of the time. Well except Emmett but he's a special case.

After getting off the phone with Carlisle, Rosalie had put her car to the test and made it back to Forks in record time leaving Alice and Edward in the proverbial dust. The entire ride she refused to answer any of my questions which I'm embarrassed to say, turned into whiny demands for answers by the time we hit the Clallam County line.

As soon as we turned onto our driveway I was suddenly pulled out the top of the car and whisked into the house at vampire speed. I barely had time to register that it was Jasper who had snatched me before I suddenly found myself alone locked in the attic. I mean seriously the attic, who are they kidding? I'm not Cinderella.

Without any effort on my part, I somehow managed to open the attic door and make my back downstairs in time to hear the tail end of an argument between my parents. Apparently my dad had gone completely mental and was trying to convince Esme that we should burn the house down and run before that delinquent bastard gets here.

Sadly Esme was really the only one opposed to this plan. For some reason Emmett, Jasper, and even Rosalie were all pretty much on the same page as Carlisle.

"What is your problem?" I shouted over all the arguing.

"Bella" said Carlisle slowly turning toward me wearing quite a guilty expression, "I thought you were upstairs. How did you get down here?"

I couldn't help but give him a look that said 'you're an idiot' before I found the appropriate words necessary to answer such a mind boggling question.

"Well" I said slowly so as not to lose any of the geniuses in the room by talking too fast or using any second grade challenge words , "me vampire. Me strong, locks no hold me."

"Bella" Jasper scolded sounding annoyed, "what Carlisle means to say is why you are down here? I put you upstairs for a reason. Now if you'll kindly return to your room we have some important decisions to make that"

I cut him off there, irate that I was being treated like a child. I may be the youngest in my family, having been changed when I was only seventeen but I am the second oldest in this life, younger only than Carlisle.

"Why am I down here? Why am I down here? Because there is no reason for me to be locked in the attic that's why! I am not a child, I am a part of this family and I should not be treated as such. And FYI I don't live in the attic!"

"Bella" said Rosalie calmly, "we're just doing what's best for you. Please just go upstairs and let us do what we need to in order to ensure your safety."

"No!" I shouted completely losing my cool, "I will not. I want to be included in what's going on. I think we should hear what Alice and Edward have to say. They may be a little strange but they haven't tried to harm us and I think we should see why they've come."

"I'm with Bella" said Esme firmly. "These newcomers have done nothing wrong other than supposedly look at Bella with interest and who wouldn't? She's a beautiful girl. Besides Carlisle, you don't threaten to burn down the house and slowly dismember every human male that looks at her so why should this be any different?"

"It just, it just is." Was all Carlisle managed to get out before being silenced by Esme's glare.

She was like an angry mama bear and I was her cub. It was comforting to know she was willing to fight for me no matter what. Too bad the warm fuzzies I was getting from mama bear were quickly replaced with outrage once Rosalie opened her big dumb mouth.

"Bella" said Rosalie haughtily, "you're only seventeen. You don't know what you want."

At this comment Emmett's eyes nearly popped out of his head and even Carlisle and Jasper ceased their arguing to turn and stare at us with their mouths wide open knowing that she had crossed the line into no man's land. I felt the fury build inside of me until suddenly it exploded.

"Only seventeen. Really Rosalie am I only seventeen?" I growled, "I was unaware of that fact, thank you for clueing me in because I am not reminded of it by all of you every damn day! It's not my fault I'm stuck at seventeen for eternity. I am sick and tired of being treated like a little kid being left out of every major decision for the past ninety years. I haven't been a child for over two-hundred and fifty years for Christ's sake and I demand some respect!"

I paused to take an unneeded breath and was about to continue on my tirade when I was suddenly hit by a wave of extreme calm and lethargy. I shot Jasper a venomous glare before collapsing on the floor completely unable to move.

I felt myself being loaded back into Rosalie's car but I was still unable to move. Jasper had hit me with enough calm and lethargy that were I still human my heart would have ceased to beat. The further we got away from Jasper's influence the more control I gained over my limbs until I was mobile again and able to sit up in the backseat.

"Bells" Rosalie began, "I'm sorry but this is for your own good."

"Don't Bells me Rosalie. This is ridiculously unfair and you know it! Turn around and take me back." I growled.

"I'm sorry Bella you know I can't do that."

"Fine then, have it your way." I snapped before jumping out of the car and taking off in the opposite direction.

I briefly considered just running back home but I knew that Jasper would just knock me out again. Instead I made up my mind to go where none of my family would follow. I turned and headed for the La Push treaty line.

La Push was the one place none of my family members dared go. Many years ago we had made a treaty with the wolves and it was not a peace we were eager to break. The treaty stated that we are allowed to live peacefully among the humans and the wolves would agree to keep our secret so long as we agreed not to cross onto Quileute lands or to bite a human.

What none of them knew was that I had been coming and going from La Push since we first arrived in Washington. In fact the treaty doesn't even apply to me and I am free to come and go as I please.

After I cleared the treaty line I slowed to a walk knowing that there would be no way Rosalie would follow me this far. By now she had probably gone back home to alert my family to my daring escape.

As I made my way through the woods surrounding La Push I began to feel a familiar presence ghosting my every move. I continued to walk into town on my way to First Beach allowing the presence to catch up to me. I smelled him before I heard him. He had an earthy wet dog smell that was hard to ignore.

As soon as he got close enough I could hear him singing out of tune and I couldn't help but to let out a snort as I heard what it was that he was singing.

Dark in the city, night is a wire  
Steam in the subway, earth is a fire  
Woman you want me, give me a sign  
And catch my breathing even closer behind

In touch with the ground  
I'm on the hunt I'm after you  
Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd  
And I'm hungry like the wolf  
Straddle the line, in discord and rhyme  
I'm on the hunt I'm after you  
Mouth is alive with juices like wine  
And I'm hungry like the wolf

Stalked in the forest, too close to hide  
Ill be upon you by the moonlight side  
High blood drumming on your skin it's so tight  
You feel my heart, I'm just a moment behind

"Holy crap Jake, you have got to be kidding. Please tell me you are not stalking me while singing Duran Duran."

"Fine I won't tell you. What's kickin' v-girl?"

"Just escaping the parental units and I thought I'd come see you McGruff."

"McGruff?"

"Yeah McGruff the crime dog. You know protecting the rez from the likes of me and my bad self, not to mention my posse of deer hunters."

Jake was trying to keep a straight face and failing miserably.

"You know I'm funny."

"Yeah Bells you're a real crack up with the dog jokes."

"Hey" I countered, "I wasn't the one singing Hungry Like the Wolf. You brought this on yourself."

Jake just rolled his eyes and changed the subject.

"So Bells to what do we owe this honor?"

"Like I said I'm hiding from the fam. They've really gone off the deep end this time. In fact I may need to move in, permanently."

"I knew it. It was only a matter of time before you saw the light and came banging at my door. Everyone wants a piece of this." He said making his pectorals dance.

Seeing Jacob act like that made me laugh so hard I fell off of the log I was sitting on and began rolling on the beach holding my sides as I shook with laughter. After I finally calmed down I was able to drag myself back up to my seat on the log beside Jake.

"Seriously Jake is that really how someone you age should act? I mean you're what, six-hundred, seven-hundred years old now? Don't you think it's time you grew up? I mean who in your pack is really going to believe that you're really Taha Aki great spirit warrior if you keep acting like this?"

Jake gave me a hurt look and crossed his arms. "Hey it's not my fault if I'm unable to mature any further. I would grow old like the rest of my pack if I could but you know that's not possible so like you I'm stuck. Besides I'm mature when I need to be" he pouted.

Listening to Jake's only served to remind me of the argument I had had with Rosalie only about an hour before. I hugged my legs and put my head on my knees and groaned.

"What's wrong Bells?" Jake asked concerned.

"it's just that what you said reminded me of why I'm here."

I proceeded to catch Jake up to speed on the Alice and Edward situation as well as what had happened with my family. Jacob listened patiently asking only a few questions and letting me get it all off my chest.

"So what do you think of these new vampires Bella? Are they something the pack and I need to be alert for or are you guys going to be able to handle them?"

I sighed, "I think they'll be fine. The little one Alice seems kind of strange but not dangerous and Edward, well he's too hot to be bad."

Jacob laughed and shook his head disbelievingly, "Too hot to be bad? Bella you've got it bad. I've never heard you say that about anyone, ever, not even about me and girl, I'm on fire!" With that Jake jumped up and began to do a fire dance flexing his muscles and hooting like there was no tomorrow.

Jacob's happiness was infectious. I couldn't help but feel better after talking to him. I guess that's what best friends are for even if they are a little unusual.

Jake and I met two-hundred years ago when Carlisle and I first came to the United States. We had headed to the west coast knowing that very few people had made it that far west since the Lewis and Clark Expedition had only just finished.

One day when I was out hunting alone, I came across a child who had been injured in a bear attack. He had been out hunting alone for the first time and had gotten lost just before the bear had found him. I managed to overcome my blood lust and carry him back to his village, La Push.

When I had entered the village I was surprised to find my way blocked my giant wolves ready to attack. After a tense standoff during which time the child's condition had gotten worse, the largest wolf went into the bushes and returned as a man.

The man told me that he knew of my kind but that he had never seen one of us resist the temptation of freshly spilt blood and he had certainly never seen one of us put our lives on the line to save a human life.

After assuring him that I meant him and his people no harm, I handed him the injured child and turned to go. Before I left he praised my actions and thanked me for saving his son. In return for my kindness he promised me the eternal friendship of both himself and his people.

That man was Taka Aki, my Jacob.

Carlisle and I left the Olympic Peninsula several days later for New York and didn't return for another hundred years. When we moved back to the area we again encountered the wolves but this time it was the rest of my family who met them this time as I was away at school.

The wolves had caught my family hunting on their lands but with Carlisle's quick thinking they were able to negotiate the treaty. I later learned from Jacob that the only thing that had stopped the wolves from attacking immediately had been the color of my family's eyes, golden as mine are due to my diet. It was this that saved them. I had never told my family about my run in with the wolves, assuming they were long gone by the time we moved back, so imagine my surprise when I found that not only did they still exist but from the sounds of it Taha Aki was still their leader.

Eventually I was able to sneak away from my family to investigate for myself. I was met at the line but a familiar looking russet colored wolf. Once he was me he ran into the bushed and changed back into a man who welcomed me to his lands whole heartedly. From that moment on Jacob and I were the best of friends.

He had found that he is unable to age or die unlike the rest of the pack. When they cease phasing they begin to age at a normal rate again allowing them to grow old with their loved ones. Sadly the same was not true for Jacob. He had been forced to watch all of his loved ones age and die. He was the first of his tribe to shift into a wolf actually sharing his body with one turning from human into spirit warrior. All the rest of the wolves who could shift were his descendants, carrying the gene to shift but being born human. Because of this as far as we knew Jacob was not ageing at all, just like me, something we lamented about regularly.

After meeting back up with Taha Aki in the forest I learned that he had begun going by Jacob, a name that was more with the times as it were. Only the members of the pack know that he is Taha Aki the Great Wolf since he wasn't sure how his people would react to the news that all of their legends about shape shifters and vampires are true and that he is over six-hundred years old.

My family still doesn't know about my relationship with Jacob and the rest of the pack. We thought it best to keep them out of the loop seeing how overprotective of me they can get. It also gave me a place to escape too when things got to be too much, like now. The only inconvenient part of this is that every time I visit I have to make sure to change my clothes and scrub myself well to get the smell of the wolves off of me so that no one catches on.

Once Jake finished his sexy fire dance he began to build a bon fire so that we could hang out on the beach without raising suspicions about why we weren't wearing jackets as the sun had begun to set and the temperature had begun to drop, making it uncomfortable for humans.

The fire had really just gotten going when Seth, one of Jacob's pack members ran up.

"Jacob!" he shouted out of breath, "there's trouble at the treaty line! The Cullens are all there and dude, they're pissed. They tracked Bella's scent and they think we attacked her. You've got to get there quick before the shit hits the fan."

Jake and I exchanged a quick glance before taking off for the woods with Seth hot on our tail. It was maddening having to move at a human pace until we hit the tree line where Seth and Jacob quickly phased not bothering to remove their clothing first meaning that if they have to phase back to talk they will be naked, not good. If my dad was freaking out before he is going to go completely mental when he finds out I've been hanging out with giant wolves that turn into very large, very naked men.

As we neared the treaty line I could hear my family's shouts mingled with the barks and growls of the pack. Oh shit, I'm dead.

When we finally emerged I was met with a very angry family, an upset looking Alice, and a very amused looking Edward looking even hotter than the last time I saw him if that's possible. Everyone just stared at me in shock for a fraction of a second before the screaming began.

I turned to Jake and whispered in his ear. "There is a lighter in my pocket, just burn me now, I am so dead."

Jacob gave me a wolfy grin before he turned and ran into the woods to phase emerging moments later wearing only his birthday suit apparently wanting to speak for the pack.

Could my life get any more complicated?

* * *

**Please, please review and tell me what you think. Like I've said before, this is my first fan fic and your reviews are greatly appreciated. The next chapter will be focused more on Bella and Edward I promise!**

**XOXO**

**Bellarella**


	8. Somebody Kill Me Please

Somebody Kill Me Please

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine so please stop insisting that I take the credit and the money okay. I mean geeze.**

BPOV

As Jacob walked out of the woods wearing nothing but a smile, the shouting and growls stopped. Suddenly it was quiet, too quiet. That is before my dad lost his shit and went completely postal.

"Cullen Marie Swan Isabella!" he screamed incoherently, his eyes rolling wildly in his head. "Aaaahhhhh!!!!!!" he screamed trying to throw his body toward me and presumably my naked compadre.

Luckily Jasper and Emmett were able to grab him and hold on before he could move much more than an inch. I looked toward the heavens and pleaded silently, 'for the love of all this is good and holy in this world, somebody kill me, please'.

Normally at that moment, the wolves' instincts would be demanding that they attack or at least raise their hackles in response to the perceived threat their mortal enemy, namely my father, was making. Fortunately for my father, they were just as stunned as everyone else and didn't seem to know how to to my dad's freak out.

I quickly glanced mortified around at my family. Esme had averted her eyes from Jacob and his nakedness, Rosalie looked completely disgusted, and Jasper and Emmett were too busy holding Carlisle back to show much emotion.

I chanced a look over at the Masens, glad to see that my family hadn't slaughtered them where they stood when they had arrived, only to see that Alice looked thoughtful. Weird. I saved Edward for last, afraid of what I might see on his all too beautiful face. Would he run screaming from me and my freaklicious family? I really hope not, he was so darn good looking I would love to keep him around for awhile, at least as eye candy.

I gazed on the living Adonis and saw that Edward looked, angry. Why would he be angry? This was just too confusing.

Carlisle started yelling again, snapping me out of my silent contemplations, this time more coherently than before. The fact that he was even making sense at this point made it obvious that Jasper was desperately trying to emit calming waves but Carlisle seemed to be too far gone for them to be doing much good at this point.

"Bella, what so you think you're doing? You've broken the treaty! Do you understand me missy? Broken the treaty! Now get over here before one of those dogs rends you limb from limb!"

As soon as he was done Jacob stepped forward with his hands held out in front of him trying to look nonthreatening. I just wished he would put his hands down to cover himself and at least feign modesty but no, god hates me too much for that.

"Now Carlisle" Jake began calmly.

"That's Dr. Cullen to you." He spat acidly.

"Okay, Dr Cullen. I assure you that Bella is completely safe. If you would just calm down and let me explain. "

"Explain. Explain? Alright dog, why don't you explain to me why just today my sweet little girl has jumped out of a moving vehicle, crossed the treaty line in essence declaring war between us, and why she is now apparently keeping the company of overgrown dogs and naked freaks."

Jake looked at me for help, obviously at a loss for words so I decided to try to defuse the situation as calmly as possible and so squaring my shoulders, I pulled the Daddy card.

"Now Daddy" I said giving him my best pout, even going so far as to widen my eyes innocently and feign tears, "Jakey is my best friend, he and his pack would never ever hurt me, they're my only friends and you don't want me to be" I let out a shuddering sob before continuing, "lonely, do you Daddy?"

I bit my lip and continued to look as pitiful as possible. Internally I was cursing the fact that vampires can't cry real tears. Dammit that would be so useful right about now.

Apparently tears were not necessary as I saw Carlisle slump dejectedly in Emmet and Jasper's arms, hanging his head in defeat.

"Bella, sweetie. You know that's not true. I just want you to be safe and..."

"Are you saying I don't know what's safe? Daddy I am always careful." I batted my eyes innocently giving an Emmy award worth performance.

Okay so I knew I wasn't playing fairly but really this was the only way.

"But Bella the treaty…"

I looked to Jake and he took my cue.

"Actually Dr. Cullen, the treaty hasn't been broken."

Carlisle's head shot up, giving Jake a confused look. "Explain."

Okay good, it would appear that my father's psychotic break was over, for now at least. God help me when I got home.

"Ah well you see" Jake began rubbing the back of his neck abashedly, "Bella has always been exempt from the rules of the treaty. We trust her whole heartedly, it's the rest of you bloodsuckers we're not so sure about."

With a quick nod of encouragement on my part Jacob launched into the story of how we met and continued relating the story until he got to present day.

"So you see Dr. Cullen Bella has always been, and always will be, safe with us."

"Ah ha." Said Carlisle slowly, obviously absorbing all the new information and hopefully choosing his next words carefully. "Well if that's true and Bella if you're sure that this is safe, then I guess your mother and I are going to have to trust your judgment and allow this, provided there are some ground rules."

"Such as clothes on at all times!" Esme piped up.

"Back the smurf up!" Emmett yelled, "Are you telling me you're going to allow our Bella to associate unprotected with these mutts?"

"It would seem so." Rosalie answered throwing death glares at all present.

Jasper shook his head in disbelief, "Carlisle, Esme. You know I trust you but are you really sure this is wise? Given our past with the wolves I really think…"

"You think what leech?" Jacob countered, "That we would go back on our word and harm Bella? Are you insinuating that we have no honor?"

At that moment I knew I had to step in before the situation got even more out of hand. It hadn't escaped my notice that once Emmett had spoken up the pack had begun to respond aggressively to my family's continued presence.

"Ah hem" I cleared my throat unnecessarily to get everyone's attention. "I believe that we should continue this conversation some other time." Preferably half past never. "Jake, thank you for everything. I believe I will be taking my family home with me now and I suggest you do the same."

Jake nodded his head in agreement not breaking eye contact with Jasper for a moment.

"I'll call you later and let you know if I've survived" I whispered low enough that I knew only he would hear me.

Nodding at me Jacob gave a silent signal to the pack and they all retreated hesitantly back into the woods, Jake being the last one to disappear.

Once they were gone I grimaced before turning and walked toward my family with a sheepish grin.

"Hey guys. So um I guess the uh wolfs out of the bag then." I mentally bitch slapped myself for my poor attempt at humor.

Esme strode forward angrily and grabbed me by the ear. "Isabella Cullen I was worried sick! Do you have any idea how worried I was when your future disappeared from Alice's vision young lady? Do you?"

"Sorry." I squeaked. Too bad for me calling Esme Mommy would have no effect whatsoever. I was helpless in her grasp.

Esme dragged me the rest of the way home by my ear at a human pace scolding me the entire way. It was humiliating. I was just glad the Masens and the rest of my family had run ahead so Edward wasn't present to witness my shame.

By the time we arrived home Esme had finally released my ear and had stopped scolding me for my rash behavior. I had got off pretty lightly only being grounded from driving my Corvette ZR1 for a month. I could live with that.

Walking into the house my mind went back to the Masens. I wondered what had transpired when they had shown up. Obviously they had survived, I was fairly certain that they would with Esme on my side, but I had been taken aback to see them with my family at the treaty line. Maybe things had gone better than expected.

I walked distractedly toward my room only to have a pair of pants thrown in my face when I entered the doorway. Pulling them away from my face I was shocked to find Alice putting all of my things in boxes and throwing massive amounts of my clothes out the door.

"Hey!" I complained, "What's the big idea? This is my room and that's my stuff. What do you think you're doing?"

Alice looked up at me momentarily to answer before throwing more clothes out the door. "I'm moving in. What does it look like silly?"

"Mmmoving in?" I stuttered.

"Yeah Bells" said Rose coming up behind me. "Esme invited them to stay with us, indefinitely."

"Um okay." I said slowly turning back to Alice, "That still doesn't explain why you're in my room, packing up my stuff, and throwing my clothes out the door."

"Well Bella it's actually very simple." Alice said cheerfully while dancing across the room with a pile of my books. "You have the biggest closet and I have far more clothes than you do so Esme gave me this room. Don't worry I've packed all of your things carefully into these boxes so the boys can move them to your new room."

"But what about my clothes?" I asked in disbelief.

"Oh well I packed everything that was salvageable which sadly, wasn't much. Everything else I'm getting rid of, you really can't be seen in public in those rags. Tomorrow we'll go shopping and get you some more suitable clothing."

I was about to blow my lid. Who did she think she was coming in here taking my room and insulting my clothes? After all I've done for her, standing up to my family. I was about to let her have it when Emmett came jogging down the hall, tossed me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and took me upstairs to the third floor.

He dropped me unceremoniously on the floor in the hallway.

"Emmett" I seethed, "what do you think you're doing?'

"Now Bella. You should know better than to talk to me like that by now. Need I remind you of Easter '57?"

I shuddered involuntarily as images of large pink bunnies, engorged Peeps, and pole dancing ducks flashed before my eyes.

"I didn't think so." He said smugly. " Anyway I was just taking you to your new room like Esme asked me to."

"But Em the third floor? We never use the third floor. Why am I being stranded here all alone? Is this because Jasper thinks I live in the attic?"

Emmett just shrugged, "Don't know , just doin' what I'm told. And as to why Jasper thinks you live in the attic I have no idea. Maybe it's because you're so pale and ghostly. Maybe you should try a tanning bed. Or even a spray on tan, I hear they're pretty good."

Rosalie had come upstairs carrying some of my boxes in time to hear Emmett suggest I try tanning. She slapped him upside the head for his stupidity.

"She's a vampire Emmett, she's supposed to me pale. In fact we're all vampires in case you haven't noticed, meaning we're all pale. Tanning doesn't work."

Emmett turned and made his way downstairs to retrieve some of my boxes mumbling to himself as he went about how he was just trying to give some beauty tips and how we were just rejecting them unfairly because he's male.

Rosalie gave me a withering look before pushing past me to open the nearest door. Apparently to my new bedroom.

"Well here it is." She said turning to me. "It's actually bigger than your old room if that's any consolidation."

"I know Rose. I've known that since we moved in but the reason I chose a room downstairs was so that I wouldn't been completely cut off from everyone all the time. I mean I like solitude but right now I feel like Quasimodo, forced to live in the bell tower."

"Bella don't be so overdramatic" said Esme coming in with another armload of my possessions. "Besides you won't be up here alone, Edward's moving in to the next bedroom. You actually have a door connecting your room to his. You can just open it if you get lonely."

At that moment I wasn't sure whether to begin throwing back flips or to run right back to La Push screaming sanctuary.

Not only were the Masens moving into my house but Edward, incredibly gorgeous, makes Bella weak in the knees Edward, was going to be sharing not only a floor but a door connecting our bedrooms. Be still my dead unbeating heart. Thankfully no one noticed my minor freak out.

Moving at vampire speed we were able to move all of my things upstairs to my room in a matter of minutes. After everything was present and accounted for, including my Alice rejected clothing, I set about putting my things away.

I had just finished putting the last of my books on the shelves when I heard a knock at my door. I opened it only to find a slightly disheveled looking Edward grinning nervously back at me.

"Hello. ___I'm sorry I didn't get to introduce myself_ last time, ___I'm Edward Masen_, you're Bella."

God his voice was so sexy. It had a smooth velvety texture. Wait can a sound even have a texture? Well if any sound can have a texture it's the sound of his voice. It gives me chills.

I noticed Edward looking at me funny and realized I hadn't answered him.

"Oh right, sorry, yes I'm Bella. It's a pleasure to finally meet you properly Edward."

I held out my hand to shake his but the moment we touched I felt a jolt of electricity course through my body and let go with a hiss. Edward had also jumped back with a hiss and was now looking at me curiously.

"Well that was, odd." He said with a nod toward my hand. "You don't perhaps have a special ability that allows you to conduct electrical current do you?' He asked hopefully.

"No", I said slowly, "my cousin Kate has that ability. I've never had that happen before."

"Oh." He looked around uncomfortably obviously unsure of what else to say to this surprising turn of events.

I decided to try and break the ice. "So speaking of abilities, do you have one?"

"Um yes" he said looking slightly nervous, "I can read minds. That is I can read every mind in this house apart from yours. That's very frustrating. "

"Is there something wrong with me?"

"I tell you I can read minds and you think there is something wrong with you?" he let out a disbelieving laugh.

I just shrugged. So sue me if I don't want to be the odd one out all the time.

"So Bella do you have any special abilities, other than driving your father completely insane, jumping out of moving vehicles, and making friends with werewolves?" Edward asked with a crooked smirk that made me feel like jelly.

"Oh ha, ha, very funny. Actually I'm a shield. I mentioned my cousin Kate's ability to conduct electric current earlier, well it doesn't work on me. Neither do Aro or many of the rest of Volturi's abilities last I knew. Of course it has been about ninety years since I was last in Volterra."

Edward stared at me with his mouth hanging open for a good minute before I couldn't take it anymore.

"What?"

"It's just that. Bella how did you get away from the Volturi? If you're power is as strong as you say, you would have been very interesting to Aro and the brothers, they didn't force you to join the guard?"

"No. I mean they asked but I simply said no thank you and told them I wanted to continue my way of life and I didn't think being a member of the guard would allow me to do that. No big. Why?"

"And they just let you go? Just like that? And you're still here, I mean you're okay they haven't come for you?"

"What are you talking about? Of course they haven't come for me. I said no. Like I said, no big deal."

Suddenly Edward was across the room holding my hand in his while staring intently down at me, ignoring the electricity coursing through our bodies.

"It is a big deal. Bella, you don't just tell the Volturi no, not when they ask you to join the guard. I should know, I was a member of the guard for almost ninety years. One of our duties was hunting down vampires who had turned down the brothers and destroying them for ridiculous offenses and destroying them and their covens as a form of punishment."

I shook my head disbelievingly, this couldn't be true.

"No you're wrong. Aro wasn't mad. He saw that I wouldn't be happy on the guard and let me go."

"Bella you're wrong. You and your family are in danger."

"Why do you care? You don't even know me." I snapped getting annoyed.

"I... I feel very protective of you. Bella there's something special about you I just don't understand it. This," he said gesturing toward our hands trying to point out the electrical current running through us, "is not normal."

"While I admit that this," I motioned to our hands, "is abnormal. I think you're sadly mistaken. The Volturi are not waiting for me to slip up so they can hunt me and my family down. "

"But Bella" Edward began looking into my eyes beseechingly.

"No Edward. I think it's time you leave. I have a lot of unpacking to do as I'm sure you do."

After I had shut the door behind Edward I sank down to the floor grasping my knees and letting my head fall back. Why are all the hot ones crazy?

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**Sorry it took me so long to update, it was a crazy week and I had a horrible case of writer's block. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter out much faster than this one. Anyway please, please review! I like to know how you guys feel about where this story is going.**

**XOXO, **

**Bellarella**


	9. If You're Wondering If I Want You To

If You're Wondering If I Want You To, I Want You To

**Disclaimer: If only Twilight were mine, oh imagine the places we would go**

EPOV

We had been living with the Cullens for almost two months now and things between Bella and I were still strained.

I had picked up from the minds of the others that Bella thinks I'm crazy. Just my luck. I meet the girl of my dreams, move into the bedroom next to hers, and she thinks I'm a nut job. Terrific just terrific.

_Edward stop moping around your room and come downstairs, you've been up there for almost two days. Any longer and everyone is going to begin believing Bella when she says you're crazy._

"Thanks Alice, that's helpful." I answered in a normal tone knowing that wherever she was in the house she would hear me.

_You're welcome now get your butt down here. I had a vision that Bella would want to go hunting and you need to go with her. Now hurry._

I hastily made my way downstairs. I'd wanted to be alone with Bella for ages and this was my chance. Hopefully I won't screw things up, again.

I made it to the living room just as Bella bopped in from the kitchen. Apparently she was in a good mood. I couldn't help but stare. She was perfection. I loved the way her long mahogany hair rippled down the back of her tee shirt and framed her perfect heart shaped face with those ridiculously kissable lips. Uh what I would give just to be able to...

_Edward! Dial down the intensity okay. Just stay calm, the lust radiating off of you right now is intense and dude, that's my little sister._

I felt Jasper send me some calming waves as well a burst of confidence and I couldn't help but feel surer of myself. I flashed him a quick smile of thanks.

"Does anyone want to go hunting?" Bella chirped happily.

I saw Emmett look up from his video game, about to say something but Alice had obviously anticipated this and was ready for him.

"Hey Emmett, Jasper. How about a game of poker?" Alice asked sweetly pulling out a new deck of cards.

I couldn't help but give her a knowing smirk. It had become very obvious to the both of us that Jasper and Emmett could not refuse a bet and they loved to play poker. Little did they know Alice would spank them everytime. Something that tends to happen when you can see every move your opponent will make before they know themselves.

Emmett and Jasper's faces lit up like kids on Christmas morning.

"Was Manimal the best little known TV series the Sci-Fi channel ever cancelled before its time?" Emmett said jumping up from the couch excitedly throwing his controller down.

"Um actually, I have no idea." Alice answered looking confused for once.

"Alice, I think in Emmett's world that means yes." Said Jasper putting down his controller and coming up behind her.

Ever since we arrived Alice and Jasper have been nearly inseparable. Their relationship had taken off quickly just as Alice had foreseen. They complemented each other perfectly and I couldn't be happier for her. If anyone deserved love in their lives it was Alice.

"Oh well if no one wants to go…"said Bella with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"I'll go. I mean, that is if you don't mind."

Bella turned to me hesitantly, probably trying to decide whether she wanted to go hunting with me or not. I mentally slapped myself for actually allowing myself to hope she would be willing to be alone with me after our last failed conversation during which I freaked out on her about saying no to the Volturi.

Bella had avoided me like the plague for the past two months and who could blame her? Every time I tried to speak to her I've made myself look like a complete basket case. It doesn't help my case any that she probably sees me for the disgusting creature I truly am. In fact she's probably afraid of me and well, she should be, I am a monster and I always will be.

Bella still hadn't moved and a range of emotions were playing across her face.

_Well that's interesting..._ Jasper thought but didn't go any farther before beginning to imagine all the things he wanted to do with Alice. I quickly tuned out.

Realizing that Bella still hadn't answered, I sighed internally and began to turn to go back upstairs resigned to the fact that she would rather be alone than in my vile presence.

"Sure, I'd like that."

I froze, my right foot poised above the step, unable to comprehend the words that had just left her stunning mouth.

_Edward stop impersonating a statue and move god dammit! This is your chance, don't screw it up!!!_ Alice mentally screeched at me.

"Oh um I um ah okay then."

_Smooth Edward real smooth. Way to use your words._

"I mean great. Let's go." I moved to the door and held it open for Bella. "Ladies first."

Bella walked past me and I couldn't help but inhale her intoxicating scent as she did. She was truly addicting.

"So where are we running?" I asked once we reached the porch.

"Actually I wanted to take my car out for a spin if you don't mind. I know a pretty good hunting spot not far from here if you don't mind."

"Of course not." I said heading for her Jeep.

Suddenly Bella disappeared. I looked around wondering where she was when the roar of an engine broke the silence around the house. I whipped my head around just in time to see her come tearing out of the garage in an awesome metallic grey Corvette ZR1.

Mother of god.

I let out a low whistle. I had only ever seen Bella drive her slightly beat up old yellow Jeep, who knew she had something this beautiful hidden away in the recesses of the garage?

Bella let the car drift, sliding to a stop mere inches away me. Dear sweet baby Jesus she can drive too? That is so hot!

Bella rolled down the passenger side window and leaned across the console giving me a sly grin.

"Are you just going to stand there catching flies and looking pretty Masen or are you going to get in?"

I closed my mouth and shook my head trying to jump start my brain and so that I could at least try to come off as slightly cool. As I fully processed her words I couldn't stop the crooked grin that lit up my face when her words finally registered. She called me pretty.

"What?" she asked confused when I opened the door and turned to her with a shit eating grin still plastered on my face.

"It's nothing." I answered waving her off.

Bella gave me a disbelieving look before revving the engine and peeling out of the driveway toward the highway. She turned up the music and began to dance to the song on the radio.

I tried in vain not to openly stare at her but she was so perfect that it was nearly impossible.

To try to distract myself I thought back to how it felt touch her and I shivered with pleasure at the memory. The shock of electricity that ran through my body when I had touched her hand had stirred something deep within me and since then, every time I've seen Bella, a feeling of warmth has surged through me, emanating from the inside out. I hadn't quite figured out what the feeling is yet but I can't help but crave it.

I caught Bella looking at me out of the corner of her eye and she flicked her eyes quickly back to the road with the most adorably embarrassed look on her face. If she were still human she would certainly be blushing right now. I would give anything for just a glimpse into her mind, just to see what she thinks of me.

I decided to try to talk to her but she beat me to the punch.

"I'm glad you decided to come with me Edward and I just wanted to let you know that well, I know."

"You know?" I asked feeling slightly confused.

"Yeah, I mean it took me awhile but I finally figured it out but so you know I support you and don't worry I won't out you."

"That's good, wait what?"

"It's alright Edward you don't have to hide it from me. I know you're gay."

"I'm what?" I squeaked.

"You're gay it's cool. I mean it's a shame you're really good looking but it's pretty obvious. I mean you dress way too well for a straight guy and you've never even given Rosalie a second look. You're gay and like I said I'm cool with it. I won't tell anyone until you're ready to come out of the closet."

"I'm I'm I'm…" I sputtered. "I'm not gay!!!!!!!!" I shouted.

Bella looked slightly taken aback by my outburst.

"Edward there's no reason to be embarrassed really it's…"

"Bella" I said pinching the bridge of my nose and trying to stay calm, "I. Am. Not. Gay. I never have been and I never will be."

Bella looked completely horrified yet managed to stutter, "But but your clothes and Rose I… I thought…"

"Alice"

"What?"

"Alice buys my clothes."

Bella's eyes got even wider if that's possible and she gripped the steering wheel so hard I was afraid it would snap.

"But what about Rose? The only guys who aren't interested in her are gay so I just thought..."

"You thought wrong Bella. I'm just not attracted to Rosalie."

"You're not?" she whispered sinking into her seat.

"No. I uh prefer brunettes. Female brunettes." I added quickly.

Bella let out a squeak and suddenly slammed on the brakes so hard that I flew forward.

"S s sorry. We're um, we're here."

Saying I was relieved to get out of the car and away from one of the most horrifying conversations of my life would be the understatement of the century. I stepped out into the warm summer day and took an unnecessary deep breath trying to calm myself down.

I want to die. Again. Bella, gorgeous Bella, has spent two months thinking I'm gay. I'm never letting Alice pick out my clothes for me EVER again. As for me not drooling over Rosalie, well I was being truthful, I do like brunettes better, actually just one brunette. Bella.

"So it's ah this way" said Bella obviously embarrassed, darting off into the forest.

I followed behind, trying to sort out what was going on.

I soon caught the scent of a mountain lion and allowed my senses to take over. I took the lion down with one pounce, draining him quickly eager to find Bella and get this whole mess straightened out.

After a few minutes I came across Bella sitting dejectedly on a tree stump next to a grizzly carcass with her head in her hands.

"Bella?"

"Oh, hey Edward." She greeted me sadly as I came to stand in front of her.

"Bella are you alright?"

"Yes, I mean no, but yes."

"I'm not sure if I follow." I said confused.

"Edward" she moaned looking up at me through her thick eyelashes, "I thought you were gay." She said dropping her face back into her hands.

"Bella, it's okay really."

"Okay, okay? Are you kidding?" she shrieked incredulously jumping up. "Edward I thought you were gay! That is not okay. How could you not be mad at me?"

"Because well I…" I searched for the right words to say before I just blurted out, "Because I like you Bella."

"I like you too Edward" Bella said slowly "but I don't see how…"

My heart jumped at Bella's words. She likes me. Granted I'm positive she doesn't like me like her but still at least she doesn't hate me but now that it was out there I needed to let her know that I don't just like her like a friend.

I cut Bella off. "No Bella. I mean I like you, like you. A lot actually."

Bella froze in place staring at me like I had grown two heads.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything. I'll just go back to the house okay?" I turned embarrassed and began running back through the woods desperately wanting to get away.

"Edward!" Bella shouted running up behind me a moment later. "Wait!"

I stopped in time to turn and catch Bella as she came hurtling out of the woods at me. I put her down and stepped back to give her some space.

"Did you mean it?"She whispered.

"Did I mean what?"

"Did you mean it when you said you like me?" she asked.

"Of course I did Bella. You're the reason I've never given Rosalie a second glance. I've only had eyes for you."

"Oh good" she said with a sigh stepping closer and closing the gap between us. "Because I like you, like you too."

At that moment I felt as though an enormous weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Bella likes me. This day couldn't get any better.

As I looked down at Bella I couldn't help but get lost in her beautiful golden eyes.

"Edward." She said after awhile.

"Hum?"

"If you're wondering if I want you to, I want you to."

I looked at her confusion apparent on my face.

"Geeze Edward I don't have all night."

With those words she stepped even closer, wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me in toward her.

It took me a fraction of a second longer before I caught on and realized that she wanted me to kiss her. I leaned in closing the last few inches between our faces and pressed my lips gently to hers. I was wrong, this day just got a million times better.

Our kiss started out slowly but quickly picked up in intensity our lips moving in unison. She snaked her hand up to my hair as I pulled her flush against me and ravaged her mouth with my own.

After several minutes, or hours, we broke apart panting heavily although it wasn't necessary for either of us to breath.

"Edward I want to show you something. Will you come with me?"

"Bella I would follow you to hell and back."

Bella winked at me and took my hand in hers. "It's not quite that far and not nearly that unpleasant, but thank you."

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**So Bella thought Edward was gay, who knew? Sadly they do have to go to home to some overprotective big brothers, the wolf pack, AND Carlisle. Things can't be easy for Bella and Edward otherwise there would be no story. Also, I'm sure a few of you are wondering about the Volturi and I promise you'll see them in a few chapters. Anyway like I've said before this is my first fan fic so please, please review and tell me what you think. Thank you so much!**

**XOXO,**

**Bellarella**


	10. Kiss Me

Kiss Me

**Disclaimer: My name is not Stephanie Meyers**

BPOV

My lips are on fire!

Edward sex god Masen just kissed me. I just kissed Edward. Edward and I just kissed.

I think my brain is melting with the hotness of it.

I never thought this would happen in a million years. I mean I hoped it would but I was so sure that Edward was gay that I never really saw it as a possibility.

In my defense he does dress really well and I've never seen him pay any attention to Rosalie or any other girls so I just assumed. But you know what they say about assuming things, it just makes an ass out of u and me. And boy did I make an ass out of myself.

Over the past two months I've become infatuated with Edward, even though I still think he's slightly unhinged, I've hung on his every word I've watched his every move. Of course in order to hide my growing obsession from Jasper's empathy abilities, I tried to avoid Edward whenever possible. I had even tried to throw off of any suspicions that might arise by declaring Edward to be crazy. I felt awful for doing it but if it kept my dad calm and Edward's head attached to his neck, it was worth it.

The only contact I allowed myself to have with him came from expanding my shield and allowing it to brush up against him at regular intervals, wishing that I could replace it with my body but knowing that I never would because he was gay and even if he wasn't he would never be interested in me. Apparently I was wrong on both counts.

"Bella" Edward murmured beside me breaking the silence, "where are we going? Canada?"

"No, it's actually right through these trees."

Edward gave my hand a squeeze as we walked at a human pace through the last of the trees surrounding my sanctuary. As we entered the meadow Edward stopped and looked around mouth wide open.

"Bella it's…" he stopped, obviously at a loss for words.

"Beautiful?" I suggested with a smile.

He just nodded his head in agreement and continued to drink in the beauty of the meadow. The sun had set only moments before and above the cloud bank things had taken on an ethereal quality as moonbeams began to penetrate the misty haze. Wildflowers blanketed the floor of the circular meadow while fireflies danced on the breeze. It looked like a scene right out of a dream.

"How did you find this place?" Edward asked in awe.

"I came across it while I was out hunting one day and I've been coming here periodically ever since. Anytime I need to escape from reality for awhile I come here. Sometimes I read but mostly I come here and just exist."

Edward spun me around, pulling me into his chest and I tilted my head up to look at him. I was immediately drawn into his eyes, pools of molten gold after our hunt.

"May I have this dance Miss Cullen?"

I giggled, "Edward there's no music."

Edward gave me his breathtaking smirk and began to hum what I recognized as Clair de Lune. I gave a contented sigh and wrapped my arms around his neck bringing myself closer. He slid his arms around my waist and began to sway as we got completely lost in one another.

It was at that moment that I realized that I am and always will be in love with Edward Masen, I can only hope that he feels the same way about me.

After awhile we found ourselves lying together in a sea of wildflowers looking up at the stars of the Milky Way.

"Bella" Edward said quietly while rolling over on his side to face me, "tell me what you're thinking."

I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts. I decided to censor somewhat as I was too afraid to completely put myself out there. Telling Edward that I was just thinking about how completely in love with him I am would probably lead him to believe that I'm the crazy one.

"I was just thinking about how right this feels. Everything is so perfect right now. I don't think I ever want to leave."

Edward gave me his signature crooked grin, "I was just thinking the same thing."

My eyes widened at his confession as I felt an odd flutter of hope in my chest as the thought that perhaps he was feeling the same things I was, only to die down and be replaced by a heaviness in my chest when I realized that he must be talking about the meadow as he surely could not be talking about me. Sure he had kissed me and told me that he likes me but there is no way Edward Masen would ever love me, he is way out of my league.

Edward continued to study me for some time with an indescribable expression on his lovely face before he gave an audible sigh, sat up, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Bella I can't do this, this is wrong." He said shaking his head.

I felt my world crumble around me as his words sunk in. I was right. I'm not good enough for him. I felt my anger toward him building as I thought about everything that had just happened. How could he lead me on like that only to regret it so soon after?

"I'm not a good for you Bella. It would be better if we're not friends."

My eyes narrowed. "It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier. So you could have saved yourself all this regret." I spat acidly at him.

"Regret? Regret for what?"

"For kissing me."

He was astonished. He stared at me with his mouth hanging open.

"You think I regret kissing you?" He asked his anger evident in his tone.

"I know you do."

"You don't know anything."

I stood up quickly and began walking toward the trees. I was hurt and angry and I knew I had to get as far away from him as possible before I started sobbing.

"Bella wait."

"What?" I shouted angrily, spinning on my heel to face him, only to find him standing several feet away with his hands clenched into fists.

"Bella, I don't regret kissing you, at all. I wasn't lying earlier when I said I really like you. It's just that it would be… prudent if we weren't friends, not that I don't want to be."

"Oh well then now that we've got that all cleared up." I huffed angrily crossing my arms over my chest.

"I'm a monster Bella. I'm not good enough for you, you deserve so much better." He said sadly hanging his head with shame.

"Ha that's weak Edward. If you're a monster than so am I, or did you forget that we are both vampires?"

"No Bella, you are not a monster." He shook his head adamantly," You are good and kind and the sweetest person I have ever met. You would never hurt anyone and you do what's right rather than give in to what we are. I am the monster. The things I have done are despicable. I don't deserve to walk on the same ground as you. I shouldn't even be here pretending that I will ever be good enough. I should go."

My expression softened as I realized that he wasn't rejecting me, he honestly seemed to think that he was protecting my by pushing me away.

"Edward, listen to me" I said stepping closer, "you're not a monster."

Edward turned his face away from me in embarrassment with his eyes downcast.

"Look at me." I demanded grabbing his face in my hands and looking him square in the eye. "You are not a monster. We've all done things we're not proud of but it's what you do now that matters. We can't change the past, all we can do is learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat them in the future."

"You don't understand, the things I've done…"

"No Edward you don't understand! None of that matters to me!"

"None of it matters to you? How can you say that?" he shouted incredulously. "I'm a killer Bella. I've killed hundreds of innocent people and more vampires than you can imagine."

"I don't care" I said quietly.

"How can you say that Bella?"

"Ugh you idiot! I love you okay. I am in love with you. I don't care who you were or what you've done. None of it matters to me because I love you, no matter what!" I shouted all of my anger and frustration spilling into my voice.

Edward was finally silent, obviously at a loss for words after my unexpected confession of undying love for him. He cocked his head to the side with a look of extreme confusion etched on his face.

"You, you love me?" he whispered.

I was suddenly embarrassed that my plan to keep my feelings to myself had fallen through so quickly. I just nodded my head, avoiding his eyes and the disgust and rejection I was sure to see reflected back at me.

"You. Love. Me." he repeated quietly to himself.

He put his hands under my chin and forced me to look at him. "You love me." He repeated again, louder this time looking into my eyes and breaking into a grin. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Bella, may I kiss you again?" he asked shyly.

I was sure that he did not return my feelings and part of me was telling me to run before I got hurt but an even stronger part of me was screaming to give in and just enjoy this while it lasts. The screaming part eventually won out.

I nodded my head again in consent unsure of what to say.

Edward's dazzling smile grew even wider as he leaned forward until his lips crashed hungrily into mine. I felt the familiar shock of electricity course through my body as our lips met and couldn't help but melt into him. I let my hands get tangled in his soft bronze locks as his hands simultaneously traveled down to my hips pulling me flush against him. I moaned into his mouth as our bodies met and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue eagerly into my mouth.

This kiss had even more passion and fire behind it than the earlier ones if that was possible as I tried to pour all of my love for him into the kiss hoping that he would feel how much he means to me.

After awhile, Edward pulled away smiling down at me.

"Bella, love, you don't know how much this means to me, you are my life now."

"Edward, promise me you will stay."

"I will," he promised, "as long as it makes you happy… as long as it's what's best for you."

"It's not the same thing." I admonished.

"Don't worry about that now Bella."

I opened my mouth to argue with him but he cut me off with another kiss, completely distracting me before he broke it off again sometime later.

"I believe it's time we get back to the house love, before your father sends a hunting party out for us."

"Oh right," I mumbled, "Dad, yes he could be a problem. I suppose you're right." I said with a sigh. "We should be heading back, the sun is coming up and if we're not back soon they will get worried."

"Shall we go then love?" Edward asked taking my hand in his.

"We shall." I replied with a smile.

As we ran back to where I parked the car the night before I couldn't help but give some attention to the voice in the back of my mind, which was steadily growing louder. First, Edward had called me love, yet he hadn't told me his feelings for me. Also, when I asked him to stay he said he would, so long as it made me happy and it was what's best for me. What does that mean?

When we arrived at the car still holding hands Edward placed a chaste kiss on my forehead before walking over to the passenger side. I decided then to push all of the unpleasant thoughts to the back of my mind and to live in the moment for once, throwing caution to the wind and reveling in the knowledge that for the first time in my long existence, I, Isabella Marie Swan Cullen am in love.

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**So not my favorite chapter but it was really important to get Edward's self loathing out there. Like I said before the Volturi are coming up soon so please be patient, just another chapter or two before they make themselves known but for right now Edward and Bella have to get back home to Daddy. Now I've said it before and I'll say it again, please, please review! I want to know what you guys think and I'm not Edward, I don't know what you're thinking unless you tell me, thanks!**

**XOXO,**

**Bellarella**


	11. You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Loves You

You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Loves You

**Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine**

EPOV

As I sat in the car next to Bella my mind was reeling with the events that had just transpired. Not only had Bella actually asked me to kiss her but she had taken me to her special place and told me she loved me. Admittedly she only confessed her feelings for me because I made her angry but I'm not complaining.

I'm afraid that my being with Bella will put her in danger but when she begged me not to leave I couldn't help but give in to her request, against my better judgment. I still can't shake the feeling that I am nowhere near good enough for Bella's love but I am too selfish of a creature to leave now that I know she wants me.

Glancing at the face of the angel sitting next to me, I realized that a part of me was still waiting for Bella to realize what a monster I am and run away screaming. I promised myself when that day comes I will leave her immediately even though it will kill me to do so. Even so, my heart never felt as full as it did at this moment.

My time spent basking in the glow of Bella's love was abruptly cut short by some less than friendly thoughts.

_That scumbag had better not have laid a finger on Bella. If he so much as harmed one hair on her head I swear to God I'll…_

I tried to block out Carlisle's somewhat violent thoughts by thinking about the more positive progress he and I had made recently. To say Carlisle had been completely unkind to me over the course of my stay would be a lie. True, he had been much more reluctant to open himself up to me than he was to say, Alice, but he did seem to be making an honest effort. Of course Bella's declarations as to her opinion on my state of mind had probably helped ease his mind when it came to his fear of Bella being attracted to me, leading him to view me as less of a threat.

I wonder what he'll do when he finds out about what happened between me and Bella in the woods. Well that raises a good question, what will Bella tell them about what happened?

"Bella, love, what are you thinking?"

"Hum?" she asked turning to me with a dreamy look on her face.

"I asked what you were thinking."

"Oh. Um I was just thinking…"she paused, "about my parents."

I could tell she was lying but I decided not to push it.

"I see. What about your parents?"

Bella let out an exasperated sigh. "I was just thinking about what they're going to say when we get home."

"Oh I know."

"It would be really helpful if I could prepare myself before I see them but there's really no telling what…"

I cut her off, "No Bella I mean I know what they're going to ask. Mind reader, remember?" I said smugly tapping my temple.

"A little help? What do they want to know?" Bella asked innocently while batting her long eyelashes at me.

"Well" I began, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, "they want to know d if I'm your boyfriend now and they want to know how you feel about me."

"Yikes. What should I say?"

"Humm. I suppose you could say yes to the first one and as for what you're going to tell them about how you feel about me, well I'm anxious to hear that myself."

"So you're my boyfriend then?" she squeaked.

"Only if you want me to be."

"Yes! I mean I do, want you to be my boyfriend that is." Bella looked away embarrassed with a large smile on her face.

I couldn't help but grin at the thought of being Bella's boyfriend. Of course I would have preferred something much more permanent, like husband, but I had to take it one step at a time.

"Good, because I want to be your boyfriend."

Bella flashed me her dazzling smile as we made the final turn down the drive leading up to the Cullen house. As we pulled up I could see a joyous Esme and an agitated Carlisle waiting out front for us.

As soon as Bella stopped the car I jumped out and ran around to open her door for her. Although I may be a monster, I still pride myself on being a gentleman. I held out my hand to help her out and then refused to let it go, instead intertwining my fingers with hers as we made our way up the steps to where her parents were waiting.

"Good morning Bella, Edward." Sang Esme happily. "How was your hunt?"

"It was amazing, thank you Esme." Said Bella with a smile as she gazed lovingly up at me.

"Ahem" Carlisle cleared his throat noisily, earning him an elbow to the ribs from Esme. "I'm glad to hear that Bella. Edward I was hoping I could have a word in private."

_We need to have a little man to man talk about my daughter if you don't mind._

Bella shot me a panicked look but I gave her a reassuring smile and squeezed her hand gently before letting go.

"Of course Carlisle."

"Bella why don't you come with me." Esme chirped stepping forward and wrapping her arm around Bella's shoulders and practically dragging her into the house, "I have some things I would like to show you and I know Alice and Rosalie have missed you and would love to 'catch up'."

I stifled a laugh when I saw from Esme's thoughts that she, Alice, and Rosalie had been practically climbing up the walls waiting to accost Bella and pump her for information once she got home. Apparently Alice had shared her vision of what had gone on between Bella and I and they were all eager to begin the interrogation.

Bella looked back at me once, begging me with her eyes to save her, but I just smiled and waved. If anything she was getting off easy. I had Carlisle and from the sounds of it, Jasper and Emmett, to answer to.

_Come on Edward, Emmett and Jasper are waiting by the river for us. That should be far enough away to give us some privacy._

I nodded and followed Carlisle into the woods and down to the riverbank where, as promised, Jasper and Emmett were waiting.

Since arriving Emmett and Jasper had warmed up to me considerably. It was evident from their thoughts that both were glad to have me here but were still a little apprehensive when it came to Bella as well as my past and understandably so.

Emmett had welcomed me to the family immediately, challenging me to a wrestling match within hours of arriving. He had been quite miffed when I won claiming that I had cheated. True my ability to see what Emmett was planning to do moments before he did it helped some but it was really my Volturi training that helped me take him down with ease. As a member of the guard I had been forced to learn to fight and wrestling Emmett was very much like the exercised we did in order to practice fighting newborns.

Jasper had been more hesitant to open up to me, partially because of his nature but mainly because of my past as a member of the guard. I had been surprised to find out that he had fought in the Southern wars some time ago and because of this he had a very healthy fear of the Volturi.

"Hey Eddie." Emmet greeted jovially, looking up from the buck he had apparently just taken down.

I growled at his nickname for me. I hate being called anything but Edward. Now if Bella were to call me Eddie that would be another matter all together. Anything that came out of that perfect mouth of hers was…

"Whoa, Edward why is there so much lust rolling off of you right now? Ugh please tell me you're not gay for Emmett."

"What is with your family?" I shouted annoyed. "Why do you all think I'm gay?"

Emmett let out a loud guffaw and ended up laughing so hard that he shot blood out of his nose making him laugh even harder until he was rolling on the ground clutching his sides as he and Jasper howled with laughter.

"Edward, who else thought you were gay?" Jasper asked curiously once he had regained his composure.

"Bella," I said dejectedly running my hands through my hair, "she thought I was gay because of the way I dress and because I'm not drooling over Rosalie. It's not my fault," I whined, "Alice picks my clothes and Rosalie is really shallow, sorry man I said looking over at Emmett."

He just waved me off and went back to draining his buck.

Jasper gave me a sympathetic look and I could see that he was thinking back to his shopping trip with Alice several weeks before during which she insisted on replacing his entire wardrobe. Since then she had been picking out his clothes every day, including his underwear, ouch.

Carlisle, who had remained silent throughout our entire exchange, chose this moment to change the subject.

"Edward, as Bella's adopted father I feel that I have the right to ask, what exactly are your intentions concerning my daughter?"

Jasper and Emmett looked at me intently as I prepared to answer Carlisle's question. I decided that confessing my undying love for Bella and my intention to make her my wife someday in the near future would probably be too much for right now, especially since I hadn't discussed any of it with Bella. Instead I decided to be honest and brief.

"Sir, Bella is the most amazing woman I have ever encountered in my entire life. I respect her more than anyone I have ever met and I would never do anything to hurt her. I swear on my life, I will do anything to make sure that she is safe and I plan on spending the rest of eternity making her happy if she'll let me."

Carlisle seemed a bit taken aback by the honesty of my confession but oddly, instead of freaking out like I was afraid he would, his thoughts got strangely calm, thanks in part to Jasper, and he just nodded his head.

"Alright then Edward but if you so much as harm one hair on her head I will personally hunt you down and torture you slowly until you are begging for death."

I gulped loudly as I saw what Carlisle was envisioning when Emmett interjected. "That is unless Jazz and I find you first in which case Carlisle's tortures will seem like a day at the beach." Jasper nodded his head solemnly in agreement.

"Of course." I said solemnly, "I would expect no less and I meant what I said, I will do anything to ensure Bella's safety and happiness, even if that means sacrificing my own life for that to happen. You have my word."

"Well then" said Carlisle cheerily, "I believe we have an understanding. Now, we should probably be getting back before the girls begin to worry that we have fed you to the wolves." He said with a chuckle before taking off running toward the house with Emmett hot on his heels, eager to get back to Rosalie to, ugh gross.

_Edward_, called Jasper, _I need to speak to you alone for a minute._

I nodded my head and waited for Carlisle and Emmett to get out of earshot before answering him.

"What can I do for you Jasper?"

"Well," he began nervously, "it's about Alice."

Suddenly I saw from his thoughts that he was planning on asking her to marry him later that night and I smiled widely, Alice would be ecstatic.

"Edward, Alice considers you to be family and as she has no father so to speak, I was hoping that you would grant me permission to ask Alice for her hand. She is the most precious thing in the world to me and I want to spend the rest of eternity letting her know just how precious she is, that is with your blessing of course."

"Of course Jasper," I answered with a grin, "nothing would make me happier than to see the two of you together. Alice is an incredible woman who deserves every happiness and I know she can only have that with you at her side. You absolutely have my blessing but if you ever hurt her in anyway, I will destroy you."

Jasper nodded solemnly before a huge grin spread across his face. He strode forward to shake my hand happily, clapping me on the back as he did so.

"Thank you Edward. You don't know how much this means to me."

Oddly I realized that I did know as I imagined how I would feel were it me getting permission to ask for Bella's hand in marriage. Someday, I promised myself, someday soon.

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**Okay so another chapter done. I'm guessing you guys thought Carlisle was going to freak out on Edward? Well luckily for Eddie, Esme has laid down the law and he doesn't dare cross her. The next chapter will be another rather short one from Bella's POV and it promises to be a good one. Again thanks for reading and please, please leave me a comment and tell me what you think. I'm trying to hurry up on the next chapter because after that the story really starts to pick up and the chapters will be much longer. Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO,**

**Bellarella**

**P.S. Thank you to LivsMom, your comment about almost shooting Pepsi out of your nose gave me my inspiration for Emmett's reaction to Edward.**

4


	12. The Birds And The Bees

The Birds And The Bees

**Disclaimer: I had a dream that Twilight was mine but then the Hamburgler married my best friend and I woke up.**

BPOV

I shot a furtive look at Edward, begging him to save me, but he just smiled and waved as I was dragged off by Esme toward an event was sure to rival the Spanish Inquisition. Traitor.

"Come on dear, we don't want to keep your sisters waiting." Sang Esme happily whilst dragging me upstairs to Alice's room. "We've all been waiting eagerly for you to get back," she leaned in and whispered just low enough that no one else would hear, "to dish about your little romantic midnight rendezvous with a Mr. Edward Masen." She finished with a furtive wink.

"My… my what?" I sputtered.

"Oh Bella" said Rosalie with a roll of her eyes as she appeared in the doorway with her hands on her hips, "you don't honestly think we weren't monitoring EVERYTHING that went on between you two did you?"

I had been nervous before but it was nothing compared to what I was feeling now that I knew they had all gotten a play by play of my encounter with Edward, courtesy of Alice no doubt. Now it was going to be nearly impossible to gloss over everything that had transpired between Edward and I.

On the ride home I'd been hoping to escape to my room when I got back, preferably to kiss Edward more and to bask in the afterglow of the night's events but apparently that was too much to ask. Why God? Can't I ever catch a break? Sheesh!

Rose and Esme hustled me into Alice's room, shutting and locking the door behind us. Suddenly a strange thought occurred to me.

"Esme why do we have locks on our doors?"

"What?" She asked looking confused.

"I was just wondering why do we have locks on the doors? They're not going to keep any of us out so what's the point? They just seem like a waste."

"Um well…" Esme looked like she had no idea how to answer my question and I began to hope that perhaps this was a tactic I could try. Maybe if I distracted them enough they would just let me go without utterly humiliating me first. It was worth a try.

"Alice I love your…"

"Nice try Bella but no dice. Sit." She commanded pointing toward her bed.

I sighed in defeat and plopped myself of Alice's opulent bed only to find myself suddenly sinking into a pit of feathers and pink fluff.

"Ugh, a little help?" I squeaked from my fluffy pink hell pit.

"Bella stop messing around! We know you were doing the tongue tango with my brother and we want the deets!" Alice squealed excitedly jumping on the bed.

I looked to Rosalie for help but saw that she was just as eager for the details as Alice so I turned to the only sane presence in the room.

"Esme please help me." I pleaded pitifully, "Alice and Rosalie are being biznoches and sticking their noses where they don't belong."

Esme grabbed a hold of my hand and pulled me off of the bed. "Sorry Bella but I'm with them. I want to know everything that went on last night between you and that hunk Edward. I mean cut me off a slice of that and spread him on a cracker, yum!" gushed Esme.

I thought my eyeballs were going to fall out of my head and my jaw was going to become permanently unhinged after Esme's comment. I mean who's one-hundred and eleven year old mother says things like that?

"Oh Bella don't look so surprised that I noticed how Edward looks. One would have to be blind not to see how good looking that boy is. I mean he is hot shit!"

Question answered. Apparently my one-hundred and eleven year old mother says those things.

It's official, my father's brand of crazy is rubbing off on the entire family. Maybe the humans upstream have been dumping some crazy chemicals into the water tainting the blood of the animals we've been drinking from for years, slowly but surely driving us all insane. Next I'll probably find Emmett running through the forest wearing leg warmers and a tutu singing I'm a Little Teapot.

"Alright, enough about Edward's good looks already." Alice interjected impatiently, "I want to know the juicy stuff. Tell us EVERYTHING."

"But Alice, don't you already know everything? I mean you probably saw it before I even decided to go hunting yesterday." I said jokingly.

I saw a look of guilt quickly cross Alice's face before being replaced by a mask of calm.

"You did didn't you!" I accused Alice as I put it all together. "That's why you had the cards all ready. You knew Jasper and Emmett would want to come hunting with me so you went for their Achilles heel, gambling. All to get Edward and I alone."

Alice looked afraid to answer but she nodded meekly and gave me her best puppy dog face. "Are you terribly mad at me Bella?" she asked.

"Mad? Am I mad?" I shouted, "Alice I'm…incredibly grateful. You're the best friend and sister I could ask for." I finished throwing my arms around her. Alice might be a sneaky thing but her heart was obviously in the right place and it was easy to see why Jasper loved her so much.

"Oh no Jasper!" I cried smacking myself on the forehead. Everyone looked at me in confusion so I continued. "Edward is alone with Jasper, Emmett, and Carlisle. If you all know what happened last night then chances are so do they. Oh no! Dad's gonna kill him and Jazz and Em are going to make snow angels in his ashes." I moaned burying my face in my hands. Just my luck, I fall in love after two-hundred and seventy-three years only for my family to kill him hours after I finally get my first kiss.

A muffled chortle from Esme pulled me from my wallowing. "Why are you laughing?" I demanded incredulously, "This is very not funny Esme! Edward is a dead man. Well more dead, Ugh you know what I mean!"

"Oh Bella," Esme said regaining her composure, "Edward will be fine."

"You can't know that Esme, you know how they've been…"

"Have been Bella, past tense. They don't dare misbehave again." Interrupted Rosalie.

I gave her look that told her I didn't follow.

"Bella what we're trying to say is that we took care of the boys. They'll no longer be a problem, unless they want to face some very dire consequences." Explained Alice.

"I still don't understand. They've all been so overprotective, especially Dad I'm not sure what you could do to make them behave…"

"Oh Bella. Sweet, innocent, virgin Bella. How little you know of our ways." Alice sang.

"I really don't see what my being a virgin has to do with… oh. OH! I get it now. Ew gross. Too much information."

"I told you she was innocent." Said Rosalie turning to Alice. "Even though she has been around for almost three-hundred years, Bella has been so sheltered by Carlisle and so wrapped up in her books that it would never occur to her that withholding sex would be an effective way of controlling the opposite sex."

Alice just gave me a sympathetic pat on the back. "It's okay Bella you'll learn."

"What are you talking about Alice?" I asked turning to face her. "You're a virgin too, or don't you remember? We talked all about it during our impromptu 'sleepover' the first week you moved in."

"Ha ha funny thing…" Alice chuckled nervously "Um I'm not a uh… I'mnotavirginanymore." She blurted out in a rush. "But you can't tell Edward okay. Please Bella, promise me you won't tell. Jazz and I have been working extra hard to block our thoughts from him but if he finds out he'll flip. Please, please, pleeaaassseee" Alice gave me another puppy dog face and clasped her hands in front of her.

"Alright I promise not to tell but really Alice, Jasper? I'm sorry but I don't see the attraction. I mean he's…Jasper." I shivered slightly in disgust.

"What are you talking about? Jasper is like a younger, better looking version of Zeus and his kisses, oh my gosh!" Alice squealed excitedly. "Besides you kissed Edward. I personally would rather eat skunk for a month." She said while wrinkling her nose up in disgust.

"But Alice, Edward is so…Edward." I sighed contentedly as I mentally replayed, in vivid detail, all the kisses we had shared only a few hours before.

"Uh oh I've seen that look before. Esme I think it's time we had the birds and the bees talk with Bella." Sang Rosalie cheerily as she grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me into Alice's vanity bench.

"You're absolutely right Rose." Said Esme making her way over to sit next to me. "Now Bella when a man and a woman are very in love with one another…"

"Or just really, really horny" interjected Rose.

"Yes or really, really horny," added an exasperated Esme, "sometimes they want to take things to a more, 'physical' level. Now in order for this to happen…"

"Oh my gosh, OH MY GOSH!" screamed Alice as she jumped up from her spot on the bed waving her hands excitedly in front of her face while I thanked my lucky stars for interrupting a potentially mentally scaring conversation.

"Alice what is it?" I asked eager to avoid this conversation in any way possible. "Is there a sale in Paris? The answer is yes, I'm in. Now let's go before all the good stuff is gone." I jumped up, ready to run to Paris and subject myself to a month long round of Bella Barbie if that's what it took. I would miss Edward but maybe I could convince him to meet me there. Humm… Edward and I in Paris...

"No, that's not it but don't think that I'll forget that you've just promised to go shopping in Paris with me." Chirped Alice as she bounced in and out of her closet changing clothes at a mind blowing pace. "This is a million, no a billion times better than any stupid sale in dumb Paris."

Alice was met with silence. Never in a million years did we think Alice would ever find anything better than shopping let alone in Paris.

"Alice, honey, are you feeling alright? Maybe you should lie down." Esme said quietly as she hesitantly inched her way closer to Alice.

"Oh," Alice said breathlessly as she shank happily to the ground, "I'm so much better than okay. Jasper had decided to propose." Alice collapsed backward, delirious with joy.

"Oh Alice!" Esme rushed over and threw her arms out enveloping Alice into a bone crushing hug.

Alice smiled broadly before she got a glazed over look on her face, obviously being drawn into a vision. "Oh my gosh he's going to do it now! He was flipping through several different scenarios but he's decided to ask as soon as he gets back, in T-minus 2 minutes and counting! Quickly we have to get downstairs and act normal!"

We all jumped up and ran for the door. Rosalie was so excited she ripped the door off the hinges, again raising the question as to why we bother putting locks on the doors.

"I'll fix that later." Rose said distractedly propping the door back against the frame. "Now Alice, get downstairs and get engaged already!"

We all made our way downstairs to the living room and Alice forcibly posed us in an effort to make us look quote unquote, 'normal'.

After a few moments we heard the boys approaching. Emmett and Carlisle got to the house first. Carlisle made his way over to Esme and wrapped his arms around her pulling her into a sweet kiss. Emmett ignored us completely and plopped down in front of his game system, earning himself a reproving slap upside the head from Rosalie.

Several seconds later, Jasper and Edward came through the front door and I had to restrain myself from jumping into Edward's arms and kissing him senseless.

"Hello love."Edward said with a crooked grin gathering me up into his arms and kissing me on the forehead. "Did you miss me?"

I stood on my tiptoes and whispered in his ear, "I have never been so happy to see anyone in my entire life you traitor. I'm so glad Em and Jazz aren't making snow angels in your ashes."

"Um, what?" He asked quizzically.

"Long story. Don't ask, you don't want to know."

Just then we were interrupted by Jasper unnecessarily clearing his throat as he walked nervously toward Alice.

"Alice, darlin'," Jasper said taking Alice's tiny hand in his own larger one and dropping to his knee, "you're everything to me and I can honestly say that I have been waiting my entire life for you. You are my whole reason for existing. The very first moment I saw you walking toward me I knew that you were what's been missing in my life. To say it was love at first sight would be a lie because even though we had never actually met, part of me knew you were out there somewhere. You're my soul mate and I've loved you since I took my first breath. I can't imagine living in a world where you don't exist and I don't want to try. I want to spend the rest of eternity trying to make you as happy as you've made me. Mary Alice Masen, will you marry me?"

Alice looked ready to explode into the stratosphere but she settled for screaming and throwing herself into Jasper's arms, wrapping herself tightly around him and kissing him everywhere and anywhere she could reach, all while shouting "Yes! Yes!", over and over again.

I was incredibly happy for the both of them but I couldn't help feeling a twinge of jealousy. They had known each other the same amount of time, give or take a few hours, as Edward and I, yet their relationship was obviously much farther along. They made falling in love look so easy that I began to wonder what I was doing wrong.

After a few moments we all left the house to give them some privacy. Esme and Rosalie ran off into the woods leaving Edward and I alone, finally.

"So love, care to go back to our meadow?" Edward asked.

Our meadow, I like the sound of that. "Edward, I would go with you to hell and back."

Edward winked at me and swept me up into his arms, "I promise, it won't be nearly THAT unpleasant."

Edward may not be in love with me but I would take what I could get, especially if it means kissing my boyfriend senseless until he eventually realizes how unworthy of his love I am.

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**Thank you guys for continuing to read my story. Please let me know how I'm doing by leaving me a comment. Just a heads up, things are going to get fairly angsty in the Cullen house soon and the next chapter, Run, will be up in a few days. It's a really crucial and pretty long chapter, so I want to make sure I get it right. ****Also, some of you have noticed that the title for all but one chapter is actually the name of a song. I did that on purpose, I've actually been working off of a soundtrack for this story and each chapter has a song that sets the mood and has helped me write. The songs are a mixture of many different artists and genres. I'm trying to put together a link so you can listen to the songs as you read but it's taking me awhile. Until then I'm putting up a list of the songs and their artists so you can listen as you go.**

**Seattle - The Classic Crime**

**At First Sight (Don't Trust Me) - 3OH3!**

**Sister Psychic - Smash Mouth**

**Daddy's Little Girl - Al Martino**

**At Last - Etta James**

**Vampire - Antsy Pants**

**Hungry Like the Wolf - Duran Duran**

**Somebody Kill Me Please - Adam Sandler**

**(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To - Weezer**

**Kiss Me - Sixpence None The Richer**

**You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Loves You – Dean Martin**

**The Birds And The Bees – Dean Martin**

**Thanks XOXO,**

**Bellarella**


	13. Run

Run

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but I do possess a biting sense of humor that, if used correctly, has been known to cause people to wet themselves. True story.**

EPOV

"Edward!" Alice shrieked as she flung herself down the stairs. "We have to go and we have to go now! They're coming and we have to get out of here immediately or they'll find us!"

"Are you sure Alice? Maybe you're wrong…"

Alice quickly replayed her vision for me and I could see that she was in fact right, as usual, they were on their way.

"How long do we have?"

"About two minutes. We have to hide all traces that we were here recently or we're going to be completely screwed!"

"Alright jump in the car, I'll drive. We should just make it to safety."

"Oh no!" Alice wailed falling to her knees. "They just caught our scent and decided to speed up, they'll be here in twenty seconds. We'll never make it." She dropped her head in defeat, apparently resigned to her fate.

"Well what if we hide?" I shouted, desperate for an escape. "There has to be some way! Alice please, help me find a way out of this!"

Alice just shook her head as she looked around desperate for a place big enough to cram herself into to no avail. I could hear them approaching and knew that we were royally fucked, they had found us.

_Millions of peaches, peaches for me. Peaches come in a can they were put there by a man in a factory downtown…_

Great he's blocking his thoughts from me. I knew this was going to be bad. Just then the front door burst open.

"Edward my boy! I'm so glad I finally found you! We've been looking for you for some time now. Oh and Alice too, excellent." He clapped his hands together in excitement. "Well, now that our family is back together we can get back to the others and start up where we left off. For morale's sake we'll just pretend that the two of you never ran off on your own and all will be forgiven, how's that?"

"That's really nice of you to offer but Alice and I are really much happier here and …"

"What Edward means to say," Alice interjected, "is that we want no part in the crazy you guys have got going on and we think you should respect that. It's just not who we are. Call us freaks if you will but we've made up our minds."

_Edward don't you dare punk out on me here. You had better stay strong or we will fail in this. Do you understand me? No matter what they throw at us we must stick together._

I nodded my head slightly in agreement. There was no way I was leaving with them. Of course at that moment they decided to bring in the big guns and I knew, without Alice's visions, that we belonged to them, there was no way we would ever win.

"Edward, why won't you come with us? You know this is going to be fun. Just be honest with yourself, you know deep down you want to come with us. Just give into your true nature."

"No Edward! Don't do it!" Alice screeched but I knew the moment that I looked into the eyes of the woman before me, I was a goner.

"I'm sorry Alice…"

"Nooooo….." she howled.

"Oh come on Alice it's not that bad. It's just temporary tattoos and a tanning parlor. It'll be fun. Emmett wants to get 'bronzed' and tatted and we've all decided to give it a go. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Oh Bella." Said Alice grimly, "If only you knew, if only you knew."

I couldn't help but shudder as Alice's earlier vision replayed itself.

"Stop being such a little bitch dude." Said Emmett slapping me on the back. "Why can't you give in and act your age for once?"

"One-hundred and eight?"

"No." Emmett rolled his eyes, "Seventeen stupid. Geeze, stop being such a Debbie Downer and loosen up."

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"Love, that was awful. I'm never letting you talk me into something like that ever again. I can't believe you let them do that to me!"

"Edward it really isn't that bad…" Bella trailed off.

"Bella. I have a tattoo written in Old English that says Property of Emmett on my back. How is that not bad?"

"Edward stop being such a whiner." Interrupted Rosalie as she walked past us into the house. "It'll wash right off. Besides, Bella stopped it before Jasper added an arrow pointing downward. You're just mad because we've all learned how to block our thoughts from you so you didn't know what was coming."

"No Rosalie. I just don't appreciate being branded as you husband's bitch."

"You are my bitch. Bitch!"Shouted Emmett from outside where he was attempting to rub off the bronzer by scratching at his skin with rocks. Needless to say he looked like an idiot.

"Just forget him." Said Bella taking my hand and pulling me up the stairs. "Let's get changed. We have to get moving if you want to go hunting before Alice drags us back into her wedding madness."

Over the two months since Jasper's proposal, Alice had gone wild with wedding planning. She was worse than any Bridezilla I had ever seen on any of those stupid wedding shows she had begun watching obsessively. Apparently she wanted the complete 'human experience' and she felt these shows were like instructional videos on how to do that. She was driving us all insane.

Bella and I raced upstairs and into our respective rooms to get changed. Sadly Bella and I still had our own rooms, for now that is. Carlisle was acting as the world's most effective and dangerous cockblocker but that could only last for so long. Right?

I dashed into my room and grabbed a new shirt and a better pair of shoes out of my closet. In my haste to change I didn't notice Emmett standing in my doorway until I pulled my head through my shirt.

"Hey Edward" said Emmett tossing me a book, "did you ever notice that pineapples don't wear bathrobes?"

"Emmett… wait. What?" I asked confused but he was already gone.

I was momentarily distracted by his stupid comment and my thoughts about what he must have been like as a human before I remembered the book in my hands. It was a glossy hardback like one of the books you would find in a school library. Flipping it over I could see that the original title of the book had been human sexuality but now it read "Human Vampire Sexuality". Shaking my head in disgust I flipped it open only to see that Emmett, and from the looks of it, Jasper, Rosalie, and Alice had left tips in the margins and someone had drawn crude pictures depicting different positions and there was even a string of numbers, apparently steps to follow. I quickly shut the book and threw it into a corner of my room where I hoped it would turn to dust.

I had had a bad enough time when I found out that Jasper had taken Alice's virginity. I didn't need to know even more of the gory details of what they liked to do in the bedroom than what I was already forced to endure. When I had found out about them I had seriously considered trying to pour acid into my brain just to purge myself of the images of what he had done to my baby sister. Ugh.

"Edward are you ready?" Bella asked from the doorway.

I looked up and was momentarily stunned into silence. Bella was always beautiful but right now she was a vision. She was wearing a form fitting dark blue blouse that made her skin look especially creamy and her long mahogany poured down her back in loose waves. I wanted to dive right in and lose myself in her beauty.

"Yoo hoo. Earth to Edward. Come in Edward. Do you read me? Over?" Bella asked waving her hand in front of my face.

"Of course love." I replied catching her hand and bringing it to my lips. "Please excuse me. I was drowning in your beauty and I was having a difficult time coming up for air."

"What am I going to do with you?"Bella sighed rolling her eyes. "You are so full of hooey."

"I can't help it if you don't see yourself clearly Bella." I replied intertwining my hands with hers and leading her toward the window, causing her to give me a questioning look.

"I was thinking we could go out the window this time, if you don't mind love. You see Emmett, and the others decided to give me a book on 'vampire sexuality' and I would rather not listen to his, or anyone else's, thoughts or tips. Also he asked me if I've ever noticed that pineapples don't wear bathrobes and I don't know if I can honestly look at him right now." I finished with a grin.

Bella bit her lip and closed her eyes before she started to laugh uncontrollably.

"Really Bella it's not that funny."

"Come on Edward the clothing choices of pineapples? He's a genius!"

"Em!" Bella shouted out the door.

"Yeah Belly?"

"I love the way your twisted, convoluted mind works!"

"Thanks Bells!"

"No Emmett. Seriously. Thank you!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose in response to the Cullen case of the crazies, mildly worried that it might be catching.

"Alright Edward," said Bella returning to my side and relocking our fingers, "let's go."

Bella and I ran into the woods for a quick hunt. I would have loved to spend the next decade or two roaming the woods with Bella but Alice had other ideas. It seemed like lately every spare moment Bella and I had that we could be spending together, Alice would suddenly pop up and drag Bella off for fittings, shopping, or 'single girl's nights'. It was beyond annoying and I know Bella felt the same way.

After quickly draining a large buck I found Bella burying the carcass of her kill.

"Ready love?" I asked.

"I will never be ready to return to the seventh circle of hell. Why can't I stay another moment in heaven here with you Edward?" she asked batting her eyelashes at me seductively.

"Oh love" I sighed, "I adore you but you've got it all wrong. You could never be in heaven with me. I am the monster and you are the angel. I'm just living on borrowed time here."

"Now Mr. Masen, I do believe it's you who doesn't see himself clearly. You could never be a monster."

I closed my eyes and leaned in to kiss Bella's succulent lips and wished that she could be right. At the same time I was mentally berating myself for chickening out again. I knew that I loved Bella with every molecule of my being yet I still hadn't been able to tell her. I felt so undeserving of her love that I reasoned that soon enough she would realize how horrible a monster I truly am and run screaming. Part of me thought that maybe, if I never told her the true extent of my feelings, it wouldn't hurt so badly in the moments before I found someone to kill me. Morbid yes, but necessary. I knew I could never live in a world without Bella, she was my life.

The kiss ended far too soon and I let out a low growl when Bella pulled away and I could hear the reason approaching.

_Edward and Bella sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g…_

"Hello Alice." I said dryly. "To what do I owe the displeasure of you company at this moment?"

_Now Edward. _She pouted_. Is that any way to greet your loving sister and companion for the past eighty years?_

"Just get to your point Alice."

Bella whimpered lowly and cowered into my side begging me wordlessly to save her from the torture Alice was about to inflict on her.

"Hi Bella! Aren't you excited? Today I get to pick your makeup and hairstyle for the wedding. It's going to be so much fun!" she sang beginning to bounce in place faster and faster in excitement.

With a sigh Bella stood up straighter and addressed the bouncing bundle of color that was my sister.

"Alice I was really hoping to spend some 'quality' time with Edward." She said with a wink.

A wink? Bella just winked and she wants to spend some 'quality' time with me? I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face nor could I stop wishing that I had paid more attention to the book Emmett had left for me. Damn.

"So" Bella continued, "can we please, please have this one day to ourselves?"

"Weeelll" said Alice tapping her chin thoughtfully "Let me think about it for a minute. Humm… NO!" she squealed grapping Bella's hand and yanking her away from me and into the forest toward the house.

I couldn't help but laugh at Bella's horrified expression as she was dragged away by my crazed sister. Here was a girl who routinely hangs out with horse sized wolves that are our natural enemies and who said no to the Volturi with no fear but when it comes to shopping and makeovers she's a mess.

My train of thought brought me up cold as I was once again reminded of the Volturi. Alice hadn't seen any decisions about them coming to get us and we had been gone for almost a year leading her to believe that they were willing to just let us go. I still wasn't so sure. Also Bella's refusal to join the guard still had me on edge. Sure it had happened decades ago but time to a vampire, especially those as old as the three brothers, had very little meaning and they could decided to put her on their hit list at any time.

I decided to put all of my negative thoughts aside and focus on more positive things like the fact that Bella wanted some 'quality time' with me. As I ran to the house I let my mind wander toward all of the ways we could spend that time. As I got near the house my thoughts had gotten so graphic that I had to slow down so that Jasper wouldn't sense the waves of lust radiating off of me. I really wasn't in the mood for his or Emmett's teasing.

After a few minutes I made my way into the house, bypassing the living room completely heading for the stairs. I paused briefly on the second floor outside of Alice's room to check on Bella for a moment. Alice had been right about not only her relationship with Jasper but also with Bella. They were the best of friends even though they bickered constantly, normally over Bella's outfit choices. Nevertheless Bella was the best female friend Alice had ever had. Judging from Alice's thoughts Bella was uncomfortable but in no real peril and knowing Bella she was probably secretly enjoying her time with Alice.

I continued up to my room where I turned on some music went over to the corner of my room and picked up Emmett's present. No harm in looking right? Several hours later Alice called out to let me know that they were done.

_Alright I can't take anymore of her whining for today. You get ten minutes of alone time but then Jasper and Bella are going to a movie in Port Angeles about the Civil War. Apparently you have to have actually lived through it to understand it fully so don't ask to go._

I quickly hopped off of my bed and met Bella in the hallway. Eager to enjoy every second of my time with her however short that time may be.

"Did you miss me love?" I asked gathering Bella into my arms and carrying her into my bedroom and sitting her on my black leather couch.

"More than you can imagine, that was awful."

"Well is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" I asked while silently praying for her to demand that I ravage her.

"Humm" Bella said thoughtfully, "well I have some ideas but not enough time or privacy for most of them."

Dear God please let those things be what I think they are.

"Really?" I squeaked. "I mean really?" I asked in a much more manly voice.

Bella moved to straddle me and she ran her hand lightly down my chest as she leaned in and whispered, "Really" in my ear.

If I could still blush I would have. Every single perverted fantasy I had come up with during the course of my ninety years as a seventeen year old rushed through my head, all of them starring Bella, and many of them starting just like this. I gulped audibly.

"So um what now?" I asked nervously.

"Well Edward you know I love you but I want our first time to be special, and private. Something that can't happen here. So I want to wait, just a little while, if that's alright with you."

"Anything love. I agree I want all of those things as well. But Bella, soon?"

"Soon" she agreed before leaning in to kiss me. Much too quickly our kiss was cut short yet again. This time by Jasper appearing in my doorway to collect Bella for their movie night.

I had picked up from his thought that Jasper was very excited to see this movie alone with Bella. Apparently since they had both lived through the American Civil War they had this strange need to watch every movie, and in Jasper's case read every book, about the Civil War and then ridicule it for all of the inaccuracies they inevitably found. Besides during my time I had found the courage to decide to tell Bella how I felt about her and I needed some time to get things set up.

Once Bella and Jasper were gone I went downstairs to find Alice in order to put my plan into motion.

_It's perfect Edward. And may I say it's about time too._

I shouldn't be surprised. Of course Alice had seen my plan to profess my love to Bella when she got home.

_Come on we have to get started now if we want to get everything ready before they get back. I have some great ideas as far as mood lighting. _

She showed me just what she meant and I nodded my head in agreement. This was going to be perfect. Not only was I going to tell the woman I loved how much I truly love her but maybe, if everything went really well, I would get lucky and finally cash in my cursed v-card.

Alice already owned all of the supplies I needed so after gathering everything up we ran to Bella and my meadow to set up my wonderland.

Somehow Alice had managed to find hundreds and hundreds of candles and she began spacing them periodically throughout the meadow as I laid out the blankets and gathered flowers to give to Bella.

Suddenly I felt a searing pain in my head and Alice fell to the forest floor screaming in pain.

"Alice what's happening?" I panted through the fire raging in my mind as I crawled toward a prone Alice.

Alice continued to scream for a while longer before everything went black and we both collapsed on the meadow floor. Sometime later I opened my eyes to see that the stars were out providing the only source of light in the meadow as tonight there was a new moon.

"Alice? Alice can you hear me?" I whispered dragging myself closer to where she was curled up in the fetal position sobbing to herself. "Alice what was that?"

She looked up at me with a haunted look in her ocher eyes. "It's them. They've made a decision, they're coming for us."

"But the pain…"

"That was our future if we decide to stay. I've been going through every option. If they find us here the Cullens will fight and we will all die." Her eyes held so much sorrow as she continued. "Edward I can't let Jasper die, I have to save him. We have to go."

"No Alice. No!" I shouted desperate for a solution. "We'll just run. I can't go back. We'll leave, lead them on another false trail and come back. I can't leave Bella. I love her Alice, I can't live without her."

Alice shook her head slowly as I watched her visions of our future based on my decision to run.

_The entire Volturi guard had been sent to retrieve Aro's prized possessions. They followed our trail right into Forks, finally leading them to the Cullen's house. Esme is outside working in her garden when they arrive. She greets them but when they ask about our whereabouts she refuses to talk. Jane steps forward and begins torturing her. As her screams fill the air Carlisle and Rosalie coming running out the front door. They are also questioned about our whereabouts and when they too refuse to speak they are tortured as well. Suddenly Jasper and Emmett emerge from the forest coming to the aid of their family, ready to fight. They are quickly set upon and after a fierce battle they are destroyed by the guard. Tiring of the other's pained screams Felix quickly silences them with decapitation and sets their remains ablaze. Soon after seeing the purple smoke Bella and the La Push pack arrive on the scene ready to fight to the death. The wolves fight valiantly, taking a fair number of the guards down with them but they too fall leaving only Bella. After conferencing with his brothers Aro steps forward to again offer Bella a place on the guard to which she spits in his face. With a quick flick of his wrist Aro orders Bella's death. It is slow and torturous as they rend her limb from limb before tossing her still twitching body into the flames with the rest of her family._

"Alice no…"I whisper.

"We have no choice Edward we have to go back, it's the only way they survive."

"But we can't just leave…"

"We have to. Bella and Jasper will never let us go willingly, they will insist on fighting. If we love them we have to leave them."

"How long?" I asked. "How long do I have left with my love before they come for us?"

Alice's eyes glazed over as she searched the future. "They will be here by tomorrow. They were in Alaska checking up on the Denali coven when they received the order to come collect us. Aro, Caius, and Marcus are getting on a plane now to meet them in Seattle."

I began to pull at my hair in despair. "What am I going to do Alice? How could this happen?"

"I'm sorry Edward. I am so sorry." Alice sobbed throwing her arms around my shoulders and curling herself into my chest when her eyes glazed over yet again.

_Bella found my note to her in the house requesting that she meet me in the meadow. She smiled excitedly and ran out the front door passing a clock on her way. The time was 10:35._

"She's coming Edward. We don't have much time its 10:30 now. You have to convince her to let you go. If you just run she will follow. You have to convince her not to."

"I can't Alice. I can't leave her, I won't."

"Edward" Alice said seriously, "If you love her we have to go. It's the only way. Just be thankful you get this chance to say goodbye."

"Alice go, see Jasper."

"I can't. With his empath abilities he will see through any lie I tell him. He will never let me go. No Edward, do what you have to in order for Bella to let us go and do it quickly. We have to reach the Volturi before they get anywhere the Cullens."

I could hear Bella quickly approaching.

_Do whatever it takes Edward. You have to save her. I am going to start running north, meet me as soon as you can._

"I will" I answered quietly as I stood, ready to take my eternal place in the fires of hell.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////So I was going to continue but this chapter was getting ridiculously long and it has taken me long enough to update so I felt like I owed you. The next chapter will be up by Wednesday and it will also be in Edward's POV, we will hear from Bella soon enough trust me. Please, please review! I want to know what you guys think. I am going to have to change the rating of this story to M soon so if that's what you're looking forward to hang in there more of the unexpected needs to happen first. Thanks for reading!

XOXO,

Bellarella

P.S. Today's song is Run by Snow Patrol


	14. Maybe I'll Catch Fire

Maybe I'll Catch Fire

**Disclaimer: The only story I own is this one.**

EPOV

As I stood, waiting to destroy everything Bella and I had, I couldn't help but think what a special spot would be reserved for me in the deepest pit of hell where I would surely burn for all of eternity. Not for the sins I had already committed but for what I was about to do. I was going to commit the blackest form of blasphemy. I prayed one last time to a god I had begun to question, to stop time and spare my love but my prayers went unanswered as Bella eagerly stepped into the meadow.

"Edward" she breathed smiling happily as she made her way toward me, throwing her arms around my waist and resting her head on my chest. "I'm so glad to see you. I know I wasn't gone long but it seemed like an eternity without you so I've decided to make a new rule. We can never be apart."

I stood stiff, unsure how to react. I was at war with myself. Every selfish fiber of my being was screaming for me to hold her close and never let her go while my mind was telling me that I had to get away from her as fast as possible in order to save her. My mind eventually won out and I cursed myself for what I was about to do.

I allowed myself one last long look at a happy grinning Bella, my light, my life. I sealed away the memory of her for eternity. I knew that although I didn't deserve it, I desperately needed this memory in order to survive for Alice's sake since after this I would have nothing left to live for.

"Isabella," I said quietly as I loosened her hold on me and stepped back from the arms I wanted so desperately to be held in forever. Bella looked up at me with a mixture of confusion and hurt on her face.

"Isabella, we're leaving."

Bella cocked her head to the side, obviously not understanding the permanence of my statement.

"Okay," she said. "I'll come with you. Just let me call Carlisle and let him know that we're going to be go…"

"No," I said firmly.

"What?" She asked even more confused than before. "I thought you said…"

"I said we're leaving, meaning Alice and I. Not you and I."

"Alright," she said slowly. "Well, when will you be back? Jasper didn't mention anything earlier, is this some sort of wedding surprise you're planning or…"

I cut her off again, my resolve faltering. "No Isabella."

"Bella" she corrected quietly. "Why do you keep calling me Isabella? Edward is everything alright?"

"No Bella." I said pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration "Nothing is alright, everything is all wrong, that's why we're leaving. We can't go on pretending anymore."

Bella stepped forward grabbing my hand and pulling it to her chest. "I... I don't understand Edward. What ...what are you saying?"

"Bella we're leaving, for good."

"Well I'll come with you," she said stubbornly, furrowing her brow.

"You can't, Bella. Where we're going … It's not the right place for you."

"Where you are is the right place for me," she insisted.

"I'm no good for you, Bella."

"Don't be ridiculous," she said grasping my hand more tightly and looking determinedly into my eyes. "You're the very best part of my life."

"My world is not for you," I said grimly. A life amongst the Volturi would be no kind of life for Bella. Someone as good as she was would never survive long in the bloodthirsty world of Volterra. It would destroy her from the inside out.

"You promised! You promised that you would stay-"

"As long as that was best for you," I interrupted to correct her. "Bella, I don't want you to come with me."

"You … don't … want me?" she asked dropping my hand.

"No," I answered steeling myself for that fight that was sure to ensue. There was no way in hell that Bella was going to believe I would ever not want her. Everything I had done since we had met was for her and she knew that. Didn't she?

"Oh well that changes things," she said calmly.

I was taken aback by her cool tone. Bella's easy acceptance shattered what was left of my cold heart into microscopic pieces. She was giving up on us, on me so easily, how could she? But then, looking deeper into her eyes I could see it, she actually believed that I didn't want her anymore. She believed that I could actually exist without needing her. Why had I never told her how I truly felt? I needed to try to tell her how much she meant to me, how important she is, she needed to know that I loved her, would always love her.

"Of course I'll always love you… in a way. But I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not. I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." I looked away into the forest toward Seattle where my captors were waiting willing her to find the deeper meaning in my words. I had just told her I loved her, for the first time but nevertheless it was out there in the universe I just hoped that someday she would realize how much I truly loved her.

"Don't." She said, her voice just a whisper now. "Don't do this."

I stared into her pleading eyes and I felt every good feeling I had ever had leave my body. Inside I was begging her to fight me, to fight for us but I knew that if I wanted to save her, to save them all, I had to play on her one weakness, her self deprecation.

"You're no good for me Bella." The moment I said those words I knew Bella would let me go. I had garnered through the thoughts of the rest of the Cullens that Bella was convinced she was undeserving of me for some inane reason when in truth, I was a monster undeserving of her love or kindness. As I saw the look of anguish that settled on Bella's face at my words every bit of the humanity I had so desperately clung to for the past ninety years crumbled to dust.

"If… that's what you want."

Through my numbness I struggled to nod once in acknowledgement as I prayed that I would be smote down where I stood. I deserved to catch fire and burn for the rest of eternity for what I had just done. But somehow I was able to keep my composure for a few moments longer in order to finish the job.

"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much."

"Anything," she responded, her voice faintly stronger.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid" I ordered struggling not to let my pain show in my voice. "Do you understand what I'm saying?" I looked her in the eye begging her to see the meaning behind my words. If Bella, or any of the Cullens, ever decided to come looking for us that would be all the reason Aro needed to order them all eradicated. The only way to keep them safe was to keep them as far away from us as possible.

"I'm thinking of Carlisle, of course, and the others. They need you. Take care of yourself – for them."

She nodded helplessly. "I will," she whispered.

I relaxed just a little, relieved that I wouldn't have to worry about her coming after us and getting herself killed.

"And I'll make you a promise in return," I said. "I'll promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."

I took another step away from her. "That's everything I suppose. We won't bother you again."

"Alice isn't coming back", she said so low I almost missed it.

I shook my head slowly always watching her face, memorizing every perfect detail of her. From her long mahogany waves to her golden eyes and pouty pink lips down her slender body, she was a goddess meant to be worshipped not tossed aside like yesterday's garbage yet that was exactly what I was doing.

"No. She's gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."

"Alice is gone?" she said her voice blank with disbelief. Why was it so hard for her to believe that Alice would leave but not me? Did she honestly think that I loved her any less than Alice and Jasper loved one another?

Oh God Jasper. How would he take it when Bella told him we had left? He would of course have known that Alice and I were lying if either of us had tried to feed him this line of bull and never let her leave but he and Alice would never be afforded that chance or even luxury of a goodbye. I would never forgive myself for allowing any of this to happen, it was all my fault.

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for both you and Jasper."

I needed to leave immediately. I was torn to shreds and I knew I was going to need any strength I could muster in order to get Alice through this as I was a lost cause. The safety of Alice and the Cullens was all that mattered now and if I was going to be good to anyone I needed to go, otherwise this would all have been in vain.

"Goodbye, Bella," I said quietly.

"Wait!" she pleaded, reaching for me desperately.

I caught her arms, locking my hands around her slender wrists and pinning them to her sides. I leaned down carefully, praying I would have the strength not to lose control and beg her to forgive me for what I had just done and pressed my lips to her forehead for the briefest moment. Bella's eyes fluttered closed.

"Take care of yourself," I breathed. Then I took off running faster than I ever thought possible getting as far as fast as possible. I wove around creating false trails in case Bella or any of the others decided to try to follow me, losing myself completely in my misery. It wasn't long before my legs gave out and I fell sobbing to the forest floor somewhere in Canada.

I lay there curled in on myself allowing the sobs to wrack through my body until I heard Alice approaching. Within moments she was at my side, pulling me into her arms and sobbing with me.

We cried and cried for what seemed like hours. We cried for what we had been forced to do. We cried for what we were and what would never be. We cried for those we loved and lost and we cried for one another.

Too soon the first rays of sunlight shot across the horizon illuminating the gloom of the forest. Knowing that our time was up we clung to one another for a few moments more before pulling ourselves up and readying ourselves to face the rest of eternity.

_We did the right thing Edward. I know we did and you have to believe it too. There was no other way, you saw it too. This is the only way they can be safe._

I nodded knowing Alice was right but that didn't make me feel any less like a monster.

"What can you see waiting for us?" I asked speaking for the first time since saying goodbye to Bella worried that our sacrifice may be in vain.

_Aro and the rest of his guard step out to meet us. Renata, his personal bodyguard stands before him, protecting him from any threat that we might pose to her master. Alice and I kneel before him, begging to be forgiven for abandoning the guard. Aro raises his hand and Jane steps forward with a deceivingly sweet smile on her face. She turns her gaze on Alice and I, immediately we are writhing on the ground, screaming in response to the pain Jane is causing us. After a few tortuous moments Aro raises his hand again and the screaming stops. Shakily, Alice and I manage to right ourselves and resume kneeling. Aro reaches out with his hand toward me. Repressing a shudder I clasp his hand and watch as he reviews all of my memories from the past several months. With a chuckle he drops my hand._

"_It would seem you and Alice have met the Cullens. Tell me Edward, how is dear Bella?" he asked cunningly._

_I repress a snarl, knowing it could mean death and in the very least more torture from Jane for both Alice and myself. I could see in his mind how badly he desired Bella and he saw that perhaps this was his chance. Maybe if she loved me as much as I loved her he could convince her to join the guard by promising me to her._

_"It will never work," I said firmly in response to his thoughts._

_Aro considered my words for a moment before sighing. I suppose you're right, after what you did to poor Bella it would be a miracle if she agreed to be on the same continent as either of you. Oh well perhaps another time, we do have forever to wait don't we," he said with a laugh. "Well my children I would love to welcome you both back with open arms but be warned. Should this ever happen again I shall let my darling Jane have her way with you before I send the rest of the guard to hunt down and eliminate every one of the Cullens as punishment."_

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Okay so Edward left Bella in the woods. Crappy right? I agree. At least it was for a good reason this time. Edward's time is over for awhile and we're going to focus on Bella and Jasper. Poor Jasper, can't forget him, he's got it rough. I mean Alice did just run away from their wedding without so much as a goodbye.

Anyway please leave me a comment and let me know how I'm doing. I always respond and honestly, they make my heart happy. Watch out for the next update!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	15. The Coldest Heart

The Coldest Heart

**Disclaimer: I ain't no book author.**

He didn't want me. There was no place for me in his world and he was tired of pretending.

When Edward told me he didn't want me and that I was no good for him, my cold dead heart had gone supernova and exploded, shattering into millions of razor sharp shards which in turn hollowed out a giant hole in my chest that threatened to destroy me from the inside out. It felt as though I had a black hole nestled inside of me, sucking in and obliterating every good thought and feeling I had ever had and then crushing them to dust. I was consumed with emptiness.

As soon as Edward had run from the meadow, my first instinct was to chase after him but after taking only three steps I collapsed onto the soft, wet ground, clutching at the painful gaping void in my chest. I felt so empty I couldn't even bring myself to cry for what I had lost. Instead I lay, curled into a ball, wishing for death.

Time ceased to exist for me there in the meadow. I lay there, curled up onto myself for what could have been minutes, hours, days, or even years. None of that mattered, nothing mattered anymore. Edward was gone, he didn't want me. I was just a mistake, a distraction which he so obviously regretted. My entire reason for living had just run away, leaving me alone and broken in the woods.

After what could easily have been eons or perhaps merely hours, I heard footsteps approach but I was too far gone to really care about who had found me. I didn't even bother to see who had stumbled upon me until I heard my name being shouted and I discovered it was my father.

"Bella! Bella sweetheart are you alright?" he yelled while hesitantly making his way over to me. He suddenly stopped short several yards away. "Oomph."

I managed to focus enough to see that Carlisle had apparently hit an invisible barrier several yards away. He was gingerly running his hands along what appeared to be an invisible wall. He looked so much like a mime I would have been tempted to laugh were I still capable of feeling anything other than empty numbness.

"Bella," he called even more worried. "Bella can you hear me?"

I made no move to acknowledge the fact that I could hear him. I was much too numb to answer or even move.

Sensing I was in a serious state of distress Carlisle began frantically banging on the wall, desperate to get to me. He pushed and pushed on the strange barrier looking for a weakness and finding none. The wall turned out to be more of a bubble in which I was the epicenter. Oddly, each time Carlisle made contact with the bubble I felt odd nudges on the outskirts of my mind.

"Bella, honey," Carlisle said with a tone of desperation seeping into his voice, "it seems as though perhaps your shield has suddenly managed to manifested itself physically around you. Are you hurt baby? Is it protecting you from something?"

Through the haze that had settled in my mind I registered briefly that my shield had been growing seemingly stronger lately although it had never been physically apparent before. All I managed in response to his questions was a muted pained whimper before I clutched the hole in my chest even more tightly trying to hold myself together.

Taking my whimper as confirmation that I had somehow been harmed, Carlisle began to run his hands through his hair frantically, desperate to get to me. "Alright Bella. Everything is going to be fine, I promise," he said while trying to stay calm for my sake. "I need you to focus Bells. Focus on your shield. I can't help you unless you let me in. Please let me in Bella. Can you lower your shield for me honey?" he pleaded softly trying to meet my eyes.

I closed my eyes, trying to concentrate on lowering my shield, not wanting my father to be unnecessarily worried about me. After struggling to focus on harnessing and controlling my shield for several stress filled minutes, I was finally able to pull together enough strength to pull back my shield. It left me feeling even more mentally exhausted than before.

As soon as my shield was retracted, I felt two strong arms gather me up gingerly, careful not to jostle me, before I was quickly carried back home at a speed I had rarely experienced.

Gently setting me on the couch Carlisle knelt before me, quickly checking me over for injuries. Finding no physical signs of injury he began rubbing my back gently, obviously uncomfortable with the near catatonic state I had entered in the meadow. "Bella honey, what's wrong? Did something happen? Where's Edward?"

Momentarily pulling myself out of my haze, I somehow found the strength to answer him. "He's gone. He left." The raw hole in my chest ached painfully, causing me to inhale sharply. I hadn't experienced physical pain like this since my three days roasting in hell as I underwent my change centuries ago.

"What do you mean he left?" he asked obviously confused, understandable since Edward and I had been nearly inseparable since that night in the woods two months prior.

"He left me Dad," I whimpered painfully. "I knew I wasn't good enough for him and it was only a matter of time before he realized it too. He said this was all a mistake and he was tired of pretending. Then he left." I curled up even more tightly into a ball, trying to hold the broken pieces of myself together as best I could and clinging to the numbness I felt, knowing that behind it was pain like nothing I had ever experienced.

"He said that?" Carlisle shouted incredulously.

I just nodded my head in response unable to form any real, coherent thoughts for the moment.

"That bastard! I'll tear him limb from limb until he's begging for death," he seethed, jumping up from the couch and starting to pace back and forth in front of the couch plotting my love's demise.

I shook my head slowly. "No Dad. It's not his fault he was always too good for me it just took him awhile to see it. Besides, he's not coming back."

"We'll then I'll ask Alice how to find him. Your brothers and I will track him down if necessary and…"

"She's gone," I whispered sadly, cutting him off. Carlisle quickly came back over to the couch and in an effort to comfort me he gathered me into his lap and laid my head on his chest hugging me close.

I found myself momentarily lucid enough to answer. "He said she wanted to say goodbye but he convinced her that a clean break would be better, for both me and Jasper," I took an unsteady breath. "She left Jasper Daddy! She just left and she's not coming back," I sobbed loudly into his chest as I ceased to feel numb long enough for the pain of what both Jasper and I had just lost to hit me full force causing another wave of pain to ripple throughout my entire frame. I shuddered and began to shake uncontrollably in Carlisle's strong arms.

"How can I tell him Dad? What can I possibly say? It's all my fault," I moaned through the excruciating pain coursing relentlessly throughout my body.

Just then the front door slammed open, causing some of the plaster on the wall to crumble, revealing a disheveled and frantic looking Jasper. A moment later the rest of my family came running in behind him looking worried.

Jasper took one look at me before asking, "Bella what's wrong?" He swiftly came over to my side whilst sending me waves of calm that were having absolutely no effect on my altered mental state. "We were hunting miles away from here when I felt such a strong tidal wave of despair and hurt wash over me that I fell to the ground and was unable to move for quite some time. Then everything suddenly stopped and I was completely devoid of emotion. For the first time in my life I was completely numb. Now those horrible feelings are back and Bells, it's coming from you. What happened darlin'?" He finished a look of extreme concern mixed with pain on his face as he glanced around the room. "Where's Edward, did something happen to him?"

"Oh Jazz," I cried sobbing even harder as he and Carlisle tried in vain to calm me.

Emmett and Rosalie hovered nearby with their arms wrapped securely around one another, seemingly unsure of how to comfort me but unwilling to leave me alone in my obvious time of need. My sobs were briefly interrupted by a concerned Esme taking me from Carlisle's arms and lifting me into her lap, cradling me to her chest as a mother would a distraught human child before I began sobbing again, much harder.

"Something happened didn't it sweetheart?" Esme asked gently brushing my hair out of my face. "It's your heart isn't it my darling girl? He has hurt your heart hasn't he? And more than that, he managed to hurt your spirit," she continued knowingly as she looked toward Carlisle for confirmation.

Apparently he gave everyone all the confirmation they needed because Emmett and Jasper suddenly jumped up, eager for a fight.

"It's going to be okay Bells," Emmett boomed from across the room his usually golden eyes growing darker by the second in response to the anger he was feeling. "Me and Jazz will take care of everything, don't you worry. We're going to hunt him down and drag his pathetic ass back here and make him pay. No one hurts with our baby sister and gets away with it," he said pounding his fist into his hand menacingly.

"That's right," added Jasper going to stand at his side. "We'll bring him back in a million pieces if we have to. It will surely upset Alice but it must be…" He stopped, suddenly noticing the absence of his other half. "Where is Alice?" He asked puzzled.

If it were possible I began sobbing even harder knowing that I couldn't spare him from the truth any longer.

"Whoa Bella! Why is there so much guilt radiating off of you? What's going on?" he asked concern lacing his voice.

Unable to bring myself to answer him, I became completely hysterical causing Jasper to crumple to the floor in response to the sheer amount of emotions he was being forced to deal with, both from me and the rest of the family. The pain and discomfort I was visibly causing my family led me to feel even guiltier, if that's possible.

"Emmett," Carlisle barked. "We need to get Jasper out of here now. Grab him and bring him outside. I need to tell you what I know."

Emmett nodded his head curtly, grabbing Jasper under the arms and dragging him outside. Rosalie quickly followed behind leaving Esme to rock me in her arms, trying her best to comfort me where both Jasper and Carlisle had failed. I stayed curled up in her arms wishing for a death I surely deserved.

Shortly after the others left, a pained howl broke through the sound of my sobs echoing through the forest around the house. The unexpectedness of the sound caused Esme to jump and me to whimper and curl even more tightly into her loving arms. I knew Carlisle had just told Jasper about Alice and that what we had just heard was the sound of his heart breaking. Moments later a wave of pure desolation and heartbreak came crashing over us, causing me to wish even more adamantly for death to release me from my misery.

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The last chapter's song was Maybe I'll Catch Fire by Alkaline Trio. This chapter's song is The Coldest Heart by The Classic Crime.

Please, please, please review! Thanks.

XOXO,

Bellarella


	16. I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry

I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry

**Disclaimer: I wish Twilight was mine.**

JPOV

I fought my way out of my catatonic state just long enough to emit a tortured scream, startling my family, before being pulled backward into my pit of smothering darkness. I was once again sinking alone into the abyss, trapped within the cage of my mind by the beautifully terrible memories playing on repeat. I was forced over and over again to relive all of the best and worst moments of my entire existence and there were far more bad than good. This was truly hell.

Once upon a time, I'm not sure how long ago, I remember being happy. That was until my heart was forcibly ripped from my chest by two short words. Eight letters were all it took to destroy me, Jasper the survivor of a thousand battles, completely. 'She's gone'.

I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised by her finally getting wise and kicking my sorry ass to the curb. I am and always will be unlovable and rightly so. I was once one of the worst of the worst, residing in the highest echelon of fear amongst many of my own kind. Over the course of my military career I had wiped out hundreds if not thousands, of others for no other reason than I wanted what they had making me a truly vile creature indeed.

Why someone as wonderful as her had ever given me so much as a second glance was beyond me but she had. She had introduced color into my sepia toned world with her presence and had brought me back to life with her touch. She had sparked something deep inside of me I didn't even know existed.

What was the most painful, even more painful than the memories of our brief time together, were the memories of the feelings I had experienced radiating deep from the depths of her very soul. They were feelings of love, true, unending love. How I had missed her apparent growing disgust and dissatisfaction for me I may never know.

Perhaps I had been forcing my own feelings onto her, ignoring completely all else. No. No matter how many times I went back over what had happened as I was forced repeatedly to relive every moment of my time with her, I was sure of the authenticity of her feelings for me. I had felt them issuing forth from her in constant waves. All that had changed was the intensity of the feelings, growing exponentially stronger over time.

And Edward's feelings for Bella, could those have been faked as well? I was sure they couldn't. From the first time I had seen him look at her I knew he loved her so completely that he was consumed and completely overwhelmed by his feelings. They had been drawn to one another by a bond stronger than any I had ever seen yet I had never said anything to either of them about my observations, waiting for them to realize how strong their bond was on their own. I had been positive that they were truly meant to be together, true soul mates. Again, I must have missed something for him to be able to abandon her so easily but I had been so sure.

Poor Bella. No one deserved the hand she had been dealt. At least I deserved to spend eternity suffering alone for all that I had done, but she was the purest soul I have ever encountered other than Carlisle. She was capable of more compassion and love than anyone else, and has always been so very willing to sacrifice herself and all she has for anyone that I've always felt she was truly an earthbound angel. I had met Bella for the first time at the turn of the twentieth century when she saved me from myself and ever since then I had held her in the highest regard.

For many years after being turned during the U.S. Civil War while serving as a Major for the Confederate army in Texas, I had helped my creator, Maria, create and control armies of newborns. We had done so in an effort to possess feeding rights to as much of the human population in the south as possible. I had worked by her side willingly, never giving much thought to the horrendous nature of our efforts, until I began to fall into a deep depression. As time had passed, my powers had grown in strength which in turn forced me to experience every feeling my victims felt from the time I first set my sights upon them until their last breath. It was quite disconcerting but not enough to cause me to change my gluttonous ways.

One night I had been ordered by Maria to dispose of several newborns whose usefulness was coming to an end. It was a long and nasty job so I took Peter, another older member of our army, with me. For some reason Peter had been agitated all night and our work appeared to be taking its toll on him. It wasn't until I called for our next victim, a petite vampire named Charlotte who had just passed her year mark, that I felt his feelings change, becoming far more intense. As soon as she came into view he suddenly became furious and shouted for her to run, quickly bolting after her. I could have easily caught up and taken them both down, as I was the much more skillful fighter, but I didn't. Destroying him and Charlotte somehow felt wrong.

Several years later Peter returned for me. He told me of the life he and Charlotte had created for themselves in the north, far from the warring southern covens I had become so accustomed to. Over their time away they had met others of our kind yet they had never been in a fight. After only one conversation he had me convinced and ready to go. That night I walked away without a backward glance or another thought about Maria or the life I had lived for so many years.

We traveled together for a few years in this new world free from a life filled with fighting but my depression never faded. Peter finally noticed that I became more depressed after hunting. We were following a traditional diet of human blood and although Peter and Charlotte now understood the root of my problems, they still found it hard to understand why doing something as natural as feeding would bother me so much. To them humans were food meant to be consumed.

As my depression worsened I eventually wandered away from Peter and Charlotte, sick of the killing, even killing mere humans was wearing on me. After wandering on my own for some time, I eventually found myself in Philadelphia. One day while I was there, a storm hit and I was out during the day, something I was still uncomfortable with as I had spent so many years hiding in the darkness. In an effort to not attract attention by standing in a downpour while the humans hurried to and fro, I ducked into a little half-empty diner. My eyes were dark, allowing me to blend in more effectively, as I was trying to abstain from hunting as much as possible, a potentially dangerous decision in retrospect.

The door had no sooner swung shut behind me than I caught a whiff of her. She smelled like no other vampire I had ever encountered. When she caught sight of me, her odd golden eyes had flicked quickly to my nearly black ones. Putting off feelings of both concern and apprehension she steadily made her way over to me and in response I had tensed, ready for an attack. Imagine my amazement when she had gently grabbed a hold of my hand without a word, leading me quickly outside and under the shelter of a nearby awning.

"_What are you playing at?" she had whispered pointedly, trying not to attract the attention of passersby who were hurrying down the sidewalk while huddling under their umbrellas._

"_Ma'am," I had answered tipping my hat to her in respect, "I'm not sure what you mean."_

"_You're eyes, they're black," she had pointed gesturing to my face. "Were you planning on massacring everyone in that diner? Because if that's the case I'm afraid I'm going to have to demand that you leave the city immediately."_

_I couldn't help but scoff at her. She was small and I doubted if she were much of a fighter but I had to hand it to her, she was either quite brave or very, very stupid. Very few vampires would have dared approach me, much less try to make demands of me after catching sight of my many scars from the hundreds of battles I had endured but she seemed to have no sense of self preservation whatsoever. _

_"Excuse me?" she had retorted upset with my response. "Did I say something funny?"_

"_Well Goldie," I had replied with a chuckle. "I am just amused at your lack of self preservation. Most of our kind would have turned tail and fled after one look at me. Yet here you are, making demands."_

_At my words she had placed her hands on her hips in dissatisfaction. "First of all Tex," she spat, "my name is Bella, not Goldie. Second I'm not afraid of you, I'm just afraid for you."_

"_Afraid for me?" I had asked incredulously. "Why on God's green earth would you be afraid for me?"_

"_As I said, your eyes are black."I motioned for her to continue growing impatient with her."Meaning you haven't hunted in quite some time. Odd since there are plenty of chances for you to get a good meal," she had finished while sending off feelings of disgust._

"_Gold … I mean Bella," I said still confused. "I admit that I am thirsty and have undoubtedly gone far too long without feeding but I still don't understand your concern or the feelings of disgust I feel radiating off of you." It was her turn to look confused and I realized it was probably because I had so casually mentioned my power. "I'm an empath, I can sense and influence the emotions of those around me," I answered in response to her unasked question._

_She sighed, rolling her eyes and looking toward the heavens before answering my earlier question. "I'm concerned because I want to protect not only the lives of the humans around here but also the life my family and I have built for ourselves here. If you begin massacring the innocent townsfolk it is only a matter of time before people start to find commonalities between how they feel about us and what is taking place and Tex, I really don't want to move again so soon."_

"_First of all, my name is Jasper," I corrected, "and what do you mean you have a family and you've built lives here? Do you mean to tell me you and this 'family' of yours actually interact with the humans?" I had whispered quickly so as not to be overheard by the humans. "What are you going to do when the Volturi find out. They'll kill you and your 'family' for exposing …" she cut me off._

"_The Volturi already know," she held up her hand to tell me to let her finish before asking more questions. "They already know and although they don't pretend to understand, they allow us to continue because we haven't exposed our secret. In fact," she said with a snort of amusement, "you are currently in far more danger from the Volturi than either myself or my family. If I had left you in that diner by yourself for any amount of time you surely would have killed all of the humans and possibly exposed our secret."_

"_Well what makes you so sure of yourself?" I demanded angrily. "What makes you so sure that you wouldn't have been the one to give into temptation?"_

"_Humm," she said tapping her chin thoughtfully as feelings of smugness rolled off of her. "Maybe it's because I haven't been tempted to drink from a human in over one-hundred and seventy-five years. "_

_My mouth hung open in surprise. I couldn't even make it more than two weeks without succumbing to my thirst and indulging in human blood yet she claimed she hadn't been tempted in close to two-hundred years. Maybe she held the secret to becoming less of a slave to my thirst and coming out of my depression. For the first time in a long time I felt hope._

After questioning her relentlessly, I eventually found out that Bella and her parents abstained from human blood, choosing instead to feed from animals, this was the cause not only for her golden eyes but also for her strange scent.

Sensing my interest in their way of life, she had invited me back to her house to meet her father Carlisle and her new mother Esme. After learning about their way of life and expressing my interest in taking up their lifestyle, I had been welcomed into their family. Of course this was after I had made it quite clear to an overprotective Carlisle that although she was attractive, I was not interested in pursuing more than a platonic relationship with Bella. After overcoming that obstacle, I had quickly become Carlisle and Esme's first son and Bella's older brother finding my true place in the world with my new family.

Although we fought often, I was far closer to Bella than any of my other siblings. She understood what it meant to be alone in the world, especially after Rosalie and later Emmett had joined our family, surrounding us with happy couples and she was never one to unnecessarily interrupt my solitude when the onslaught of emotions got to be too much. On the contrary, she was my rock, my own calming influence in a turbulent world full of emotions. I owed her so much and she deserved to be happy, not destroyed as I knew her to be at this moment.

Although I was still swimming in my sea of darkness, I could still sense Bella's feelings of emptiness and despair. Her feelings, mixed with my own, were he ballasts dragging me down into oblivion. I had never experienced a battle as ferocious as this and I was quickly losing ground sinking deeper and deeper into the unknown. As I suffocated under the weight of my emotions, I had one last thought before the darkness overtook me. A thought which both gave be light and dark, hope and despair, my entire reason for living, for fighting. Alice.

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So I've said it once and I'll say it again, please review! Thanks for reading.

XOXO,

Bellarella

P.S. Today's song is I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry sung by Johnny Cash, so very Jasper.


	17. Trouble Breathing

Trouble Breathing

**Disclaimer: All I own is this awesomely long chapter. Also you need to Google the Alkaline Trio song Trouble Breathing and listen to it while you read, trust me on this one.**

BPOV

Pain.

All I felt was pain and I wished for the one-thousand, nine-hundred and eighty-fourth time for death. Before now, I had merely wished for death as an escape from my boredom. Now I yearned for it as a release from hell. Suddenly, a tortured scream broke the silence of the house quickly followed by whispers of comforting all said in vain. Jasper was much too far gone to hear them. I let out a whimper as I clutched at the cavernous hole currently residing in my chest and rolled over to my side. How much longer could we endure?

The guilt I felt for Jasper's situation was immense, it was all my fault. He had been going in and out of a catatonic state, lost within his own mind and no doubt overwhelmed by everyone else's emotions, ever since Carlisle had told him about the Masens leaving. I hadn't seen Jasper since Emmett had carried him past me when they brought him back into the house but I knew from the soft murmurs of my family in conjunction with his intermitted howls of pain and the extreme feelings swirling around the house, that he was in just as much, if not more, agony as I was.

Sometime after Jasper's scream Emmett came into my room, relieving Rosalie of her babysitting duties for a few hours so she could go hunt. I assumed that either Esme or Carlisle was keeping watch over Jasper. With a pained look that was very out of place on his usually happy-go-lucky face, he made his way over to my bed and picked me up so that he could hold me in an effort to provide some sort of solace and comfort. It was all in vain, I was adrift in a roaring sea of pain, lost within myself.

Ever since Carlisle brought me home my family had taken it upon themselves to stay both Jasper and my sides at all times. They had even gone so far as to call our cousins, the Denali coven, to come down and help attempt to rouse us from our depressions. Obviously nothing had worked and after a few days they sadly accepted their defeat and returned home.

I had hardly moved since that day in the meadow. I avoided sunrises like the plague, positive that they were enough to kill me. The promise of a new day full of new chances mocked me as I was locked in a world of night devoid of second chances at happiness. During the day I shied away from sunlight as though it would burn me and at night I would stare up at the sky and lament over how goddamn ugly the stars are. There was no beauty, no goodness left in the world. I was truly dead inside. I never spoke to anyone and I refused to hunt, hoping that perhaps I could starve myself out of existence, so far it wasn't working.

I felt Emmett's arms pull me closer to his chest as a tremor ran through my body.

"Ssh Bella it's going to be alright," he murmured while gently brushing my hair out of my face, "you're going to be alright."

I let out a strangled sob. I knew he was wrong, it was never going to be alright, I would never be alright. I was as certain that I would always be in pain just as I was that I would always love Edward. It takes something momentous to change us and when it does that change is permanent. The only way I could ever possibly be alright would be if Edward were to come back and tell me how wrong he was and that he loved me too. Unfortunately I knew that would never happen Edward had made it painfully clear that he wanted nothing to do with me and would never return, so the only way to stop my hurt would be to end it all.

I knew none of my family would help me. No one, save Jasper, could understand how much pain I was in. They all seemed to believe that we would snap out of it and move on any day now. Easy for them to say, they had never lost their reason for existing because their soul mate couldn't stand to be near them anymore and chose to leave. No, I would never get over it and I highly doubted Jasper would either.

With each breath I took the black hole in my chest ripped open wider, causing the pain to rear its ugly head louder and far fiercer than ever before. Every time I thought it couldn't get any worse the pain would increased tenfold, making the fire of my change seem like a dip in a cool pond. I would gladly spend the rest of eternity writhing in the fires of transformation rather than endure this agony for one more second.

I briefly considered going to the Volturi and begging for death before remembering that he was likely with them and the thought of seeing the disgust on his face at my presence would be too much. Suddenly I knew what I had to do. If I couldn't get another vampire to kill me I would have to go to the only other creature that could, a werewolf.

Everyone would be upset with my decision and I knew it would be hardest on Carlisle but I found comfort in the knowledge that he would have Esme, and the rest of the family, to comfort him. I just hoped that they could somehow understand and come to forgive me for what I was about to do.

I had to get away as quickly as possible before they could stop me and I was thankful of the knowledge that the treaty line would certainly cause them pause and even then there would be very little chance they would know what I was planning until it was too late. My only problem now was getting out of the house.

I was weak from refusing to feed for so long and I was certain they would catch up to me with very little effort so I needed another strategy. After thinking it over I decided that the only way I could keep them off of me long enough to reach La Push would be if I could find the strength to manifest my shield physically again.

Over the course of the next several days I focused on manifesting and controlling the physical aspects of my shield at will. It was harder than it should have been due to my lack of sustenance but I still refused to feed knowing that it would only give my family false hope. Besides, I just needed to be strong enough to get myself to the treaty line, after that it wouldn't matter whether I was weak or not.

After several days of surreptitious practicing I finally determined that I was as in control of my shield as I was going to get and it was time to set my plan in motion. I decided to make my break for La Push the next night, right before twilight, when my family would change shifts. Before I could make my daring escape I felt I needed to apologize to Jasper and see my family one final time.

Sometime before sunrise I startled Esme my pulling myself into a sitting position and dragging myself out of my bed, lurching toward the door trying to escape the coming light and make my peace before I met my end.

"Bella? Bella honey what are you doing? Are you alright honey?" Esme asked as she rushed worriedly to my side.

I nodded mutely in response as I searched for a way to adequately thank her for being such a wonderful mother to me for the past ninety years, without causing her to become suspicious. I stood staring at her for a few moments while I clutched at the hole in my chest before I did the only thing I could think of. Stepping forward slowly I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into a hug.

"I love you Mom," I sighed into her soft caramel colored hair.

"I love you too sweetie," she said hugging me more tightly, "you've had us all so worried Bella I'm so glad you're up and talking again," she said as she rubbed my back comfortingly. I breathed in her scent, a mix of clean laundry, apple pie, and spring time before pulling away.

"Um, where is everybody?" I asked.

"Well Emmett and Rosalie are downstairs and your father is in with Jasper right now," she answered as a small smile began to slowly but surely creep onto her face causing me to feel even guiltier about what I was determined to do.

"I … I think I'd like to see them, if that's alright," I said hesitantly.

"Of course it's alright. They'll be thrilled to see you up and about," she said happily as her smile grew so big that it threatened to engulf her entire face.

Before I could take a step toward the door, both Rosalie and Emmett were standing in my doorway looking both slightly nervous and excited. Emmett was the first to break the awkward silence that filled the room.

"Bella!" he shouted excitedly, swiftly scooping me up into his arms and crushing me into a suffocating bear hug.

"Emmett," Rosalie scolded coming to stand beside him, "put her down before you crush her."

Emmett gingerly placed me back on my feet, allowing me a moment to right myself. "I'm sorry Bells, I'm just so happy to see you up and talking again. It's been so miserable without you. Promise you won't leave me again?" he said beseechingly while giving me his best puppy dog face.

"Em I never went anywhere. I've been here the whole time," I said trying my best to stay as light as possible while purposely avoiding making a promise I knew I would break in a matter of hours.

I felt badly for what I was going to do but I took solace in the knowledge that he would have Rosalie at his side to help him through it and Esme had Carlisle. I wasn't so sure about Jasper but I hoped that with me and my black hole gone he would find the strength to survive. All I was doing was adding to his pain and that was inexcusable.

"I'm glad to see you're feeling better," said Rose pulling me into a fierce hug. "Those jerks didn't deserve you. Well we'll show them when we find you someone ten times better now that we know you are finally interested in boys…"I jerked in her arms as though I had been hit. Startled she dropped her arms and took a step backwards to examine me.

"Bella?" she asked confused by my reaction.

I managed to hold back a sob while I desperately clutched at my chest. After a few tense moments I regained enough composure to whisper, "I'm not interested in boys Rosalie."

"Oh you're right," she said with a devious smile, "you need a man to …"

"No," I said forcefully cutting her off midsentence, "I don't want some boy or man for that matter."

"Bells," Emmett butted in, "are you saying you're a …"

I put up a hand to cut him off. "No Em," I said with a small shake of my head, "I'm not a lesbian. What I've been trying to say is that I don't want just anyone. I only want a specific someone and since that isn't an option anymore I don't want anyone," I finished clutching my chest in vain, a sense of finality in my tone as I mentally begged them to stop before I broke down again.

"Bella I'm sorry," said Rosalie quietly, a surprise because Rosalie never ever apologizes for anything, well not by choice anyway.

I couldn't help it when my mouth dropped open in shock at her unusual behavior and a quick glance around told me I wasn't the only one taken aback by this new Rosalie.

"Oh don't act so surprised," Rose snapped, "I know how to apologize I just hardly ever find the need to since I am usually right," she said before crossing her arms smugly.

Ah good old Rosalie, she never disappoints.

"But Bella," she continued in a more somber tone, "I do owe you an apology. I didn't give you enough credit. I guess I never really wanted to admit to myself that you really were," she corrected herself quickly, "I mean are, in love with that Masen boy. Part of me knew it but an even bigger part of me hoped it wasn't true, that it was just a crush, because I was afraid that you were, you know, growing up and that eventually you would move on and wouldn't need us anymore. And I can't help but feel that my attitude about the whole thing caused them to leave the two of you like they did," she finished quietly, refusing to look up from the shoes she suddenly found so interesting.

"Rosalie," I said waiting for her to look at me before continuing. "Rose it's not your fault. It is …"

Emmett cut me off, "It's my fault Rose, no one else's. If I hadn't been so hard on 'em none of this would have happened. I honestly thought that I was doing the right thing playing the overprotective older brother but I took it too far and …"

I couldn't let them continue their diatribe any longer. They needed to know whose fault this whole mess really was. As one final act I had to absolve them of their guilt. "Em, Rose. It's not your fault and I want you to remember that, no matter what. This was my fault and mine alone. I wasn't good enough so they left, he left. All of this mess is my responsibility and mine alone and honestly, I don't feel like sharing the burden of guilt with anyone else."

Emmett sighed unhappily, "But Bella why don't you understand that …"

"No buts Em. I love you, and you too Rose. You are the best siblings anyone could ask for but I will not have you polluting your conscious with this. I love you and I want you to promise me you'll stop blaming yourselves for this." They nodded in unison once before I noticed that the sun had risen higher in the sky outside of my window.

Not willing to postpone my plan any longer I turned my attention back to Esme and asked to see Jasper. She gave me a worried look before taking in my look of determination as I strengthened my resolve not to be swayed from my decision and to get through what I had to do as quickly and as efficiently as possible. Rosalie and Emmett went outside to hunt and I knew it would be awhile before they returned. Now all I needed was to convince my parents to leave long enough to give me a head start.

Esme led the way to Jasper. I had been staying in the attic during my convalescence, unwilling to return to the room that held so many memories of him so it took longer than usual to reach him. I was also moving at a human pace, trying to conserve as much of my lingering energy as I possibly could for my escape. Esme seemed to be in no hurry and was happy to slow down for me. After descending the second staircase we found ourselves outside of Jasper's room.

It was eerily quiet behind the door, vampires are naturally quite quiet and still but this was too much. When I finally opened my lungs to take a ragged breath I noticed that the smell coming out of the room was very unlike Jasper's usual scent. Normally he smelled of a combination of oak, leather, and parchment, a very masculine combination but now he smelled musky. The kind of scent books take if left somewhere wet for an extended period of time, it was not at all appealing.

I began to wonder if perhaps it was his inability to feed paired with his overall funk that had caused the change in his scent. I briefly pondered whether my scent had changed at all before being called back to the present by Esme opening the door and ushering me inside.

Behind the door I found something even worse than I had imagined. Jasper lay quite still in the middle of his enormous four poster bed. He didn't even flinch when we entered yet he was incredibly tangled up in his bed sheets indicating that sometime earlier he had been thrashing around and from the looks of it quite violently. His normally tame golden hair was matted to his head in some places and in wild disarray. His skin color was what was most frightening. We are pale by nature but Jasper's skin had taken on an almost translucent quality much like rice paper. The jarring feeling of being pulled forcefully into my father's loving arms interrupted my observations.

"Bella," he breathed quietly into my hair so as not to disturb Jasper, "sweetie I was so worried." He gave me one more squeeze before releasing me to bend down and look me in the eyes. "I have never been so scared about anything, ever. Honey I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you needed me. If I had been paying attention …" he trailed off as his eyes wildly searched mine looking for forgiveness as well as some sort of confirmation that everything was going to be alright. I could forgive him is overprotective tendencies, in fact I normally found them endearing and refreshing but as far as assuring him everything would be alright …

"This is entirely my fault. Bella can you ever forgive …"

Again I found myself having to interrupt another member of my family as they tried to place the blame that was mine and mine alone upon themselves. "Dad it wasn't your fault. Please don't blame yourself, I can't go on knowing that you feel guilty for something you had nothing to do with," he opened his mouth to speak but I wouldn't give him the chance. "You are the most amazing man, vampire or otherwise, I have ever met and even more importantly you are the best father I could have ever hoped for. There is no way that any of this is your fault. Please promise me you'll not blame yourself for this anymore," I looked up at him beseechingly, "Please Daddy, for me?"

Carlisle looked momentarily torn before he squared his shoulders and pulled me back into his chest for yet another crushing hug. "For my little girl, anything," he whispered lovingly.

I fought back a sob as I thought about what I was leaving behind and for a brief moment I almost rethought my plan. That is until Jasper suddenly sat upright, his unseeing eyes wildly searching for something he would never find and let out a heartbroken scream that was unquestionably the most painful sound I had ever heard. He began to thrash about for a few moments before his eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed back onto the bed in a heap. My plan was now more set than ever I had to do this, if not me, then for Jasper's sake.

I reluctantly pulled away from my father's embrace taking in his loving face one last time. I memorized every plane and facet as well as every hair on his head hoping to take the memory of him with me into whatever came next. Carlisle had always believed that there was both a heaven and a hell. None of the others agreed and over the years I had stayed out of the argument preferring to stay neutral but secretly I had always agreed and although I knew that if he was right I would be damned to hell for all of my transgressions, I knew any memories of my family would allow me to endure so long as the pain of my loss was erased.

I looked into my father's eyes and noticed how dark they were. I then flicked my gaze over Esme and noticed that hers were also quite black neither had been feeding well recently. This was my chance if I could convince them to leave to hunt I could make my escape, possibly not needing to use my shield against them.

"Dad," I asked trying to sound nonchalant, "when was the last time you and Esme went for a hunt?"

"Oh don't worry about us dear. We're just glad you seem to be getting better," said Esme coming to stand at Carlisle's side.

"Both of your eyes are almost black," I pointed out, "you need to hunt."

"Really Bella we're all right. You're the one who really needs to hunt. Maybe one of us should go with you," Carlisle suggested as he wrapped his arm around Esme's shoulder, pulling her closer before placing a kiss lovingly atop her head.

"No really," I replied, desperate to get them out of the house, "why don't the two of you go together. I'm sure it's been quite some time since you've been alone. I'll stay with Jasper, besides I have some things I need to say to him, in private."

Carlisle and Esme had one of those silent parent conversations with their eyes before they finally relented and agreed to go for a quick hunt, not willing to allow Jasper and I to be on our own for too long. I watched my parent's retreating forms before turning my attention back to Jasper. I needed to explain things to him even thought I was fairly certain he wouldn't hear me where ever he is and it was imperative that I do it quickly so that I could make my break for La Push.

I slowly approached my brother's bedside uncertain about how to begin. For some reason saying goodbye to Jasper was going to be much harder than my farewells to the rest of my family. Perhaps it was because I was the one who had found him all those years ago and brought him into our family. Maybe it was because I had been the one to bring the Masens into our home, arguing against the rest of the family who wanted to keep them away. Or it could be that I knew I was the one to blame for his current distress since surely Alice would never have left had I not driven her brother away. No matter what the reason I knew I had to make my peace and do it quickly.

"Jazz," I whispered, "I know you can't hear me but I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for everything. All of this is my fault. You wouldn't be like this if it weren't for me. Things would be so much better if I had never existed you would be so much better if I had never existed. I have ruined so many lives and for that I don't expect to ever be forgiven so I'm doing the only thing I can, I'm going to cease to exist. I just hope that it will help. I'm positive my feelings are a large part of what's dragging you back under every time you surface so with me gone I know you'll find the strength to make your way back and eventually fight for Alice. The two of you were meant to be together, I just know it and it's my fault that you're here rather than with her," my entire body convulsed as I fought to control the sobs fighting to break free, "you were the best big brother anyone could ask for Jazz, I'm just sorry I couldn't be a better sister to you." I leaned forward and brushed his wild locks off of his forehead, "Please forgive me Jazz. I just can't bear to do this anymore, please understand."

I took one final look at my brother and best friend before I ran toward his window that faced the forest. I quickly unlatched and threw open the window before throwing myself out of it. I managed to land gracefully before I took off running as fast as I could while still conserving some of my energy should I need to throw up my shield. As I ran I listened for my family. I had begun to relax after running a few miles with no incidents before a shout from the direction of my house broke the silence causing nearby birds to take flight in surprise. I knew then that somehow I had been found out.

Within a matter of seconds I heard the unmistakable sounds of my family in hot pursuit. From the sounds of it there were five vampires in pursuit, making me wonder whether some of our cousins had come back down from Alaska since they surely wouldn't leave Jasper alone in his state. I tried to speed up while still concentrating on being ready to throw up my shield. I was only a few miles shy of the treaty line. I assured myself that if I could just make it there everything would be fine, Jacob would surely take pity on me and acquiesce my final request.

I could hear my pursuants gaining on me as the treaty line came into view. When I was only a mile away they finally caught up with me. Rosalie was first followed quickly by Emmett. Neither of them hesitated before they threw themselves at me so quickly that I barely had enough time to summon my shield. Luckily it held fast and they bounced off like tennis balls on a cinderblock wall. In order to concentrate I had to stop running and focus on keeping up my shield as I walked quickly toward the treaty line. Although my instincts were screaming at me not to turn my back on my attackers my brain would not allow me to look at them, afraid of what I might see.

"Bella stop this!" Rosalie commanded, "This is stupid turn around and let us help you."

"Please Bells listen to her," Emmett pleaded, "we love you and don't want to lose you. Just let us help you we can get through this, together, as a family."

"Don't do this Bella. Please think of us, think of Carlisle and Esme, of Jasper, how could you do this to your family?" Rosalie implored.

Neither Emmett nor Rosalie had stopped attacking my shield, searching in vain for a weakness but by this time I had reached the treaty line. As I crossed it, ready to run the rest of the way to La Push all I could do was whisper. "I'm sorry but this is the only way. Please understand I have to do this," struggling to keep my shield up just in case for a little bit longer I pulled myself up straighter, squared my shoulders and began my run toward La Push.

Thankfully the sound of my pursuants faded into the distance as I ran. Apparently the treaty line had stopped them for now but I knew it was only a matter of time before they became desperate and crossed. I made a mental note to ask Jacob to forgive them this one time. Soon Jacob's house on the edge of the forest came into view and to my surprise he was already outside, apparently waiting for me.

"Jake," I cried rushing into his arms as I fought to stay in control. During my escape the pain in my chest had been awful but not debilitating as it was quickly becoming.

"Jesus Bella you look like shit. What happened?"

I gave him the Reader's Digest version of the events leading up to this moment, not spending much time on the events in the meadow.

"My god Bells that's awful, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?" Jacob asked as he half led, half carried me into his house.

"Actually there is one thing you can do for me," I said while praying that he would agree to my request.

"Anything, just name it," he said seriously.

"Kill me."

"What?" He asked apparently not sure he had heard me correctly.

"Kill me Jake. Please, I want to die, I need to die. I can't take this pain anymore."

"You're telling me that you want to die," he said in disbelief.

"Yes. Please Jake. You're my only hope. I know my family won't do it and I can't go to Italy and beg for death because I'm sure he would be there and well that just leaves you."

"I understand but Bella …"

"Don't but Bella me. You don't understand, you can't," I shouted in frustration.

"Actually Bella I've been there myself more than a few times and I go back every once in a while," he said sympathetically while stepping closer. "After I lost my wife, my imprint, I wanted nothing more than to end it all and spend all of eternity with her and I tried, lord how I tried but nothing worked. I've had to resign myself to an eternity with only my memories to keep me company."

"But you were lucky," I said quietly.

"You call me lucky?" he asked incredulously. "How is that lucky? The only woman I ever loved and ever will love, unnecessarily sacrificed herself for me, damning me to an existence of solitude before it was necessary and you call me lucky?"

"Yes," I answered with a shake of my head, "you were incredibly lucky. You may have lost her but at least you know she loved you. I don't have that luxury. I gave him my heart but he threw it back in disgust."

"So you're telling me you're ready to die. Right now?" he asked taking another step closer.

"Tonight is a wonderful night to die."

"How can you tell?"

"Look at the sky, look at all those stars. Look at how goddamn ugly the stars are," I said gesturing broadly to the sky above, a sight I had once prized above all others.

"Bella I really don't think this is the answer I…"

"My family is consumed with guilt for something that is no one's fault but my own and Jasper is locked in a losing battle within his own mind. Tell me what is the answer?"

"Not this Bella, never this," he said forcefully.

"Jake I can't live in this world anymore. The daylight burns me and that the sunrise is enough to kill me," I replied before biting my lip and looking away, a nervous habit I had kept from my time as a human.

"Maybe you're a vampire," he joked trying to lighten the mood with humor and a playful grin.

I nodded my head in agreement, "it's quite possible, I feel truly dead inside," I said dryly as I looked down at my feet trying my best to avoid looking him in the eyes. I failed.

Jake looked me square in the eye for a long moment before he let out a long sigh, "I can't do it Bella. I won't do it."

"It doesn't have to be you per say. It could be anyone really. All I need is a wolf to …" I trailed off as it became apparent by the look on Jacob's face that no wolf would be doing me in anytime soon or possibly ever for that matter.

"No Bella, no wolf will kill you today or any day in the future so you can get this out of your head right now," he said as he scooped me up and carried me over toward a rocking chair in the corner of his small home.

Once there he sat down and held me, rocking back and forth slowly. As he rocked, the temporary wall around my emotions I had built up in order to get to this moment crumbled into dust and I began to cry uncontrollably into his shoulder. After awhile my sobs quieted until they were no more than soft intermittent whimpers.

"Why?" I finally found the strength to ask, "Why won't you help me?'

Jacob took a deep breath before releasing it slowly and answering my question. "Because there is still hope." I looked at him in disbelief so he continued, "For me there is no hope. My wife is gone and I have no way of reuniting with her but you, you still have that chance. Edward is not dead so there is still hope for you."

"Jacob I'm not sure where you've been but were you listening? He doesn't want me, he never did it was all just a lie. There is no hope, hence my begging for you to kill me."

He shook his head and sighed, "Bella you can't possibly believe that. It's obvious that he loved you," he covered my mouth with his hot oversized hand to stop me from interrupting, "hear me out okay Bells. I only met the guy once months ago but even then he couldn't take his eyes off of you and judging from the numerous conversations with you during which you did more squealing than talking, about all of the wonderful things he had done for you I think you believed it too." He removed his hand from my mouth and crossed his arms in satisfaction.

"What do you want me to say Jake? He was a good actor he fooled us all and he admitted it. I was just too stupid to see it."

"What about Jasper?"

"What about Jasper?"

"Did she love him?"

"Of course she loved him, it was obvious. Besides Jasper can tell right away if someone is faking their emotions, he's like an emotional lie detector."

"Okay then why did she leave him?"

"To be with her brother," a huffed getting frustrated with this useless and redundant line of questioning.

"Would you?"

"Would I what?" I shouted as I grabbed my head in frustration.

"Would you leave the one person you were meant to spend eternity with just because your brother got bored?"

I rolled my eyes, "Of course I wouldn't that's just stupid."

"Exactly my point," he crowed confidently.

"What point?" I screamed jumping up and standing angrily before him, "You haven't made any point all you are doing is pointing out how messed up this whole situation really is."

"Precisely."

"Ugh!"

"Just hear me out Bella. You said it yourself it was obvious that Alice and Jasper loved each other correct," I nodded my head, "Okay well you also said Jasper is an emotional lie detector, is this also correct?" I nodded my head again and motioned with my hands for him to wrap it up. "Okay well don't you think Jasper would have caught on and alerted you if he thought that Edward was faking his emotions?"

"Duh of course he would …" I stopped as my brain finally caught up with my mouth and I began to understand what Jake was getting at. "Wait are you saying he wasn't pretending, that he lied about pretending?"

Jacob tapped his nose in confirmation.

"Okay let's say for one minute I actually agree to entertain your convoluted reasoning that still doesn't explain why they left. If they loved us it should have just as painful for them to leave as it was for us."

"Bells I've got no good answer for that but if it were me there would have to be a damn good reason for me to not only leave but to so seriously wound the person I was in love with," He asked while rising out of his rocking chair and coming to sit beside me on the floor where I had collapsed a few moments before. "What about you, if the roles were reversed is there anything that could make you leave?"

I quickly shook my head before catching the serious expression on his face and taking a moment to reconsider. Was there anything that could pull me away from Edward if our roles were reversed? I could only think of one thing.

"Well if I were a human I suppose I might leave if I felt my presence endangered him in some way but that's stupid. We're vampires, the only thing that can hurt us is a werewolf and since I know that's not an issue there is no danger."

"So you're saying there is no other danger to vampires?" he asked.

I wracked my brain trying to think of any other possible threats to my kind. I mean we avoided fire but so do humans. The only other thing I could think of was "The Volturi."

"What did you say?"

"The Volturi," I repeated, "The Masens used to be part of the Volturi until they ran away to join our family. They're the only group of vampires strong enough to challenge my family but why would they …"

"You said the Masens ran away right. Well what if they wanted them back, would they come after them?"

"Hypothetically, belonging to the guard is a choice …"

Jake interrupted me, "Hypothetically?"

"Well yeah I mean I was asked decades ago to join the guard because of my shielding powers but I declined. I mean they gave me a choice but…" I trailed off as I thought back to the day I first met the Masens and Edward's minor freak-out about how no one says no to the Volturi.

"But," Jake urged me to continue.

"But according to the Masens no one says no to the Volturi. Supposedly one of their duties while on the guard was hunting down vampires who had turned down the Volturi, finding them guilty of ridiculous offenses, and then destroying them and their covens as a form of punishment."

"And," he urged.

"And I suppose it's a possibility but really Jake if all of this was true than Jasper would have known Alice was lying when … He never saw her," suddenly a light bulb clicked on above my head.

"What?" Now it was Jake's turn to be confused.

"He never saw Alice. Edward said she wanted to say goodbye but he convinced her not too. If Alice had really loved Jasper he would have seen through any lie she tried to feed him so instead she would have had to just leave." I felt a faint stirring of hope in my chest before I realized that the searing pain I had come to expect had dulled. It was still present but it felt as though now there was a thin barrier protecting me from the worst of it.

"So I am right!" Jacob shouted in excitement.

"Maybe," I conceded but the only one who can answer that is Jasper and he's in no condition to speak."

Jacob suddenly became very interested in a knot in the ceiling while shifting his weight from one foot to the other nervously.

"What do you know?" I growled, unhappy to have been left out of something.

"Um well Bells … I have good news and I have bad news. Um which would you like first?"

"Jacob I warned you had better just stop playing games and tell me everything before you find yourself neutered."

"Ah okay," he said while simultaneously protecting his crotch, "Well the good news is that Jasper is awake, in fact he is the reason I was waiting for you when you got here, he called ahead and said you were coming. The bad news …" he trailed off rubbing the back of his neck with one hand while the other remained protectively over his crotch, "the bad news is that Jasper and the rest of your family is outside and has been the entire time. Please don't hurt me!" he squealed closing his eyes tightly and hiding behind his fists.

"What?" I shrieked.

* * *

So good job if you made it to the end of this chapter it was super long. I hope you enjoyed it. I'm not a big Jake fan but I did want to make my Jake a lot wiser and more understanding than the original. Please comment and tell me what you think!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	18. Wake Up

Wake Up

**Disclaimer: I just wish Edward Cullen was mine. I also wish I had a few more reviews to my name. Oh and today's song is Wake Up by The Arcade Fire.**

I whirled toward the door as I turned my attention to the now audible and unmistakable sounds of my family behind it. I felt my anger rolling off of me in waves as my mind became a jumbled mess of questions. How could Jacob betray my trust like this? How did I not hear my family approaching? I'm a vampire for crying out loud.

I felt violated. Jake had always been my confidant and La Push my cone of silence, now all of that had been breached when I most needed it.

"How long Jacob?" I hissed. Jake gave me a confused look which told me he didn't understand the question. "How long have they been listening?" I whispered low enough for any of the vampires lurking outside not to hear.

"Uh since about 'Kill me Jake'," he muttered quietly.

'Why?' I mouthed silently. 'Why would you do this to me Jake?'

Jake dropped his hands and took a hesitant step forward, "Bells I'm sorry, I just …" I put my hand up and cut him off mid-sentence.

I closed my eyes and began rubbing my temples in an effort to clear my head, "Save it, I don't want to hear it right now," I snapped angrily as I opened my eyes and really took in Jacob's form. He was now cowering in the corner farthest from me and rightly so, he was in for a world of hurt later, "and man up. I'm not going to hurt you, yet." I muttered the last part under my breath low enough so Jake couldn't hear.

I ran my hands through my hair, a habit I had unconsciously picked up from Edward during our time together, and took a few deep breaths as I prepared myself to face the firing squad. The irony of the situation was not lost on me, only moments before I would have gladly accepted and welcomed death in any form with open arms but now I was terrified of facing my family, namely my parents. When did I become such a teenager? I took one more deep calming breath before exhaling slowly and willing my body to relax as I took a hesitant step toward the door ready for the worst.

Before I could reach for the doorknob the entire door, along with its frame and a large portion of the wall, was ripped away from the house. I heard a muffled "Hey" from Jacob before I felt myself being crushed by two pairs of very strong arms. Afraid to meet the gaze of my captors I hung my head in shame and waited for the yelling but the yelling never came. No it was so much worse, instead they did the unthinkable, they cried.

My whole body shook with their combined sobbing and before long I couldn't help but join in as we sank to the ground in a heap of misery.

"Sweetheart look at me please," Esme sobbed out as she forced my chin up and pushed my hair out of my eyes, "please never do that to me, to us again. Bella we couldn't live without you, we love you. There has to be another way," she broke off as she succumbed to another fierce round of sobs. I ached to comfort her but I was unsure of how to go about it.

"Mom I'm sorry I …"

"No Bella we're sorry, I'm sorry," Carlisle interjected pulling me tighter to his chest, "I'm so sorry I didn't see this sooner. I'm a doctor for God sakes, I deal with depression and suicidal thoughts all the time but when it came to you I just didn't want to see it. I'm so sorry I didn't help you more." I stopped his unnecessary apology with a bone crushing hug as I pressed myself further into his chest. I had never seen my father cry and this was too much. I was a monster for doing this to the ones I claimed to love.

"It's not your fault," I said adamantly, "it was mine. I should have never gone behind you back, I just wasn't strong enough to go on living like that. I don't want to hurt anymore Daddy. I'm so …" Again I was interrupted, this time by a stinging slap across the face from Rosalie.

"Save your sorrys for someone who cares. How could you be so selfish and stupid Bella? You're supposed to be the smart one. Why would you do this to us? Do you have any idea what we were going through? Did you ever stop to think about what losing you would do to this family? No you didn't!" she cried answering her own question before falling to her knees before me and burying her head in her hands in a rare moment of vulnerability. Emmett was instantly at her side pulling into his strong arms in an effort to comfort her.

I tore my eyes away, trying to give them some privacy but not before catching the haunted look in my normally jovial big brother's eyes. I had never seen him look so hollow and devoid of life. Before I let a new wave of pain, guilt, and now shame overwhelm me for what I had put my family through, I caught a whiff of something hauntingly familiar causing me to stop mid-sob and look up in disbelief. Slowly, painfully slowly, even for a human, Jasper was making his way out of the tree line.

One look from his tortured onyx black eyes had me fighting my way free from my parents' arms in an effort to get to him. Realizing that I wasn't trying to run away from the family but rather to a very important member of it, my parents hesitantly released their hold on me and instead took comfort in each other's arms.

I gathered all that remained of my strength after not feeding since Edward had left me in the woods and threw myself into his open arms. I crashed into his chest and held on as though my life depended on it and at that moment I wasn't so sure that it didn't.

"Jasper," I choked out, "how … how are you here?" I asked in disbelief. The last time I saw him he was catatonic, only coming out of his coma long enough to emit bloodcurdling screams and thrash about in agony before sinking back into the prison of his own mind. For Jasper to rouse himself from his tortured state something momentous had to have happened and at the moment the only thing I could think of that had changed was my departure. Maybe I was right I was dragging Jasper down into the darkness with me.

Jasper planted a tender kiss on the top of my head before gently catching my chin with his fingers and forcing me to look into his eyes, darker than the darkest night. "Silly girl, I'm here for you, I love you Bells. Did you really think I would let you kill yourself? You're my baby sister and I would never survive if anything happened to you."

At that moment my legs decided to give out one me, catching Jasper by surprise and as his weakened state didn't give him enough strength to steady me I again found myself sprawled out on the forest floor. Pulling myself up to sitting I turned my attention back to him. "But Jazz how? The last time I saw you …" I trailed off trying to stifle a sob while I shuddered involuntarily at the memory of how he looked when I had last seen him.

"Hush darlin' it's alright," he cooed softly into my hair as he rubbed soothing circles on my back, "I know what you've been going through, and trust me the guilt you're projecting is unwarranted. None of this was your fault," he said with a wry smile.

I choked back another sob, "Jazz I'm so sorry. I left as soon as I could so you wouldn't have to deal with my pain as well as your own any longer. I should never have stayed, I just made things worse. I should have left sooner. I …"

Jasper placed his finger over my lips to shut me up. "Now baby girl what did I say? Just relax."

As Jasper removed his hand I felt a wave of cool wash over me. A sense of peace more intense than any other I had ever felt come from Jasper, enveloped me and I felt the scab over the black hole in my chest thicken slightly so that the pain was reduced to a dull roar. Through my haze I was aware of my family talking to Jacob but there was no screaming so for a time I blocked them out. I sank further into Jasper's arms and allowed myself to relax ever so slightly as, for the first time in what felt like centuries, I sunk into a never neverland of peace and serenity.

After awhile reality began to lap at the shores of my conscious and I grudgingly opened my eyes one at a time. I was surprised to find myself lying in Jacob's large bed while the rest of my family was with Jacob in the adjoining living room. As I took stock of my surroundings I became more and more aware of the interesting conversation that was taking place in the next room.

"No Emmett that would be suicide. We are not attaching rocket packs to our backs and swooping in."

"Now wait a minute Jazz, I really think it's a great idea, not to mention awesome but hey if you don't like that idea we could always …"

"Don't you dare suggest oiling ourselves up like Conan the Barbarian," Rosalie's voice warned.

"How did you," Emmett asked dumbfounded, "Oh my god you can read minds too! Quick Rosie what am I thinking?"

"Nothing," Rosalie answered as she sighed in exasperation at her husband's childish antics.

"It's true!" Emmett squealed excitedly clapping his hands like an oversized toddler, "I was thinking nothing. You can read minds!"

"No Emmett your mind is just predictable. Anyone with half a brain could guess what you're thinking, or in this case not thinking, at anytime," Jasper explained dryly.

"Well that's mean," Emmett pouted before a sly grin spread across his face, "betcha can't …"

"Luchador Platypuses," everyone said in unison.

"Well now that's just creepy," he muttered grumpily earning him a slap upside the head from Rosalie. I'm not sure why he thought no one would guess what he was thinking about. He was obsessed with Luchadors and his love of the platypus was unrivaled and slightly creepy. It only made sense that he would combine his two greatest obsessions into one random thought.

"Alright," Rosalie said effectively cutting off anymore stupid Emmett thoughts, "now if we're all done proving that Emmett is in fact the dumbest vampire in existence, we need to get back to the plan."

I took this as my opportunity to join the conversation. "What plan?" I asked as entered the cramped yet homey living room and I made my way back into Jasper's open arms sitting in his lap before leaning back into his chest for comfort.

"The plan to free the Masens," Esme answered scooting herself across the couch in order to get close enough to stroke my hair in a motherly fashion.

"You mean?" I breathed.

"Yes Bella," Carlisle answered with a nod from his spot on the overstuffed armchair, "we're going to get them back, no matter what it takes."

A foreign feeling of hope flooded my senses as I threw my arms around my father's neck and thanked him repeatedly. Eventually I managed, with a little help, to detach myself from Carlisle's neck and I settled myself back into Jasper's lap.

"Ah, okay well now that we know Bella agrees," Carlisle continued with a small smile in my direction, "we need to figure out how to go about this and Emmett before you start how about giving someone else the floor for awhile since you've been inundating the floor with your, um, unique ideas."

"Alright," Jasper spoke up no doubt falling back into his Civil War persona, "what we need is to first identify our biggest obstacles and then come up with a plan of attack. Obviously the number one obstacle will be the Volturi. They outnumber us three to one and they are very powerful so I was thinking …"

"Stop!" Esme shouted causing everyone to stare at her in confusion, "Alice," she whispered as if one word were enough to explain her outburst. Everyone continued to stare at her before it finally dawned on me what she was so worried about. I was about to speak up but Rosalie beat me to the punch.

"Esme's right. We can't make any decisions about anything. The Volturi probably have her watching our every move and with Edward and Aro's combined talents she has no way of hiding her thoughts, even if she wanted to." She explained, "I just don't see any way around it."

I thought about what Rosalie had said. She made a good point, we couldn't make any decisions without alerting the Volturi to our intentions, hell for all we know they could be on their way here ready to quell our uprising before it even began but oddly something else was nagging me. I knew that what ever it was it was important and I could feel it rattling around in the back of my brain but for the life of me I couldn't figure out what it was.

"Well," said Jake getting up from his position on the floor and stretching, "I can see this may take awhile. I think I'll just shift and go for a quick run to clear my head."

Suddenly a light bulb flashed above my head and I jumped up excitedly. "No Jake you have to stay!" I shouted. Jacob and the rest of my family looked at me like I had finally lost it but I was sure I had found the answer. As soon as Jake had mentioned shifting and clearing his head the nagging thought that had been rattling around had come to the forefront of my mind and slapped me silly for not thinking of it earlier. "She can't see you Jake," I explained with a smile.

Again my family looked like they were considering committing me so I continued. "Alice can't see you in her visions. Remember when I came here after my trip to Seattle," my family and Jake all nodded their heads signaling me to go on, "well if I remember correctly, which I'm sure I do, Alice freaked everyone out because she said my future suddenly disappeared right?"

"Right," Carlisle answered, "but I don't really see your … oh. Oh!" He said with a smile as he finally caught on to what I was trying, and apparently failing, to say.

"Alright could you guys just explain already? I'm lost," Emmett whined impatiently.

Carlisle moved so that he was standing in front of everyone, "What Bella remembered is that for some reason Alice cannot see Jacob, or any of the wolves for that matter, in her visions. I believe it is because Alice's visions all seem to be based on decisions. Because the pack often transforms on the fly they are often neither here nor there and so their futures are never set in stone."

"That's really cool Carlisle and good for you Jacob," Emmett interrupted sounding bored, "but how is that helpful to us? Just sounds like the wolves are freaks to me." Jacob let out a low growl and Carlisle shot Emmett a pointed look.

"Well if you would be so kind as to allow me to finish a complete thought for once I would tell you," Carlisle huffed grumpily.

"Sorry," Emmett mumbled sheepishly.

"Now as I was saying, Alice can't see the wolves and if experience proves anything, she can't see anyone who decides to interact with the wolves either which led to …"

"Bella's future disappearing," Esme finished excitedly earning an approving nod from Carlisle.

"Alright so let's go over what we know so far," said Jasper taking over command of the discussion again. "We know Alice can't block her thoughts or visions from the Volturi and they most likely have her watching for something like this from us. We also know that Alice's visions can't get around the wolves or anyone involved with them. Now we just have to figure out how to use that to our advantage."

Jacob let out an amused snort, "Well that's easy," we all turned to him questioningly. "You're just going to have to work with the pack. That way the little psychic won't see you coming and they won't know what hit them until it's too late," he said nonchalantly.

"Really Jacob that's kind of you to offer your support but we couldn't ask you and your pack to subject yourselves to this type of danger on our behalf," said Esme gently as she looked upon him with a new sense of admiration and I could tell from the look she was giving him that in her eyes he was now and always would be a part of our family.

"No Esme I insist," Jacob replied. "There is nothing the pack and I wouldn't do for Bella. She has done so much for us over the years, this is the least we could do. Besides, the pack is itching for a good fight and since I know that's not going to happen with your family anytime soon this seems like too good an opportunity to pass up. You'd really be doing me a favor."

"Perhaps you should consult with the rest of the pack," Carlisle suggested.

"If you say so," Jacob answered before yelling, "What do you think boys and girl?" A symphony of hell yeahs and excited howls echoed through the surrounding woods. "I guess we're all in then," he said with a smug grin while crossing his russet colored arms as if daring anyone to object to the pack's involvement.

Well if he thought there was going to be an argument it sure as hell wasn't going to come from me. I launched myself out of Jasper's lap yet again and into Jake's too hot but still comforting arms. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I shouted as I covered his face in kisses.

"Aw Bells," Jake said bashfully, "you know I would do anything for you. Well almost anything," he added quickly no doubt thinking back to our earlier conversation and my request, "you're my best friend and I know if I had a chance of getting my wife back you would be right there fighting with me you know in the name of true love and all that."

Emmett picket this moment to butt in, yet again, "I hate to break up this little love-in but I thought we had a war to plan." Rosalie looked up from inspecting her perfectly manicured nails just long enough to smack him upside the head yet again and I was surprised to see Esme stand up and follow Rosalie's example by smacking him as well.

"Oh we do," Jasper said adamantly while rubbing his hands together, "we certainly do and I know just what we need. Carlisle I'm going to need you to make some phone calls and Jacob get your pups ready, we're goin' huntin'."

"Yee haw!" Emmett shouted earning him yet another slap upside the head.

* * *

Sorry it took me so freakin' long to update it was killing me but I needed a device for taking down the Volturi and just like Bella it was knocking around the back of my head for days before it suddenly hit me full force and I slapped myself for not thinking of it sooner. Anyway after this there will only be one more chapter from Bella's POV for awhile because it's about time we check in our dear miserable Masens. Please, please review they mean a lot and inspire me to keep going. Thanks!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	19. My Life For Hire

My Life for Hire

**Disclaimer: All I own is the laptop this was written on. Today's song is My Life for Hire by A Day to Remember**

I rubbed my eyes unnecessarily before closing the book in front of me. I threw my head back and sighed in exasperation catching Jacob's attention.

"Nothing?" he asked before hesitantly closing my limited edition comic book that had caught his attention.

"No," I sighed, "Nothings helping. I've been trying to distract myself from the stress by reading but the words are just a blur. All I can think about is how impossible this all is. I mean what if Eleazar is wrong and no one will help? What will we do then?"

"Bells calm down," Jake replied while coming over. He wrapped his hot arms around my frozen marble shoulders and rested his chin on top of my head. "This Eleazar guy seems to know what he's doing. From what you've told me was with the guard for many years and knows how they operate. You just have to stay positive."

I leaned over to lay my forehead on the table in front of me and sighed again in defeat. "I know. It's just …" I trailed off unable to put words to my concerns for not only Edward and Alice but also for the safety of both the pack and my family.

"Sshh …" he whispered before taking his seat and picking up his comic book again. "Everything will work out Bella, I promise."

I was tempted to scold him and tell him not to make promises he couldn't keep but I held my tongue, he was just trying to help and my pessimism wouldn't help anything. Too distracted to read I instead walked to the library window and curled up in the warm sunshine as I allowed my thoughts to drift back over the events of the past week.

After leaving La Push so the pack could get some sleep we had headed home and Carlisle had gone straight for the phone. He and Jasper had decided that our first move should be to try and enlist the help of our cousins, the Denali coven. One of their members, Eleazar, had been a part of the Volturi guard for many years. If we could get his help we would have an inside source about the workings of the guard. That, paired with Carlisle's firsthand knowledge of the personalities of the three brothers gained during his time there before changing me, would give us a definite edge as well as some much needed reinforcements.

_"Eleazar it's Carlisle."_

_ "I'm well thank you. How is your family fairing?"_

_ "Excellent. Eleazar, my friend, I need your, shall we say expertise."_

"_Well unfortunately I am unable to discuss this matter over the phone. I was hoping that you and the rest of your family would be willing to join us here in Forks for a time."_

"_Wonderful. But Eleazar, before I let you go I have one more odd request. I need you and the rest of your family to make a conscious decision to spend as much time with Bella's friend Jacob Black as possible. I'll be able to explain when you get here."_

"_Thank you my friend. I look forward to seeing you soon."_

The Denalis had arrived the next morning happy to see us but confused. As soon as they pulled up to the house and stepped out of their cars they had immediately gone on the defensive when they caught Jacob's unique wet dog scent. Jasper and Jake had decided that a member of the pack should be present at all times in an effort to further block Alice's visions as a precaution. I had suggested that Jacob stay out of sight while the Denalis were here, just in case.

"Eleazar, Carmen welcome," Esme greeted warmly while making her way down the porch steps before wrapping her arms around Carmen's stiff form.

"Esme," Carmen answered cautiously as she slowly stood erect, "it's been too long."

"It has hasn't it," Esme agreed while moving over to hug Tanya, Kate, and Irina before opening her eyes to the apparent discomfort of the rest of the Denalis who were still in defensive positions and shooting wary glances toward the house where Jacob was enjoying his third mid-morning snack. Esme sent a pleading glace in my direction begging me to explain before things got out of hand.

Unfortunately before I could explain stupid Emmett butted in, "Don't mind the smell, it's just our new dog. It's okay he's house broken, I think. Hey Jake," he shouted, "you know how to use the crapper right?"

"Screw you Emmett!" Jacob yelled back.

"Jesus Emmett," I snapped, "could you try to be serious just this once? I'm sorry," I apologized turning my attention back to the Denalis who had relaxed slightly had were wearing confused yet amused expressions on their faces, " Emmett is a moron with no sense of tact but he is right, Jacob poses no threat to any of you."

"Yeah," Emmett interrupted yet again, "he's tame. Well not tame just harmless, okay not really harmless, actually he's pretty deadly. Like he could kill you where you stand if he …"

Jasper stepped in and silenced him quickly with a punch to the face before Esme reached up and grabbed him by the ear and forcibly dragged him around the back of the house while scolding him under her breath for his lack of tact and manners. I would have felt bad if I wasn't so disgusted with him.

Obviously disgusted with our family and our inability to stay on topic for more than a minute at a time before squabbling, Carlisle reassured everyone of their safety and ushered them all into the living room. After again offering reassurances that Jacob was not going to attack everyone and would remain in the other room for the time being, he began to explain our situation with the Volturi.

After Carlisle had caught the Denalis up to speed on everything that had transpired since Rosalie and I had first met Alice in Seattle he was met with a brief moment of silence before the sobbing began. I was incredibly confused until Jasper and I found ourselves crushed under a pile of blubbering females. Apparently our story had struck a chord with the female Denalis and they were beside themselves as they tried to offer us comfort anyway they could. After a few moments I was able to break free of their embrace. I wasn't particularly interested in throwing myself another pity party and was thankful for the waves of calm Jasper was emitting.

"It's my fault," Eleazar moaned from his spot on the loveseat.

"Eleazar what are you …" Carmen asked concerned by her husband's sudden mood change.

"It's my fault," he repeated, "I'm the one who turned him." We turned our attention toward him expectantly and when the last sob subsided he continued his story. "During the early nineteen hundreds Aro sent me to the Americas to search of humans with potential for powers in an effort to strengthen the guard. Bella was actually the one to give him the idea. He was so upset about losing you and your powers that he compensated by finding as many gifted new members as he could get his hands on. After spending several years wandering aimlessly through North America I found Edward Masen dying of the Spanish Influenza in a hospital in Chicago. He was putting off a strong power signature even in his weakened state and I could tell that he would be a mind reader. I managed to bite him as he was on the verge of death, his parents having already succumbed to the disease so there would be no questions about his whereabouts. After he turned it was immediately apparent that I had been right about his gift, Aro was thrilled. After I had safely turned him over to the Volturi I took my leave of the guard, a risky maneuver."

We were all at a loss for words until Tanya spoke. "Is that why the Volturi come visit every couple of years?" Eleazar nodded his head. "I knew they weren't friendly visits," she mumbled to herself while absentmindedly twirling one of her strawberry blonde curls around her finger, "They were checking up on you weren't they."

"They were. Edward was correct when he told Bella the Volturi guard is not something you say no to. Because of Chelsea's talent it was very hard for me to leave but I had Carmen and my concern for what I was subjecting her to along with my revulsion toward Aro's little collection among other things made me strong enough to leave. Edward was my last. Seeing Aro's plans come to fruition were not something I was eager to see so we left. Aro still sends his guards to see if he can catch me breaking any arbitrary laws so that he can force me to choose between death and rejoining the guard but he's never been successful."

I couldn't help but feel more weighed down by stress and anger. How dare the Volturi send Eleazar hunting for potentially gifted humans and force them into this life for his own selfish gains. I felt the anger inside me building until Jasper sent me some powerful waves of serenity and judging from relaxed looks on everyone else's faces he was sending them waves of comfort.

Suddenly Eleazar gasped. "Jasper when did you … how did you do that?" he sputtered. Jasper quirked an eyebrow and gave him a questioning look.

"You were compartmentalizing," he explained as thought that meant something to us. Seeing the blank look on Jasper's face he continued. "You were just directing different emotions to different individuals around the room weren't you?" Jasper nodded his head in affirmation. "Last time I read your power you were only able to send emotions to a group, not to individuals and certainly not while separating yourself from the emotional climate in the room."

Jasper furrowed his brow as he thought about Eleazar's revelation before realization dawned on his face. "You're right. I didn't even realize I was doing it but come to think of it I've felt more in control of my power since coming out of my trance yesterday. When I came out of it I was more aware of everyone else's emotions but they didn't affect me. I guess I was just too distracted to pay it much mind before now," he said thoughtfully. I couldn't help but feel guilty knowing that I was the cause of the afore mentioned distraction.

"Amazing," Eleazar breathed, "I always knew that potential was there but it usually takes millennia for our powers to evolve. I've never seen it happen so fast."

"Bella's powers have grown too," added Rosalie quietly from her seat by the piano.

"Bella?" Eleazar said in disbelief turning his attention to me. "How is this possible?" he asked. "I imagine that you have found yourself able to project your shield physically around yourself haven't you."

"Um yes," I answered hesitantly as I tried to avoid thinking about the events which had led up to the discovery of the new extent of my gift.

"Astounding," he muttered sounding eerily like my father when he discovered some new human illness, "It would seem that perhaps severe stress leads to an accelerated evolution of powers. Of course more testing would have to be done. I wonder if … no. Oh my, that could be a disaster."

"I'm sorry Eleazar," said Esme coming back into the house with a repentant looking Emmett trailing quietly behind her, "I missed that, what could be a disaster?"

"Oh I'm sorry I should explain but first please do take my seat Esme," he said distractedly while guiding her to the now unoccupied armchair. "It has to do with what I was saying a few moments ago about Bella and Jasper's evolved gifts. It would seem that perhaps extreme stress and the loss of a mate caused their powers to evolve much faster than normal. It had just occurred to me that if their gifts grew than it would stand to reason that the Masens gifts may also have grown as well since they are no doubt feeling just as much stress, if not more given their predicament, as Bella and Jasper. I am concerned about what would happen if Aro were to find this out, especially to Edward."

"Why?" I cried out while jumping up from my seat, "What's wrong with Edward? He can't be in danger, he just can't," I held back a sob as Jasper sent me more soothing feelings.

Eleazar quickly strode to my side, "Bella I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sure he's fine. As all knowing as Aro is he is really quite unobservant. So long as Edward is consciously unaware of his enhanced powers everything will be alright but I must say it could complicate things a bit."

"How so?" Carlisle asked while coming over to offer me comfort by wrapping an arm protectively around my shoulders.

"Well Edward's gift currently allows him to witness the inner-workings of anyone's mind, save Bella of course, but he is only a silent observer. Given the chance to evolve his gift has the potential to allow him to actually influence the thoughts of others."

"Mind control," Carlisle whispered thoughtfully.

"Exactly, now you see why I'm concerned about Aro finding out."

"What?" Emmett shouted incredulously from his seat behind Rosalie, "why does everyone else get these cool super powers and I get nothing?" He pouted.

"I resent that," snapped Rosalie, "You have me or am I not as good as some stupid power?"

Emmett winced, "Oh no Rosie baby that's not what I meant. You're great, I mean you're perfect, I mean …" he was really searching now, "I love you Rosie. You're the most beautiful girl in the entire world," he cooed while giving her his best puppy dog eyes and I'm sure praying not to be smacked upside the head again.

"Humph," Rosalie pouted but from the look on her face it was obvious that he was forgiven. Complimenting Rosalie's looks always worked to diffuse a situation.

"But if Edward can control minds what's to stop him from getting Aro and the rest of the Volturi to do what he wants?" Kate questioned.

"Ah you see therein lies the danger. Normally when powers evolve they do so slowly, allowing a vampire time to become acquainted with their ins and outs. Take Bella as an example, when powers increase too fast they apparently become unstable and hard to control. When Carlisle first found Bella she was unaware of how to control her physical shield. She didn't know what triggered it and had a hard time retracting it. It was only after working with it constantly that she is now able to maintain it around herself for any period of time and retract it at will with minimal effort. Now given the time and some practice I have no doubt that she will be able to project her shield indefinitely and even project it far enough to encompass numerous people or objects. Likewise if Edward's powers do evolve he won't have enough time to discover and practice with them before Aro finds out and either has him destroyed because he is a threat or he begins to take hostages to ensure Edward's continued loyalty. Because of that it would be highly unlikely what his new powers would be very effective against the Volturi anytime soon."

I felt weak. If Eleazar was right than Edward was in so much danger! I had to get him out of there and now. There was no time to waste.

"We have to get them out of there!" I shouted as I began a major freak out, "We have to help them. We have to …" I suddenly found myself being crushed into my father's chest.

"We will Baby, I promise," he said soothingly, "but now we have to figure out how to go about this. Obviously talking isn't going to work so it seems like we're in for a fight," he finished grimly. Everyone sat stunned by Carlisle's easy acceptance of the necessary use of violence. My father is a pacifist by nature who normally hates to see any life go to waste but in this case he was throwing out such vicious methods of attack and torture that I have to admit I was a little scared.

We continued to sit in stunned silence until Eleazar muttered, "I have a few ideas."

After that Jacob joined the group and our strategizing began in earnest. The Denalis agreed to help us take down the Volturi and were eager to help however they could. Eleazar suggested enlisting the help of all of the other vampires and covens on Aro's list theorizing that because they live in fear of the Volturi on a day to day basis they would probably be willing to lend a hand in bringing them down so that they could exist in peace.

Jasper agreed and began keeping a list of all known former Volturi members. He also suggested enlisting the help of covens we were friendly with whom had been wronged by the Volturi in some way. Once we compiled our list we still felt that our numbers were inadequate, even with the help of the pack, for taking out so many talented vampires. It was then that Jasper made the decision to return to the South and ask his maker Maria for help, a risky maneuver as she may still hold a grudge against him for leaving, but for Alice he was willing to do anything he could.

Eventually it was decided that we would go in search of as many allies as possible. At Jacob's insistence, it was also decided that a member of the pack would accompany each member of our family to try to block Alice's visions as completely as possible as well as to lend a hand should things get ugly since everyone would be traveling alone.

After much debate Carlisle managed to convince me to stay home with Jacob in order to maintain a home base from which to greet any allies who may arrive as well as to work on strengthening my powers which could prove very useful against the Volturi. Needless to say I wasn't happy about being left behind but if improving my control over my powers meant saving Edward I would do whatever I could.

It had been a week since the meeting with the Denalis and Jacob and I are now the only ones left in Forks working on my shield and waiting anxiously for news. Jasper and Eleazar had set a deadline of three months to rally as many reinforcements as we could muster and I was counting down the minutes until I would hopefully see Edward again.

I rolled onto my back when I noticed the sun had finally set and let out another plaintive sigh.

"Really Bells you have to …" Jacob was suddenly cut off by the ringing of the doorbell.

"I'll get it!" I shouted jumping up and eagerly rushing down the stairs at warp speed. The unmistakable smell hit me as I reached for the doorknob, telling me exactly what was waiting on the other side. I hesitated momentarily before steeling myself for the inevitable and throwing the door wide open.

* * *

What did you think? Jasper's on his way to find Maria and the Cullens are paired up with wolves looking for Volturi deserters and I bet you can't guess what is on the other side of the door! Anyway as promised we will finally be seeing Edward and Alice in the next chapter. Now please show me some love and leave a comment they inspire me to write better and faster!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	20. Six Feet Under The Stars

Six Feet Under the Stars

**Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine nuff said. Today's song is Six Feet Under the Stars by All Time Low.**

EPOV

I closed my eyes and wished again for death, anything to release me from this torment. As I began to sink into my own grief Bella's painfully beautiful face sprung to the forefront of my mind reminding me that I had something, or rather someone to live for. I quickly tried my best to distract myself by counting dust motes before I sealed her fate by succumbing to my anguish. Mine and Alice's ability to function and continued loyalty to the Volturi were the only things stopping Aro from sending the guard to eradicate the Cullens.

When we first returned to Volterra Aro made sure to outline and mentally illustrate, through manipulating Alice's visions, exactly how the rest of eternity with the Volturi would play out. We would never see the Cullens nor would we try to contact them or they would be killed. We would never again leave the guard or the Cullens would be killed. We would serve the guard faithfully and without hesitation or the Cullens would be killed. We would follow a 'proper' diet without complaint or the Cullens would be killed. Basically we would be mindless subservient slaves to the Volturi for the rest of eternity in return for the safety of the Cullens. Although it was humiliating, degrading, and painful, there I was nothing I wouldn't do to ensure Bella's safety and without having to look into her mind I knew Alice felt the same way about Jasper. Aro was well aware of this and was using it to his advantage.

When we first rejoined the guard Alice's visions showed how Aro planned to slowly and mercilessly torture each member of the Cullens while Bella and Jasper were saved for last, forced to watch as their family was slowly and painfully ripped to pieces in front of them before they met their undeserved fates. Fates which employed tortures which were a thousand times worse than anything I had ever imagined. Seeing the violent deaths of our loved ones play out over and over again was quickly driving us insane since any decisions we made to try to stop the future from happening led to worse tortures for our loved ones. It was a relief when the visions began to taper off as our loyalty to the Volturi became more and more evident. Aro had succeeded in breaking us and he knew it.

We were shells of ourselves, truly the walking dead, more zombie than vampire. Alice no longer showed any emotion but apathy, her exuberance long forgotten. The shine was gone from her eyes and the bounce from her step. Her thoughts were like a desolate void of darkness and torment. Other than her visions the only semi-coherent thoughts she had these days were her memories of Jasper.

I barely managed to make it through each day by keeping my love for Bella at the forefront of my mind. I was in constant torment. It felt as though a giant hole had been punched in my chest after what I did to Bella. There was nothing I would have liked more than to curl up in a corner and rot but it was not allowed, another of Aro's rules. We were to continue to function normally and we were never to be alone so that there would be no chance for us to grieve.

I was now permanently attached to Aro's side, now more so than ever. He maintained near constant contact with me so there was no chance he would miss any thoughts Alice or I might have about breaking any rules and never passed up a chance to allow Jane to torture us. Alice was now forced to accompany Caius everywhere. Anytime he felt she did not relay a vision to him soon enough he would allow Jane to unnecessarily torture her mercilessly as punishment, it was horrendous.

I was the worst kind of monster and it killed me that Bella surely hated the very thought of me after what I did but if it kept her safe, I would do it again. I just hoped she would have a normal life, well normal for a vampire anyway. Even thought the thought caused the hole in my chest to rip itself wider open with vicious tenacity, I hoped that perhaps she would eventually find a mate and spend the rest of her forever being loved as she deserved. I only wanted the best for her but the thought of her in the arms of another was almost too much to bear. I bit back an anguished cry as I attended to my duties knowing that once Aro saw this breakdown I would be taunted mercilessly in an attempt to provoke me into doing something reckless. I was just barely managing to hang on to my sanity by a mere thread of spider silk as it was.

After I accompanied Aro on his daily inspection of the guard we returned to the throne room and a scene I pray I am never again forced to witness. Alice lay on the ground at Caius's feet screaming herself into oblivion. Knowing that this must be Jane's handiwork I endeavored to stay out of her mind as best I could lest I be burned from within as well.

"Jane," Aro chuckled with a smirk, "my pet you've had your fun. Now please allow dear Alice up before she breaks the windows with her shrieks."

Jane looked up from Alice's convulsing body with a wide eyed look of innocence and confusion so very out of place on such a demon. "Master this is not my doing."

Aro looked slightly incredulous knowing that Jane's favorite pastime was torturing others when Caius spoke up, "She speaks the truth dear brother. Jane and I were merely conversing with Alice here decided to interrupt our conversation with her screams. It was so rude that when she stops her fit I am inclined to allow Jane to play with her as punishment."

"Now now no need to be hasty," said Aro, "I'm sure we can get to the bottom of this. Edward what is she thinking?" he asked gesturing toward Alice.

I steeled myself against whatever horrors I was sure to see within Alice's mind to bring on this kind of response but was met only with blackness and disjointed feelings of helplessness and despair.

"Well boy we haven't all day. What's going on within the psychic's mind to elicit this overreaction?" Caius demanded annoyed.

I shook my head trying to make sense of what I had seen and coming up empty handed, "There's nothing there. Her mind is filled with blackness."

"I always knew she was simple minded," Jane smirked.

Aro let out an annoyed sigh while taking a step toward Alice, "It would seem my brother," he said haughtily while extending his ancient looking right hand forward, "that I once again find myself forced to take matters into my own hands." As Aro's hand connected with Alice's tormented flesh he instantly stiffened and his milky red eyes rolled back in his head before he collapsed into a heap of inky black robes.

* * *

Please don't hate me! I know this is super short and it took me forever but I needed some time to think about what comes next and I'm happy to say I've got a solution to a problem I was having. Next chapter will be from Jasper's POV, remember he decided to go to Maria! Please comment and give me some feedback! Happy New Year!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	21. Dear Maria Count Me In

Dear Maria Count Me In

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me but this story. Today's song is Dear Maria Count Me In by All Time Low. Sorry I've been taking so long between updates my muse went to Africa so I've been a little stuck.**

JPOV

As I ran her name became my constant mantra Alice, Alice, Alice … and I willed my legs to go faster. My mind was consumed by my love and devotion for her and driven by my determination to do whatever it takes to make her safe, even if it means the end of my own life.

As soon as my family decided to separate to look for help, I knew that I would have to attempt to recruit the help of Maria, my maker, my tormentor, and my former lover. We had split on somewhat less than friendly terms several decades prior when I left without a word in search for a new life, a life I had later found with Bella and the rest of the Cullens. I just hoped she wouldn't hold it against me.

Over the past few days the entire family, except for Bella whom Carlisle had to force to stay home to work on her shield and receive any help we recruited, had begun a worldwide hunt for anyone willing to stand with us against the Volturi. We were specifically looking for anyone who had suffered at the hand of the Volturi and I knew Maria was my girl. If I could get her help we stood a fighting chance.

For years, even before I was turned in the late eighteen hundreds, Maria had strived to take over as much land in the southern territories as possible by creating and training armies of bloodthirsty newborns to do her dirty work. By doing so she was able to control all of the hunting in the area. With my assistance she trained them as soldiers and disposed of them when they no longer suited our purposes, all in a never ending quest for more blood.

Maria wasn't the first to come up with the idea of creating armies of newborns to lay claim to vast territories. That distinction belonged to another vampire named Benito who had seen their potential as easy ways to eradicate entire covens without losing any more senior coven members. His idea had been picked up by many covens in the south which in turn began a violent period of vampire history know as the Southern Vampire Wars. Not a very imaginative name but it was straight forward enough.

After a time the wars got out of control, as most wars tend to do, and the humans began to notice. They of course blamed it on mundane occurrences such as illness when entire villages were being wiped out over night. The gluttonous ways of the warring covens threatened to expose us to the humans so the Volturi were forced into action. Contingents of the guard began to systematically sweep through the south destroying any and all newborns as well as any covens found harboring them. I personally was fortunate enough never to have gotten caught but I once met another vampire who witnessed the Volturi descending on Monterrey and the description he gave of the events that transpired was grotesque.

Over the years, Maria had lost a lot of territory in the wars due to the caution the Volturi forced her to exercise as well as the number of talented newborns she was forced to destroy in an effort to remain off their radar. For that she had always held a grudge. A grudge I hoped for the sake of our cause had festered into full blown hatred and a desire for revenge. If I could convince Maria to join our fight against the Volturi not only would we be gaining her alliance but also the assistance of her army and any other covens who were currently allied to her.

On the flip side, I knew that if we were successful in our campaign there could be hell to pay in the future if the southern covens were suddenly allowed to run rampant but that was an obstacle I would face when I came to it. For now I was worried only for the safety of Alice and the rest of my family knowing full and well that we were precariously balanced on the edge of a knife and it would take an event as simple as the flapping of butterfly's wings on the other side of the world to push us toward our deaths.

Currently Paul and I were passing through the Oklahoma Panhandle on our search for Maria. At Jacob's insistence we had all paired up with members of the wolf pack. I had quickly agreed that this was an excellent strategy to attempt to hinder Alice's visions knowing that her thoughts were surely being monitored by the Volturi and the element of surprise was one of the only things we had working for us at the moment.

Because of my gift for controlling emotions I had gotten stuck with Paul, the most volatile member of the pack and I was finding it quite hard at times to keep his emotions in check. I wondered how the rest of my family was fairing. Last I heard Carlisle was working his way through northern Asia with Sam while Esme was in southern Asia with Leah. Rosalie and Emmett were paired with Quil and Seth and were working their way through Africa. Meanwhile the Denali's were paired with other members of the pack and were making their way through North and South America. I was unsure how much progress they had been able to make but I prayed that they would find help even if I failed.

From old rumors I had heard from nomads who had passed through Forks recently, I knew Maria was somewhere in the southwestern United States fighting yet another war for territory. That was so typical for Maria, she was always looking for bigger and better hunting grounds, concerned only with quenching her unquenchable thirst.

As we ran through the prairie I caught the scent of several newborns and immediately adjusted our course to follow their trail. Where there is a concentration of newborns there was sure to be Maria. As the scent grew stronger I heard the oversized wolf at my side let out a disgusted snort at the smell and sent him waves of calm to try to avoid him doing something rash causing any unnecessary confrontations.

As we crested the Jemez Mountains in New Mexico a few hours later, the smell became far more concentrated and I knew without a doubt that we were close. I slowed my pace so that I could formulate a plan for making contact with Maria and her army. I knew the first thing I had to do was lose the dog. Paul had been fairly calm, for Paul that is, over the past few hours but I knew it wouldn't take much to set him or the newborns off which would undoubtedly lead to a fight, something I was desperate to avoid at all costs as they would surely overpower us with numbers alone. No it was better that I left him here, close enough to block Alice's visions and provide backup should it become necessary, yet far enough away to hopefully not cause trouble.

When we came upon a stand of Cottonwoods near enough to hear the not so discrete sounds of newborns in the distance, I stopped and motioned for him to go change so we could talk. Moments later, a bare chested and annoyed looking Paul emerged from the trees.

"Well, what now bloodsucker?" He sneered.

"Well pup now you're going to stay here while I go try to get help. Can you do that?"

Paul rolled his eyes and let out an irritated huff, "Whatever leech. Just don't fuck up, I don't want to have to save your sparkly ass." He turned on his heel to go change in case his assistance was needed.

As he stalked back through the trees in wolf form I willed myself to remain calm toward Paul and his grating behavior before saying, as civilly as possible, "Good boy, maybe if you behave I'll bring you a treat when I get back, now heel." Okay so maybe I wasn't so civil but this guy was a real piece of work and he was grating on my last nerve. He let out a warning growl but by then I was already gone and rapidly making my way downwind of the newborns in an effort to keep them as calm and unaware of my presence as possible.

As I neared the encampment I could feel the waves of excitement and bloodlust radiating outward and was thankful that I had gained enough control over my ability not to be influenced by the emotions of others. I sent calming waves of lethargy over the entire camp, listening for sounds of decreased activity before stepping out into the open.

I found myself standing outside of a small cabin hidden deep in the woods with a rundown barn nearby. Judging by the noise and smell I knew immediately that the newborns were being housed in the barn while Maria had apparently taken up residence in the cabin.

I hadn't taken two steps forward before the door to the cabin flew open and Maria came strolling out wearing a look of satisfaction.

"Well well, if it isn't Jasper Whitlock, I would know your manly stink anywhere. You know I should kill you where you stand for leaving me like you did," she pointed a finger accusingly in my direction and I began to mentally strategize a plan for escape should things go south. "You left me in a heap of trouble and without so much as a goodbye. I thought what we had was special," she let out a pathetic sniffle that I knew without even having to use my abilities was a complete lie, "but I guess not."

"Maria," I replied with a nod as I tried to calm the tension, "it's been a long time."

"Well now it certainly has but it appears that now you're back for more. I always knew that it was only a matter of time before you saw the error of your ways and came back to me," she purred striding toward me with a saucy sway of her hips. I bit back a groan at this over the top display which at one time during my years before Alice would have turned me on. "A lifestyle like ours isn't one you can just quit cold turkey now is it Major?"She asked seductively.

Not wanting to prolong her obvious misunderstanding as to the reason for my presence, I spoke up, "Maria I …" Suddenly I found myself unexpectedly silenced when she pressed her perfectly manicured finger to my lips.

Looking up at me through her long black lashes with her crimson eyes she refused to let me speak. "Now now Major darling, the time for talking is over. I should be so very put out with you and your callous behavior but I just can't find it in my heart of hearts not to forgive you but understand this Major, this time things will be different. You've had your chance to sow your wild oats but that time is over, you belong to me now," she growled before leaning in wrongly assuming that I wanted to kiss her.

I had felt her emotions building as she talked and knew when they hit a fever pitch I decided that it was time for me to really exert my influence. As Maria leaned forward puckering her lips slightly I sent her an overwhelming wave of repulsion, trying to counteract her lust.

"Ugh," she groaned wrinkling her nose and quickly straightening up, "On second thought maybe not." She brushed her long black hair over her shoulder. "What was I thinking? And what's wrong with your eyes? You really look like a freak you know." Yeah says the one with the bloody red eyes, I thought, 'cause that's so very normal and attractive.

"I've been told," I replied coolly while sending her subtle feelings of calm and cooperativeness, "Actually Maria that's part of the reason I'm here." She gave me a wary and confused look while stepping back to size me up. After a moment of scrutiny she motioned for me to continue. "Perhaps we could continue this inside," I suggested, "I have quite a long story to tell you and I would like you to be as comfortable as possible while I do so."

I knew that we could stand where we were for years and never be uncomfortable but I had been living around humans for so long that things like sitting down to talk had become normal for me. Maria looked at me as though I had lost my marbles and I'm sure once she heard my story she would be certain that I had but no matter.

"Alright then Major but no funny business. I could have you torn apart before you can take two steps." I nodded my head in ascent before following her into the cabin.

When I walked through the heavily warped wooden door I immediately notice that there was nothing even remotely personal anywhere in the cabin. It was obvious from the smell that Maria had been here for a time but there were no personal effects other than a few pieces of clothing to be found. It was a stark contrast to my family's house back in Forks. Esme always dedicated so much of her time and put so much care into making wherever we were living feel like a home worthy of her family's presence.

I reflected momentarily on how different my past life was to the one I chose to live now and how fortunate I was to have been found by Bella. Before I met the Cullens, Maria and I had moved from town to town living a life of violence concerned only with satisfying our most primal of needs. There was never any chance to put down roots or form more than a physical relationship with anyone. Now of course I had a family complete with loving parents and wonderful siblings. All that was missing was my love and my newest brother.

Glancing around I chose a seat on a battered leather recliner while Maria chose to sit on the love seat across the room. I concentrated on soothing Maria's building feelings of suspicion and after she began to visibly relax I began my story. I began by telling her about my life after leaving her. I summarized my time with Peter and Charlotte and my chance meeting Bella in the diner. After a few questions I continued telling her about my life with the Cullens and our chosen diet when she interrupted my story.

"This is all fine and dandy Jasper and may say quite an amusing story but I'm confused. If your life with these Cullens is so damn wonderful why are you here? You obviously don't plan on rejoining me or changing your diet back to a more natural one so why the surprise visit?"

"Ah yes," I said while rubbing the back of my neck, a left over human trait much like Edward's obsessive need to run his hands through his hair or Bella's compulsion to bite her lip when she's worried or nervous. I was slightly unsure of how to tell Maria about Alice and my need for her help but I decided that my best bet would just be to lay it all out, Maria is notorious for killing liars or anyone she feels is being deceptive and I was certain Paul and I wouldn't make it out of here alive should she decide to allow her newborns to attack. I sent out extreme feelings of understanding and compassion to Maria while continuing to inundate the newborns with feelings of calm as I had since I got within range.

I took a deep breath and told Maria about Alice and Edward. I told her about my feelings for Alice and my desire to spend the rest of eternity by her side. I then told her about the Volturi and what they had done. I even detailed my existence without Alice in my life and how Bella had pulled me out of my coma by going to the wolves. I left out our plan to start an uprising against the Volturi deciding that it would be best to first see her reaction and then tell her of our plan in Paul's presence.

At the end of my story the unfamiliar feelings of sympathy radiating off of Maria were welcome yet unexpected. In all my years with Maria she had never once felt sympathy for anyone or anything yet now her feelings were unmistakable.

Maria closed her eyes and took an unnecessary deep breath in an effort to collect herself before she spoke. When she did her voice was uncharacteristically soft, "Jasper I'm so sorry, I never … I'm sorry."

I was speechless, just as Maria had never felt sympathy she had never once truly apologized for anything, ever. I couldn't help but peer more closely at her certain that I had the wrong vampire sitting in front of me. A quick once over and a sniff just to be sure assured me that this was in fact the right Maria.

"Oh don't look so surprised," she snapped letting me know this was definitely Maria, "I can feel compassion, I just choose not to. Now thank you for telling me your story but I still don't understand why you're here."

"Before I answer that I believe we need to go meet up with my travel companion if you don't mind. Then I can explain everything." Maria rose quickly and was by the door in the blink of an eye.

"Alright Major I'll meet your friend but I don't understand why you don't call them here."

"Yes well I'm sure you'll understand my desire not to upset any of your … friends in the stable. You see my companion is not like us."

"A human?" she gasped bring her hand to her chest in shock, "Jasper you are traveling with a human!"

"No, no," I interjected quickly feeling the newborns begin to get riled up when they overheard the word human, "not a human, well I mean he is kind of human but not exactly …"

"One of the wolves!" she screeched once she worked it out. "How could you willingly travel with such a filthy dog?"

"Trust me darlin' it ain't easy but it's necessary." She gave me a quizzical look that begged an explanation but I wasn't taking any chances of getting caught by Alice's visions and blowing any chance I had of getting her back. "I'll explain everything when we get there but for now ma' dear please trust me to keep you safe and come hear what I have to say."

Maria looked torn but after a moment of hesitation she nodded her head in ascent. "First following such an unnatural diet and now hanging out with werewolves. What is this world coming to?" she muttered under her breath. "Alright I'll go, for old times' sake but I'm warning you Major, no funny business."

"You have my word." She gave me a hard look as though to warn me against double crossing her before she turned and held open the door waiting for me to lead the way back to Paul.

After a short run we reached the Cottonwood grove where I had left Paul I was met with a very irritated wolf, Paul is not known for his patience. As soon as Maria came into view he raised his hackle and let out a warning growl.

"Down Fido," Maria sneered while wrinkling her nose in disgust at Paul's wet dog smell. I really couldn't blame her, he did stink to high heaven but her condescending attitude toward him wasn't going to help anything.

"It's alright Paul, she's the one we've been looking for." He relaxed slightly in response but still kept his guard up and I knew he would be unwilling to change and help me with explaining our plan, luckily I had done most of the strategizing with some input from the others so I was intimately familiar with our plan of attack.

"Well Major you got me here, now care to explain why my gracing this mutt with my presence is so damn important?"

"Of course of course," I replied hastily, "Let me begin by again thanking you for coming out here to listen to what I have to say." I could feel that she was beginning to lose her patience so I decided to cut to the chase knowing that being blunt with Maria was going to be my best option. "Maria we've decided to take out the Volturi and I, I mean we," I corrected with a glance at Paul, "need your help." The look of shock on her porcelain face was priceless. I paused for a moment, letting what I had just said set in before continuing. "They have overstepped their bounds one too many times and now they have forcibly taken both Alice and Edward and I'm sure are monitoring Alice's visions looking for an excuse to eradicate my family and all of our allies. That is why I needed you to come to Paul, the wolves block Alice's visions and have agreed to stand with us. This can't go on, Maria they have to be stopped and I'm sure you feel similarly as I am aware that in the past they -"

"I'll do it and I can guarantee you the help and support of both my newborns and my allies here in the south," Maria declared decidedly interrupting my speech.

"Wha … What?" I stuttered surprised by her quick decision to join in our campaign which could admittedly go very badly and end with the brutal deaths of all involved.

"I said we'll do it Major," she replied before squaring her shoulders and jutting her chin forward determinedly, "I've been waiting years to take out those bastards and this is my chance. No way in hell am I going to pass up this chance. They will pay for what they've done but I do have one request."

Ah I knew this was coming. She's going to want to be allowed to take over the Southwest. I was really hoping this would come up later. What can I say? Carlisle will be so unhappy if I agree but I really don't think I have a choice.

"I want to be the one to take out Felix."

What the hell? That's it? All she wants is to take out Felix?

"Done," I agreed putting out a hand for her to shake. She stepped forward eagerly never taking her eyes off of Paul and placed her tiny hand in my much larger one. After giving a firm shake I took a step back and let my curiosity get the best of me. "May I ask one question?"

"You just did but go ahead," she answered with a smirk.

"Why Felix?"

She furrowed he brow and I felt a brief shock of pain and heartbreak before she recovered her composure and masked her feelings. "It's a long story, one which I'm unwilling to really get into and I will never repeat, so don't ask. About fifty years before I found you I too had a mate stolen from me by the Volturi as he was talented. His name was Diego but he was not as fortunate as your Alice. When they came for him he refused to leave and a fight ensued. After a brief battle they tortured and burned him. I had been away hunting and when I returned all I found was a pile of ashes. I later learned from a nomad who had been passing through at the time that Felix was the member of the guard who had slowly tortured Diego before burning him alive."

The look of anguish on her face was heartbreaking and her feelings were tortuous. I was thankful I had learned to compartmentalize otherwise her anguish coupled with my own would surely be enough to cripple me once again. Suddenly Maria's reaction toward my story made sense. It reminded her so much of her own that it was impossible for her not to feel for me. It also made me wonder how I had never picked up on these feelings before. It really made me wonder how I had never picked up on any of these feelings coming from her before.

"Now Major, you and your mutt will never repeat what I have just told you or I will destroy you. Do you understand?"

"You have my word," I promised solemnly and from the corner of my eye I saw Paul dip his head in agreement.

"Alright then what do you need me to do?"

* * *

To make up for the last short chapter I wrote you an extra long one which I hope you enjoyed as it was a bit fluffy. The next chapter will be from Edwards POV again and we will find out more about what's wrong with Alice. Also for those of you who asked there will be some nice Carlisle and Bella moments coming in the next few chapters and we will finally find out who is on the other side of the door! Until next time please review and let me know what you think!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	22. My Apocalypse

My Apocalypse

**Disclaimer: Twilight still isn't mine, just in case you're wondering. Today's song is My Apocalypse by Escape the Fate.**

EPOV

As soon as Aro hit the ground the throne room erupted into chaos. Jane was immediately at her favorite master's side but was quickly pushed aside when Caius ordered Felix to carry him upstairs to his chambers. As Felix hoisted his master up, Aro began to repeated incessantly, "Omnia iam fient quae posse negabam," which is Latin for 'Everything which I used to say could not happen will happen now'. Caius and Aro's personal shield Renata hastened after Felix's retreating form leaving behind an extremely apathetic Marcus and a distraught Jane as well as several other members of the guard.

In all of the confusion Alice lay momentarily forgotten on the floor and I was able to quietly ghost to her side. Picking her up, I cradled her small body to my chest and tried to sooth her cries. Whatever she and Aro had witnessed was causing her so much pain and I felt helpless.

Steeling myself for the worst I prepared to again enter her mind afraid of what I might find this time around. I briefly registered that normally I would not need to forcibly enter her mind as thoughts as loud as the ones she was surely projecting would be screaming around in my mind but quickly pushed those thoughts aside for later examination as my only concern at the moment was Alice's wellbeing.

As I pushed myself into Alice's mind I was again met with the blackness and feelings of overwhelming helplessness and despair. I was unsettled by the lack of coherent thoughts running through Alice's mind. Even Jasper's ever present face was nowhere to be found. It was as though a nuclear bomb had detonated, destroying everything in its wake. I felt as though I was witnessing the aftermath of the Apocalypse but still I couldn't find a reason for Aro's violent reaction.

Suddenly, Alice was brutally wrenched from my arms and throw in a heap across the cold marble floor where she crashed into a pillar causing minor structural damage as fragments of stone rained down upon her.

"What did your bitch do to my master?" Jane screamed before releasing the full brunt of her powers on my mind. I couldn't hold back my screams of agony as I felt the flames, a thousand times hotter than the fire of transformation, licking at my mind. My body contorted unnaturally as I fought to get away from the burn but there was no escape. I felt as though I were being barbecued on the sun.

_Stop! Please for the love of God have mercy!_ I screamed in my mind. Amazingly the pain subsided as quickly as it had come and after a few moments I was able to stand on my own.

"What?" Jane sputtered, "Why did … how did? You!" she growled as she sunk into a defensive crouch.

I held up my hands unsure of what was happening. I quickly pushed myself into Jane's mind in an effort to find some answers.

_Why did I stop? What's going on? First I was burning him. It felt so good and then nothing … I had no intention of stopping, I don't understand why I stopped but they must pay for what they have done to my master._

I saw Jane's plan to attack a defenseless Alice a moment before she leapt and I was able to catch her mid-air before I was again brought to my knees by her hell fire, unable to escape. As the intensity of the flames inside my mind grew the volume of my screams increased tenfold, doing what nothing in my ninety years in Volterra had ever done. I caught the attention of Marcus. Rising from his throne where he had been residing in a perpetual state of apathetic disinterest, the ancient vampire ordered Jane to desist.

Jane immediately ceased her torture while looking shocked at receiving any sort of response from Marcus. I saw from her thoughts that she had never seen anything catch his interest in all of her time with the Volturi either. In fact she had hardly ever heard him speak and never to anyone other than Caius and occasionally Aro.

"M… Master," she stuttered unsure of how to respond to a command from Marcus.

"I'm believe you are needed elsewhere. Surely your presence will bring comfort to my dear brother," Marcus responded in a flat monotone.

"Of course master," Jane replied with a solemn nod before she scampered off to Aro's chambers. How anyone could be comforted by the spawn of Satan is beyond me.

My curiosity as to the sudden change in Marcus' behavior got the better of me as I pushed my way into his mind. I had of course been here before since it is my job to monitor everyone's thoughts and even though that didn't really include the brothers I had never been able to choose who's mind to invade, until now.

As I entered Marcus's mind I was caught off guard. Normally his mind was filled with a strange misty haze I had attributed to his age, much like the filminess of his eyes. Now it seemed as though some of the haze was dissipating making his thoughts much clearer. What caught my attention were his clear concern for Alice and my wellbeing. I tried to dig deeper into his conscious before the haze returned with a vengeance, making his thoughts harder to read and I was forced to withdraw from his mind in defeat.

I couldn't help but momentarily gaze at Marcus in awe before quickly returning to Alice's side. He was the first of the brothers or anyone in Volterra, other than Alice, to ever express any concern for someone other than themselves or the law without having an underlying motive. From what I had seen through the mist he had no motive, just genuine concern for Alice and I. It was so very strange.

By the time I returned to Alice's side her screams had ceased. She was now in a seemingly catatonic state, staring blindly at the ancient stone wall in front of her through unseeing eyes. I had just pulled her into a sitting position when Caius and Jane strode back into the room, their black cloaks billowing out around them like clouds of darkness.

"Now master? May I play with the mind reader now?" She pleaded her eyes wide and deceivingly innocent.

"Now yet my pet, have patience," he purred. "Now is not the time to play my dear. We need the mind reader to reverse the damage his little psychic has inflicted upon my brother."

"Yes master," Jane huffed dejectedly sorry her fun had been spoiled before asking hopefully, "but what of the psychic master? Surely I can play with her."

"All in good time my dear. Right now I would like you to escort the mind reader to Aro's chambers, without using your gift," he added quickly squashing the demonic smirk that had take up residence on Jane's angelic face. "As for the psychic Santiago will take good care of her while she is confined in the dungeon, without blood, until this matter is resolved."

"Of course master. Demetri bring him," she snapped before quickly turning on her heel and marching off in the direction from which she came.

I couldn't find the strength to struggle against Demetri's iron grasp as I was led toward Aro's quarters. Before we rounded the corner I chanced a fleeting glance at Alice being thrown over Santiago's shoulder and carried off. I let out a low warning growl and was rewarded by being cuffed upside the head by Demetri. After trudging up several flights of stairs we came upon Aro's ostentatiously ornate door, Caius at our heels.

The Volturi had some of the gaudiest taste of any vampires I had ever met using as many priceless artifacts and tacky gothic relics as possible. It was such a contrast to Esme's sophisticated yet modern taste.

I bit back a pained moan as the whole in my chest split wider open at any thought of the Cullens. They were always on my mind, especially Bella, but lately I've tried not to purposely think of anything more than their faces. Aro is already cross and needs very little provocation before he finds a reason to attack.

"Alright freak," Jane hissed as she turned to face me, "you had better fix what that bitch did to him or I will not be held responsible for my actions," she commanded with a sneer.

I took a deep breath knowing that if I couldn't raise Aro the Cullens, as well as both Alice and myself, would no doubt be tortured and killed. I hesitantly pushed my mind into Aro's. I was unprepared for the chaos that immediately assaulted me. I steeled myself by thinking of my Bella's sweet smile and pushed my way further into his thoughts, looking for some clue as to what was going on to cause such a reaction from both him and Alice.

At first the images were too much and too fast as he repeated unintelligible phrases in Latin and what I assumed was ancient Italian over and over again. After a time I was finally able to figure out that what I was seeing, was what appeared to be snippets of Alice's vision but it was happening so fast and in such strange flashes it was hard to make much sense of it. As I continued to watch I kept catching glimpses of numerous vampires and covens, some I knew and others I didn't.

The vision would begin to play out as any of Alice's other visions of the future but then everything would suddenly go black before flashing to the next group. It made no sense at first but as I watched the scenes repeat themselves over and over again with different vampires it finally dawned on me, the reason their futures suddenly went black was because they had no future. They were being wiped out and at an alarming rate.

I now knew why Aro was so distraught. For so many nomads and entire covens to be eradicated so quickly there must be a powerful force at work, perhaps powerful enough to take out the Volturi. As I watched I began to look for any clue as to what was happening in the outside world. The only commonality I found was that in each vision the doomed looked almost relaxed as they spoke to someone just out of range of the vision before they blinked out of existence.

Whatever it was that was causing these events is obviously something or someone whom these vampires trusted, a thought that was even more disturbing. I began to withdraw from Aro's mind when a new segment of the vision caught my attention. It was of the Cullens.

The vision showed Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper looking completely distraught. I barely had time to notice that Bella was nowhere to be found when suddenly their futures also suddenly blinked out of existence. I let out a howl of pain as I wrenched myself from Aro's mind before I collapsed in a ball on the floor not caring what they did to me now.

The Cullens were gone and with them my hope for a family. I felt a brief flutter of hope when I remembered that Bella was not included in the vision but squashed it knowing that if the Cullens looked that distraught it probably meant that my love had been the first to meet her end. I let out another gut wrenching howl of pain before I felt myself being pulled to my feet and thrown against a wall with Demetri's hand around by throat.

"What did you see?" Caius demanded forcefully.

I didn't answer, instead I let out a broken sob for everything I had just lost.

"I command you to tell me what you saw!" Jane screamed before releasing her power on me yet again.

This time I welcomed the pain. Nothing could hurt me now that my love was dead. I deserved to burn for all of eternity for my sins. My poor Bella had died thinking that I didn't love her and for that I was the worst kind of monster. I must be punished.

"Fine," Jane spat her tone laced with venom. "We'll play your way. We have other ways of making you talk. Come Demetri, bring the mind reader. I think it's time I got to play with his little sister don't you think?" she asked sweetly.

The haze that had begun to take over my mind, much like the haze I had found within Marcus's mind, was temporarily lifted as I was snapped back into the real world by the mention of Alice. Alice still needed me. I must do whatever it takes to protect her. She is all I have left.

"I … I saw," I mumbled, "I saw the blackness. It blinked everything out of existence. They're gone, they're all gone. I'm a monster."

"He's speaking in riddles. I haven't time for this. Come let's find his sister."

"No," I begged, "No please I'll do anything just please, let her alone."

"Alright," Caius agreed putting a hand on Demetri's arm and motioning for him to release his hold on me. "We'll leave the psychic alone, for now. Now tell us what you saw."

"I saw, I saw covens, entire covens just blinked out of existence. One by one nomads and entire covens are being eradicated, their futures have suddenly disappeared. There is no explanation for it, they're just gone," I finished in a whisper.

"What do you mean just gone?" Caius demanded.

I took a breath as I tried to collect myself for Alice's sake. "I mean they're dead, they no longer have futures. Something or someone is killing them. They're all … they're all gone," I choked.

Caius and Jane stared at me in disbelief unsure of whether to believe me or not when Aro roused himself from the prison of his mind and answered for me.

"The mind reader speaks the truth," he uncharacteristically rasped from his bed. "They are gone. All those who have gone against us have ceased to exist,"

"Well brother this is cause for celebration!" Caius crowed as he strode to Aro's side and presented his hand. He pausing momentarily his smile faltering slightly, "All of our enemies are gone my brother yet you are not overjoyed. Why is that?"

Aro sat up fully before swinging his legs out of the bed and standing. "Do not be worried brother," he assured, "I am overjoyed to see the end come to those who have dared stand against us but I am wary. Something powerful has eliminated our enemies and I worry that we are next. I never thought I would see something like this come to pass."

"Courage my brother, there is no force great enough to stand against us. Surely this mysterious force of which you speak will ally itself with us. Why else would it do us such a favor as to destroy our enemies?"

"Of course, of course dear Caius. You are correct. Please forgive me and my senseless worries. Let us worry no more about this trivial matter," Aro finished with a heavy sigh.

"Master," Jane spoke quietly from her post at the end of the bed where she had been standing quietly throughout their exchange, "Master if I may. All of our enemies have been eliminated but I can't help but notice that you seem to have a heavy heart."

"My dear, sweet Jane," Aro sighed, "you are such a comfort to me. Worry yourself not over me. It is simply an aftereffect of entering the psychic's mind. I shall recover momentarily I was just unprepared to suffer the loss of her mate alongside of her."

"Ah," Jane replied, "You mean the Cullens have met their end as well. That is too bad I was so looking forward to having my fun with them, especially the mind reader's mate. Oh well, no matter I shall play with his sister instead," she finished before earning indulgent smiles from both Aro and Caius and skipping off to torture Alice.

They watched her go before sharing a knowing look and turning their focus back to where I was trying in vain to support myself by leaning against a corner.

"Now Edward, my dear boy," Aro crooned, "I must say I am sorry for your loss but it really is for the best is it not brother?" he asked turning to Caius.

"Oh yes most definitely a good thing," Caius agreed adamantly, "a woman like that could only bring you trouble. You would do well to put her out of your mind entirely. Perhaps choose a more suitable mate from one of our guard," he suggested.

I felt my chest heave as I fought to stay in control of myself. I wanted nothing more than to attack them and force them to feel a fraction of the torment I was experiencing but my devotion for Alice held me back. I knew that if I were to attack Demetri would not think twice before tearing me to shreds but if I were to be destroyed there would be no one to care for Alice and although I am a selfish creature I could not abandon her to these monsters.

Aro watched the emotions play out across my face with an amused expression. "Ah well perhaps you will heed my brother's advice in time young Edward. But for now Demetri will return you to your quarters. Demetri," he snapped, "please deposit our young friend in his quarters immediately and stand guard outside of his door, I should not like to have anything unfortunate befall him. I shall let Jane have her fun for awhile longer before releasing sweet Alice from the dungeon." With that he swept out of the room with Renata and Caius hot on his heels.

As Demetri again clamped onto my arm with his iron grip I felt my legs give out as the hole in my chest exploded outward like a supernova before collapsing into a black hole and consuming me entirely. I went slack in his grip and had to be dragged to my chambers where I was tossed inside with little effort. I couldn't find it in me to care. My entire world had been destroyed in one fell swoop and with it my desire to live.

* * *

I really hope you enjoyed reading this chapter and were thinking like I was, about how the Volturi are going to get it when the Cullens come for them. Please review and let me know if you like what direction this story is going so far. I promise you have no idea what twists I have in store for our heroes but they're some big ones. Anyway please drop me a line.

XOXO,

Bellarella

P.S. I wrote this chapter while drinking lattes at the coffee house where they shoot scenes for the show In Plain Sight and I just want to let people know how freaking' cool that is. You may not be impressed but I sure as heck am.


	23. We've Had Enough

We've Had Enough

**Disclaimer: Today's song is We've Had Enough by Alkaline Trio and neither the song nor Twilight belong to me.**

BPOV

As I wrenched open the offending door with a tad bit more force than necessary, I repeated internally, "Stay calm, think happy thoughts, stay calm, think happy thoughts."

As soon as the door swung open the musty smell of the ancients assaulted my delicate senses. Standing on my doorstep were two of the oldest and most feared vampires in existence, the Romanians. I plastered a forced smile on my face unsure of why they were here.

Vladimir and Stefan were members of an ancient coven that once ruled over the vampire world before they were unseated in a brutal battle with the Volturi in which the rest of their coven perished. Both possessed the papery skin similar to the Volturi but unlike the ancient Italian brothers their eyes were bright red rather than being covered in a milky film. Carlisle and I once spent a year with them in Eastern Europe during the early eighteen hundreds and

"Dear Isabella," Stefan crowed before pushing his way past me to enter the house, "it's been far too long my child, far, far too long."

"Vladimir, Stefan," I replied tersely, "to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?"

"We've come to join your little army of course," Vladimir answered clapping his hands together excitedly, "You didn't think we'd let you have all the fun now did you?"

"I … How? What?" I sputtered at a loss for words.

"Ah young one," Stefan said in the whispery voice belonging only to the ancients, "we know what you're planning and naturally we want in. We don't care why you're doing it but personally we've been biding our time for centuries waiting to exact our revenge for unseating us and destroying our coven a millennia ago."

"You didn't think you could pay our dear friend Aro a visit without us did you Isabella?" Vladimir interjected with a smirk. "Come now, surely you know us better than that my dear."

My mouth dropped open. How had word of what we were planning spread so quickly? If the Romanians knew what was going down than maybe the Volturi did too … Oh god what are we going to do? We aren't ready to stand against them and now it's only a matter of time before they attack!

"My dear your mother had really outdone herself this time," Stefan mused while admiring the house's interior from where we stood in the foyer, "but what is that disgusting smell? Surely it is not a side-effect of your family's unusual diet?"

"I … it's … I."

"Do you see what we've done to sweet Isabella brother?" Vladimir chuckled. "She is so appreciative of our alliance that she has been rendered speechless."

I mentally shook myself as I processed what had just happened. "Did Carlisle send you?' I asked my voice unsure.

"No one sent us," Stefan answered in a deep whispery voice.

"Then what brings you here?"

"Word travels," Vladimir answered in a voice just a feathery as Stefan's. "We heard hints that the Volturi had moved against you. There were whispers that you would not stand alone. Obviously," he continued with a glance upstairs where the steady throbbing of Jacob's inhuman heart could be heard, "judging by your reaction and the smell I now recognize as belonging to a shifter, the whispers are true."

"We don't care what you did," Stefan supplied, "and we don't care if you broke the law."

"As we said before we've been waiting a millennium and a half for the Italian scum to be challenged," Vladimir explained. "If there is any chance they will fall, we will be there to see it. We have waited so long for a gathering like the one you are orchestrating. We have prepared for so long and now our eyes are bright and shrewd while theirs are milky and convoluted from sitting still of so long that they have begun to turn to stone while they contemplate their divinity. Ours are bright and will serve us well when we gouge theirs from their sockets."

Stefan nodded in agreement before he whispered darkly, "Personally I should like to light the first match. I have long imagined their tortured screams as I repay them for destroying our castle and casting us aside by burning them alive."

I tried to repress the shudder that ran through me. For centuries I had been creeped out by the ancient Romanians simply because of the strange vibes they gave off coupled with their papery skin and odd smell but now I found them both creepy and fairly terrifying.

"Enough about us Isabella," Vladimir said with a dreamy sigh as he no doubt imagined, vividly I'm sure, the death screams of the Volturi, "what is it that you and your lovely family have planned?"

"I … well…" I trailed off unsure of what to say when I was saved by the wolf.

"Bella," Jacob called his voice drifting downstairs, "is everything alright?"

"Yeah Jake, it's just some old friends," I called before turning back to the Romanians. I quickly decided that I needed to talk to Jacob about what to do before I answered any more questions. We hadn't expected any others to join us in our battle against the Volturi and I was unsure of what to do, afraid to make any rash and potentially fatal decisions. "I'm sorry," I said with a forced smile while turning to the Romanians and channeling my best Esme, "but it if you'll just excuse me for a moment I have something I need to attend to. In the mean time please make yourselves comfortable."

I flashed another false smile before turning and swiftly making my way upstairs to a nervously pacing and very agitated Jacob.

"Who are they Bella?"

"The Romanians," I replied in a whisper, "I'll tell you more but first we need to get out of hearing range." Jacob frowned, confused by my demeanor but nodded his head in agreement. "Alright then age before beauty," I joked quietly trying to lighten the mood for both of our benefit, while opening the library window and indicating that he was to jump. Again Jake gave me a confused look but complied with my request.

I watched Jake jump from the window and land quietly in Esme's garden before turning and looking back expectantly for me. I glanced around before lithely jumping from the window and running into the surrounding forest as soon as my feet hit the ground. When I reached the river at the end of our property I stopped and waited a moment for Jacob to catch up.

"Alright Bells what's up? Who are they?" Jacob demanded before plopping himself down on a nearby boulder.

I ran my hand nervously through my hair before answering, "They're the Romanian coven, Stephan and Vladimir to be exact. They've come to join the fight."

"That's great! Right?" Jacob asked unsure of the reason for my nervous expression and lack of enthusiasm.

"Well yeah," I replied trailing off, "except that we didn't ask them to join."

"You didn't … what do you didn't ask them to join the fight? How did they find out?"

"Honestly Jake I'm not sure and that's what worries me. They say they heard whispers that we are planning on making a stand after being wronged by the Volturi and they want in."

Jacob stayed silent for a moment before saying anything. "Well Bells," he began slowly, "while it worries me that they heard these so called whispers I am curious as to why they are so eager to join up. I mean for all they know this could be a suicide mission. You don't think they could be working as spies for the Volturi do you?"

I couldn't help the sarcastic chuckle that escaped my lips. "No Jake," I said with a shake of my head, "I'm certain they aren't working with the Volturi. No one has been as at odds with the Volturi as the Romanians, ever. They take hate to a whole new level." I remembered the ancient vampire's descriptions of what means of torture they hoped to use and shivered involuntarily.

"Well Bells I'm really not sure what to do," Jake said with a heavy sigh, "maybe we should give your dad a call and see what he has to say. He has met these vampires before right?"

"Oh yeah," I replied with a grimace remembering Carlisle and my time in Eastern Europe over a hundred years ago, "he's met them alright."

"Okay well then what are you waiting for? Get your old man on the phone."

I rolled my eyes but refrained from pointing out just how much older Jacob was than my father while I pulled my cell phone from the back pocket of my jeans. I flipped it open and quickly dialed Carlisle's number before hitting send. I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for my call to connect. The phone rang twice before it was answered by the startlingly comforting voice of my father.

"Hello."

"Hi Dad."

"Hello sweetheart. How are you? Is everything alright?" he asked concern lacing his tone.

"Yeah Dad I'm fine, Jake's fine, we're all fine but there is a bit of a situation back at the house." I suddenly found myself cut off by my father's angry shouts.

"Isabella Marie Cullen if you burned down another house so help me god!" he shouted angrily into the phone.

Geesh, I thought to myself, parents. You hold one séance in the attic and forget to blow out the candles before going on vacation resulting in the house burning to the ground and they hold it against you forever.

"Dad! Dad!" I shouted into the phone trying to get his attention as Jacob clutched his sides and had himself a good laugh at my expense, "Dad the house is fine, really."

I waited a moment for Carlisle to compose himself. "I'm sorry Bella," he apologized, "but you know you have burned down one house and you did manage to blow up half of another so when you say things like that I can't help but think the worst."

Jacob gave me a look of disbelief before mouthing how hilarious my Dad is and falling down on the ground in hysterics. I had to really concentrate on not kicking him into the river.

"Thanks Dad," I replied sarcastically. "Really thanks for the vote of confidence. I'm glad you have so much faith in me."

"I'm sorry Bella but can you blame me? Now what can I do for you?"

I quickly explained the Romanian situation. As soon as I finished I waited for some kind of sage advice from my father but I was met with silence. "Um Dad?" I asked, "Any advice? Anything at all?"

"I'm sorry Bella I was just thinking and well I think we should let the Romanians join us."

"Oh … okay. Are you sure?"

"I am," he replied firmly. "Think about it Bella. Who do we know that hates the Volturi more than the Romanians?"

"Um no one," I ventured.

"Exactly, Vladimir and Stefan would do anything for revenge so there is no fear of them working against us if it means a confrontation with the Volturi."

"Alright," I agreed, "but there is still the problem of Alice's visions."

I heard some muted mumbles in the background before he answered, "Actually Bella Sam just pointed out to me that Alice's visions shouldn't be a problem."

"How so?" I asked curiously.

"Well as soon as the Romanians decided to seek us out they unknowingly combined their futures with those of the wolves, effectively blocking them from Alice. Sam and I are both confident that we are still safe from Alice's visions."

I turned to Jacob and quickly relayed to him everything Carlisle and I had just discussed.

"Alright Dad," I said a few minutes later, "Jacob agrees. We'll talk to the Romanians and let them in on our plan. Have you had any luck so far?"

"Not yet," he replied somberly. "We're having a bit of trouble tracking some of the nomads I was hoping to find. It appears that many have gone into hiding in fear of the Volturi. I had no idea things had gotten so bad with the Volturi abusing their power to this extent. On the bright side Emmett and Rosalie were able to contact the Egyptian coven and they have agreed to join us. They should be arriving any day, it seems as though we aren't the only ones who have had enough."

"That's great Dad, I'll keep an eye out for them."

"Alright sweetie I had better go Sam just caught an old scent trail that we're going to try to follow. Please take care of yourself Bella and try to find out where these so called whispers are coming from. We want to squash any rumors about what we have planned, before the Volturi catch wind of this."

"I will Dad," I assured.

"I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too Daddy."

I hung up the phone a second later and turned angrily to Jake. "What was that?" I snapped.

Jacob held up his hands in self defense. "Hey now, calm down Bells. Can you really blame me for laughing? Your dad is hilarious! Everyone always goes on about how level headed he is yet you just seem to set him off. You're the only two-hundred and seventy-three year old who still gets grounded!"

"Yeah real hilarious Jake."

"I just have one question Bells."

I frowned but motioned for him to continue on with his surely idiotic query.

"Is there anything you haven't destroyed? I mean how did you burn down one house and blow up half of another and why haven't I heard about this before?

I glared at my immature excuse for a friend before turning my back on him and running back to the house to inform our new allies of our plan to destroy the Volturi.

* * *

Please review and let me know what you think! Also if you have any suggestions for good stories I should check out please drop me a line!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	24. Newborn

Newborn

**Disclaimer: I'm thinking about just hijacking Edward Cullen since he apparently doesn't belong to me. Today's song is New born by Muse.**

EPOV

I tried to ignore my sister's screams but it was no use. They were rattling through me both inside and out as I waited patiently for my turn in the inferno.

It had been days, weeks, months, perhaps even years since I had discovered that my reason for living was gone and time no longer held any meaning for me. I was a lifeless shell, a mere ghost of myself existing only for the love of my sister. Were it not for her I would try to quickly end myself to stop the pain of living. Alas, even in death I would not be joined with my sweet angel of that I was certain. She was a pure soul deserving of every good thing in the universe while I was a monster, condemned to the deepest pits of hell.

Eventually it got to be too much as I watched Alice writhe in torment on the cold stone floor. I knew there was nothing I could do to stop her torture but even still I wished with everything I had that it would end, for her sake. Suddenly, the screams stopped. Alice lay shaking in a ball on the floor before her tormenter turned her crimson gaze to me.

"I don't know what you're doing Masen," she spat acidly, "but I know it's you and when I find out what you're doing I will see that you, and your sister, suffer tremendously for it. Of that you can be certain."

The pain was instantaneous and I welcomed it. I let the fire consume me entirely, not bothering to fight against it. As I felt the flames lick away at every sane thought in my head I was distracted momentarily from the brunt of my grief. The inferno within grew hotter but was still no match for the frozen wasteland within me, I was too hurt inside for Jane to be able to make it much worse. All too soon the pain disappeared and I crashed back to reality, no longer safe from the darkness in my mind.

As I opened my eyes I took stock of my surroundings, looking for the cause of the disturbance in my playtime with Jane. My eyes landed briefly on Alice who was now curled up in ball in the farthest corner of the room we shared, before moving on to the dark robes belonging to Aro.

Aro wore an uncharacteristically somber frown upon his face, immediately putting me on edge. I wasted no time in pushing my way into his mind.

_This is too much. I can't take it anymore every time I touch them the pain is so immense it's unbearable. I have never experienced anything like it and it cannot continue their gifts are too valuable to be wasted like this._

I pulled myself out of Aro's mind, unable to stomach his totally self centered thoughts any longer. It was such a relief to now be able to select when I want to hear someone's thoughts. No longer am I forced to bear witness to every single thought that passed through someone's mind. It has allowed me to subsist in a world of near silence punctured intermittently by either Alice or my cries of agony before our silence is eventually broken when Jane decides to come and play, bringing forth screams of utter torment.

I had drifted off into my pit of nothingness after leaving Aro's thoughts and was drowning in a sea of despair when yet again I was pulled back from my mind by the realization that I was being dragged toward the throne room. This held no real interest to me so I didn't even bother to crane my neck around to see who had the misfortune of dragging my pathetic bedraggled form across the keep.

After a time my transportation halted and I collapsed into a heap on the floor beside Alice, who had also apparently been dragged in. Before us sat Aro and Caius looking regal and all together smug atop their thrones, Marcus was oddly absent. Any other time this would have peaked my interest but now life held no meaning without my love and I couldn't find it in me to care.

Alice never moved from the position in which she had fallen and I knew from experience that she wouldn't. The only time Alice ever moved these days was when she struggled in vain to get away from Jane and even then it was more out of instinct than anything else. The Alice I knew was gone. She hadn't had a real thought in so long that I was uncertain if any part of who she was still existed or whether it had died alongside Jasper

"Dear, dear Alice," Aro cooed from his perch, "why do you carry on so?" He shook his raven colored head before turning his attention to me. "And you Edward, you should be ashamed! A young man like yourself should be stronger than this. I am so very disappointed in the both of you but no matter I have come up with a solution," he declared with a smirk looking quite proud of himself. "Bring them in," he commanded someone standing outside.

I heard them before I saw them. Two humans were being brought to us. I could only assume Aro meant them to be some kind of snack, a treat for us. Aro seemed to like to forget that we are not children you can't bribe us with treats to gain our love and raise our spirits. I knew we would be forced to feed since our old diet was now banned, so I prepared myself for the horror that was sure to come. These days our victims are brought to us and we are force fed as the burn in our throats was so inconsequential now that we can't be bothered by it.

After a brief moment Santiago and Heidi appeared carrying two unconscious humans. Santiago had a young male haphazardly thrown over his shoulder. The boy appeared to be in his late teens. He seemed tall and had wavy blonde hair much like Jasper had. I closed my eyes in an attempt to hold back my scream of hurt for my lost family before opening them and being met with a shock.

In her arms Heidi carried a petit young girl about sixteen or seventeen with long wavy brown hair and ivory skin. She reminded me so much of the memories of what my lost love had looked like as a human that I couldn't help but cry out as the waves of anguish washed over me. I knew I would never be able to harm this innocent girl. She was so much like my love that I vowed to do whatever I could to protect her from myself. I would not, could not, prey on this girl.

Caius smiled evilly before leaning over to Aro. "You have done well brother it appears that young Masen here has seen the similarities between your gift and that Cullen bitch."

"I quite agree brother. This has been a success!" He exclaimed excitedly.

I concentrated on not attacking Caius for his disparaging remarks about my love. When I finally was able to control myself enough, I pushed my way into his convoluted mind. I immediately I drew back in disgust at what I had witnessed there. Aro did not plan on us feeding from these humans. No he planned to change these two humans and give them to us as our new mates. He actually believed he could just find humans who looked similar and replace them! I was incensed.

"It will never work," I choked out finding it somewhat difficult to speak clearly as I hadn't used my voice for anything other than screaming for who knows how long. "They cannot be replaced."

"Give it time my boy, give it time," Aro replied condescendingly waving me off.

I struggled to stand being weak from refusing to feed as often as possible. "I won't let you do this," I declared defiantly straightening my back and squaring my shoulders ready to fight if necessary.

"Oh Masen you truly are an idiot," Caius sneered. "As if you have any say in what happens around here. These two will be changed and you will be grateful, end of discussion."

"Aro," I said taking a step forward before I found myself restrained by Felix and Demetri's trunk like arms.

"Ah youth," Aro chuckled, "they are so rebellious at times, never willing to listen to their elders. Ah well, never mind," he sighed before leaning forward and quickly biting into first the girl's neck and then the boy's.

I struggled to get free, planning to kill the humans before they were forced to join us in this life but it was no use. Even at my best I was no match for both Felix and Demetri. The hall was silent for a brief moment save for the sounds of my struggle before the screaming began.

After what must have been three days the screams picked up in intensity as the humans' hearts raced toward their last beats before the venom consumed them completely. After a few minutes the screaming abruptly stopped along with the unnaturally rapid heartbeats. Everything was eerily quiet before the two newborns opened their bloody crimson eyes and entered into their new lives as members of the damned.

The boy, who I had learned during his transformation was named Riley, jumped up first. He let out a hiss before backing himself up against the wall in a defensive crouch in response to his unfamiliar surroundings and the number of mature vampires surrounding him. He was tall, probably around six feet and he was fairly muscular. He wasn't as wiry as Jasper but I could see the similarities between the two.

At the same time the girl, Bree, let out a gasp as she clutched at the new burning sensation in her throat while she looked around the room in awe. She too leapt up from her spot on the floor and bent down in a defensive crouch. She truly was a beautiful creature, even for a vampire. She had long, flowing, brown hair which fell in waves down her back and framed a sweet looking face disrupted in its innocence by her bloody crimson eyes. The transformation had defined her features making her quite striking but she couldn't hold a candle to my love, no one ever would.

"Welcome!" Aro exclaimed causing the newborns to growl in surprise. He paid them no heed knowing that should they choose to attack they would get nowhere near him, not with half the guard as well as Renata at his side. "We have all been so eager to meet you my children. Please, please come and give me your hands so that I may know you better!"

Riley and Bree looked around wildly, unsure of what to do before Bree straightened out of her crouch and walked forward hesitantly. She appeared to be very in control for a newborn but I knew that would only last as long as she couldn't smell human blood, then she would become wild and nearly impossible to control.

As soon as she reached Aro she lifted her hand and he latched on instantaneously causing her to growl in surprise yet again. The guard bristled but Aro waved them off not sensing any real danger. What an idiot. After a short moment he released her hand with a smile before turning expectantly to Riley.

With a look of extreme nervousness and uncertainty Riley eventually straightened up and cautiously strode forward. His thoughts were jumbled and he hoped that perhaps this guy could tell him how he got here and give him something to drink. He held out his hand for Aro to take and only flinched slightly when the ancient vampire grabbed a hold of it with vigor.

After learning every thought and memory both Riley and Bree had ever had, Aro stood with a jubilant look on his face. "I am so happy that both of you could join us. We had been searching for both of you for some time now. Well I'm sure you are both wondering what you are doing here." Both newborns nodded in agreement so he proceeded to enlighten them to their new situation before being interrupted by a screech I would recognize anywhere.

Whipping my head toward the source of the outburst I saw Alice clambering to her feet, her eyes wild. Her thoughts were even more incomprehensible then before but what I did see caused me to struggle against my captors to no avail. I needed to get to Alice's side before she made the biggest mistake of her existence.

"Jasper," she croaked taking an unsteady step forward. Aro's plan had worked. Alice's mind was so decimated and she was so desperate to see Jasper that she now believes Riley is Jasper come back for her. If Aro succeeds in convincing her that Riley really is Jasper Alice will belong to him forever.

"Alice that's not Jasper," I shouted, desperate to stop her, before I was silenced when Jane's twin Alec took away all of my motor functions. He used his power to cut off not only my movements and control over my voice but also my abilities to see and hear. I was trapped within myself until Aro decided to release me from Alec's hold.

While I was locked within the prison of my own mind, before succumbing to suffocating darkness of my grief, I came to some very important realizations. About three things I was absolutely positive. First, I am a monster undeserving of love. Second, there is something and I'm not sure how powerful it is, that is coming to possibly destroy us all. And third, I am irrevocably dedicated to the protection of not only Alice but these innocent newborns as well.

* * *

I really hope this threw you for a loop, things needed to get exponentially more complicated before the Cullens arrive. There is only one more chapter before the action really starts. The next chapter will be from Bella's POV and will feature some time with Carlisle. PLEASE PLEASE review!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	25. Thank You For The Venom

Thank You For The Venom

**Disclaimer: In case you haven't figured it out yet Edward Cullen still isn't mine. Today's song is Thank You For The Venom by My Chemical Romance.**

BPOV

The time was coming to take our stand against the Volturi. Our three months were almost up.

As the days went by my control over my powers grew exponentially. I now felt confident that I would be able to make a positive difference when the time came. Not to say I didn't struggle with my control or with my emotions, I did, but Jake was never very far away. He was my constant companion, always challenging me and acting as my own personal sun to keep the darkness within me at bay. He, as well as our growing number of allies, kept me grounded and gave me hope.

Within the first week Jasper had succeeded in recruiting not only Maria and her army of newborns but also every one of her numerous allies in the south. He had stayed with her in order to help train and control her army and would help to transport them to Italy where we would make our stand. They had given the newborns limited amounts of information about the coming days in order to hinder Alice's visions and from what Jasper told us we were confident that they would make a rather formidable group of allies in the days ahead.

The others had been equally successful in their endeavors. Emmett and Rosalie had recently returned from their time in Africa where they had managed to recruit the Egyptian coven. The Denalis had also returned from their travels during which they had successfully enlisted the help of not only the Amazon coven but also of several nomads they found in both North and South America.

It seemed as though everyone wanted a piece of the Volturi. Each new coven and nomad that showed up was eager to fight and they were more than willing to share their stories about what injustices they had suffered at the hands of the Volturi. I was amazed at how long and how grossly the Volturi have been abusing their power.

Each day was filled with new arrivals and a chance to prepare for the attack. The only family members we were still missing were Esme and Carlisle and it was only a matter of time before we were all together again, if only for a brief time, before we met our destiny.

Two days ago, Esme had sent word that she and Leah had been able to recruit the assistance of the Irish coven and would be returning to Forks with them any day now. Carlisle, on the other hand, had sent Sam home to spend time with his fiancée Emily while he stayed behind. He was still searching for allies, concerned that our numbers were high but our talents and fighting experience came nowhere close to that of the Volturi.

Carlisle was currently making his way thru England and had called to request that I meet him in London as soon as possible as he was in need of my assistance. Apparently it was imperative that I be the one to come. That was how I found myself sitting in the overpriced seats of first class on the earliest flight out of Seattle and into London with Jacob by my side.

Jake had absolutely insisted that he accompany me on my trip even though I had assured him that I was more than capable of going at it alone. He claimed he was doing it to block Alice's visions of me but I knew he was really just worried about leaving me alone, he was incredibly nervous about my wellbeing. He was almost as concerned as Carlisle and that's saying something.

As I waited impatiently for the flight to be over I had to remind myself to fidget so as not to raise the suspicions of the humans seated around us. It would seem highly unusual for someone not to move even once during a thirteen hour flight over the Atlantic. It was normally fairly difficult for me to remember to keep up appearances around humans while being stuck in confined spaces for so long but Jake's presence proved helpful. He ate both my meals as well as his own not only because he is a bottomless pit but also to stop any nosey airlines attendants from making a fuss. He would also remind me to use the bathroom at regular intervals, something I always forgot about.

I found myself feeling very appreciative for his presence and all the comfort and peace of mind that came along with it. As the time attack drew nearer, I found myself turning to him for comfort more and more often. Jake was always ready to listen and hold me when I needed it and for that I would be eternally grateful to him.

At the moment I was being smothered by my overwhelming fears. I was not only worried for the safety of my family and friends but also about Edward and his reaction. What if he really didn't want me? What would I do? I believed what Jasper had told me about Edward's feelings for me but I still couldn't erase the memories of what he had said the last time we had seen one another and it tore me apart.

Jake noticed that I had tensed up and put a warm hand on my knee, silently urging me to relax. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath ignoring the burn in my throat while willing my muscles to relax. After a few seconds I was able to open my eyes and give him a wan smile of thanks. He put his huge arm around my shoulders pulling me in for a bone crushing hug before turning his attention back to his PSP.

I knew he was just as tense as I was, worried not only about me but also about the welfare of his pack. Never had they participated in a fight this big and it was a virtual suicide mission but all of the young wolves were eager to prove themselves and seemed to be fairly unflappable in the face of danger. Jake, on the other hand, had seen many battles during his centuries on Earth and was not eager to experience the losses that would surely occur. The pack was the only family he had and no one likes their family to be in danger. I should know.

In the hours before our flight we had spent as much time as possible revisiting all of our old haunts in both Forks and La Push with not only his pack but also with his tribe as well. When it was finally time to leave I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever see the shores of First Beach again or the dense forests of Forks and if I did survive who would be missing? I took comfort in the thought that even if I didn't survive Jake surely would, allowing my family's memory to live on and because of that I finally found the strength to board our flight and race eastward, toward the inevitable.

Before long we landed in London's Heathrow airport and I was stepping onto my native soil for the first time in over two centuries. Although Carlisle and I had moved around many times during my lifetime, we had never stayed in England. Not long after I had been changed we left England for good and hadn't returned until now.

There is something about coming home after a long time away that makes it impossible not to relax a little inside and although London had certainly changed over the centuries it was still home. I allowed myself to revel in the feeling as Jake and I quickly made our way to the baggage claim where my father said he would be waiting.

After several minutes of watching me jumping up and down, trying in vain to see over the heads of the humans around me, Jacob spotted a familiar head of blond hair moving toward us. As soon as I spotted him I barely managed to move at human speed before I threw myself into my father's waiting arms.

"Dad," I sighed in relief as I hugged him tightly.

"Hello darling," he greeted with a smile, his long hidden accent coming out to play. "Jacob," he greeted with a nod over my head.

"Dr. Cullen. It's good to see you again sir."

"Carlisle please Jacob, I dare say we are past the formalities stage now. We are now brothers in arms. Besides, you have taken care of the most precious thing in my life when I was unable to and for that I will be forever grateful. You have certainly earned the right to call me by my first name." He extended his hand around me and Jake shook it eagerly.

"Thank you sir, I mean Carlisle," Jake corrected with a grin.

After finally releasing my hold on him we quickly gathered our luggage before following Carlisle through the parking garage to the car he had rented. Before long were on the road and I was silent as I took in the sights around me. Everything about London had changed yet so many things were still the same since my time.

After stopping to get Jake something to eat, Carlisle asked to drop Jacob off at our hotel so that he could adjust to the time change and allow us some time alone. Jacob grudgingly agreed after unsuccessfully trying to stifle a loud yawn that betrayed just how much the jetlag was affecting him.

After dropping off my luggage and getting Jake situated at the hotel, Carlisle and I loaded ourselves back into the car. We only made minimal conversation as we drove, just enjoying each other's company while allowing ourselves to get lost in our memories of a time long since past.

After driving in silence for a few minutes, I began to recognize some of the older buildings under their new façades outside of my window and I turned questioningly to my father.

"I wanted to bring you back to where I first saw you Bella. I hope that's alright," he said quietly never taking his eyes off of the road. I nodded my head unable to speak. We were headed to Cold-bath Fields, the place where it all began.

After sometime Carlisle parked the car and made his way around the front of the car to open the door for me.

"We'll have to walk from here," he said quietly. "There isn't much left, just a plaque but I felt we needed to come here never the less." I nodded my head before taking his hand in mine.

We walked a few blocks in silence before coming to a stop before an old plaque all that remained of the hospital in which my human life had come to an end and my eternal life had begun. We were back, back to the place of my birth and that thought in itself was humbling. We were silent a few moments more before Carlisle broke the silence.

"I'm sorry Bella," he said sadly. I gave him a questioning look letting him know that I didn't understand what he could possibly be apologizing to me for. Sure he had done things over the years to piss me off but at times I had returned the favor tenfold. "I'm sorry I wasn't stronger, sorry I didn't give you a choice. I never asked you if you wanted this life and I can't help but feel responsible for all the pain you have suffered because of my selfishness."

I couldn't let him continue to blame himself for the gift he had given me, the gift of a life with people who love me. Sure I wasn't always happy with what I was but I never once regretted being changed and it was important that he know that.

"Please don't apologize," I interrupted. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Were it not for you I would have died here long ago and I would have been buried and forgotten under a crumbling tombstone."

"But Bella," he tried to interrupt but I silenced him once again.

"No Dad, listen. If it weren't for you changing me I would have never gotten the chance to fall in love, as ill fated as it may be. I would never have known what it was like to have a family who loves me and I certainly would have never known what it was like to have a father, especially one as caring and selfless as you. Has my life been all smiles? Of course not. But who's is? Are there things I would have changed? Absolutely. But given the chance to go back in time and choose I would always pick this life if it meant spending it with you, Jake, and the rest of our family." If he could I know Carlisle would have been crying. The look in his eyes told me that he understood that I didn't hold him responsible for any of the bad things that had happened to me. "I love you Daddy, no matter what."

"I love you too baby," he choked out before crushing me into his chest.

We stayed like that for awhile longer simply enjoying each other before we broke apart. "Was this why you brought me here?" I asked curiously.

"Part of the reason," he admitted sheepishly, "but I also need your help."

"Anything," I promised earnestly.

"I need you to talk to Alistair."

"Anything but that."

"Now Bella," he admonished, "you know how helpful he would be to our cause…"

"But Dad," I whined, my inner teenager coming out to play. "You know he drives me nuts."

"Don't be so dramatic Bella," he scolded as we began making our way back to our car. "I'll admit that Alistair is a little … different and a bit difficult to take in large doses but it's only because he's been alone for so long. Besides he adores you."

I let out a very unladylike snort and rolled my eyes. What an understatement. Alistair was a hermit, he was paranoid, withdrawn, and tended to avoid contact with other vampires like the plague. Everyone that is except me, joy.

Carlisle had run across him a few centuries past and tried to forge a friendship with him. My father found him fascinating and forced his company on Alistair for a time until Alistair, sick of the companionship and paranoid as anything, split. Carlisle lost contact with him for a few decades until a few short years after my change.

We were living in Ireland when we ran across his scent one day while out hunting. Carlisle immediately decided to visit his 'old friend' and dragged me along with him. Oddly, and much to my dismay, Alistair took a shine to me immediately. He followed me around as he prattled on for days and days unwilling to let me out of his sight or to get a word in edgewise. It seemed as though he had been saving every thought he ever had for centuries and had been waiting for just the right victim to unleash them on. Just my luck I was said victim.

When I finally couldn't take it anymore I convinced Carlisle that the locals were becoming suspicious of us and soon after we moved on leaving Alistair far behind. I had seen Alistair a handful of times since then when we were visiting the Irish coven or when he would unexpectedly drop in while we were living in one of our various housed scattered through Europe and each time I had to suffer through his attentions in silence. Carlisle always forced me to be polite no matter how badly I wanted to tell him to piss off after a week of nonstop chatter and now he wanted me to voluntarily do it again.

"Dad I really don't want to," I whined while jutting out my bottom lip and giving him my best pout. "Please don't make me Daddy," I pleaded.

"Isabella I'm surprised at you!" he scolded. "I should think you of all people would want to get as much help as possible to get the Masens back. With Alistair's help we might just have a fighting chance and you know good and well that you're the only one he'll listen to."

I let out a plaintive sigh of defeat. I knew he was right but I didn't have to like it. "Fine," I pouted crossly.

"That's my girl," he said with a victorious smirk and a wink as he unlocked the car and opened my door. Smug bastard. "I caught his scent yesterday and tracked it back to an abandoned building just north of here. If we can avoid the traffic we should be there in fifteen minutes."

"Oh joy. I can't wait," I mumbled dejectedly.

* * *

Okay just the last little bit of fluff before the Cullens descend on Volterra. The next chapter is entitled Uprising and will be from Bella's POV. Please review and let me know what you think about the story. I know you've all been waiting for the battle and your reviews help me write faster!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	26. Uprising

Uprising

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. Today's song is Uprising by Muse.**

BPOV

Carlisle and I had found Alistair without much effort. Carlisle had been right, Alistair was hiding out in an abandoned building nearby and it took very little convincing on my part to get him to join with us. He had grown weary of living in hiding for so long. I was a little surprised, I had always assumed he had chosen to become a hermit but apparently I was only half right. He did in fact have anti-social tendencies but he had also angered Aro several centuries ago and been moving around ever since. He was willing to lay his life on the line so that no one else ever had to suffer his same fate. Who knew?

Admittedly he would be incredibly useful when the time came and I was incredibly grateful for his assistance but he was just so damn annoying! He had been with us for little over four days now and it really was four days too many. If he didn't shut his pie hole soon there would be one less vampire in this world before the fighting even got started. So annoying!

Currently we were staying at a hotel in southern France waiting for word that the others had arrived in Europe without difficulty. We had decided to travel separately and arrive in different locations over the course of several days so as not to raise any suspicions should we be spotted by anyone loyal to the Volturi. The only member of our family that Carlisle and I would actually get to see before the attack would be Esme. Carlisle refused to let her fight without being by her side at all times and I could completely understood where he was coming from.

So far we had gotten confirmations from everyone except Jasper who was still in transit. Because of the newborns he had been forced to pilot our private jet himself in order to avoid any problems. I didn't envy him one bit. Not only was he struggling with his own emotions but he was also trying to pilot a jet on a transatlantic flight as he worked to control the emotional climate of several newborns in an enclosed space while spending an exorbitant amount of time with the most frustrating of the wolves and his psychotic bloodthirsty ex-girlfriend. Nope I didn't envy him one bit.

Today was April 28th and we would be attacking in a matter of hours. We had flipped a coin to decide what day to attack, trying to keep our decisions as unpredictable as possible just in case. The Masens had left on September 15th which meant that it had been over seven months since I had last seen Edward and it was eating away at my soul. Jasper and I had been locked in the black bottomless pits of our own minds for over four months. Four months wasted wallowing in a pit of despair when we could have been working to recover Edward and Alice. I would never forgive myself if any harm had befallen them while I had been too wrapped up in myself to save them. I was such as selfish monster.

I let out a frustrated sigh before taking note of my surroundings. Yep, Alistair was still talking. He hadn't stopped babbling since we had found him and he seemed to take no notice that I had stopped even trying to nod and hum politely. Nope, he just kept talking about everything and nothing completely oblivious to the fact that I was trying my best to ignore him. I removed my I-pod headphones for a moment.

"… and then Orion, you remember him don't you Isabella? Big chap with dark curly hair, odd sense of humor that one. Anyway so then Orion turns to his mate Erin and tells her …"

I completely tuned him out again, not interested in the affairs of some obscure vampires I had honestly never met. Instead I went back to playing with my shield and trying my best to ignore both Alistair's chatter and the disturbing sounds coming from the next room. No one should ever have to hear those kinds of sounds come out of their parents. I was certain that I would be mentally scarred after this particularly intense session they were apparently having.

During my months spent strengthening my shield, I had discovered that with enough concentration I could lift my inner shield for a few brief moments. It was something that, in theory, would allow a vampire with a mental talent like Edwards to access my mind. It was something that could prove useful should I find the need to communicate with Edward once inside the castle but I was being paranoid and had decided not to tell anyone about it, just in case.

My head snapped up when I heard Carlisle's phone ring from the other room where he and Esme had been entrenched ever since she had arrived. I turned down my music and after a brief moment of silence I recognized Jasper's voice on the other line and sprang up ready to go. We had planned to begin running the rest of the way to the Volturi stronghold in Italy as soon as we got word that everyone was in position and Jasper was the last to arrive. We would converge on Volterra from all sides, not allowing the Volturi any means of escape. We had even identified all known tunnel exits and had those covered as well.

Against the wishes of most of my family, it had been decided that Jake and I would be the first to enter Volterra and set up a stronghold of sorts so that I could shield the minds of all of our allies. The only reason Carlisle had finally conceded to Jasper and my plan was because if I were to be attacked I could, in theory, shield myself both mentally and physically against any attacks the guard might launch. Well that and Jake had sworn his life to the protection of mine.

In truth I wasn't sure how long I could stand against concentrated attacks from such strong and skilled fighters but I was willing to sacrifice myself for the ones I love should the need arise. I was not afraid to die. My only concern was the safe return of the Masens and the wellbeing of both my vampire and wolf families.

Once I entered the city our forces would begin the attack in earnest. Jasper insisted on leading the first wave into the castle, refusing to sit back and let the newborns do the dirty work. He felt, as I did, that this was a fight for our mates and that we should be the ones to make the biggest sacrifices. Once Jasper began his attack our forces would penetrate the castle from all known entrances while the wolves kept watch outside of the castle walls for anyone who managed to escape from the melee within the city walls. In order to spare as many human lives as possible we would stage a gas leak causing the city to be evacuated just before I made myself known. The Volturi were too wrapped up in themselves to concern themselves with such trivial human issues.

After closing the phone a slightly disheveled Esme and Carlisle emerged from their room. I looked to my father questioningly and with a nod he told me everything I needed to know. It was time. Jake and I immediately sprang into action, gathering our meager belongings and heading for the door with Alistair hot on our heels.

We wound our way through the countryside to avoid being seen. I led the way with Jake in his wolf form loping along powerfully at my side. He needed to stay in his wolf form in order to issue his final orders to the pack before the attack. My parents ran hand in hand behind us with Alistair bringing up the rear. We made not stops, not needing to rest, and made it to Italy in record time.

Over the past few days Jake had become even more of a permanent fixture at my side. We were together so much that I had begun to think of him as being more of an extension of myself than a separate entity. If I moved so did he and vice versa, we were like satellites orbiting one another. I knew he was just as worried about the well being of his loved ones as I was and we were feeding off one another trying to strengthen the other when the stress became too much to handle. I could think of no one I would rather have fighting at my side when I looked death in the face than Jacob.

As we approached Volterra I took note of the line of cars exiting the city. Our attack had already begun and hopefully the Volturi would play right into our hands. We finally came to a halt under the cover of the forest outside of the city walls. After a few quick phone calls we were certain our allies were in position and it was time to make our move.

I found myself being smothered in hugs and kisses from my parents and I hugged them back not wanting to let them go. I experienced a moment of weakness as I looked into the terrified faces of my parents before I was swept up in a bone crushing hug by Emmett. He, Rosalie and Jasper had come to be with us one more time as a family before we began the attack. It was a bittersweet moment. I hadn't had my family all together in months and it was a relief to see them but conversely I wasn't sure if all or any of us for that matter, would come out of this alive and that was soul crushing. I felt myself growing weak against the despair when a feeling of strength and invincibility swept through me courtesy of Jasper.

All too soon the last of the cars exited the city and my siblings left to take up their positions leaving me alone with Jake and my parents.

Esme stepped forward and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind my ear, "Be strong Bella, we love you and I know you can do this. Have faith in yourself and we will make it through this." I choked back a sob as I embraced her one last time before turning to my father.

"Your mother is right Bella, everything will be fine just stick to the plan and we will all be home safe and sound as a family in no time. I love you sweetheart, be safe."

"I'll do my best," I replied shakily feeling completely inadequate and unsure of myself.

Carlisle turned to Jacob who had been standing off to the side during our impromptu family reunion trying to give us a moment of privacy. "Jacob please be careful," he said, "I'm counting on you to keep my little girl safe."

"Of course Carlisle, there is nothing I wouldn't do for Bella. I will do whatever it takes to make sure she is safe, you have my word," he replied solemnly while shaking Carlisle's hand. Carlisle nodded his head in acceptance of Jake's promise before he released him to Esme's motherly embrace.

After stepping back from my parents Jake took my hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I gave my parents a tentative smile before turning away to face the city gates and wrapping us in my shield. Jake and I strolled up to the gates pausing briefly outside of them to steel ourselves for the fight of our lives.

Enjoying the few seconds of calm before the storm I allowed myself one brief moment to absorb the beauty of the world around me. I was unsure of whether or not I would ever leave this city again. The air was crisp and clean indicative of a recent rain. The city was calm as all of the humans had been evacuated and the only sounds were the crickets in the forest.

It was twilight, normally the safest time of day for our kind but today it only promised danger. Somewhere in the gothic fortress my love was being held captive and I was willing to sacrifice my life for his freedom.

The time had come to take the power back. The Volturi's rule of terror had come to an end and I was ready to start the revolution.

* * *

So the war has started! Leave me a comment and let me know what you think, I promise I still have some surprises up my sleeve.

XOXO,

Bellarella


	27. Her Eyes Hold The Apocalypse

Her Eyes Hold the Apocalypse

**Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine. Today's song is Her Eyes Hold the Apocalypse by Eyes Set To Kill.**

BPOV

It was eerie to enter a city so devoid of life, the normally busy marketplace was silent as a tomb. The only sound other than the scrape of papers as they were blown across the cobblestones by the wind was the steady thumping of Jacob's heart.

"It's quiet, too quiet," Jake mused quietly beside me.

I rolled my eyes in disgust. Of all the stupid things he had to quote John Wayne's character in 'The Lucky Texan'. Not really appropriate given our situation but I did have to admit that he had a point. Something wasn't right it was a little too quiet, even for a city currently occupied by only vampires. I feared that perhaps they were waiting for us, that our plan wasn't as well thought out as we believed.

I voiced my concerns to Jake and he assured me that our plan would work. He believed whole heartedly that this would work and I felt like an ass for even suggesting that it wouldn't. I needed to have faith in our plan, in us, in myself, otherwise this would never work and this city would surely become our final resting place.

Once we entered the city I attempted to sniff out any vampires nearby. The rain had washed away many scent traces but the city had been home to so many vampires for so many centuries that I was certain their smells would never completely wash away. After a time I was able to smell several old vampire trails but nothing really current in the past few hours. Perhaps the Volturi really were completely unconcerned with the trivialities of human existence and took no notice of the evacuation. I could only hope that was true, for all our sakes.

We carefully made our way into the city toward the Volturi's castle, sticking to the shadows and all the while keeping our eyes and ears open for any sort of disturbance. From the first moment we had set foot within Volterra I had wrapped Jake and I in my shield and now I consciously worked to spread it further and further. I would need to exert an extreme amount of control over my shield if we were to even breach the castle walls.

Creping silently through the deserted streets Jacob dropped off package after package in key locations, they would be useful later. By the time we finally entered the plaza outside of the Volturi's keep, my nerves were wreaking havoc on me and I had begun to shake. More than once Jake had forced me to stand still for a moment and reign myself back in.

After Jake stopped us for the third time I grabbed him by the hand before he could move on. "Jake, I just wanted to …" I trailed off unsure of how to thank my best friend of over a hundred years for all that he had done for me and his willingness to fight to the death by my side for my one true love.

"It's okay Bells," he said softly while placing his oversized hand reassuringly on my shoulder, "I know."

"Just thanks Jake, you know for everything," I said lamely unable to find the right words. He just nodded and gave me a small crinkly eyed smile before turning his attention back to the matter at hand.

"Whaddya say Buffy, you ready to slay some vampires?" He asked with a smirk that spelled serious trouble for anyone who got in our way. "How about we light this night on fire and give these old bastards something to cry about?"

"You're on Wolfman," I answered with smirk of my own.

The plan was to set off a dozen or so pipe bombs that Jasper and Maria had made, in strategic locations throughout the city. The Volturi had many underground tunnels connecting the castle both to various locations around the city and outside of the city walls. When the bombs were remotely detonated not only would they hopefully draw our enemies out into the open, they would cause many of the underground passages to cave in, making escape for our enemies near impossible. Even if they did manage to get out of the city the wolves were patrolling the area to pick off anyone who made it out past us.

Before detonating the numerous bombs, Jacob and I would ensconce ourselves in a multistoried building across the plaza from the castle and use my shield to provide as much cover for Jasper and the newborns as possible. Once Jasper's forces cleared the way into the castle, the rest of our forces would spring into action. While everyone was occupied Jake and I would fight our way into the castle to provide backup and hopefully locate Edward and Alice.

Once we reached the plaza we quickly scaled the outside of the building all the while staying acutely aware of our surroundings, constantly on the lookout for trouble. When we were finally inside we scoured the building for any sign of life. After finding none we took our positions in a room where we could survey the plaza while staying out of sight for as long as possible.

After one final lingering embrace we straightened up and prepared for the fight of the millennium.

"Would you like to do the honors my lady?" Jacob asked with an exaggerated bow.

"Why I would be honored kind sir," I replied taking the small detonator from his oversized hands. I closed my eyes briefly recalling Edward's perfect features and bringing to mind what I was fighting for before pressing the unassuming button. I was fighting not only for Edward and Alice but also for freedom from oppression. By destroying the Volturi's reign of terror we would be ensuring a life free from fear for many other vampires. No longer would we be either forced into servitude or doomed to live in constant fear for not only our lives but the lives of our mates and coven members. This fight had been a long time coming and today would be a day of reckoning.

Immediately, chaos erupted outside as explosion after explosion rocked the ancient city. Within seconds members of the guard began streaming into the open plaza only to be ambushed by Jasper and his army of newborns. Jake kept watch, making sure our position was not given away as I struggled for control of my shield as I attempted to keep it wrapped about my brother and his large force while simultaneously keeping the guard on the outside, it was no small feat.

I had always thought of my shield as a rubber band that I could stretch out with my mind to cover the points of light that represented other life forms. It had never been very hard to do but in all of my practices the vampires I had covered were normally standing still. I had never practiced using the physical aspect of my shield with moving targets, especially many quickly moving targets and it was proving difficult. I tried to tuck my shield as close around the fighters as possible while keeping it flexible enough to allow them freedom of movement.

The sounds coming from the battle below were deafening. The clashing of stone bodies as they collided and the screeching sounds of metal as limbs were torn from bodies was horrific but the most chilling sound I could hear above everything else was Jasper's battle cry. He sounded otherworldly and coupled with his ability to influence the fear levels of the guard he had them absolutely terrified.

From my position above the fight, I watched as my brother tore through vampire after vampire, an unyielding force hell-bent on retrieving his love. I doubted if there was a force in existence that would be able to stop him at this moment. He was truly a man possessed, driven onward by his anger and his all consuming need for Alice.

I had always known Jasper to be a fighter but never in all our years together had I seen him become such an efficient killing machine. He cut through the swarm with an efficiency I had never before seen, not wasting any spare movements on the enemy. He simply went straight for the kill before moving on to his next opponent. It was truly terrifying to see him transform into a creature so unlike the dependable, loving older brother I have always know.

Jake brought me back to reality with a warm hand in my own. I forced myself to tear my eyes away from Jasper and focus more on my shield. So far we had been lucky as none of the high ranking members of the guard had made an appearance, yet. Judging by the light grey robes of our opponents, the lackeys had been sent out first. We had anticipated this and planned accordingly. No low ranking members of the guard were ever very talented and many tended to be quite young and less prepared for a fight than the higher ranking guards. The newborns in Jasper's force were the best to deal with this particular group, relying on their newborn strength and the supremely effective training Jasper and Maria had given them to prepare for this fight.

I felt incredibly guilty to use them like this but I found solace in the knowledge that this was far nobler a cause than the wars for blood that had been raging for centuries in the south. At least if they met their deaths here they would have died for something worth fighting for.

My shield was holding strong but I felt rather useless knowing that no mental attacks were being used so my shield was rather ineffective at the moment. True, it was helping shield our fighters from physical harm but I was really unsure about what would happen when mental attacks and larger numbers of vampires were added to the mix. I just prayed I could hold strong long enough to save Edward and Alice.

My head suddenly whipped to the side when I heard a familiar woop echo across the plaza. Emmett and Rosalie had just arrived with their band of reinforcements. They were going to help clear a path and watch our backs as Jasper fought his way in to the castle with Jake and I hot on his heels. I sent up a silent prayer that my family would make it out alive. I had no doubt that there would be casualties, perhaps many but I tried my best not to dwell on those thoughts any longer than necessary.

Jake gave my hand one more squeeze and looked deeply into my eyes before taking a step back. The air around him shimmered slightly as he made the quick transformation from man to beast. In an instant my best friend was replaced with a giant russet brown wolf. Jake gave me a wolfy grin, aimed at helping me relax, before he launched himself out of the window in front of us. I was right behind him.

Jasper and Maria had managed to force their way into the castle entrance with a small contingent of newborns and we followed their path of destruction. The sounds of battle coming from all around us told me that the others had joined the fray. Much of what Jasper and Maria had done was a distraction so that the other covens could infiltrate the fortress from other points of entry undetected. As we entered the plaza we ran past the fighters dodging back and forth, unwilling to engage in any unnecessary fighting as that was not our mission. We were support and retrieval and it was time to make our move.

* * *

Ugh I know this took me forever and it's not even that long but it is important to put events in motion correctly. Then next chapter will be from Edward's POV. Please review and let me know what you think!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	28. I Thought I Saw Your Face Today

I Thought I Saw Your Face Today

**Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine. Today's song is I Thought I Saw Your Face Today by She & Him.**

EPOV

I was numb all over. Alec, Jane's twin had recently discovered just how fun it could be to play with us. Because of this I now found myself frozen in place, truly a prisoner within my own mind. I could not see, hear, nor move and because of this I was unsure of how long I had been like this. It could have been years or even mere minutes, there was really no way to tell as Alec's thoughts gave nothing away.

Finally, the haze in which I had been subsisting began to clear, slowly restoring my senses one by one. It was an unpleasant feeling but it was preferable to burning from the inside. After Alec ran off to some other worthwhile pursuit, I looked around and found that I was still in the catacombs deep below the castle.

It was now one of my many duties to dispose of the bodies of the unfortunate victims from which the guard regularly fed. The extensive catacombs beneath the city made for an excellent dumping ground and this is where I found myself spending an inordinate amount of time lately. Bodies did not last long down here once the vermin and wet got to them. It was while I was performing this revolting and depressing task that Alec had found and trapped me.

Unable to tell how long I had been kept underground I quickly began searching the minds of the castle residents for the whereabouts for Alice, Riley and Bree concerned for their wellbeing. I found them in the throne room with Aro. I was immediately concerned and set about finishing my disgusting chore.

Finishing the task, I had evidently begun six days prior, as quickly as possible proved difficult. Some of the corpses of the Volturi's victims had begun to decompose quickly, making them difficult and gruesome to move. Once I finished laying the last body to rest I was covered in gore yet I raced upstairs, completely focused on relieving my sister and charges from Aro's grasp rather than changing out of my disgusting clothes.

Not changing my clothing before entering the throne room proved beneficial. Upon finding Alice unharmed, I quickly swept her up in a brief hug before Caius had cleared his throat disapprovingly warning me to step off. Aro had immediately been so disgusted with my smell and appearance that he ordered me upstairs to my chambers to bathe and change before rejoining them in the throne room. Alice was also told to follow with the newborns since I had destroyed her clothes as well.

Alice thoughts had been more coherent as of late and I welcomed this chance to perhaps actually speak to her. She still believed Riley to be Jasper but he and I had been desperately trying to convince her otherwise to no avail.

Riley and Bree had been with us for two months now and were showing incredible amounts of control over their newborn tendencies. Because Alice was often lost to us, the burden of taming the newborns had fallen solely upon my shoulders. Thankfully, I had very little trouble controlling the normally volatile newborns as they seemed to respond to my every command and for that I would be forever grateful.

I found Riley to be likeable, cocky, but likeable. He reminded me of a cross between an over enthusiastic golden retriever and the captain of the football team. It was a strange combination but that was Riley. Bree, on the other hand, was quite enjoyable. She would never hold a candle to my love but her presence did help to calm my mind by allowing me to focus on something besides my pain. She was quite warm and friendly and could get along with anyone, something that saved her much pain at Jane's hand as she couldn't find it in her to harm Bree, instead she choose to torment the rest of us twice as much but we couldn't hold it against Bree, she was just too likeable.

"Alright Alice, your turn," I said while stepping out of the bathroom after finishing my shower.

Riley prodded Alice gently in her side before she moved from her spot by the window. Wordlessly Alice headed for the shower only to emerge minutes later clean and clothed. It was sad to see Alice these days. No one who had known her and her flair for fashion would recognize her. Gone were the vibrant and stylish outfits that had been her trademark. In their place were simple, generic clothing in drab colors. Bree tried to help out by choosing Alice's clothing but there wasn't much to work with as all of Alice's old clothes had been left in Forks and she had no desire, or opportunity, to shop for replacements. We were not allowed outside of the castle walls.

After exiting the bathroom, Alice had wandered back over to Riley's side when her eyes glazed over and she was swept up in a vision. Her visions had been coming more frequently as of late but they never made much sense. Watching along with her I would catch brief glimpses of vampires I didn't know before they would suddenly cut out again. These were different from her older visions of the blackness consuming entire covens because the faces of these vampires would eventually flicker back before disappearing again.

It was quite a mystery, one that Aro was eager to solve but thankfully he was unwilling to touch Alice again in an effort to do so. He was too afraid of being drawn into the darkness again. Instead, he chose to experience her visions through my mind but since I had gotten better at blocking the thoughts of those around me I tried to stay away from Alice's fragmented visions as much as possible in an effort to keep Aro away from her.

This time though it was too late for me to pull out of Alice's vision in time. I caught quick glimpses of a male vampire I vaguely recognized before it faded out again only to be replaced by a flash of wavy blonde hair. I was trying to determine whether I was seeing a vision of Riley or a memory of Jasper when the vision flickered back again and before me I saw the angelic face of my lost love, her lovely features twisted into a mask of anger and pain before everything went black again.

I couldn't stop the animalistic wail of agony that broke free of my lips at the sight of my love in pain. I assumed Alice was lost in another of her delusions after a vision, this time mixing memories of my love with how she imagined her to look when she had met her end. I couldn't take it when the vision flickered back yet again to show both Jasper and my love's faces twisted into masks of extreme agony.

I began demanding over and over again in my mind for Alice to stop doing this. I wanted her to stop seeing them. If she couldn't imagine them in more pleasant circumstances I would rather her not think of them at all. It was selfish of me to wish for her not to think of our loved ones but I couldn't take the agony I felt when I saw my love experiencing such torment. I let out an audible sigh of relief when Alice's visions suddenly ceased and she slumped exhaustedly against Riley.

After a brief reprieve, Aro ordered us back to the throne room. I groaned when I reached into his mind and realized that he had finally mustered up enough courage to make contact with Alice again. No good could come of this, no good at all.

After slowly making our way back to the throne room at a sluggish human pace, we were met by Aro and a very dour Caius, Marcus was nowhere to be found. Apparently, Caius was none too keen for Aro to try making direct contact with Alice again, not for fear of his brother's safety, no he simply didn't want to be bothered by Aro's incessant yammering about how disappointed he was should this not work yet again.

Alice was wary of Aro and clung desperately to an uncomfortable Riley. Riley harbored no ill will toward Alice but her dependence on him, as well as her insisting that he was her dead lover, made him quite uncomfortable. To his credit he never pushed her away and tried his best to help her.

Ever since seeing both Jasper and my love in her mind, Alice had been sobbing uncontrollably. It was heart wrenching to watch. At the same time I was relieved to see from her thoughts she seemed to finally be coming back to herself. She had begun to notice the differences and put two and two together and was slowly coming to the conclusion that Riley was not Jasper as she had been giving him strange looks between dry sobs.

"Welcome back," Aro greeted us from his stone throne before turning his attention solely to Alice who was still sobbing noisily from her position beside Riley. "I have decided that it is time to try seeing into your mind again my dear. Now step forward so that I may share in your wonderful visions." His request simply earned him a much louder sob from Alice.

"Aro, please. Alice is not ready, her visions are still patchy. Surely you can experience through my memories," I pleaded. "Look at her, she simply isn't ready, it's too much for her right now."

"Stupid boy, don't you know the old saying? Struit insidias lacrimis cum femina plorat. When a woman weeps, she is setting traps with her tears," Caius sneered. "She is merely playing with your emotions in order to get you to pay more attention to her and give into her every whim. It only works on the weak minded which undoubtedly you are. It's no wonder she has you under her spell."

I bristled as his words, the urge to attack in defense of my sister overwhelming rational thought. Bree immediately placed a steadying hand on my arm, grounding me and reminding me what the punishment for speaking back to Caius would be. I fought for control of my emotions. I could hear from his thoughts that he was purposely trying to provoke Riley and I for sport and I mentally willed Riley not to react to his words. Much to Caius' disappointment, Riley also remained in control.

"I'm sorry Edward," Aro answered insincerely with a frown, "but I must agree with Caius. You are far too invested in your sister's emotions to think clearly. Besides," he said with a condescending smirk, "I am aware that her visions have begun to return and that you have been trying to see as few as possible. No I must see these visions first hand. Now Alice step forward please otherwise I will have Jane here assist you," he threatened.

I look of panic crossed Alice's face as she recalled all of the torture she had suffered at Jane's hand. Better just to give in to Aro's demands, she thought as she struggled to quiet her sobs before she shuffled forward with her tiny hand outstretched for the ancient vampire to take hold of.

I triumphant grin lit up Aro's features as he grabbed onto Alice's hand. I opened up my mind to see everything he was seeing now that there would be no hiding Alice's visions from him any longer. Most of what I saw was just flashes of faces as I had been seeing for some time now. I couldn't help but will Alice to have a vision like her last one that had knocked Aro on his ass, it would serve him right. Then, just as I wished it Alice's eyes glazed over, the telltale sign that she was having a vision. I watched in astonishment and horror as her vision played out for the three of us.

This vision was more coherent than any she had had lately and showed all of us standing exactly as we were now meaning that this vision would come to pass in the very near future. In it we were simply standing in the throne room when suddenly all of our heads whip to the side at once, indicating that we must have either seen or heard something coming from one direction before everything suddenly goes black and there is no more.

What troubled me almost as much as the sudden darkness in my future were the looks of utter horror on our faces before our futures disappeared the same way the Cullens' futures, and those of numerous nomads and covens had for the past three months.

I personally had no qualms about dying. In fact I welcomed death with open arms as I would finally be released from the horrors of this existence. Of course I had no hope of meeting my love in the next life as I was too much of a monster to deserve that fate but at least I would not be forced to endure Aro and Caius any longer. The only real concern I had was for Alice, Riley, and Bree. I had sworn to myself that I would do whatever it took to protect them and there was no way I could go back on my promise by giving into death. No I would have to endure, for their sakes.

Aro dropped Alice's hand as though she had burned him. "It cannot be, it's impossible," he muttered.

"What is it brother?" Caius demanded the worry apparent in his voice. "What did you see?"

"They're gone," Aro replied distractedly before regaining enough composure to explain. "Our futures, all of our futures, just disappeared. The blackness that consumed the others overtook us."

"That cannot be," Caius said haughtily."We are invincible. No one has ever stood against us and survived. It must be a mistake. The bitch psychic is toying with you brother."

"No brother," Aro answered with a shake of his head. "There is no mistake. In what appears to be a few moments time we will come face to face with the darkness that has consumed the others."

Caius opened his mouth to argue when he was suddenly interrupted by the sound of numerous explosions outside of the castle walls. All of our heads whipped toward the sound just as they had in Alice's vision.

"It has begun," Aro whispered fearfully.

"We will not fall, we will fight," Caius declared turning to the members of the guard present. "Felix!" he shouted. "Send out the lower guard to take out this threat! Demetri, Santiago you organize the second line of defense around the castle entrance. Meanwhile Jane and Alec, you will make up the inner circle of defense here in the throne room. Nothing and no one makes it in here, do you understand me?" he demanded. "I don't care what it takes, no one attacks the Volturi and lives."

"Yes Master," they all shouted in unison before rushing off to defend the castle.

"Aro we will remain here with Jane and Alec while the rest of the guard deals with this, annoyance."

"What of the Masens and Marcus?" Aro questioned worriedly.

"The Masens and the newborns will remain where we can see them. I have no doubt that they would willingly betray us given the chance, better to keep them nearby. As for Marcus, that old fool is on his own." Aro looked aghast as Caius continued, "Too long have we tolerated that old fool. He has been nothing but a burden for centuries, let the darkness take him. You'll not see me shed a tear should he be destroyed."

Caius's attention was soon diverted by the sounds of battle coming from outside of the castle. His smug grin began to steadily fade as the sounds got closer and closer to the castle meaning that the battle was still raging and his unknown enemy was steadily advancing. After a few minutes his smile faded completely and was replaced by a worried frown as telltale sounds of clashing boulders and shredding metal began to come from all around the castle and even more worrisome, from the direction of the castle entrance.

"Edward, I'm scared," Bree whispered from beside me.

As soon as Aro had released Alice, Riley and I had gathered both her and Bree in the far corner of the throne room and taken up defensive positions in front of them. The sounds of battle were now getting louder and coming closer and closer to the throne room.

"It's alright Bree," I assured her, "I promise I will do whatever it takes to keep you all safe, you have my word."

"Thank you Edward, for everything. I would have never survived this long without you," she replied sincerely before wrapping her arms around me, the battle now raging directly outside of the throne room doors. "I love you Edward."

"I love you too Bree," I answered honestly as I looked fondly upon the girl I thought of as another sister.

Suddenly Bree grasped me tighter and I found myself being kissed passionately. I was so shocked that I didn't pull away, instead I felt my mind and body betray me as I imagined that it was my love that I was kissing. Why not pretend while I still have the chance I thought. I became momentarily lost in the kiss when the door to the throne room suddenly exploded inward.

* * *

Okay so you all hate me, I know and honestly I'm okay with it. This needed to happen, you know build the tension and what not. Anywho, please leave me your thoughts, comments, and death threats as an incentive for me to write faster. Things are getting good now!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	29. Werewolf

Werewolf

**Disclaimer: I checked my bank account and Twilight for sure isn't mine. Today's song is Werewolf by CocoRosie.**

BPOV

The swath of destruction before us was incredible. All around us lay scattered limbs still writhing as they tried to find their owners. The ground was slick with spilt venom and the air was filled with the thick purple smoke of our burning enemies, there would be no mercy today.

I kept all of my focus on retaining my shield, depending on Jake to keep me out of harm's way as we wove our way around the combatants. Jake was a blur of russet fur at my side as he leapt and dodged, pausing only long enough to rip the head off of any vampire who got too close.

In front of us Maria was engaged in a fierce battle with Felix, the captain of the Volturi guard. From the look on Maria's face they appeared to be battling for much more than just survival, it seemed personal. Leaving the combatants behind, we struggled to pick up a trace of Edward or Alice's scents but the noxious purple smoke was polluting the air making it impossible to pick up distinct scents.

"Anything?" I shouted loudly at the rampaging fur ball beside me. He just shook his giant shaggy head no. "Damn!" I cursed. Finding them would be harder than I had originally planned.

Just then, Jake's massive head jerked up as he cocked his head to the side. After a moment he nudged me in the side, pointing me in the direction he wanted me to go. Without a moment's hesitation I changed course and darted after my best friend. We twisted and turned down numerous dark corridors following an invisible trail.

As we ran the smoke polluted the air less and less, making it easier to pick up the distinct scents of many vampires. It wasn't but a moment before I picked up his distinct scent, Edward. After turning down yet another dark corner I began to hear voices and footsteps rapidly approaching. I continued running forward, unwilling to pause for even a moment, I was much too close to quit now!

The sound of feet pounding on the ancient stone floors got louder as we ran unflinchingly toward its source. We were nearing the area I remembered the throne room to be located when Jacob let out a feral snarl before throwing himself at the large male vampire swiftly approaching us. Jake made quick work of his vampire, Santiago judging from the head rolling past me, before returning to my side and leading the way toward the door of the Volturi's throne room.

Suddenly, Demetri the Volturi's best tracker and a female vampire leapt at us from behind, they had tried to catch us off guard. Jake quickly engaged Demetri in battle as I took on the girl. After dealing a few savage blows to my opponent, I recognized the blonde hair flying around me as belonging to Heidi, the Volturi's favorite toy for luring in their next meal. She let out an angry shriek as she fought for an opening to attack but found herself continually repelled. I was beginning to feel more confident, my shield was holding strong even when I was preoccupied. Having no desire to waste anymore time I quickly tore her head from her shoulders, vowing to return and complete the task of destroying her when I had more time. Right now all I wanted was to save Edward.

The voices coming from within the throne room were very clear now. I could hear Aro muttering something but more importantly I could hear Edward as well as a female's voice I didn't recognize. I felt a mixture of relief and anticipation course through me. I was so eager to see Edward I could feel a magnetic pull in my chest dragging me toward the sound of his voice. I just wasn't entirely positive he would be quite as thrilled to see me.

Jake was still engaged in a fierce battle, Demetri was a much stronger fighter than Santiago but I knew Jake could handle himself. I paused for just a moment outside of the daunting, ornately carved doors preparing myself to see Edward again when I heard the words that froze me in my tracks.

"I love you Edward," the unknown female said.

"I love you too Bree," my love answered without any hesitation.

I couldn't move we had made a terrible mistake. He didn't love me he loved this Bree, Jasper had been wrong. Everything was going terribly, terribly wrong. The only good thing that could happen now would be recovering Alice since I was positive she truly loved my brother.

I silently berated myself for being such an idiot. I had been right he really didn't want me, he had this Bree. It was the only thing I was sure of now. He had never once told me he loved me but he professed his love for her without pause. My breath began coming out in short ragged gasps as the nearly healed hole in my chest ripped open with a vengeance.

I needed to tell Jake that we had to get out of here we had to leave while we still could. This had all been a terrible mistake. Hopefully Jasper had located Alice and I could find a cave to live in for eternity. I opened my mouth to tell Jake just that when Demetri threw Jake into me, sending me flying through the ancient wooden door.

I quickly righted myself, prepared to fend off an attack when the sight before me brought me to my knees. Edward was kissing someone else. I let out a wounded cry before I went totally numb, losing all control of my shield in the process. I heard the sound of metal being shredded as Jake disposed of Demetri before throwing himself in front of me, protecting me from both being attacked and the sight before me.

Suddenly, Jake and the entire rest of the room froze, save myself and the Volturi. Alec was using his power to cut off everyone's senses.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't little Isabella Cullen and the big bad wolf," Caius sneered from his marble throne across the room.

"My dear Bella, how good of you to join us," Aro said sarcastically while slowly making his way forward, his guard Renata never removing her hand from his obsidian robes. "Now my dear to what do we owe the pleasure of your unexpected company?" He asked before placing a papery hand on Jake's immobile foreleg.

Aro's dull red eyes glazed over briefly before he removed his hand and redirecting his attention to Caius. "It would seem that young Isabella here has orchestrated this entire disturbance just to steal the Masens away from us. She has even brought a pack of shape shifters to help her," he chuckled in amusement.

Caius let out an evil laugh as he strode confidently forward. "You are a fool Isabella," he spat acidly. "Can't you see the Masens don't want anything to do with you?" He asked gesturing widely to the group of figures standing frozen across the room.

Hidden in a corner I now realized that I had been mistaken before, Alice was indeed here. She was hidden behind a lanky blonde vampire who reminded me vaguely of Jasper. Her face, although frozen, appeared calm and I wondered if perhaps Jasper had also been a distraction for her, maybe it had all been a lie. No! I had to believe that there was a good reason why my family and friends were laying down their lives at this very moment.

Caius continued to advance toward me without hesitation. "You've really made it much too easy for us Isabella, bringing all those who oppose us to one place to be slaughtered."

I began to shake, terrified of what he would do to Jake and the rest of my family now that my shield was down. I tried feebly to spread it back out but to no avail, I wasn't strong enough. I had failed everyone and now they would die for my weakness.

Caius took one disgusted look at Jake before grabbing him around the throat and throwing him against the wall, causing rubble to shower down upon his frozen form. In doing so he had again revealed to me Edward's lasting moment of passion, bringing forth a new wave of agony and making it truly impossible to help my friend, my focus entirely directed toward the scene before me.

"Poor poor Bella," Jane hissed, her bloody red eyes glowing with excitement. "Too weak and scared to fight just because your stupid boyfriend found someone better, you're no fun," she pouted crossing her arms and jutting out her bottom lip like a petulant child.

"Now now my dear," Aro soothed his favorite minion, "you mustn't get upset. You'll have your fun with Isabella soon enough. For now why don't you amuse yourself with her pet?" He suggested indulgently, gesturing toward Jake's frozen form.

Jane's pout quickly morphed into an evil grin as she turned her focus toward Jacob. As she stepped nearer to him she cut off my line of vision, diverting my focus to the pile of fur laying mere feet from where I had collapsed. I watched in horror as it began to move.

Alec had released his hold on Jacob allowing him to regain not only movement but also his ability to feel the torture Jane was about to inflict, Jane wasted no time. The sound of Jake's pained howls followed by tortured whimpers soon echoed throughout the castle. I watched as his strong body contorted unnaturally in on itself as he tried to escape from the flames that were burning him from the inside. I wanted to help him, to stop his pain but I couldn't. I was good for nothing, completely worthless.

Aro and Caius watched the sadistic torture of the large wolf with amused expressions before turning their attention back to me.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. Such a pity," Aro murmured disapprovingly. "You are such a talented young lady and we would have so enjoyed having you join our little family but you've really forced my hand. If there is one thing I absolutely abhor it is disloyalty of any kind. There is only one thing for it I'm afraid," he said with a sad shake of his head. "You, your family, those traitors, and your little dog friends will all have to pay for your serious transgressions my dear."

Caius' face had lit up like a kid on Christmas morning while Aro was speaking. I knew from experience that Caius was the most sadistic of the three brothers and derived the most pleasure from torturing and killing.

"Dear brother please, allow me to do the honors," he asked politely.

"Of course brother," Aro acquiesced with a smile.

I resigned myself to my fate. I would not fight as I had nothing left to fight for. Edward didn't love me, he never had, the proof was frozen right in front of me. My family would be killed and so would the pack and I was powerless to stop it. The only one who would make it out of this alive would be Jake and I knew he could survive without me, he always had. I closed my eyes ready to take what ever torture Caius would inflict upon me before eventually tearing me to pieces when I heard an enraged roar echo through the large chamber. My eyes shot open in surprise.

Jake was struggling under Jane's assault to rise to his feet. Caius paused to stare in disbelief at the sight before him. From what I knew about Jane's power she crippled anyone she set her sights on with her ability to burn them from within their minds. I had never heard of anyone fighting off her power as well as Jacob was.

Caius had turned his attention back to me when Jake leapt in front of me, trying to shield me from the coming attack. Caius would not be deterred he flew toward Jake, going right for his jugular. Jake struggled to fend him off but with the full force of Jane's mental attack as well as Caius's physical attack he didn't stand a chance.

Caius was known for his hatred of werewolves and it seemed he carried the same hatred toward shape shifters as he showed no mercy. I watched in horror as Caius ripped into my best friend, blood and fur flying everywhere. As I watched my closest friend being ripped apart and listened to his pained howls I found purpose, a reason to fight back. I couldn't stand it anymore, I couldn't bear to watch someone else suffer at the hands of these monsters.

I heard another of Jake's massive bones shatter and I snapped. I gathered enough strength and willpower to control my physical shield and threw it around Jake and myself, knocking Caius back a few feet with the force of it. I struggled past the leaden feeling in my limbs and crawled to his side, desperate to provide him with some sort of comfort.

At some point during Caius' attack Jacob had shifted back into human form, perhaps the ferocity of the assault and the extent of his injuries caused him to be unable to maintain his wolf form any longer. I picked up his head and cradled it gently in my lap, pushing his hair matted with blood back from his face.

I looked down the length of his body and saw that his wounds were extensive. It appeared that both his legs were broken as well as his left arm. His breathing was shallow and he was wheezing, most likely from a punctured lung. His entire body was slick with blood spilling from the numerous gaping wounds covering his body, the worst being the one in his neck. With every beat of his massive heart his lifeblood gushed out spilling across the stone floor yet I felt no desire for his blood, the fire in my throat had been temporarily extinguished.

"Jake I …"

"Sshh Bells," he wheezed with a grimace. "It's alright. I'm ready for this to end."

"It's okay Jake don't talk, just save your strength. Soon you'll be healed and then we'll find some way out of here," I assured him while stroking his hair, ignoring the angry vampires who were not throwing themselves angrily at my small but unbreakable shield.

"Not … gonna … happen Bells," he choked out in between coughs. "I'm not walking away from this one."

I looked down at my best friend in disbelief. There was no way, he was invincible he was Taha Aki the great spirit warrior. He couldn't die, right? "Jake I thought …"

He gave me a wan smile before succumbing to another coughing fit this time coughing up dark red blood. "So did I Bells but to tell you the truth I'm glad. This has all felt like a crazy dream for so long, I just want to see my family again."

The sound of his heartbeat was getting fainter and I realized that not only had his broken ribs punctured his lungs they had also pierced his giant heart. He was fading quickly and would soon die in my arms. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, wishing I could open them and find this was all a bad dream but unfortunately, demons don't dream.

"Bella promise me," Jake breathed struggling to find his voice, "promise you'll fight."

As much as I wanted to give up, to follow my best friend into the infinite abyss I nodded my head in agreement, unable to deny him his last request.

"I promise."

"And listen Bella, listen to your heart."

I looked down at him questioningly but my words never made it past my lips. Jake's eyes had taken on a faraway look as he gazed far into the distance. Perhaps he could see his loved ones gathering together in the distance, ready to welcome their warrior home. If anyone deserved a life after death it was Jacob, he had sacrificed so much and lost so many in his centuries on this planet that it was inconceivable that he not be rewarded for his sacrifices.

The giant in my arms let out a shuttering breath before his heart thumped once more weakly then lay silent, never to beat again.

I let out a pained sob before I closed his eyes, praying that he was finally with his family who had gone so long before him. At that moment I vowed that I would fight, not for myself but for Jacob, for everyone that had been taken away by these monsters without a second thought, for everyone who had ever suffered unnecessarily at the hands of these devils.

I said one last goodbye to Taha Aki, my brother and best friend, before closing his eyes for the last time laying him down gently. The sound of the pack's pained howls rang throughout the castle, they were coming to avenge their leader.

I took a deep breath before rising purposely to my feet. I would allow myself to mourn Jacob's death later, right now I would make sure that the Volturi got what was coming to them. They would pay for their sins, oh god would they pay.

* * *

So, um, yeah … Please don't hurt me! It had to happen and if it makes it any better, he's happier now I promise. He really missed his family and he's had to watch everyone he's cared about die for the past few centuries. The Cullens at least have each other to spend eternity with.

Please, please, please review! I really want to know what you think I actually use a lot of the ideas and theories from your reviews to make this story better!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	30. You Should Have Killed Me When

You Should Have Killed Me When You Had The Chance

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight, sigh. Today's song is You Should Have Killed Me When You Had The Chance by A Day To Remember.**

BPOV

I felt a burning begin behind my eyes as I released the full brunt of my anger, hurt, and frustration upon my enemies. They were immediately thrown back into the rough stone walls by an unseen force of immeasurable power. The strength of my shield had increased exponentially and I planned to utilize it in order to complete my mission of destruction. I had never felt so in control of my shield yet so utterly out of control all at the same time.

The rage built within in me, burning away all my feelings of loss and despair for the moment and leaving behind a haze of red. Gone were my thoughts about Edward, replaced instead with my need to avenge Jacob, my brother. I heard a feral sounding roar echo through the chamber and briefly wondered where it was coming from until I realized it was issuing forth from my own mouth. Part of me registered that I was losing all control but an even more dominant part decided that I didn't care as I gave myself over to the monster within.

The Volturi were still pinned against the walls unable to move as I had not recalled my shield. Instead I applied more force as I pushed it further away from me, causing cracks to appear on their normally perfect features. Behind me in the ancient corridors I could hear the unmistakable sound of large paws pounding across stone intermixed with the sounds of more vampires quickly approaching but I couldn't find it in me to care. My only purpose in life now was causing as much pain as possible to those who had hurt me and those I loved.

I let out another feral roar as sank into my hunting crouch before I stalked toward my prey. I was a predator, made to kill and destroy and this time I would do my job well.

After a brief moment of strategizing, I chose to destroy the Volturi's favorite toys first. They would be a nice warm up for the main event. Besides, I wanted Aro and Caius to see exactly what was coming for them. They deserved to feel a smidgeon of the terror they had invoked in the scores of vampires and millions of humans they had hunted throughout the years.

Jane was closest to me and would become my first victim, I couldn't be more pleased. She deserved to suffer for all the pain she had inflicted throughout the years, merely for her own sick sadistic pleasure. At the thought of slowly ripping her to shreds my lips twisted up into a crooked smirk. This would be fun.

For the first time since I had met Jane over a century ago, her crimson eyes held fear. She knew she was staring death in the face and she was afraid, as well she should be. I saw the monster I had become reflected back in her eyes and inwardly I cheered. There was no use in fighting what I was any longer, instead I would embrace my animalistic side. I pulled my trusty lighter out of my pocket and flicked it open, what better way to deal with Jane than with flames as she had done to so many others?

I had heard from many old stories throughout the years that Jane and her twin Alec had been rescued by the Volturi centuries ago. A group of humans had attempted to burn them at the stake for being witches, unfortunately for many souls over the years they did not succeed. The way I saw it, I was just finishing the job.

With a growl I reached out and grabbed a hold of Jane's arm. Using my shield as leverage, I ripped it clean off of her body. Her screams urged me on. Her eyes widened in horror when I flicked on my lighter. I decided to draw this out as long as possible. Hell I had all the time in the world, no need to rush, they weren't going anywhere.

I proceeded to slowly tear each and every finger from her still struggling arm, burning them ever so slowly while she screamed loudly in protest. After every finger had been dealt with I moved on to the rest of her arm. The ends of her arm were weeping very flammable venom and her arm caught fire quickly. It wasn't long before I had to drop it to avoid being burnt myself. All the while Jane's tortured screams echoed around me. I paid her no heed, when had she ever shown her victims any mercy?

I continued burning her piece by piece until I grew impatient, tiring of her pleading screams and eager for the finale. I stepped forward and tore her head off. The monster inside of me roared in satisfaction as I threw her head and the rest of her body in the growing pile of burning ash. I let out a chuckle before turning my attention to my next victim.

During my playtime with Jane, the wolves as well as my family and several other vampires, had arrived outside of the throne room. I could feel them banging on my shield, trying to break through but to no avail. I was far too strong, they would never get in unless I let them in. In the back of my mind a small voice said I was glad to know that my family seemed to have survived the fighting but still, I paid them no heed. Nothing and no one would stop me now, I would have my revenge.

Alec was next in line. Only he, Jane, and Aro's personal guard Renata had been left inside the throne room to protect the brothers. No, that was wrong. The Masens and their … companions had stayed behind as well.

I wondered again if we had been wrong. Maybe they had wanted to go back to the Volturi, to their, others. The brothers must trust them if they kept them close rather than sending them out to fight.

My inner demon clamored for attention, letting lose a roared in anticipation of its next kill. It was eager for revenge. I'm sure if Alec could have passed out he would have. As it was he had begun to quake and tremble in fear of the inevitable. I decided that the best way to dispose of this nuisance would be to rob him of all of his senses as he had done so often before participating in the deaths of so many.

I threw a punch at his nose, feeling the marble crack beneath my unforgiving blows. Not being a vampire who is known for their physical strength this took more time than it would have taken someone twice my size but nevertheless with a captive who was unable to move to defend themselves I was quite successful in robbing the witch twin of his sense of smell.

Satisfied that his nose was destroyed I moved on to his sense of hearing. With a quick twist of my wrist I was able to rip of one ear and then the other, turning slowly to toss them into the fire that was still licking his sister's smoldering remains.

I decided to remove his sense of taste next, leaving his senses of sight and touch for last. I wanted him to see and feel what I was doing to his body.

I wrapped a portion of my shield closely around my hands, protecting them from his venomous teeth. It thrilled me to see that his mouth was already open for me. It took me a moment to realize it was because he was screaming. I shrugged my shoulders before wrenching his mouth open even wider. My hands made quick work tearing his tongue from his mouth. His screams grew more strangled as he thrashed in torment, unable to escape his fate.

A smile replaced my sneer. My time with this one was almost over and then I would be one step closer to the main event. The din in the chamber was becoming louder and louder. I shook my head to stay focused. I was beginning to feel a sense of peace and calm that I did not want. I didn't want to stop, I couldn't, I wanted this.

Focused on my task once more I stepped even closer to the thrashing body before me, pressing myself to it. It stilled, unsure of how to react to this sudden closeness. Its face was ruined, venom poured from every orifice yet still it wasn't enough to satiate the beast within me, it would never be enough. I brought my hand up, gently sweeping some wayward locks from its features before softly caressing its forehead and clawing out its eyes.

I allowed it to scream for only a minute more before slowly dismembering it piece by piece and throwing the remains into the growing pile of flames behind me.

The sounds around me grew louder and louder, reverberating within my protective bubble, distracting me from my task. I lashed out in frustration pushing the noise away from me. Satisfied, I turned my attention to the next form before me and found myself face to face with the devil.

"Isabella, Bella," it whimpered pitifully, "you don't want to do this. We're friends, remember?"

"You are no friend of mine," I hissed while sinking into a crouch.

""Of … of course I am," it sputtered while trying to turn its head, searching for a sign that help was coming no doubt. Well it was out of luck, its head was on the chopping block.

"No, you are a friend to no one and I will destroy you," I sneered. "You should have killed me when you had the chance."

My concentration was momentarily broken by a new sound coming from outside my shield. There was something different about this sound, something important but I couldn't figure out what it was. The beast inside me growled, eager for more carnage but I pushed it back. I needed to figure this out.

I straightened up and scanned the chamber. I noted the devils before me and the large fire to my right but the sound was coming from neither of these places. The haze that had taken over my mind began to burn away as I slowly turned to the left, now desperate to find the source of this sound.

Behind me, through the chamber entrance I could see my family pressed against my shield trying to force their way in. I saw the desperate looks on my parent's faces but I ignored them. The most important thing in the world right now was this voice.

It was so strange. Every other voice I could hear was either shouting or pleading but not this one. No this voice was different. It kept repeating my name quietly over and over again stopping only to utter words of comfort and adoration. I was so confused.

I continued to scan the outside of my shield until my eyes landed on a figure which only moments before had been frozen in place. I became even more confused.

I took a hesitant step forward urged on by the words being spoken. My quest for revenge was temporarily abandoned as every molecule in my body honed in on this one figure. I took another step and then another before stopping and placing my hands on my shield, using it like a glass wall.

"I love you Bella Cullen," the voice said before my shield collapsed and everything went black.

* * *

Yeah I feel like a sicko but oh well, Bella has lost her shit. There really is only so far you can push someone before they snap. Please review and let me know what you think!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	31. Blood

Blood

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer, not Bellarella. Today's song is Blood by My Chemical Romance.**

EPOV

I was trapped within my own mind, again, and I was desperate to know what was happening around me. All I knew for sure was that right after Bree kissed me the throne room door had burst inward and before I was able to see who or what had done it I had suddenly lost all control of my senses. I wondered briefly if I was dead before I started to pick up on the thoughts of those around me and realized that I wasn't quite that lucky, it was just Alec.

I was worried, not for myself but for the safety of Alice and the newborns. I had to protect them but that was impossible if I couldn't move to defend them. I let out an internal scream of frustration. Damn Alec! Someday he would get what was coming to him and I would just sit back and enjoy the show, I just wished that day would be today.

Concerned about what was taking place around me I quickly pushed my way into Alice's mind, praying she had seen something that would give me hope for a favorable outcome but I was met with the same all encompassing blackness as before, apparently nothing had changed. I turned my attention to Riley and Bree, quickly dipping into their minds and making sure they were relatively unharmed before searching for the minds of our attackers.

I found only one new mind in the room and thought I was surely mistaken. There had to be a large number of attackers to have made it this far into the castle otherwise the owner of this new mind must be unbelievably powerful. I focused all of my attention on this new mind and was startled to find that it was not entirely unfamiliar. I pushed further, desperately searching for answers. Who was this, what was happening, and why had they destroyed my love? I recoiled in horror when I found the answer to my first question.

It was Jacob, as in La Push shape shifter Jacob. I was horror struck at this revelation. How could he have done this? I thought he was her friend but he destroyed her, destroyed everyone. Had he really fooled us all into believing he only desired peace? I felt my rage boiling inside me when it was suddenly quenched by the sight of my love's face.

My mind reeled in shock, the look on her face was one of anguish and it tore me apart. My brain told me that this must be a memory of when he destroyed her but something was nagging me. Normally memories belonging to anyone, or anything, other than vampires were slightly hazy around the edges yet this was crystal clear. Also the setting was wrong, very familiar but still wrong.

Suddenly Jacob began to panic and all of my questions were answered when my own face came into view before his senses were cut off completely. Jacob was here which meant she was here and she was … she was alive!

I felt euphoric for about a nanosecond until reality came crashing back down around me. She was here, in Volterra, attacking the Volturi. This couldn't be happening! I had only just found her and now I was going to lose her again, forever. The blackness of my mind threatened to once again overwhelm me before I pushed it aside. If she had made it this far perhaps there was a chance, a small chance but still a chance.

I sensed the approach of Aro's vile mind and pushed my way inside, desperate to see what was happening. In doing so all of my questions were answered when he placed his hand on Jacob's frozen foreleg. She had come for me, for us, they all had. The sheer number of talented vampires and shape shifters who had chosen to take a stand with the Cullens against the Volturi was truly amazing.

Yet again the glimmer of hope for the future that had taken residence within my mind was suddenly dashed when Caius began to taunt my love.

"You are a fool Isabella. Can't you see the Masens don't want anything to do with you?"

I was ashamed to see myself through his mind still locked in a kiss with Bree. Oh God what she must think of me! She had taken such a chance, sacrificed so much just to see me in the arms of another. The arms of someone I thought of as only a sister. I deserved to burn in the innermost circle of Hell for eternity for what I had done to my love. She would never take me back now.

"You've really made it much too easy for us Isabella, bringing all those who oppose us to one place to be slaughtered."

I wanted to be sick, to scream, to fight, to explain, to beg for forgiveness but I was trapped, completely worthless and unable to protect the one I loved most.

"Poor poor Bella," Jane taunted with a hiss. "Too weak and scared to fight just because your stupid boyfriend found someone better, you're no fun."

I chanced a peek inside her twisted mind and was repulsed by what I found there. Her plans for torturing Jacob and my love were horrendous. I only gained a modicum of solace knowing that my love was immune from her most painful of talents but I was still fearful knowing that she was still vulnerable to physical attacks.

A few seconds later Alec began to release his hold over Jacob, allowing Jane to begin her 'playtime' and I begged my love to run, to save herself. Jacob was thinking the same thing. I heard from his tormented mind that he had given Carlisle his word to do whatever it took to keep my love safe and that he was willing to die for her if that's what it took. I would be forever grateful of his loyalty to my love.

Jacob struggled valiantly against Jane's torment, shaking it off better than anyone I had ever seen through sheer determination but too soon the pain Jacob was feeling became far too much for anyone to bare and I was forced to remove myself from his mind lest I burn along with him. When Caius stepped forward to finish the job I resigned myself to watching both my love and her loyal protector suffer and die at the hands of my jailers. I was therefore astounded when Caius was knocked back a few feet as my love crawled to the side of her fallen companion.

Nothing that was happening was making sense and I wondered if perhaps I had gone completely insane from stress and was just imagining everything that was happening in the room around me. Everything was so surreal. I watched as the now human Jacob met the afterlife cradled in the arms of an angel and it was then that I knew none of this could be real. During my time with the Cullens I had learned that he was the great spirit warrior Taha Aki and that he couldn't die yet he had. Yep, I decided, I had in fact gone completely insane.

From my spot inside Renata's terrified mind I watched in amusement as the angel of my delusions threw the Volturi against the ancient stone walls with some incredibly strong yet invisible force and kept them pinned there. She was both terrifying and beautiful, and avenging angel. As she advanced on Jane and began to tear her apart and burn her piece by piece I urged her on, eager for Jane to get a taste of her own medicine, even if it was only a figment of my imagination.

After finishing with Jane my angel advanced on Alec and I gave a cheer of satisfaction and encouragement. Finally my wish for Alec to be punished and destroyed would come true!

It was only after she had destroyed Alec's sense of hearing that I began to really question just how insane I really was. I seemed to be regaining my sense of smell and unless my insanity extended past my mind into the physical world I could definitely smell the distinctive smells of burnt vampire, spilled venom, and my love. I focused more and more of my attention on controlling the rest of my body, desperate to see, hear, and feel what was really going on around me.

As soon as the avenging angel violently ripped the tongue from Alec's screaming mouth I suddenly felt as though a tidal wave had washed over me as I regained all of my senses in a mind blowing rush. Now I could see, hear and smell and all of my senses were telling me that what I had witnessed before was real. Jacob and Jane truly were dead and my love really was alive.

I was enraptured by her presence, desperate to take her all in. Her smell was still the same her voice, although brutal and deadly, was still the same the only things that had changed were her features. If it was possible she had grown impossibly more beautiful than the last time I had seen her.

I tried to move, to go to her but I found myself held back by some kind of invisible force field. It made no sense, I knew my angel only had a mental shield but it seemed that she was now projecting some sort of physical shield around herself, using it not only for protection but also to pin down her enemies, including me.

Again I was aghast at the situation I had gotten myself into. I could only imagine what she thought of me after seeing me in the arms of another. I cursed myself for the lies I had been forced to tell her all those months ago when I left, for never telling her how I truly felt.

As she dealt Alec a final death blow I steeled myself to do what I should have done long ago. I began to call to her, to tell how much I adored her while trying to assure that everything would be alright and for the first time since leaving her I was sure it would be. So long as we were together everything would be alright. Nothing and no one would ever tear me from her side ever again.

As I called to her she turned her focus from Aro to scan the room. She seemed to be confused by something as she turned in place. Her searching gaze bypassed the worried faces and shouts of her family and friends who pressed together outside of her invisible barrier desperately seeking entrance into the chamber.

After an eternity her deep obsidian eyes finally landed on my face yet she showed no signs of recognition. She seemed puzzled by me and took a halting step forward before pressing her delicate little hands against the invisible wall just as one would against a solid glass pane.

I marveled at the wondrous sight in front of me before uttering the words I should have said long before and under different circumstances. "I love you Bella Cullen." It felt so good to say it, to allow myself to think her name let alone say it for the first time in months.

My good feelings were again cut short when I felt the force pressing against me suddenly disappear as Bella's eyes rolled back into her head and she collapsed where she stood. I rushed forward, just managing to catch her just before she hit the floor. I cradled her gently in my arms before crushing her prone form to my chest, unwilling to ever let her go again.

Around me the throne room erupted into chaos as the Volturi were released and everyone previously trapped outside rushed in to restrain them but I didn't care. All that mattered was the woman in my arms, my love, my angel, my Bella.

After a moment of bliss I became aware of hands attempting to pry Bella from my arms and I let out a fierce growl, ready to tear who ever dared to try and separate me from my love limb from limb. I would make what Bella had done to Jane and Alec look like a day in Disneyland.

The owner of the prying hands smartly backed off of Bella and it wasn't long before I felt two sets of arms wrapping me in a loving embrace. With shame I realized that I had just growled at Esme and Carlisle but I was still unwilling to relinquish my hold on Bella to anyone, even her parents. I vowed then to never to let her go again, no matter what.

* * *

Okay so Edward's POV, I hope you liked it and sorry I was a few days late in updating but my spring break was rather uninspiring. The next chapter will also be from his POV before we revisit crazed Bella again. As always I beg that you please comment and let me know what you think it helps me stave off my perpetual writers block!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	32. After The Bombs

After The Bombs

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer, Tex and Goldie on the other hand belong to me. Today's song is, After The Bombs by the Decemberists.**

EPOV

The chaos swirled madly around me. I felt a bit like a sparrow being tossed around in a hurricane while I clung desperately to my Bella. I could not focus on anything else, nothing else mattered. Within the chaos I had found peace as the trials I had endured began to fade away.

All around us orders were being shouted and there were brief scuffles but I paid no heed to anything. Ever since Bella's sudden collapse had caused the invisible barrier surrounding her to disappear, the world had gone completely mad.

"Edward," Jasper called tensely from his position in front of a bewildered looking Alice. "Edward I'm going to let Bella wake up now but I need you to stay calm. She's been through a lot and she will be very confused when she comes to. It's extremely important that you not get excited and startle her otherwise I can't guarantee she won't attack you. Can you do that?" he questioned.

I was slightly put off by his fears that Bella might attack me but I nodded my head in affirmation. I would contain my enthusiasm for the time being. Besides, I was confident that I would be able to show Bella just how glad I was to have her back in my arms soon enough.

Jasper began concentrating his empathy on Bella's prone form while I waited eagerly for my sleeping beauty to awake. I was staring intently at my love when I heard Bree sobbingly call out to me for help. The fear in her voice and the knowledge that she would be in danger if she and Riley were mistaken for being members of the Volturi forced me to tear my eyes away from the still unmoving angel cradled in my arms.

"It's alright," I assured the several battle weary vampires currently restraining both Bree and a very agitated Riley. "The newborns do not belong to the guard. They were brought here against their will a few months ago, just as Alice and I were."

With an approving nod from Carlisle at my assurances that neither Bree nor Riley were members of the guard, the vampires holding them hesitantly released he distraught newborns with wary looks. Riley stepped aside, simultaneously relieved to be free and trying his best not to gape at a beautiful blonde who had been holding him prisoner only moments before. He was a typical newborn as far as his inability to stay focused on one thing at a time.

Bree, on the other hand, ran to my side as soon as she was released. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and buried her head in my neck, seeking comfort and reassurance. I did not respond as I was far too consumed by the miraculous angel in my arms.

Before I could detach myself from the newborn's sudden, crushing embrace, I became very aware of the slight movements now taking place in my arms. Bella was beginning to stir. I looked down, eager to once again peer into the unfathomable depths of my true love's eyes.

Bella's nose wrinkled delicately before her eyes fluttered open, revealing two pitch black orbs. She appeared confused as her eyes searched the room before finally coming to rest on my own. I saw a smile ghost over her rosy lips just before her eyes drifted to the side and her face hardened and froze into a blank mask.

I couldn't understand her reaction until I realized she must be in shock, she had been through so much it was only natural that she would shut down to process everything that had happened.

"Jasper," I called out worriedly, "I think she's in shock. Is there anything you can do?" I pleaded, desperate for my love to be alright.

Jasper's brow furrowed in concentration before he shook his golden head in defeat. "I'm sorry Edward, her emotions have become much harder for me to manipulate since her shield evolved," he said with a sad sigh. "I got really lucky last time."

So her shield had evolved. Well that would explain why she had been surrounded by an impenetrable force field earlier. I had never heard of such a thing as powers evolving but then again I didn't get out much.

"Bella, Bella love," I pleaded. "Please love, talk to me."

Bella continued to stare blankly past me, her face betraying no emotion. I grabbed at my hair in frustration. If only I could read her mind I would know how to help her! Why did the single most important person in my life also have to be the one person who's mind was off limits to me?

"_Edward," _Jasper called through his thoughts, momentarily drawing my attention away from Bella's state. _"What's wrong with Alice? I've tried everything I can think of but she is so confused. I don't know what else to do."_

I let out an unsteady breath, unsure of how to tell Jasper that Alice had lost all touch with reality since watching his future blink out of existence. How could I tell him that in her fractured mental state she had actually fallen victim to Aro's demented plan to replace both Bella and Jasper with the newborns? Thankfully I was rescued by the sound of my love's voice.

"Daddy," she called quietly.

Instantly Carlisle was by her side looking every bit the concerned father. "I'm here baby. Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

Bella shook her head slowly while struggling to sit up, the wave of lethargy Jasper had knocked her out with was still wearing off. Hesitantly, I released my hold on her and attempted to scoot back. I was taken by surprise a second later when I discovered that Bree still had her arms around my shoulders, anchoring me in place.

Bella turned the full force of her gaze upon her father. "What happened? Is everyone … did anyone …" she trailed off quietly as her eyes came to rest upon Jacob's still form. She stared sadly at him for a moment before her view was obscured when one of wolves who was currently surrounding him shifted positions.

Carlisle's smooth brow had furrowed in worry while he watched his daughter stare at her deceased wolf friend. He quickly composed himself when she turned her obsidian gaze back toward him. "We're all right," he assured her. "We did lose a few newborns in the beginning but other than that most of us are relatively unharmed, mostly just a few new bites. A few of us lost limbs during the fighting but we have successfully found and reattached all of them. Other than a few broken bones that are rapidly healing the wolves are all fine. For the most part," he amended with a glance toward their huddled bodies.

Bella squeezed her eyes closed tightly before flinging herself into her father's arms and sobbing quietly. I couldn't help the jealousy I felt. I wanted to be the one to hold her, to comfort her in her time of need. I wanted to be the one she called to, yet I was not.

I was distracted from inner turmoil by Emmett and Rosalie's loud thoughts. Apparently they had been sweeping the castle, looking for any other guard members when they had stumbled across Marcus sitting calmly in the library. They had been prepared to defend themselves but he had come peacefully and now they were unsure of what to do with him.

With a longing look at a sobbing Bella, who was now wrapped in the loving embrace of both her parents, I managed to disentangle myself from Bree and strode toward one of the only vampires who had shown me any kindness during all my time in Volterra.

"Edward!" Emmett shouted clapping me on the shoulder before gleefully pulling me into a bear hug. "Man am I glad to see you! How you holdin' up?"

"I'm glad to see you too Emmett," I said with a smile. "I'm alright. I can't believe you did all of this. I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you enough."

"Don't thank us," said Rosalie as she stepped forward to pull me into an uncharacteristic hug. "Thank Bella and Jasper they're the ones who organized all of this."

"I certainly plan on it," I assured her sincerely while looking over my shoulder at my love. "I will forever be in their debt for this."

After receiving another uncharacteristic hug from Rosalie, I pushed my way into Marcus's mind, looking for answers. What I found surprised the heck out of me. Gone was the suffocating fog that had been present in his mind before. What I found now were crystal clear thoughts and an unhindered, rapidly processing, vampire mind.

I searched in vain for some sort of explanation as to why Marcus's mind was now running free but I found none. Instead, I learned of his hatred toward his brothers and his desire to end their oppressive rule. I watched Marcus's memories of his time with the Volturi and I was not surprised to see that Aro and Caius had always been monsters.

I was surprised to learn that Aro had apparently had Marcus's wife Didyme killed several hundred years ago. Marcus had tried to leave the Volturi but after that his memories took on the familiar oppressive fog. I could only assume that Aro and Caius were responsible for this but I still wasn't sure how or why the cloud had suddenly dissipated.

I became so enraptured by the mysteries of the ancient vampire's mind that I didn't notice the vampire who had come up behind me until he placed his hand on my shoulder. Surprised to be touched kindly after being tortured for so long I let out an instinctual snarl and sank into a defensive crouch before I remembered myself.

My eyes widened when I recognized the figure before me. I couldn't help but hiss as I looked into the face of a man whom I had only ever seen in hazy human memories and the minds of others. Before me stood the one who had doomed me to this existence and taken away my humanity without my consent, my maker.

"Eleazar," I growled before I bared my teeth and launched myself forward.

* * *

Sorry I haven't been as regular about updating, these past few chapters have been very hard to write. Please, please review and let me know what you think. I know there are hundreds of you out there reading this but I only get feedback from three or four of you. Anyway I hope you enjoyed it!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	33. Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

**Disclaimer: I have come to the realization that no matter how many stars I wish upon and how many pennies I throw down wells Twilight will never be mine. Today's song is Who I Am Hates Who I've Been by Reliant K.**

BPOV

The world had spun madly out of control and nothing was making any sense. One second I was staring into a pair of crimson eyes and the next I'm drowning in a world of complete darkness.

After the initial shock wore off, I realized that the pool of darkness I was currently floating in was familiar. I knew it had to be Jasper's doing and knowing that I was safe, I let go completely. Everything was so easy here, so painless that I never wanted to leave and I wondered if this was what death felt like.

I had been floating peacefully in the blessed nothingness for an eternity of seconds when the roaring started in my ears and my memories began quickly flooding back. As they did I tried in vain to sink back into oblivion, desperate to escape the truth of what had happened, of what I had done. I felt a gentle tug but ignored it while I relived the worst moments of my existence. I watched on repeat as Edward professed his love for and kissed someone else before I was forced to watch helplessly as my best friend was torn apart by a vampire. A vampire I could have stopped, would have stopped, had it not been for Edward.

The betrayal I felt was immeasurable. While I part of me desired Edward's happiness a far more dominant part felt completely betrayed. We had all sacrificed so much for him and now I didn't know if there had been any reason for it. Perhaps he left willingly and had meant what he said when he had left me in the forest. I had no doubt that Alice hadn't wanted to leave Jasper and I began to wonder if perhaps Edward had forced her to leave.

In addition to the betrayal I was feeling, I was completely disgusted with myself for not stopping Jacob's death. I had never hated myself so much. I knew it was my fault but a voice in the back of my mind also blamed Edward. If we hadn't come for him Jacob would definitely still be alive and if he hadn't chosen that particular moment to profess his love and kiss that girl Jacob would still be alive. I couldn't help but place some of the blame on him.

The anger and self loathing I was experiencing were like nothing I had ever felt before. Not once in my entire existence had I felt such hatred for myself or anyone else, not even when I had decimated Jane and Alec. I was so wrapped up in exploring this new depth in my emotions that had forgotten about the insistent tugging until I suddenly felt myself being pulled violently backwards.

I fought against the phantom pull with everything I had left, desperate to remain in this place where nothing more could hurt me, where I myself could do no more damage to anyone else. After the most intense battle I have ever fought, I lost. Faster and faster I was pulled from my sea of tranquility toward the ever increasing roar and blinding light as I was dragged unwillingly back to the real world.

I never wanted to open my eyes, to face the truth of what I had done but there was no help for it. As I regained control of my body the overwhelming sweet smell of charred vampire flesh assaulted my senses and I wrinkled my nose in disgust before slowly opening my eyes.

I was met with a scene of utter chaos. As my eyes adjusted and the roaring dulled I surveyed the room slowly. I was confident that most of our allies had survived the battle yet I knew nothing of my family. I vaguely remembered glimpsing them outside of my bubble but I was unsure of how much time had passed and what may have taken place since then. I prayed I had not lost complete control and hurt the ones I loved.

I continued to scan the room but stopped when I was met by a familiar pair of crimson eyes staring intently down upon me. My breath caught in my throat and I felt my undead heart constrict painfully within my chest.

As I looked into Edward's eyes I remembered what he had said just before my shield had fallen. I felt a small smile forming on my lips in spite of myself only for it to fall quickly from my face when I saw a small movement behind Edward. Upon further inspection I was horrified to find that he girl I had seen him kissing was now wrapped lovingly around his shoulders.

Immediately I shut down, trying to protect myself from even more pain. There was only so much I could handle at one time. I heard Edward shouting to Jasper, something about shock but I paid no attention to his words, instead I focused on remaining in control and keeping Jasper out.

I knew instinctually that if I were to let Jasper back in I would lose control of my emotions completely and either make a fool of myself by diving into the arms of a man who was in love with someone else or I would once again give into the monster I had just managed to chain back up. Neither scenario was a viable option.

I was so conflicted right now that I needed to figure out exactly what I was feeling. I was simultaneously angry, hurt, destroyed, relieved, and in love. I couldn't make sense of any of it and I desperately needed an escape. I had to get away and I knew one person who would keep me safe, no matter what.

"Daddy," I called. My golden haired saint of a father was by my side before the word had completely left my lips.

"I'm here baby. Are you alright? Are you hurt?" My father asked concern etched across his flawless marble features as he quickly examined my body for injury.

I shook my head while struggling to sit up. "What happened? Is everyone … did anyone…" I trailed off quietly as my eyes landed on Jacob's still body.

"We're all right," Carlisle assured me. "We did lose a few newborns in the beginning but other than that most of us are relatively unharmed, mostly just a few new bites. A few of us lost limbs during the fighting but we have successfully found and reattached all of them. Other than a few broken bones that are rapidly healing the wolves are all fine. For the most part," he corrected with a glace toward the pack.

At the reminder that Jacob was dead I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and threw myself sobbing into my father's protective arms. Within moments I felt Esme's familiar comforting arms wrap around me as well and I allowed myself to cry out all of my hurt. Never had I wanted so desperately to be able to cry tears as I did now. Instead, I felt myself begin to shake as heartbroken, dry sobs wracked through my body.

"I'm … I'm sorry," I managed to choke out in between sobs.

"It's okay sweetie," Esme soothed brushing my hair lovingly away from my face. "It's not your fault."

Her assurances just made me sob harder as the guilt pressed heavily down upon me.

"Hey, hey," Carlisle said, catching my chin and forcing me to look into his golden eyes. "It's over. We got what we came for, you saved Alice and Edward and now you and your brother can have your happily ever afters. I know you're upset about Jacob and that's completely understandable but you need to know that no one blames you. I'm sure there's nothing more you could have done Bella. I know you did everything you could for him."

My knees gave out and I sank to the ground as the burden of Jacob's unwarranted death weighed heavily upon me. I was so unworthy of their love. If only they knew what I had done, how I had simply sat by and watched him die. I had as good as murdered him myself. I knew they would never forgive me for what I had done and failed to do, just as I would never forgive myself.

"Don't," I begged between sobs, "please don't say that. You don't, you don't know," I sobbed into Carlisle's torn shirt.

"Don't know what Bella?" Esme asked confused.

"You don't know what happened, you don't understand," I wailed now completely inconsolable.

By now Rosalie and Emmett had joined our impromptu reunion and were looking at me worriedly.

"Then tell us Bells. What don't we know?" Emmett asked with uncharacteristic seriousness as he wrapped his large arm protectively around Rosalie.

"You don't know what I did. You shouldn't want me. I don't deserve you, any of you," I whispered unable to look any of them in their golden eyes.

I knew I had to tell them the truth. They needed to know what a monster I really was as well as how unworthy of their love and comfort I was. I owed them that much.

I steeled myself against the looks of revulsion I was sure to receive when my dirty little secret was revealed. I was certain they would send me away and I couldn't blame them. I hated who I was and more importantly, who I had been.

I closed my eyes as I prepared to speak the words what would drive them away from me forever but the words never came. Instead an angry roar interrupted my confession and everyone's heads whipped to the side just in time to see Edward launch himself at an incredibly startled looking Eleazar.

The room once again erupted into complete chaos as Edward began to tear into my beloved uncle. Everything happened so fast it would have been impossible to follow without my superior vampire vision.

Tanya was the first to reach the duo. Moving quickly, she managed to get her hands on Eleazar and knock him out of the way before Edward was able to rip his arm off. Tanya, on the other hand wasn't quite so lucky.

I watched, horror struck, as Edward bit into my favorite cousin's flesh and came away with a sizeable chunk of her forearm. She let out a pained scream while I focused my energy on recalling my shield. I was unwilling to let another of my loved ones die because of my ill fated, one sided infatuation with Edward Masen.

I felt the power course through me and I shot my shield outward to knock Edward off of Tanya, only for it to be beaten by a young blonde vampire. I remembered seeing him by Alice just before Alec had frozen the room and I wondered why he was loose. Every other member of the Volturi still living was currently under tight guard, yet this one was seemingly running free.

The young vampire threw Edward across the room and into the ancient stone wall with such strength that it was immediately obvious he was a newborn. Edward quickly regained his footing but before he could attack again he found himself pinned against the wall by my shield for the second time.

"You got him Bells?" Emmett asked as he quickly moved to restrain Edward so I could release my shield.

I bobbed my head in affirmation after discovering I had apparently lost the ability to talk once I became trapped in Edward's fathomless eyes.

"Alright Bellaroo, you can let go now. We've got him," Emmett called as he and Stefan fought to restrain a still struggling Edward.

I let out a small sigh of relief when I retracted my shield and managed to tear my eyes away from his pained features. It didn't require much for me to hold my physical shield once I managed to manifest it but it was such an extension of myself that it felt as though I had just pressed my entire body to Edward's. I felt incredibly raw and exposed yet strangely calmed by the whole experience.

I was distracted from the complete fucked upness currently going on inside of my head by Carlisle's worried voice.

"Eleazar, what happened?"

"I'm not sure," Eleazar responded slowly, "I simply placed my hand on his shoulder when he attacked. I just wanted to … apologize, for everything."

"You! You did this to me, you monster!" Edward shouted accusingly from where he was still struggling against Emmett's unbreakable hold. "You didn't give me a choice. You took away my chance at salvation and made me into this, this freak! You damned me you bastard!"

Eleazar's face fell at Edward's cruel words. I knew from Eleazar confessions that he had always regretted having to change Edward and then abandoning him with the Volturi but he had been given no choice in the matter. Had he gone against the Volturi both he and his coven would have been destroyed. Surely Edward could see that from Eleazar's thoughts.

Personally, I had never been overly excited about being a vampire but I had always managed to remain positive. Knowing that if had Carlisle not changed me all those years ago I would have died an untimely death and never been given the chance to experience having a real family made all of the unpleasantness that comes from being a vampire fade into the background.

As Edward continued to verbally abuse my uncle I felt my rage building. His words were just fanning the flames of my ire. As he screamed about all of the injustices he had suffered because of Eleazar I began to shake. Listening to Edward's tirade I had been given my answer, Edward had never loved me. He had lied to me just to save his own skin.

Never, even during my darkest of days, had I ever regretted being saved. I loved my family, Jacob, and Edward far too much for that. I began to realize just how selfish Edward really was as he detailed everything he hated about his existence. Never once did he say that he was thankful for Alice, for anyone, not even this girl he claimed to love. He was so blinded by hate and the personal injustices he had suffered that it left no room for the good things that had come from his change. I wondered if he was actually capable of feeling love.

I was disgusted by him, I felt like I had been robbed of something very important. The first time someone outside of my family had professed their love for me it had been a total lie. It made me feel used and dirty somehow.

"Stop!" I commanded, hitting Edward with my shield again to get him to shut up. I gestured for Emmett and Stefan to give me some space which they readily did. "Just stop," I commanded much more calmly. "How could you be so selfish? Can't you see what your words are doing to him?" I asked as I gestured to Eleazar, who had now sunk to his knees and was hanging his head in shame.

Edward's face softened as his eyes met mine. He opened his mouth to say something but I held up my hand silencing him.

"Save it, it's my turn to talk," his mouth snapped shut and his eyes grew wider in surprise. I had never spoken to him like this. "How could you be such an asshole? You know firsthand what the Volturi have done, how they have ruled through terror for centuries. You know that this man was forced to do what he did yet you damn him? He just risked his life and the lives of his family for yours yet instead of thanking him you attack him. Had he not saved you that day you would be rotting in your grave right now. Can you find nothing in your existence that has been better because of him?"

Edward looked away and managed to look ashamed before he met my eyes once again. "You," he replied calmly. The sound of his angelic voice caused a ripple of disgust to course through my body while simultaneously igniting a spark within my chest.

"What?" I snapped angrily.

"You're what has made this cursed existence worth it. I love you."

"No!" I screamed, pushing so hard on my shield that cracks began to appear on his flawless face. "Stop saying that, you don't mean it!"

"But I do love," he answered soothingly, "I love you Bella."

"Liar!" I cried vehemently.

"Bella," Jasper called while trying to send out calming vibes that I managed to bat away with almost no effort. "Listen Bells I know …"

"You don't know anything!" I shouted. "No one does!"

"I know," Aro taunted evilly.

I had all but forgotten about the ancient devils still being restrained in the corner of the stone chamber.

"What?" I sputtered, knowing that he had witnessed firsthand my darkest sin. I was terrified that he would reveal my crime before I was ready to admit what I had done.

"I know," Aro continued triumphantly. "I know everything Isabella. I know all about your time with young Edward and I know all about what happened when he left you."

"I … what … how?" I choked out. There was no way he could know, he had to be bluffing. Aro wasn't able to read my mind and besides even if he could I had never actually touched him.

"Your little pet showed me everything I needed to know. Quite interesting really, it seems you and your brother handled the Masens departure quite poorly. Unfortunate really, they never shed a single tear over either of you. I'm speaking figuratively of course. But truthfully they simply went about their duties and even managed to find themselves new mates as I'm sure you've seen."

I was finding it hard to breathe and my knees began to shake. I felt a strong hand steady me and looked to see a shaken looking Jasper steadying me. "You're lying," I accused him, "Alice would never replace Jasper." I heard Edward inhale sharply but I ignored him.

"Maggie," I called, searching for the Irish vampire who could detect lies. "Tell me he's lying, please," I begged for Jasper's sake.

Sadly she shook her head, "I'm afraid he's telling the truth."

I felt Jasper falter beside me in response to her words and it was my turn to steady my brother, the fearless warrior.

"That's not true," Edward argued vehemently. "Alice is just confused, surely you can feel that Jasper. She lost her mind after seeing your futures disappear. We thought you were dead, she doesn't know any better, she believes Riley to be Jasper. I've tried to explain to her that he isn't but she's just too far gone."

I turned once again to Maggie for answers. "He's speakin' the truth," she confirmed.

"You tricked her?" Jasper seethed, anger rolling off of him in waves. "You made her believe that this, this newborn was me? What kind of vile creature would do that?"

"Spare me your righteous indignation," Caius interjected dryly. "You're really one to talk Major Whitlock. After all the heinous things you've done during your time on Earth, you dare to call us monsters? Please. Oh and let's not forget about sweet, innocent Isabella here."

"Don't you dare!" Jasper shouted angrily but his outrage only managed to encourage Caius to go on.

"She is but a wolf in sheep's clothing. Did you not all just witness what Isabella did to poor Alec and Jane? She never gave them a fighting chance she tortured them in ways that even after millennia I would never have imagined. And you call us monsters," he spat snidely. "Oh and shall I tell you about what she did, or more appropriately didn't do for her so called friend?"

I began to visibly shake, unable to move as all of my sins were brought to light. All eyes were focused on Caius now and the room was silent. I wanted to run away, to shout that he was lying but my legs were anchored to the floor and my voice had been stolen from me. I bowed my head in shame as he continued on.

"Nothing, she did nothing! Your dear, sweet Isabella obviously had the power to save the dog yet she sat there, yes actually sat there, and watched him die. He was willing to sacrifice himself for her, he willingly died for her, yet she never lifted so much as a finger to help him before he died. If that's not a monster, I don't know what is."

Every eye in the chamber turned toward me and I buckled under the scrutiny, falling to my knees and bowing my head, unable to face the looks of disgust and hatred that were undoubtedly directed at me. I couldn't face my family and certainly not the wolf pack. I had taken away their father, their alpha, and I had left them with nothing.

"Bella?" Esme questioned.

"It's true," I admitted quietly. "It's all true. I am no better than them, I'm a monster."

"I don't believe that," Carlisle said confidently.

"That's because you believe the lie. I'm a monster, I've killed people. I would have killed you given the chance," I whispered.

"I trust you Bella, we all do," he assured me as he crouched by my side and placed his hand reassuringly on my shoulder.

"Don't," I breathed shrugging him off.

"You see," Caius crowed smugly, "even she admits it."

"You know I've had just about enough of you," Rosalie growled stepping forward and wrapping her hand around his throat, ready to tear his head off at a moment's notice.

"Please," a whispery voice said, "allow me the honor."

The sound of the foreign voice asking to deal the death blow to the brothers was enough to cause even me to look up in surprise. Marcus was standing quietly near the doorway where Rosalie and Emmett had left him under the care of the Amazons looking more alive than I remembered ever seeing him. Gone was the perpetual milkiness from his eyes replaced instead with a look of determination.

"For too long I was forced to sit by as you destroyed countless lives, including my own. I tried once to stand against you, only to be enslaved for centuries by Chelsea's power but not now. Now I'm free, free to avenge the murder of my beloved Didyme." Aro looked as though he would be ill and Marcus continued. "You think I didn't know that you murdered my wife, your own sister? Please Aro give me some credit, I'm not an idiot. I've always known I was just powerless to do anything about it but no longer. I will avenge the death of my beloved."

"Marcus, brother, be reasonable," pleaded Caius.

"I am not, nor have I ever been your brother Caius. You are just as guilty as this wretch. You have let your power corrupt you, to twist you into something so vile that you have no place on this earth. Hell is where the two of you belong and with the acquiescence of these noble crusaders I intend to send you there myself."

No one moved the only sounds to be heard were coming from the rapidly beating hearts of the wolves who were still gathered protectively around Jacob. Unsure of what to do or say everyone turned to Edward and Maggie for answers.

"He speaks the truth," was all Maggie had to say.

Edward cleared his throat uncomfortably. "His thoughts are as pure as Aro and Caius's are evil. Aro did in fact murder his own sister in cold blood centuries ago. Didyme and Marcus weren't interested in Aro's desire for world domination and planned to go their own way. When Aro found out he pretended to give his blessing but conspired to murder his own sister. From what I have seen from all three of their minds Marcus is as innocent a victim of their evil plans as any of the rest of us."

"'Tis true," supplied Maggie.

"I say we let him kill them," Vladimir volunteered.

"I second the motion," Stefan called excitedly.

"Come come my friends," Aro pleaded desperately, "I'm sure we can all come to some sort of accord. Carlisle, surely you will not allow us to be killed in cold blood?"

"I ___don't relish the thought of killing another living creature__._ Even___ a _sadistic one such as yourself but I'm afraid I must agree to Marcus's request. You are far too dangerous to be allowed to continue on."

Once Carlisle gave his consent most of the other heads in the room nodded in approval of Marcus's request. Rosalie released her grip on Caius's throat and took a satisfied step backwards. Seeing this Marcus closed his eyes for a brief moment before he glided forward to deal the final death blow to the captors who had called him brother for millennia.

* * *

I hope this chapter cleared up the questions some of you had about whether Aro and Caius were dead or not. Sorry the last chapter was a little confusing for some of you but it was supposed to be. It took place over a matter of several very intense minutes during which Edwards world has suddenly gone completely insane. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter and feel free to ask me about anything I didn't explain well and I will be sure to try to clear up any questions you have in the next chapter. This chapter took forever to write because I was trying to figure out how to tie up several loose ends and I hope I did alright. Keep your eyes for the next chapter!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	34. The Cold, The Dark & The Silence

The Cold, The Dark & The Silence

**Disclaimer: I own Twilight belongs to me … okay not really but it was fun to pretend. Today's song is The Cold, The Dark & The Silence by Sea Wolf.**

BPOV

Marcus was in a word, efficient. He wasted no time in killing Caius and Aro. He did not torture or taunt his victims as I had, he simply snuffed them out, no muss no fuss. I felt dirty.

Once the remaining Volturi guard members were dealt with, the next few days flew by at a snail's pace. The castle was abuzz with the many goings on.

After much debate, it had been decided that Marcus would take over as ruler. This was a move Vladimir and Stefan fought against tooth and nail, until they were promised a governorship of sorts over the majority of Eastern Europe. Maria had volunteered to assist in the rebuilding of the government along with what was left of her newborns. Her offer was accepted with the understanding that she would not create any more newborn armies, ever. She had readily agreed.

It was also unanimously agreed upon that our two main rules would remain in place, keep the secret and no immortal children. Now everyone's focus was directed toward rebuilding. The citizens of Volterra had only recently been allowed back into the city after being told that one of the gas lines had in fact exploded, explaining the leftover wreckage around the city.

The wolves had kept out of the way as much as possible, choosing to occupy themselves with scouring the surrounding countryside for the few members of the Volturi who had been out of the city when we had attacked. They were also arranging for the transport of Jacob's body back to La Push.

Jacob's death had come as a crushing blow and I couldn't bear to face the accusing looks I was sure to receive. I had been unlucky enough to find myself face to face with one of the wolves a time or two and each time they looked as if they wanted to say something but stopped themselves before they did. It was too much. I was just thankful I hadn't happened across Seth, he and Jacob had always been closest but he and Leah had been engaged in battle when Jacob was killed and to the best of my knowledge he still hadn't stepped foot in Volterra proper.

Once the rebuilding was over, the wolves and the rest of my family would be traveling back to America on our private jet in about a week's time. The Masens and their newborns would also be making the jump across the pond while Alistair and the various members of the European and South American covens would be returning to their respective homes.

I would not be joining them. I was leaving today, alone. I hadn't told anyone of my plan but I had no worries about Alice finding out, her visions were still so spotty because of the continued presence of the wolves and she was so wrapped up in Jasper that it would be a miracle if she were to actually see me leaving. I just needed to create some sort of diversion to distract everyone else.

It was imperative that I have some time to be completely alone to try and sort things out. I had attempted repeatedly to withdraw into my mind and come to terms with everything that had occurred but each time I was interrupted by one of the many vampires currently inhabiting the castle, Alice being one of the worst.

After the brothers had been dealt with, Jasper had managed to calm Edward down enough for him to explain what had happened to them since they had left Forks. It was during this retelling that Eleazar revealed Edward's new mind control powers. As it turn out both his and Alice's powers had evolved since leaving Washington but they had been too preoccupied to really notice.

With Carlisle's encouragement, Edward had recounted every time he may have used his new mind control abilities until he realized that just before the attack began he had ordered Alice not to view visions of our futures anymore. After this revelation Edward had commanded Alice to unblock her visions and more importantly, to remember Jasper.

As soon as Edward 'flipped the switch' in Alice's mind the change was immediately evident. Gone was the lost and bewildered waif, replaced instead with a fireball full of love and energy. Alice had been happy to see and recognize the entire family but Jasper most of all. Since being reunited they had not broken physical contact for even a moment. It was as if they were one entity, always moving together. While I was happy for Alice and my brother I couldn't suppress the seed of jealousy that had taken root in my soul. I couldn't understand why I couldn't have that.

Ever since the incident in the throne room, I had managed to dodge Edward repeatedly but I knew my luck would soon run out. Unfortunately, I was still not ready to face him. I was having a hard time coming to terms with the role I had played in Jacob's death and the realization that I would never get my happily ever after.

I couldn't bear to actually stare disappointment in the face since I knew there would be no other for me. Vampires mate once for eternity and judging by how deeply I had fallen in love with Edward there was no hope for me. Death would have been a welcome respite from an eternity of guilt and loneliness but I knew I would have a difficult time finding a willing executioner.

As I walked aimlessly through the ancient castle, avoiding coming into contact with anyone, I caught a whiff of Edward's distinct scent. I frantically searched the surrounding area, desperate for a means of escape but I was too slow. I could feel him before I saw him and knowing that I couldn't escape him I quickly checked that my shields were in place. Since leaving the throne room I had kept my physical shield wrapped so tightly around myself that it had become like a second skin. I was so unwilling to be touched at this point that it was entirely necessary.

"Bella!" Edward exclaimed happily, his entire face lighting up like a child on Christmas morning. "Love, you have no idea how happy I am to see you." I winced slightly at his exclamation but he either didn't notice or simply chose to ignore it. "I know the past few months have been difficult but we're together now and … "

I interrupted him, angry that he would assume he had any idea what the past few months had been like for me. Maggie had confirmed that Aro wasn't lying when he told us that Edward and Alice had gone about their regular duties once they returned to Volterra. I didn't blame Alice. I knew what she had been through but Edward was a whole other ball of wax.

After he had left me alone in the woods I had suffered, we had all suffered. I had been forced to tell my brother that his soul mate had simply up and left him without any explanation. There was no reason for it. Yes, I had accepted the fact that Aro had threatened to kill us all if they didn't return to Volterra but there was no excuse for the cruelty he showed me in the woods that day. If he hadn't wanted me he shouldn't have led me on in the first place, he should have respected me enough to be honest with me, with all of us. Jasper should have been given the chance to fight for Alice, heaven knows we all would have stood beside him and Alice wouldn't have been forced to suffer so.

"You presume too much Edward," I retorted cuttingly. "You cannot begin to imagine what the past few months have been like for either me or my family and frankly, it is none of your business."

"But Love," he said beseechingly while unleashing the full force of his hypnotic gaze upon me, "I do know. Jasper and the rest of your family have shown me…"

I interrupted him. "Don't Love me Edward," I hissed angrily. "They had no right to show you any of that, as I said before it's really none of your business and honestly I don't know why you seem to care so much." I turned on my heel quickly, desperate to escape from his presence. My resolve was cracking and it was only a matter of time before I fell to my knees and begged him to love me, I couldn't let that happen.

"Bella please," he called, exasperation evident in this voice. I ignored him and picked up my pace. "Bella," he shouted grabbing a hold of my shielded elbow and spinning me roughly around. "Don't just walk away from me," he growled angrily. "I've been trying to talk to you for days and now that I've finally got you alone you look at me like I'm dirt and refuse to give me the time of day. What's gotten into you?"

I glared hatefully into his eyes as I snatched my arm back forcefully. "What's gotten into me?" I asked, my strained voice raising an octave as I tried to keep from becoming hysterical. "What's gotten into me? I'll tell you what's gotten into me. For months, I watched as my family slowly fell apart after you and Alice left, only for it to be brought back together when we decided to rebel against the Volturi. Then, when it seemed like maybe, just maybe everything would finally be okay I have to go and fuck it all up by becoming a monster. That's what's gotten into me."

His eyes softened as he shook his head adamantly and opened his mouth to speak but I continued, needing to get it all out. Now that I had opened the floodgates there would be no shutting them any time in the near future.

"I'm a monster Edward!" I hissed. "You heard Caius, I did things to them that he would never have even though of. And that's not even the worst thing I did."

"You're not a monster," he assured me quietly. "They deserved every bit of it and more. I saw what you did and if it's possible, I love you more for it," he confessed.

I let out a disgusted huff. "You witnessed it all, you saw firsthand what I did to Alec and Jane and yet you continue to claim to love me?" I asked incredulously. "You really are one sick bastard Edward Masen."

"Don't Bella, I know you're hurting and upset but please don't push me away. We'll get through this, together. I love you."

"I told you not to say that!" I cried.

"But it's true Bella, you have to believe me," he pleaded.

"Why would I believe you?" I spat narrowing my eyes. "After what you said to me in the woods the day you left. Was it necessary to be so cruel? Why would I trust you? Besides you seem to be throwing around those words quite a lot lately. I wonder if you really know what love is."

Edward gave me a bewildered look as he ran his hand through his disheveled hair. "I will forever regret what I did to you, the pain I put you through but I swear never to lie to you again. Listen to your heart Bella, what does it tell you? Please, if not for me than for Jake, it was his last request."

"Don't you dare!" I screamed knocking him backwards as all of my resolve was washed away at the mere utterance of Jacob's name. "Don't you dare say his name in my presence! You know nothing about him," I hissed menacingly.

"I know he loved you Bella," he said confidently as he straightened himself out, "that you were his best friend. I know he promised Carlisle he would do anything to keep you safe and that he willingly gave his life to do just that. I know that his final wish was for you to continue to fight and for you to listen to your heart." He tried to take a step toward me but my shield held him at an arm's length.

"He is dead Edward! Jacob is dead because of me, because of you!" I shouted while pointing a shaky finger at him accusingly.

His face fell at my accusations before it he set it in a determined frown. At the same time I felt a flutter of activity outside of my shield. It was soft like a butterfly's wing but it shouldn't have been there. I concentrated on locating its source and I was furious to find that it was originating from Edward.

"What. Are. You. Doing?" I demanded through clenched teeth.

"I'm just, uh, I was just…" he trailed off as he looked away embarrassed.

"Were you trying to get past my shields Masen?"

"I just want you to talk to me, to let me in. Please Love, let me see what you're thinking. Let me help you."

"God! Just leave me the fuck alone!"

"I can't do that Bella. Just let me in. Please, just try to lift the shield on your mind. I can take it all away, block out all the hurt and unpleasant memories. It'll be like none of this ever happened."

"Who the fuck died and made you God?" I screamed. "Where do you get off thinking you can just force your way in to my mind and make me forget? What if I don't want to forget? What if I want to remember what I did so I can be sure it never happens again?"

"Please, be reasonable. It doesn't have to be this way. Just please let me do this for you, let me make it all go away."

I placed my hands on either side of my face and pressed my fingertips to my temples in exasperation. Nothing I was saying was getting through to him. I didn't understand why this was so important to him or why he kept lying about loving me, his life was no longer in danger there was no reason for it.

"Why is this so important to you?" I demanded.

"Because I love you Bella, I can't stand to see you in pain."

"Would you stop saying that?" I begged.

"Saying what?"

"That you love me. Just, stop!"

"But why? I do love you."

"Would you just stop lying? I can't take it anymore. I know you don't love me, I get it. I know you just said it the first time because you were scared that I would kill you and honestly I would have had Jasper not stopped me but I don't understand why you keep saying it."

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about, Bella. I'm not lying and I didn't say it because I was scared. Please believe me, I do lo..."

"Don't say it," I warned him.

"Give me one good reason why. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't tell you how I feel about you," he demanded.

"Because," I paused searching for the right words, "because I know you're in love with Bree."

"I'm in love with Bree?" he asked pausing between each word as though he were just getting used to the idea.

"Yes. I heard you, hell I saw you kiss her."

"I'm not in love with Bree," he said with a shake of his head.

"So what, you're lying to her now too?" I asked incredulous that he would toy with someone else's emotions as he did mine.

"No," he said slowly.

"Then what?"

"What you heard, Bella, I do love Bree, but not in the same way that I love you," he rushed to explain. "I love her the same way you love Rosalie, as a sister."

"But I saw you, you were kissing her. I certainly don't kiss anyone I love like family like that."

He managed to look ashamed. "It's true, she kissed me and I kissed her back but you have to believe me, I was imagining she was you the entire time. I thought you were dead!"

"So you kissed her because you thought I was dead? Are you listening to yourself? In what world does any of what you just said to me make sense?"

"I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. It was a mistake, it meant nothing to me and I will regret it for the rest of eternity. Please, you have to believe me, it's you I want Bella. Not Bree or anyone else, only you."

"Well it's a little late for that now isn't it Edward? Because of your little mistake I wasn't there for Jake when he needed me most and now he's dead."

"You can't blame yourself. Caius is the one …"

"No, Caius may have been the one to hurt Jake physically but it was my inability to react that killed him. I am the murderer, I signed his death warrant. He died trying to protect me, all because you wanted one last kiss."

"You can't honestly believe that Bella."

"As far as I'm concerned you no longer have any right to care about what I believe."

"Don't Bella. Please don't do this, we can try. Please don't give up on us. I love …"

"Just, just stay away from me Edward, please," I whispered, barely holding all of my hurt at bay.

Edward pinched his nose but nodded his head. "I'll give you time Bella but I'll never give up on you, on us."

I opened my mouth to retort but though better of it and instead nodded my head in understanding before turning on my heel and quickly fleeing the castle.

Twilight had descended on Volterra again and as I wandered the city streets I was acutely aware of Edward ghosting my every move. Thankfully he was respecting my wishes and giving me some space, at least for now. I was now even more desperate to escape Volterra and the horrors that had occurred within its walls but I needed a distraction to make it possible.

After wandering for a few hours I returned to the castle in dire need of a distraction big enough to shake Edward long enough to make my great escape. A large crowd was my best bet. If I could get someone to distract Edward I was confident I could move fast enough to hide my trail before anyone realized I had gone.

The drama that I found waiting for me inside the castle walls was more than I ever could have hoped for and much stranger than anything I ever could have imagined. Apparently, poor Seth had managed to imprint on a vampire and not just any vampire but Edward's Bree.

The pack was in an uproar over Seth's new imprint and poor Seth looked both ecstatic and horrified. I knew from my time with the wolves that imprinting was entirely involuntary and irreversible. It was very similar to vampires falling in love, life altering and eternal. For Seth, imprinting was sure to be both exciting and terrifying but to imprint on a vampire, well I knew for a fact that had never happened before and I could only imagine how confused he and the rest of the pack would be.

Jake's theory was that they imprinted on someone who would be the best match for carrying on the wolf gene but this threw a real wrench in that theory seeing as how vampires can't have children. Toss in the fact that vampires are technically the wolves' only mortal enemies and you get the mess I was currently witnessing. There was no doubt in my mind that this was my chance to escape, no opportunity would ever be better than this one.

Part of me felt like I should stick around and help out. It would make sense since I knew more about the pack and imprinting than most of the pack did now that Jake was gone but his absence only solidified my need to leave. I was positive none of the wolves would want anything to do with me now and I couldn't blame them, I didn't want to have anything to do with me.

After entering the throne room, I made sure to catch the eyes of both Emmett and Esme. It was imperative that several vampires remember seeing me here so that hopefully no one would notice my absence until after I was long gone. All I needed now was for Edward to become distracted long enough for me to slip out undetected. I wasn't worried about anyone else noticing me leaving. I was acutely aware that no one was anywhere near as concerned with my whereabouts at all time as Edward suddenly was, not even my own parents.

Luckily, it didn't take long for my shadow to catch up to me. Either he had overheard the commotion same as I had and had come to investigate or he had been listening to everyone's thoughts because he came storming into the room looking murderous.

"What the hell dog?" He grounded out through clenched teeth.

"Chill dude, I didn't do it on purpose. It just kinda, happened," Seth replied abashed.

"I will not chill, dude! How could you do this? She is just a child doesn't she get any say in this?"

"Of course she does," said Sam as he stepped forward to protect his pack mate. "But why wouldn't she want him? He is her perfect match, everything she could ever hope for in a mate even if she is a filthy bloodsucker."

With a snarl, Edward launched himself at a startled looking Sam throwing him backwards. Sam sprung lithely to his feet and shifted in a matter of nanoseconds. Now there was a snarling vampire and a snarling black werewolf going toe to toe in the middle of an ancient castle.

While everyone's attention was focused intently on the battling vampire and werewolf, I took the opportunity to slip undetected out the door. I wasn't worried that they would actually hurt each other, much. The pack would only allow the fight to go on for so long before they stepped in, as would my father and brothers. I was just counting on the fight lasting a few moments more, followed by the messy aftermath of hurt pride and confusion, to allow me an adequate amount of time to escape.

I ran full tilt from Volterra, moving faster than I ever have before. Never had I felt so free and out of control as I did while flying through the countryside. As I ran I tried to touch as little as possible while also following routes that were heavily traveled in an effort to mask my scent.

I raced across fields and valleys, through streams and over bridges laying out a web of scent that would be nearly impossible to follow. I was the best in my family at leaving false scent trails and this time I had really outdone myself. Jasper's tracking skills were good but I was much older and had far more experience in this sort of thing than he did, with any luck he would never find me. For good measure I left a strong scent trail leading to the airport to try and mislead them further. Once my false trails were laid, I proceeded to make my way toward my true destination.

I had decided not to take any form of transportation out of Italy. Instead, I was going to swim. It was just another part of my plan to lose everyone and confuse any visions Alice might have. The only place we can't track is in water so this was perfect, there would be no way anyone could follow my trail so I was guaranteed quiet and as much peace as my plagued mind would allow.

Seeing as how seventy percent of the planet is covered in oceans, even if she were to get a vision of my whereabouts, Alice would have no way of knowing where I was or when and if I would return as I wasn't quite sure myself. My general destination was America but I hadn't decided on the east or west coast and I was seriously considering just spending the rest of eternity wandering the seafloor. I would become the world's first vampiric mermaid.

As I reached the sea cliffs, the thought of giving myself completely over to the sea was quite appealing. The cliffs here reminded me of the ones in La Push where I had spent many summer nights with Jacob, cliff diving and sharing stories of our many adventures over the centuries, his were always the best. Jacob would have loved the idea of a vampire mermaid, hell he probably would have wanted to join me.

I closed my eyes and threw myself over the cliff, giving myself completely over to the feeling of helplessness and freedom the freefall provided. Too soon, I hit the water and I allowed my body to be tossed around and battered by the storm swollen sea. The water was dark, cold and silent, much like my heart and for the first time in a long time I felt like I was where I was supposed to be. Not needing to breathe had never been such a good thing.

Slowly I paddled far out to sea and allowed myself to settle on the sea floor long after I had left the noise of the shipping lanes far behind. The ocean, normally teaming with life was deserted around me as the animals, sensing the presence of a dangerous predator, had either hidden or fled for safer waters. I was slightly disappointed but glad for the peace I was being given. Now I was truly alone with my thoughts.

The pressure of the water settled around me like a security blanket. And I allowed myself to relax into its crushing embrace. During my swim daylight had broken but at these depths the sunlight was invisible, even to my eyes and I relished the darkness, the dark was the only place where monsters like me deserved to exist.

After some time, I closed my eyes and found myself looking into a pair of expressive and warm brown eyes, Jacob's eyes. I spent the next few days allowing my body to drift around with the ocean tides, concerned only with remembering Jacob. I replayed every moment we had ever shared, the good and the bad as I said my goodbyes to my sun for that's what he had been.

Jacob had come blazing into my existence, lighting up my sepia toned existence and painting it in Technicolor without any warning. He had woken me up and given me a reason to look forward to each new day. We had been apart often. At times we would go decades without seeing one another but I had never had any doubt in my mind that he would be around for eternity, just as I would. I had taken my time with him for granted and now that it was over I would do anything to get it back.

Edward had been right, Jake had wanted me to listen to my heart but what he didn't understand was that my heart was torn. Part of me wanted to be with Edward, to forgive him, but a much bigger part was scared. Scared of giving someone that much power over me, of getting hurt again there would be no surviving that kind of hurt a second time.

I knew without question that I loved Edward, there was never any doubt about that but I still didn't trust him not to lie to me again, not to leave me again if he thought that was best and I still wasn't convinced that he was actually in love with me. His words were just that, words, and coming from him they meant next to nothing. It seemed like he was always saying one thing and doing another. I wanted him to be happy but after many days of reflection I came to the decision that I couldn't make him happy, hell I couldn't make myself happy.

By the time I made my decision I knew without a doubt that Alice and everyone else were well aware that I was missing, floating somewhere out at sea, and that they were probably sick with worry. I was glad they still hadn't found me, my plan had worked and I had gotten what I so desperately needed, time alone to make some very important and life altering decisions.

By my estimation I had been gone for about a month, give or take a few days, long enough for things to have settled down and for everyone to return home. Now that I had made my choices it was time for me to return to Forks.

* * *

Don't worry for all of you that think this confrontation between Bella and Edward wasn't enough there will be plenty more to come, in the next story. That's right I'm ending this story, sad but there is a sequel that I am working on right now. I just felt that this story is over, the Volturi are gone and Bella and Edward's relationship is completely changed, it's time for a new chapter of their lives. There will be one more chapter of The Bench before I end this hot mess. The sequel is tentatively titled The World Spins Madly On and will be updated weekly just like this story so there won't be any wait like with some sequels. Thank you so much for sticking with me during my first foray into fan fiction and I hope you continue to keep reading!

XOXO,

Bellarella


	35. Song For The Dead

Song For The Dead

**Disclaimer: Twilight will always belong to Stephanie Meyer but The Bench At The End Of The Sidewalk will always belong to me and that's enough. Today's song is Song For The Dead by Sea Wolf and this chapter is just the way you like it, extra long (that's what she said).**

BPOV

When I broke the surface of the water for the first time in about a month it was quite disorienting. My lungs expanded to take in fresh air for the first time in weeks while my eyes quickly adjusted to the presence of light after my long sojourn in the world of frozen darkness. I felt like a newborn, leaving the safety and comfort of their mother's womb for the first time and entering the harsh, cruel world.

The sea had cradled me, held me close and protected me so well for so long that I was quite hesitant to leave its loving embrace but it needed to be done. I owed it to Carlisle and Esme to return to Forks, to let them know I was still alive.

After swimming aimlessly for a day and a half I determined that I was somewhere just off the coast of Norway. Apparently the ocean tides had pulled me north along the continental shelf. It would normally have been easy for me to catch a flight from Norway to the States but I had been floating in the ocean for so long that the jeans and t-shirt I had been wearing when I left Italy had all but disintegrated off my body making public transportation a no go. I had no complaints as it gave me an excuse to stay in the ocean for awhile longer while I swam back to Forks.

I'll admit it, I was dragging my feet. I could have easily nicked some clean clothes from a nearby town without ever being seen but in my defense I was really unsure of how I would be received when I resurfaced after my sudden departure. Instead of taking a direct route I decided to take the roundabout way. Instead of swimming West through the Arctic Ocean and around Canada, I chose instead to swim East around Russia and down the coast of North America.

As I swam slowly under the ice flows of the frozen ocean I played out every scenario that might await me once I reached Washington. Unfortunately, every scenario I came up seemed to end with my eternal banishment so I tried not to dwell on it any longer.

Faster than I would have liked, I found myself entering the warmer waters of the Pacific Ocean and before too long I saw the cliffs of La Push fast approaching. If I was unsure about how I would be received by Carlisle and Esme I was even more unsure of how I would be received by the wolves. Would I still be welcome here? I decided to take my chances since this was the only place, other than my own house, that I ever kept my clothes.

As I emerged from the sea I was met by a cacophony of sounds welcoming back to the land I had once considered my home. The shore and the forest beyond were teeming with life and the long extinguished fire in my throat began to rekindle itself as I was reminded that I hadn't fed in over a month.

Gingerly I made my way over the polished sea stone toward Jacob's former home, afraid of what I would find there. I ghosted my way through the trees, careful to keep out of sight and far from any human temptation. I knew full and well that the pack was completely aware of my intrusion and would make themselves known presently. They had every right to kill me for stepping foot on their land and if they chose to kill me I wouldn't put up a fight.

By the time I reached Jacob's front door I could sense the presence of two wolves. I stopped and waited for them to make their appearance, to reveal my fate. I wasn't disappointed, within a matter of moments two large human forms emerged from the surrounding forest.

"Bells!" Seth cried out happily before jogging toward me. "Oh my god I can't believe it's actually you! I've missed you B!" He exclaimed before catching me up in a big bear hug and swinging me around.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the young wolf's enthusiasm. Apparently he had forgiven me, even if I was undeserving. "I've missed you as well Seth but would you mind, uh, putting me back down so I can get some clothes?" I asked while I gestured toward my bedraggled form.

Seth blushed crimson as he set me back down took in my state of undress. "Oh yeah, um sure, that would probably be best," he mumbled in embarrassment as I turned and opened the warped wooden door.

I hadn't set foot in Jacob's house since running away to La Push all those months ago and I was unprepared for what awaited me within. Nothing had been touched, not a single item had been moved since I had been here last. If it weren't for the fine layer of dust and the fading scent of werewolf I would be tempted to believe that Jacob was still living here.

Refusing to dwell on Jacob's absence, I quickly grabbed my spare jeans and one of Jacob's old shirts, allowing myself to be surrounded by his comforting scent for awhile longer. After tying my hair back and cinching the oversized shirt I returned to the front of the house, prepared to meet the pack.

It was unsurprising to me that the entire pack had gathered outside, waiting for me to finish dressing. I assumed that even though Seth's reception had been warm they would now want to formally banish me from La Push, forever. I was obviously taken aback when instead of stern frowns I was met with happy smiles and warm greetings.

The confusion must have been evident on my face because Sam's grin faltered slightly. "Is everything alright Bella? Are you okay?"

I bit my lip but nodded my head in assurance. "I'm, I'm fine, just a little confused I guess," I told him honestly.

"'Bout what B?" Seth asked curiously.

"I'm just a little surprised that you are all being so nice to me. I mean I don't deserve it after what I did."

"I'm not sure I follow," Seth admitted with a shrug. "What is it you did exactly?"

I was bewildered by his ignorance about the events that had transpired in Volterra. I hung my head, refusing to meet any of their trusting dark eyes before answering quietly. "I killed Jacob. It's my fault he's dead."

My confession was met with a smothering silence. I felt the weight of their stares bearing down upon me until I mustered up enough courage to meet their eyes.

"What are you talking about Bella? What do you mean you killed Jacob?" Leah demanded.

"I killed him. By allowing him to come to Italy I led him into danger and when I left him to fend for himself in the throne room I signed his death warrant. If it weren't for me Jacob would still be here, with all of you," I admitted.

"You killed Jacob?" Sam asked incredulously.

I nodded my head yes as I was too choked up with guilt to speak.

"So you were the one who paralyzed him?" he asked.

I shook my head no, that had been Alec, not me.

"Okay," Paul continued, "so were you the one who burned him from within his mind?"

Again I shook my head no, that had been Jane's doing, not mine.

"Alright, then you must have been the one who broke his body, ultimately killing him," Quil supplied.

For the third time I shook my head no. Caius had been the one to brutalize and finally kill Jacob, not me.

"So if you weren't the one to paralyze, burn, or break Jacob, how exactly did you kill him Bella?" Leah asked.

"I let them do it," I croaked. "I just sat there and did nothing. I am as much a murderer as any of the others."

"You are no more responsible than any of the rest of us Bella," Seth replied as he wrapped his oversized arm around my shoulders and led me off the porch to stand amongst the pack. "You are not the one who killed him, we know that. Now it's time for you to accept that."

"But how do you know?" I asked. "How can you all be so sure I'm not the one who dealt him the final deathblow?"

"Because I was there, we all were," he replied while gesturing to the sea of tanned faces surrounding me.

"You were what?" I sputtered embarrassed that my ultimate moment of shame was shared with the world.

"We were there Bella," Embry said tapping his temple, "in Jacob's mind. We saw everything that happened like we were in the room with you."

"Then you saw me just sit there while they tortured and killed Jake."

"We saw you go into shock at what you saw when you were thrown into that room if that's what you mean," Sam countered.

"No one holds you responsible for what happened that day Bella, especially Jacob. There was nothing you could do, we understand, Jake understood. Trust us," Seth said reassuringly.

"But I … I could have … I should have …" I sputtered in disbelief.

"You really couldn't have," Seth replied forcefully. "Jake was happy to sacrifice himself so that you could live, he would have done anything for you. Besides, it was his time to go. He waited so long to rejoin his loved ones and now, he has."

Looking around I felt like some of the weight had been lifted from my shoulders. The pack had witnessed firsthand what had happened and yet they still were unwilling to place any of the blame on me. It made me feel lighter than I had in ages knowing they had forgiven me. Now if it was only so easy to forgive myself …

"He's buried close by, would you like to visit him?" Embry asked, interrupting my inner musings.

"I ... no ... I mean, not yet. I'm just, I'm not quite ready for that yet," I admitted.

"I understand. But just know that whenever you're ready we'll be here for you," Embry promised before returning to the forest with the rest of the pack in tow, save Seth.

"Thank you," I replied sincerely before offering the young wolf a tentative smile and receiving a toothy grin in return.

"I suppose you'll be returning to Forks then?" Seth asked.

"Uh yeah," I replied lamely, rubbing the back of my neck. "I suppose it's about time I resurfaced don't you think?"

"Yeah, probably," he admitted. "Your family went pretty crazy looking for you once they realized you were gone. They were worried that one of the escapees had gotten a hold of you, no one could remember when they had last seen you."

"Oh crap," I swore, "I hadn't even thought about that. I just wanted to get away you know for some time to think, I didn't mean to make them think I could be dead."

"Eh, it didn't last too long. Alice got a vision about you floating underwater and told them you were safe and to stop looking otherwise you would bolt."

"Still …"

"Don't sweat it Bells, no harm no foul right? Besides, it's about time you started acting more like an angsty teenager and less like the responsible one in your familia."

"I guess you're right," I conceded hesitantly.

"I am," he said confidently. "Where were you anyway?"

"Underwater."

"Yeah, but where?"

"I'm not sure actually. I went under somewhere off the coast of Spain and let myself float along the bottom for a few weeks. I kind of fancied myself the first vampiric mermaid. When I finally came to the surface a few days ago I was somewhere off the coast of Norway so I decided to swim around Russia and down the coast," I explained with a shrug.

"Damn girl that's awesome!" he exclaimed. "It must be so sweet not needing to breathe like ever," he said jealously.

"It's what I do," I replied nonchalantly.

"It's good to have you back Bells. Now, let's get you back home."

"Okay," I huffed as I began jogging slowly towards Forks.

"Taking your time there Cullen?" Seth teased, loping along beside me easily.

"Not that it's any of your business but yes. Why are you following me anyway, looking for a home pup?"

"Hardy har har. You don't think the pack wants to miss this epic little reunion do you?" I wrinkled my forehead in confusion. The only wolf for miles was Seth. "I'm gonna shift when we get there so we can all watch," he explained. "Besides I wanna go see my girl."

"Your … oh Bree?" I asked.

"Yep. She's amazing Bells," he gushed happily. "She's the prettiest, funniest, sweetest girl I've ever met. Just wait, you're gonna love her."

I let out an unladylike snort of disgust. "Love her, right. Sorry Seth but I'm not real eager to jump on that bandwagon."

"Yeah, I heard about that … um please don't think any less of me Bells but I'm not getting any more involved in that hot mess than I already am."

I waved him off letting him know that there were no hard feelings. There was no need to drag anyone else down with me. I was happy that Seth had imprinted, I just wish it hadn't been on Bree seeing as how I wasn't really her biggest fan. I had really been hoping they had just left her in Volterra rather than bringing her back with them. I decided to try and be as civil as possible but that home wrecking bitch better not have touched my shit.

After running in silence for a few minutes we reached the break in the tree line that outlined the Cullen property. Seth ran off to shift and returned a few seconds in wolf form, ready to broadcast this mess of a family reunion to the rest of La Push.

I had smelled them a few miles back so I wasn't surprised to find my family, along with the Masens and Bree waiting on the steps for me. I assumed that either Alice had seen this coming or one of the wolves had called ahead to let them know we were coming.

They really were a sight to behold they brought new meaning to the phrase All-American family. Carlisle and Esme stood on the top step with their arms around each other looking every part the loving parents. Below them stood Emmett smiling happily with a stoic looking Rosalie and on their right stood Jasper with a beaming Alice waving happily in my direction. On the very bottom step Edward waited staring intently in my direction while Bree stood nervously beside him.

I stood motionlessly, unsure of how to approach these beautiful creatures. Once I had counted myself among them but no longer. I had given myself over to the darkness and because of that I was tainted. I would never be as pure as those who stood before me.

I was seriously considered turning tail and running fast and far when I felt a gentle nudge on my back. Seth was urging me further. I glanced back at his open honest eyes and decided to face the music. I deserved whatever I got and more.

I reached back and gave Seth's large head a small pat, assuring him silently that I would not run, for now at least. I then gathered my courage, squared my shoulders and took a tentative step forward. My foot never touched the ground.

Faster than the speed of thought, I found myself caught up in a barrage of hugs and kisses. The chatter surrounding me was so fast and furious that I was having trouble following.

Emmett had been the first to reach me, scooping me up into a crushing bear hug while Alice pranced around eagerly, jumping up to kiss my cheeks and hugging anything she could reach. Rosalie was scolding me while simultaneously trying to pry me out of Emmett's death grip for a hug. Esme was sobbing into Carlisle's shoulder as she watched the reunion and a smiling Jasper was standing beside them sending out waves of happiness and love judging by the escalation of emotions.

The only ones who hadn't moved were Edward and Bree. Edward was staring at the group of over emotional vampires with a look of extreme frustration. Either he wasn't happy about my sudden return or he was peeved that I had blocked him from Seth's mind, I didn't need him prying into things that were none of his business. I decided that it was most likely a mixture of both. Meanwhile, Bree was still cowering into his side. Her proximity to him really pissed me off but I reigned in my jealousy. He wasn't mine to claim and was free to allow whatever floozy he wanted to hang all over him. I just felt bad for Seth, he was so in love with this girl yet she chose to hang all over Edward like some sort of leech.

After a few minutes Jasper toned down his waves of emotion enough for everyone to regain their composure and release me. As the crowd around me parted I found myself face to face with the person I had undoubtedly hurt most by running away like I did. His golden eyes looked deeply into my coal black soul. I could feel the layers of hurt being peeled back one a time to reveal my raw and bleeding soul with just one look. We did not move for an infinite period of time simply regarding one another and speaking our hurt without words before the spell was broken and I found myself wrapped tightly in his arms.

"Bella," he breathed lovingly into my sea ravaged hair as Esme began to sob harder.

"Carlisle," I managed to choke out through my own overpowering sobs.

He gave me a quizzical look at my use of his given name but was quickly distracted by Esme's introduction into our reunion. She latched onto me with such force that I feared I may never get free. Her motherly embrace was so foreign to me that I was momentarily stunned before I came to my senses and wrapped my arms loosely around her petite form.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again Isabella Cullen," she managed to scold me between the many kisses she was placing upon my face. "You have no idea how worried I've, we've been."

"I'm sorry Esme," I apologized ashamed. "I promise never to leave you like that again."

Over Esme's shoulder I saw Edward's brow furrow as he opened his mouth to speak but found himself cut off by Seth who had shifted back into human form.

"Well that was a disappointed," he said jovially. "We were really hoping for something a bit more entertaining. Perhaps an epic grounding or a good spanking would be warranted," he suggested helpfully.

"Seth," I warned.

"Well it's what my mom would do," he pouted dejectedly before brightening up again when he caught sight of Bree. "Hey Bree!" he shouted happily with an enthusiastic wave.

Bree waved shyly back at the young wolf before burrowing herself further into Edward's side. I bit back a growl but my hatred for her grew. I'll love her, my ass.

"Yes well Seth, you can rest assured that my wife and I will be having a serious talk with our youngest daughter but there will be no spanking involved," Carlisle replied seriously and I cringed. I knew this was too good to be true. "But right now we'd like some time alone as a family if that's alright. I do believe you've spent a fair bit of time with Bella already today."

Seth nodded good naturedly, "Sure thing Dr. C. I'll see you around B, good luck," he said with a knowing wink. "Bye Bree," he called cheerily.

"Traitor," I mumbled lowly under my breath before he turned and disappeared into the undergrowth, abandoning me to my family and the rest.

The world was silent for a moment before Esme suggested we all retire indoors. We all trooped indoors with a happily skipping Alice dragging Jasper behind her.

"Bella, you have no idea how happy I am that you're back," Esme professed. "I know I speak for the entire family when I say that we are desperate to hear about why you left without a word and where you've been but first I'm sure you would like to take a shower and get out of those clothes."

I glanced down at myself self consciously. I had forgotten about borrowing Jacob's clothes. I had no intention letting his scent go so soon but a shower did sound wonderful. Taking an inconspicuous sniff it became very apparent that I reeked of low tide.

"That sounds great Esme," I replied eager for a reprieve from the charged emotional climate my return had caused.

"Well go ahead sweetie, we'll be waiting down her when you've finished," she assured me with a smile.

After forcing my face into an awkward smile in return, I quickly darted upstairs. Once there, I debated going into my bedroom but decided just to hop into the much needed shower instead.

I took my time in the bathroom, allowing the scalding hot water to wash away all traces of my stint on the ocean floor. Eventually, the water began to run cold signaling the end of my shower. After allowing my body to air dry I tacked the impossible task of working a ridiculous number of knots out of my hair. All too soon my time in the bathroom came to an end, I couldn't stall any longer. With a resigned sigh I opened the bathroom door only to be met by a grinning Alice.

"Oh Bella, I'm so glad your back!" She squealed while pulling me in for yet another hug. "You have no idea how worried I was about you. I'm sorry I didn't see you in time to stop you from leaving. Forgive me?" She pleaded.

"There is nothing to forgive," I assured her, squeezing back. "I meant for you not to see me. I knew you wouldn't let me leave but I just had to be alone to sort some things out."

"And have you?" she asked.

"Somewhat. I'm still working through some things but I feel like I'm beginning to get a handle on things."

"That's good Bella," Alice said with a smile. "I still a little confused though."

"Why's that?"

"It's nothing to worry about really," she assured me, "it's just that your future is very hazy. I can only make out vague shapes in your future, nothing definite," she mused.

"Maybe it's the wolves," I suggested.

"Nah, they block the future out entirely. No, this is something else …"

"Eh well as long as I have a future right Alice," I joked.

"Hum, oh right, yeah," she answered distractedly once we reached my bedroom door.

"Well I guess I'll just grab some shoes and meet you downstairs."

"What? No!" Alice shouted. "Just shoes, you've got to be kidding me Bella! You need an entire wardrobe change. Where did you get those rags anyway? They reek!" she exclaimed.

"They're not rags, the shirt belonged to Jacob and I happen to like the way they smell thank you very much," I defended. "His scent is all I have left of him and I plan on surrounding myself with it as much as possible before it disappears forever."

Alice looked repentant, "I'm sorry Bella, I didn't know."

"It's alright, now how about those shoes?" I said, trying to distract her.

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Please let me pick them, I promise you won't be disappointed. Please Bella, please, please, please," she begged excitedly.

A small chuckle of amusement escaped my lips at her antics. "Sure Alice."

"Yippee!" She shouted excitedly before knocking me out of the way and rushing into my bedroom in her mad rush for my closet.

I let out another chuckle of amusement before following her into my sanctuary. The sight that met me was not what I was expecting. My walls of book cases had been removed and replaced with Jonas Brother's posters, my shelves of memorabilia from the past three centuries were missing, and my bed was covered in some sort of pink fuzz.

"Um Alice, what the hell happened to my room?" I demanded.

"Oh, that. Esme and Carlisle let Bree use your room while you were gone, they knew you wouldn't care," she said flippantly. "She wanted to be as close to Edward as possible so this was the best choice. Besides, she's about your size so she's been borrowing your clothes while I shop for a new wardrobe for her."

"Is that so?" I ground out angrily between clenched teeth.

"Yep," came her muffled reply from deep within the closet.

Oh it was on. My level of hatred for this Bree girl had just grown exponentially since I arrived but again I had to reign myself in if I wanted to control the monster currently pulling at its shackles deep within me. I tried to think happy thoughts and when that failed me I simply cut myself off from my emotions as much as possible, it would be better this way.

"Tada!" Alice cried happily emerging from the closet with a pair of shoes held high above her head like some long lost treasure. "These are perfect! Put them on Bella, put them on," she urged impatiently.

Knowing I had promised to let Alice pick out my shoes without any sort of stipulations, I bit my lip to keep from protesting the wearing the four inch stilettos she was currently displaying triumphantly.

"Well, what do you think?" she asked.

"They're, well, they're," I stalled, unsure of how to answer her question without hurting her feelings.

"They're beautiful aren't they?" she gushed, oblivious to my discomfort.

I nodded my head while taking the monstrosities from her and slipping them on my feet. "Thank you Alice."

"Are you done yet?" A familiar voice drawled from the doorway.

"Yep Jazzy," said Alice popping the p and skipping happily to her niche in his side. "Isn't this great? Bella's back and now she and Edward can live happily ever after. It's just like a fairy tale," she sighed dreamily.

A feeling of dread washed through me, earning a concerned look from Jasper, before I was able to once again distance myself from my emotions. It seemed this would be harder than I thought. Apparently Edward hadn't informed anyone that I had asked him to stay away from me. Sure I had come back to Forks but it certainly wasn't for him, I owed him nothing. No, I had come back because it owed it to Carlisle and Esme.

"Sure darlin'," Jasper drawled before placing a tender kiss upon her head. "I was just wonderin' if I could have a moment with Miss Goldie here."

"Sure," she agreed. "I should go anyway. I have a lot of shopping to do now that Bella's back." After giving me one last hug she skipped happily from the room to inflict her shopping torture on some other poor soul.

"So I was wonderin if you wanted to go for a quick hunt, from the looks of it," he motioned to my completely black eyes, "you could use one."

"What about?" I tilted my head to indicate the eavesdropping group of vampires currently waiting below.

"They'll understand," he assured me. "So how about it Goldie?"

"Sure thing Tex," I answered with a small smile before taking a flying leap from my window.

Leaving the house had never felt so good and I found it strange. Before I had occasionally needed to escape from my family but I had never felt as trapped as I did now and I had only been back for an hour or two. It was a disconcerting feeling but I attributed it to the fact that I had just spent the past month completely isolated from the rest of the world.

After leaving civilization far behind I allowed my instincts to rule as I gave myself completely over to the hunt. When I caught the scent of mountain lion the monster I had so carefully shackled broke free with a snarl. No longer was I Bella Cullen, I was now the embodiment of pure vampire.

Rather than sneaking up on the big cat and feeding humanely the monster approached it boldly. Sensing a threat the cat's hackles rose and it hissed and spat in warning and in response the monster let out a throaty growl before pouncing on the animal.

The cat struggled valiantly in the arms of its killer, swiping furiously but to no avail. The monster just laughed cruelly as it met the cat's swipes blow for blow, shattering the animal's delicate bones. The cat cried out in pain but refused to give up the fight. As the creature's movements began to slow the monster grew weary of their game and tore with animalistic fury into the animal, ripping and tearing as it went. When the last drop of hot blood had been drained from the carcass, the monster dropped the desecrated corpse to the ground.

The monster caught the scent of another of its kind and turned to defend its territory when it found itself pinned to the ground by another. The monster struggled momentarily against its formidable opponent before throwing out its defensive shield and crouching, ready to attack.

"Bella, it's me!" The attacker said calmly, "You need to calm down you need to let me help you. Can you do that for me? Just let me in and I can help you."

The monster snarled in response but something deep inside was commanding it not to harm this scarred, golden eyed intruder.

"Come on Goldie, just lower the shield and let me in. I know you're scared but I can help you."

Hesitantly, the monster withdrew its shield as the commanding force deep within grew in intensity. When the shield had been fully lifted the monster found itself lying on the ground, cradled tenderly in the arms of the golden haired vampire.

"Bella, come on darlin' just breathe it's okay. Just got a little carried away there, happens to us all," he assured her.

"Jazz," I asked worriedly, "what the hell was that?"

"It was nothin' unexpected," he replied helping me to my feet, "I've seen it happen before. You go too long without feeding and when you finally do you go into a sort of frenzy. Like I said, it happens to the best of us."

I wanted desperately to believe what he was telling me but deep down I knew that even if what he was saying was true I had brought it to a whole new level. It just proved what a monster I had really become. Before I had always been a merciful killer, quite in touch with their surroundings but now the monster came unchained so easily, destroying everything it touched.

"I'm so sorry," I said hanging my head in shame.

"Hey like I said, no sweat. I thought something like this might happen. I just wanted to make sure you were with me rather than with someone like Esme who wouldn't have known what to do."

I shuddered at the thought of what could have happened had I been with anyone other than Jasper and his calming influence.

"I reckon you're good now," he stated with a glance toward the mangled pile of flesh and fur l lying nearby.

"Um, yeah I guess I am," I admitted sheepishly.

"Alright then I suppose it's about time I returned you for questioning," he chuckled.

"Do I have to go?" I whined.

He merely shook his shaggy blonde head with a chuckle before grabbing my hand and strolling casually back the way we had come.

Once we reached the house he stopped and pulled me in for a hug. "I know you're conflicted Bells, I can feel it. Just please, talk to me before you take off again alright."

"Yeah," I promised, "I will."

"I love you Bella," me mumbled into my hair.

"I love you too Jasper," I whispered into his chest.

We entered came through the front door together and were met by five looks of impatience, one look of frustration, and one of terror. The terrified look I was receiving made me laugh evilly inside in satisfaction.

"All better?" Esme asked pulling me to sit between her and Carlisle on the couch.

"Better," I answered honestly. I knew that it may never be all better.

"Good. Now Isabella Marie Cullen I believe you owe your mother and I an explanation for your actions and it had better be good young lady," Carlisle said sternly.

Emmett chuckled childishly in response to the use of my full name before Rosalie reached out and slapped him upside the head. It was good to know some things never change.

"Well," I began while fiddling nervously with Jacob's shirt, "I just needed to you know, get away for awhile."

"No, I don't know. Please explain yourself. Your mother and I were worried sick. You took off without a word to anyone. Not only that but you left so many false trails that we thought you must have been kidnapped."

If I was human I was certain my face would have been red with shame. I hadn't meant for them to worry, I just didn't want them to follow.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Well sorry just isn't going to cut it this time missy. What were you thinking?" I opened my mouth to respond but his rant continued. "I know you weren't thinking. Why couldn't you tell one of us? We would have gladly accompanied you. I'm sure Edward would have been more than happy to…"

"I'm not a baby!" I shouted, angry that I was still being treated like a child even after all I had been through they still didn't respect me. Sure, he was right, I didn't think about how worried Esme would be but had any of the others wanted to leave they would have been able to do so without a babysitter.

"Then I suggest you stop acting like one," Carlisle snapped angrily.

"I would if I was allowed to."

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," he sniffed.

"Like hell you don't!"

"Language Bella," Esme scolded gently.

"Sorry Esme. "

"It's alright dear," she said sweetly.

"Anyway," I continued, turning my attention back to Carlisle, "you know exactly what I'm talking about. If Em or Rose or Jazz had wanted to leave you wouldn't have made them take a babysitter."

"Now Bella, that's not fair."

"You're right, it's not fair. I'm sick of your double standards!"

"Sweetheart you could have been hurt."

"Like heck I could have," I retorted angrily.

"Love, Carlisle's right," Edward interjected making himself known.

"I told you not to call me that," I growled. "Why are you here anyway?"

"This is a family meeting Bella," Carlisle explained.

"That doesn't answer my question. Why are they here? I get why Alice is here but not these two," I gestured toward a shocked looking Edward and a cowering Bree.

"They're here because they're family Bella."

"They are no family of mine," I sniffed in indignation, "and I would appreciate it if they would mind their own business and leave."

The room lapsed into an uncomfortable, shocked silence. Apparently I was right, Edward hadn't told anyone about what had transpired between us in Volterra.

"But, but," Alice stuttered.

"Hush darlin'," Jasper said rubbing her back. "It'll be alright."

Immediately, I could feel Jasper's calming influence curling at the base of my shield, looking for a way in. "Jasper cut it out," I seethed in response.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly from his perch on the arm of Alice's chair.

"Geeze Belly, what crawled up your butt and died?" Emmett snarked.

"You know usually I would slap Emmett for that but for once he's right," Rosalie admitted. "Why are you being such a grade-A bitch?"

"I've just been through more than you could possibly imagine," I snapped, "and I would appreciate it if you could lay off the inquisition."

"You know we can't do that Bella," Carlisle said with a sigh. "We're well aware that Jacob's death was hard on you but that's still no excuse for this kind of behavior. You have a family who would do anything for you, friends that are willing to go up insurmountable odds for you, and a man who loves you."

"No he doesn't," I muttered darkly.

"I'm sorry what?" Esme asked.

"I said no, he doesn't."

Edward was instantly out of his seat and crouching before me. "Bella you know that's not true. How many times do I have to tell you…?"

"You can say it for eternity Edward and that doesn't change anything. I know what I heard, what I say," I spat, pushing him roughly away with my shield.

"What are you talking about Bella?" Alice asked.

"You mean you don't already know?" Jasper exclaimed, shocked.

"No, her future is so muddled that I can't get a read on anything right now," she pouted.

"I guess Edward didn't tell you then," I sneered. "Apparently he's in love with Bree here. He told her just before Jacob and I entered the throne room and when we got inside he was kissing her. He's part of the reason Jacob is dead."

A collective gasp of shock echoed throughout the room as every eye focused on Edward.

"Dude," Emmett said with a disapproving shake of his head.

"It's not like that and you know it Bella," Edward defended himself angrily. "I told you, I love her like a sister and the kiss meant nothing. In fact it meant less than nothing seeing as how I was thinking of you the whole time."

A muffled sob brought everyone's attention to an upset looking Bree before she jumped up and fled the room. Edward looked repentant and made a move to follow her but found himself held in place by Jasper's strong hand.

"Not a good idea man," he said before hooking his thumb in my direction. Edward slumped in defeat and the room lapsed back into deadly silence.

Eventually it became too much for Esme and she suggested that they all leave Edward and I to 'talk it out'. As they filed slowly out from the room I felt abandoned. I would have gladly welcomed another scolding rather than endure this again.

"Bella I…"

"Please, just don't."

"But I thought with you coming back …"

"Please, let's not do this again. Nothing between us has changed Edward. I didn't come back for you. I came back because I owed it to them. I'm sorry, I truly am but I still don't trust you and I would appreciate it if you would just let me be," I beseeched.

"You know I would normally do anything for you but I just can't do that Bella."

"I think you can Edward. I will try to be civil but you need to agree to give me my space."

"But …"

"No buts Edward. You gave me your word before I left now I just need to know, will you or won't you?"

"I will," he consented grudgingly, "but just know this Bella. I meant everything I told you in Italy. I swear that I will never give up on you, on us no matter how long it takes. What we have is true, it's lasting and I can't just forget that and I'm pretty sure you can't either." His pained gaze cut me to the bone but I was unwavering. I could not just act like none of it had ever happened, no matter how much I wanted to.

"Thank you," I squeaked out before turning to go.

"Not that it's any of my business but where are you going?"

"To say goodbye to an old friend," I answered as I passed through the threshold.

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So that's it! Can you believe it? I know I can't. What started out as an experiment in writing somehow mutated into this monstrosity with far more to come. Come on, you didn't really believe I would just abandon Bella and Edward like this did you? Have a little faith. I just needed it end this chapter of their lives, I'm working on the sequel right now. Today is also my 25th birthday and finishing this is a bittersweet little present to myself.

Before I officially end this by marking this story complete, I would like to thank you, all of my loyal readers, whose positive and encouraging reviews kept me writing. Thank you for sticking with me. I would especially like to thank LivsMom, Rae-Prite, Valice Cullen, Baby Bear 08, PobPattzFan4Life, RandomatGedz, and all the others who reviewed almost every chapter, it has really meant a lot!

When I started planning out this story I thought it would be a miracle if it made it to 40,000 words. Now over 65,000 words since then, it is finally time for me to bring The Bench to an end and it is not without tears. This has been my baby and I'm sad to see it go but it's time to move on.

Please add me to author alert so that you are notified when I post the sequel. Thank you again for all the kindness and support you have all shown me over the past eight months to the day, I hope to hear from you all again soon!

XOXO,

Bellarella


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